With all of the advances in technology when it comes to the field of meteorology, the area where I live is already discussing a supremely elevated risk for tornadoes three days from now. The fact that they can do this now is astounding to me given I grew up with a weather radio that basically said, “TAKE COVER NOW!” I’m not that old; we just lived that much in the middle of nowhere. Given my years of experience with tornadoes, I thought I would provide some practical advice to others to help them prepare for Sunday.
- If the chance of tornadoes is at night, it is in your best interest to either sleep in clothes or keep them nearby. This includes bras, pants, and shirts. Should you happen to end up on the news or having to go outside after the storm, then you want to be dressed in a way that you won’t get arrested for public indecency. If you don’t have on your underwear, that’s between you and Jesus. Besides, I fully get that if the tornado did directly hit you, then your underwear may no longer be clean.
- Take your false teeth to the storm shelter! One, tornado warnings can get extended and reoccur in the same night. Sometimes you need snacks while you are in the basement! Also, again should you end up on the news or having to call for help, you want whoever you are talking to with to be able to understand you. Teeth in folks!
- If the sky turns green and you see a tree get uprooted outside the window, it is time to go to the basement! Been there and done that! My parents were on vacation, and I was like twenty and home by myself. As fascinating as it all looked, I figured I should go to the basement. Of course I also should have stayed in the safe area the time I was working and a tornado came through, but how many opportunities do you have to see trees flying by windows? Hmm…I may need to err on the side of caution more.
- Have a “Basement Bag” packed! When there is a chance of storms, we keep bags with extra clothes, snacks, and activities. I also bring my Bible. Why? The Bible has important records and dates in it should documentation be lost. It also has some family history. We also bring important things like wallets, keys, and chargers. The bag is also a good place for the bra and teeth if need be!
- Think about things you would need if the power goes out. If you’re taking candles, be sure to take something to light them! Also, make sure lanterns and flashlights have working batteries. You’re stressed out enough when the sirens go off. Watching the last bit of battery in a lantern die out does not make it easier.
- If you’re in a restaurant and the tornado sirens go off, they are probably going to cram everyone into the freezer. Yes, the freezer. It’s actually the sturdiest, safest area of most restaurants. Seriously, that tornado with the trees flying by the window? There WAS a gas station next to the building where I worked, and ALL that was left standing (with the people safely inside) was the walk-in freezer. Side note, you might experience some really odd way restaurants store stuff when you’re hanging out in the freezer. Also, take your food and drink with you. You might be there for a while.
- If you’re driving and your passenger says, “Have you ever seen a tornado while driving?” then it is not advisable to do what I did which was look at the sky, see the funnel, and proceed to drive a little faster in the opposite direction. That’s not a good idea. I repeat that IS NOT a good idea! What you should do is try to drive to a nearby shelter, or if absolutely necessary pull over in a low lying area. Contrary to popular belief, you are not safe under bridges and overpasses during tornadoes.
What are your best twister tips?
XOXO,
The Great Kaysby
The Great Kaysby 