I’m not perfect.
I make mistakes.
However, I truly believe Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart.”
That said, I will be the first to say that though I’ve been Catholic for most of my life (there was a hiatus in my 20’s), I don’t always remember what the preacher is saying at Mass. Thus, I am truly shocked that today – Monday – I am still pondering yesterday’s sermon on the Heart of the Nation Mass (don’t judge me for watching Mass on YouTube…at least I’m watching!). The priest was talking about the Pharisees and how they were determined to follow the law. He then went on to discuss how Jesus didn’t just want people to follow the law; Jesus wanted people to live the law.
Specifically he mentioned the law of “Thou shalt not kill.” You can follow this law by not murdering. Simple enough. Living the law of “Thou shalt not kill”? Not as simple. If you think about it, every time we have a negative self deprecating thought, we are killing our spirit. Likewise, every time we say something negative about someone, we are killing their self-esteem. It is so easy to make comments such as “She’s gaining weight!” or “He looks like he’s on drugs!” We (society in general) have a tendency to think that if no one hears our negative comments, then it won’t impact them.
Eventually, the person who is having negative comments made about them is going to find out the comments are being made, and there is a very good chance that it is going to make them feel terrible! Their self-esteem might be damaged; their spirit might be killed. If I’m following the law, I didn’t break “Thou shalt not kill.” But if I’m living it? I sure did break it!
The more I thought about this scenario, I began to realize that the idea of “following or living” isn’t just applicable to laws. The idea is applicable to everyday life. My day job – the one that puts food on the table and keeps the shelter over our heads – is teaching. Every school day, I see kids who are following the actions and words of their peers because they want to feel like they have a place. Instead of living their own lives, they get caught up with what is deemed “cool” or “acceptable”. Sometimes they even lose sight of who they are in the process.
I see this with adults too – including myself at times – who want to follow all of what they are told without question. I do this A LOT with what LilKsby’s pediatrician tells us to do to the point that it drives other people bananas! In my life, I’ve never felt like I’m purposely “following” instead of “living”, but as creatures of habit it can be easy to get caught up in just “following”. It’s not intentional. It’s just easy.
That said, a lot of my goals for 2020 are very tied to “living” and not “following”. This year, I want to be more creative. I want to get in better shape. I want to blog more. I want to read a lot of books with LilKsby. I want to spend more time with MrKsby. I want to have purple hair and get my nose pierced even if people think it is weird for someone in their 30’s to want. I want to become the person I am destined to be spiritually, emotionally, and physically. In short? I want “LIVING” and not “FOLLOWING”!
Will it be hard? Yup!
Will it have obstacles? Yup!
Will it be worth it? HELL YES!
By the way…it will also involve music because there is a little girl in me who dreamed of singing, and she’s ready to be free! Luckily, I can carry a tune!
I know this blog has been a little all over the place (let’s face it, that’s how my brain works), but I hope that it inspires you! I hope that in 2020 and every other year that you will choose “living” over “following” and be who you were put on this earth to be! I believe that if we all choose “living” over “following”, then great things can happen!
The Great Kaysby