"My soul is full of longing for the secret of the sea, and the heart of the great ocean sends a thrilling pulse through me." – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Author: The Great Kaysby
I’m a wife, mother, daughter, cat lover, believer in Him and His word, teacher, beauty consultant, actress, costumer, and avid volunteer. 👩🏻🦰 My biggest gift in life is how I can still experience the world with childlike wonder as an adult. 🤩 I love winning, prizes, shiny objects, travel, food, and games! I use emojis way too much but they make me happy! 😊
For me there isn’t just one thing that makes me feel nostalgic. However, the most powerful is probably music. So many songs are tied to people, events, places, etc that it is easy for a song to transport you back to a specific memory. Sometimes the nostalgia of music is great such as hearing BSB and feeling like a teenager; sometimes the nostalgia is sad like hearing Daniel and thinking of my grandpa. I often associate music with whoever introduced me to an artist, song, etc so that can also evoke a lot of nostalgia. I could go on and on about the power of music on reminiscing about the past!
Other things that are nostalgic? Smells can be! Cucumber melon always takes me back. Some items and photos evoke a sense of nostalgia. Driving by a place you used to frequent can also do it. Jewelry, clothes, old letters…I suppose the true answer is anything can be nostalgic!
Tomorrow is officially Election Day though many across the country have participated in early voting. Leading up to this election, we have all had a lot of thoughts. Some have been good; some have been bad; some have been conflicting. No matter your hope for the future, I think there are a couple of things that need to be reflected on by many.
First and foremost, what do you truly know about how the government works? I can’t speak for everyone, but based on the things appearing on my social media, A LOT of people don’t remember what they were taught in High School Civics about the structure and powers of the government or how much certain groups fought for rights like the one to vote. (Side note, I never had a High School Civics class which I think is one of many issues with our education system.) It is painfully obvious that A LOT of people have forgotten that there are three branches of government, and each branch is designed to provide a system of checks and balances to another branch. Along with this, it is painfully obvious that many people do not understand basic economic concepts like the impact supply and demand have on pricing. They also do not understand what little impact elected positions have on pricing. I told a group of teens long ago that if you want higher base wages then you have to expect price increases because top positions in corporations aren’t going to take pay cuts to increase base level employee pay. (I could have a whole separate conversation about this.) I say all this with the thought that no matter the outcome of the elections tomorrow, the best thing people can do is educate themselves on how government works and the part that each citizen plays.
Secondly, I have to say that I am impressed with how many families I saw at early voting. As a child, I loved going with my parents to the polls and learning about the entire election process! When I turned 18, I remember being super excited to register to vote and actually being sad that I couldn’t vote for president for another three years. I attribute this excitement to going with my parents for voting, so when I became a parent, it was important to me that our child see us voting. Now he’s excited to vote one day even though it is many years off for him! He also sees the importance of everyone being able to vote. As we were reading a book about Ancient Greece, he thought it was completely unfair that women and slaves didn’t get to vote. He was sure everyone needed their voices to be heard! I hope he always keeps this excitement for voting and equality!
Here is a pretty picture of a tree. I thought I would lead with a picture of a tree because those seem to get a lot of attention in the fall. Plus, there’s something about pretty trees that provides a calming effect. I’m sure we can all agree that everyone right now can use some calming. Take a deep breath and think about the crisp, refreshing air and the rustling leaves of the tree. Better?
Now, let’s get to the point. There have been a lot of thoughts on my mind lately, and as much as I have wanted to post them on social media, I have refrained from doing so. Posting there just insights drama. Plus, posting in the heat of the moment usually only stirs the pot instead of helping it. Also, I don’t want to increase the emotional overload that comes from “doom scrolling” as it just leads to feeling overwhelmed and disgruntled with the people you know. After a while, it overwhelms you so much that your brain takes a page from Buffy Summers in “Graduation Day Part 2,” and you’re left feeling like your most profound thought is “Fire bad, tree pretty.” I feel like I’m here when it comes to all the hate I currently see from people on social media.
So to get my mojo back, I’m doing a brain dump (one of my favorite mental health exercises) of things I wish people understood. Grab some popcorn, and enjoy the show!
I wish people would take time to do research instead of just posting stuff they assume is true because it is on social media. I started having this thought when I saw someone share a picture said to be depicting teaching children Satanistic practices when in reality it was a picture promoting a group with St Joseph as their patron saint. A quick Google search of news articles from the last four years and researching St Joseph could have cleared this up before getting a group of people riled up. However, this lesson can be applied to multiple areas. Learning how to research and how to learn are keys to success in life.
People who make blanket assumptions about people because they are or are not something are just as in the wrong as the people they are spreading assumptions about. I am a Christian. For me this means I worship one God, and I do my best to follow what Jesus preached which was to love one another, not judge, and seek forgiveness. In line with this, I am not going to judge anyone for their lifestyle or deny anyone basic human rights. In my opinion another’s choices are between them and God (or their deity). I say all this because there are a lot of posts right now bashing Christians for what a SMALL faction of us actually believe and practice. To lump all Christians together and say we all do or do not do something is hurtful to those of us who are just doing our best to live like Jesus asked. It’s perceived the same as comments like “You’re from X, so you must be Y and Z” or “You’re doing X so you must be Y.” Assumptions hurt, and while they may be created based on the actions of some, to lump everyone in the same category is wrong!
In regards to upcoming elections, people are so fired up about some amendments and questions on the ballots. I understand having your opinion on a matter, and I believe people should have their own opinions. However, am I the only one who thinks these topics are being brought forth with such vigor to distract from bigger problems? This one kind of ties back to doing research and examining data. For example, is it more pressing to vote a certain way or think, “Shouldn’t the continual being in the bottom percentage of X in the country be getting this level of passionate discussion?”
Places that have great potential also have to be willing to undergo great change. Diamonds come from coal undergoing A LOT of pressure. If you want something to be a diamond, then you have to be willing to go through and overcome a lot of obstacles. I’ve had a couple of experiences lately with things that could be diamonds, but are they willing to make changes? This same line of thinking has made me wonder if I could be a really good business consultant. I don’t want to manage day to day operations of anything, but I feel like I could give plans to help places move in the direction of becoming a diamond.
I’m tired of seeing articles about people who had something horrible happen to them because they were trying to take a picture to post on social media. I am sorry the horrible thing happened; however, if there wasn’t so much fame/infamy given to “social influencers” then the horrible thing may have never happened in the first place because the person wouldn’t have felt like they had to take a dangerous picture just to post it. Along this same thought, I think a discussion about mental health and social influence needs to be started. Perhaps it has been started, and I just need to do some research on the topic!
I’m sure that I could keep going, but my state has improved from “Fire Bad, Tree Pretty” with my brain dump. Thanks for indulging me!
This is a safe place, so if there is something you need to get off your mind, leave it in the comments!
Have you heard of a bagatelle? At the most simple it is a beautiful piece of music that is short and light. A popular example is Fur Elise by Beethoven. Using Duolingo music, I just played a beautiful bagatelle that only consisted of four notes. While I know many songs are simplified for Duolingo purposes, the beauty and mood evoked by only four notes got me thinking: “What are some other simple yet beautiful things that can fill you with joy?”
For me, one of the simplest most beautiful things is watching a cat yawn. I’ve always thought cats, whether it be a house cat size or tiger size, are super sweet when they yawn! Watching LilKsby yawn evokes a similar feeling! Another simple thing that I find beautiful is the warmth of the sun on my face. This is my favorite feeling when out for a walk, and it fills me with peace. Bodies of water – especially those found in nature – provide the same feeling. One more thing I find to be simple and beautiful is singular strokes created by a paintbrush, pencil, charcoal, ink etc. I love all of the different ways a single stroke can be drawn. Plus, when all the single strokes come together, they create exquisite works of art! When you get to reflecting, there are many beautiful simple things!
What are some simple things that you find to be beautiful?
For as long as I can remember, I have had a fear of flying. I’m not sure how the fear began as we never utilized air travel when I was growing up. Perhaps it started to manifest as a child after only seeing airplanes mentioned on the news when they had crashed or encountered some other horrific tragedy. The origin doesn’t matter much as I have insisted that I’ve been afraid to fly for years! Today, I found myself reevaluating my fear of flying, and I had the revelation that flying is actually pretty cool, and I’m not truly afraid of it! After having this revelation, I thought of a few things that might help others to reevaluate fears in their lives:
We often mix up emotions. Have you ever mistaken anxious for excited? What about afraid for unknowledgeable?
Are you actually afraid, or is it a lie your brain has told you so much that you believe it?
What is a practical step you could take to conquering a fear?
A strong leader is someone who is willing to recognize their abilities may not be up to par any more and step aside so that someone more capable can take over the role. I can’t think of any better example of strong leadership than those who are willing to set their pride aside for the better of the group they are leading. This is the gist of my thoughts since President Biden decided to step down from the 2024 Presidential Election yesterday. While I know there people who are going to make negative comments because of their personal opinions, I believe that we can all learn from President Biden’s actions. We may not all be in charge of a country, but we all find ourselves involved with jobs, organizations, etc where we eventually realize that our leadership or fulfillment of duties is no longer up to par. The question then becomes, do you step aside and allow someone more able to take your place, or do you continue holding the position though you are inadequate?
If you opt to step aside, it tells me that you believe in the mission you had set out to achieve, and you want it to be obtained even if your name is no longer attached. Those who are willing to step aside recognize that their continued leadership could be more of a hindrance than a help. Additionally, be willing to step aside shows that the person who steps aside generally wants what is best for the people who are involved. On the flip side, is the leader who refuses to step aside even if they are being a detriment to the organization’s goals or mission. The image that immediately comes to mind when thinking about this kind of leader is a boat captain watching his ship go up in flames as opposed to grabbing a fire extinguisher! This is the kind of leader that cares more about having power than how their actions impact the group as a whole. When looking at it from these perspectives, then you would think it would make sense to be the first leader. But…
How many people have remained CEO after their decisions were no longer best for most involved?
How many people have continued with a club or organization after they no longer really cared?
How many people have continued to coach a team even when they were no longer effective?
It’s actually easier to keep pushing forward because it doesn’t involve admitting you are no longer the best for the job. Many of us have been taught that stepping aside is a sign of weakness, and that admitting we were not good at something is a sign of weakness. The reality is being willing to admit you’re the wrong fit shows strength as a leader!
So to all of those out there leading a team, I hope that you’re doing what’s best not just for you but for your whole organization!
There is no hesitation for me to say cats when answering this question! For as long as I can remember, someone in my immediately family has had at least one cat. Usually it was my grandfather, and he had two white cats (one long hair like the Fancy Feast cat) around the time I was 12 that solidified my love of kitties! They were the ones that lead to me begging to get my first cat of my own for Christmas 1995. One cat quickly turned to two when we a stray adopted us during a severe rainstorm! Fast forward to today, and we have four cats. Two we adopted from a shelter, and two we bottle fed after they were abandoned. I never dreamed that we would have four cats (briefly it was 5 until the 17 year old passed), but here we are!
To say that a lot has happened in the world in the last 48 hours feels like an immense understatement. I’ve seen a variety of posts since yesterday with various messages regarding the events, and I keep feeling like I’ve wanted to post something. However, a single social media post often doesn’t convey exactly what I want it to say. Plus, people tend to take single posts the wrong way or use them as an excuse to start arguments. To me starting arguments is the exact opposite of what the world needs right now. As I watched Mass this evening, there were four things that came to mind the world currently needs.
First and foremost, the world needs forgiveness. When you live in a world without forgiveness, hearts become hardened. Some people need to forgive others – perhaps a neighbor, friend, or family member for a wrongdoing. They may have committed it, the other party may of committed it, and one of the parties may not even know that the wrongdoing occurred. Yet the weight of the act carries hard on the heart, and the only way to move forward is through forgiving the person. Some people also may need to forgive themselves. Often times we are our own harshest critics, and people need to learn to forgive themselves for the mistakes they made. The person you are today is not the person you were five years ago. Forgive those mistakes so that you can pursue your best life and open up your heart to the blessings that you are meant to have in your life!
Forgiveness leads directly into the second thing the world needs: love. As human beings the greatest thing that we can do is love ALL of our fellow human beings. Now let me clarify something important. You can love someone and not like the choices that they make, the beliefs they hold, etc. There is a good chance that they are making the choices that they do because they don’t feel worthy of love due to some circumstance about which you have no knowledge or because they have never been encouraged to think for themselves. The best human beings to walk the earth have always found ways to love one another. These are the humans that have the greatest and longest lasting impact. I will always support people who lead with love over people who promote hate any day!
The other two things the world needs tie heavily into showing love to one another. First and foremost, the world needs people to be a voice for those who cannot have their voice heard. One of the most important things we can do is give a voice to those who society will not listen to be it because of their age, ability level, gender, socioeconomic background, etc. Giving a voice to them shows that you love people and want to see everyone receive care! While giving a voice to those in need, it is also important to remember that the world needs to not oppress people. If you are speaking words, creating rules/regulations/laws, demonstrating actions that actively prevent people from having equal rights and choices, then you are not loving them. You are dictating what they should and should not be allowed to do, and you are passing on judgment on them. In my book, there is only one who should pass judgment, and He’s not walking among us! Do you know what He does do? Encourage loving all people no matter their race, religion, gender, sexuality, background, etc!
This is a heavy message, but it’s been on my heart, so I wanted to share. To lighten the mood, I’ll quote Burt Bacharach, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just to little of. What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No not just for some, but for everyone.”
Whenever I am at a networking event, the question that is always asked is simple: “What do you do?” My first thought when I hear the question is usually some lyrics from the 2001 song by City High called “What Would You Do?” If you grew up in the 90s/00s you know the lyrics – “Boys and girls, wanna hear a true story? Saturday night was at this real wild party” – and iconic voice of Ryan Toby! After that quick thought, I usually give my quick answer, but then as my day continues, I tend to get really contemplative about the question: “What do you do?”
Sometimes I giggle and think the answer to “What do you do?” is clean a lot of poop and vomit. This answer is not glamourous and is not at all reflective of my entire day, but it’s what I tend to think after cleaning up after the Princess Cat with IBS and the Goofy Cat that gets way too many hairballs for being a short hair. Once I even laughed while doing this because I got to witness an ant literally eat shit and die. The reality is that cleaning up after animals is a very small portion of the day, but it does provide the grossest response and most comical considering there was a caricature made of me as a teenager scooping the litter box.
So what do I really do?
I suppose the best answer is a little bit of everything through a variety of channels!
Bring people joy and hope by offering skincare and glamour consultations and instruction (joy) and fundraising for community events (hope) through my MK business.
Publish! Being a published writer was one of my DREAMS for as long as I can remember. I started writing short stories in elementary school, and it has always been a sometime hobby of mine. Never in a million years would I have believed that the dream of seeing my work in print could become a reality. Then along came a super supportive husband – Mr Kisby – and the self publishing tool called Amazon KDP. Since August 2023, we’ve published 42 titles (some are lined notebooks). Even if we never make a dime, the creative process has been super fun and rewarding!!! thegreatkaysby.com/letters-lore
Teach/tutor others! Just because I left teaching doesn’t mean the desire to teach left me. I use my love of teaching to first and foremost homeschool LilKsby, but I also use it to tutor others online. I absolutely love helping people prep for the ACT, become better writers, and assist with College Application Essays! To me teaching skin care and glamour is even a form of using my joy of teaching. I will always find fulfillment in teaching others!
Volunteer and help those who need a voice to have one! I used to do this a lot more, but I realized that my over extending myself to help others was taking a toll on my home life. It can be very easy to neglect those you love – including yourself – when you put all of your energy into helping others. However, I have found that what you fill your cup first, you can give a lot more! You might even find creative ways to do so! One of my favorite organizations? Camp TESSA!
Listen to music from the 90s and 00s! There is no mood lifter for me greater than jamming out to boy bands and bubble gum pop. Currently listening to BSB and *NSYNC on loop! There is also something about listening to music live that is good for the soul. I cannot pinpoint exactly what it is, but when you can feel the rhythm coursing through your veins, it is life changing!
Re-watch shows/movies I’ve seen a million times! This one is because it is a comfort. Hearing familiar jokes, crying familiar tears over endings even when you know they’re coming, seeing your favorite faces who feel like your friends is comforting. Obviously, I know that Niles Crane isn’t real, but there’s something about the comedic portrayal by David Hyde Pierce that always makes me think that I know this guy, and I’m laughing with him and not at him!
Read! I believe that being an avid reader is a gift. Reading books opens up the doors to so many great things! You can immerse yourself in fantasy worlds, experience emotions that you never would have encountered, learn new skills, and make travel plans all from reading books. Libraries are one of the greatest assets that we have in the world!
Artsy Stuff! Typically I hate to use the word stuff; however, I don’t really know a better word to sum up all of the artsy things that I do. Sew? Check. Scrapbook? Check. Paint? Check. Draw/doodle? Check. Find creative ways to repurpose things? Check. I like to think of myself as Glue Gun Guru!
Be outside! Now, I don’t do this one as much as I should because I sweat and am chunky. However, there is something invigorating about hiking, gardening, kayaking, swimming, etc. It gets me in a great mental space! Even just walking outside for a few minutes at night to look at the starts is game changing.
Planning! I love to plan things! This is why at different times in my life I’ve thought that it would be cool to be an Event Planner or Travel Agent. (Especially this one if it means discounted travel. Remember this started as a food and travel blog!)
The reality is that I do a lot of different things even though sometimes I’m sure it appears that I just post on social media all day (usually it’s a clue that someone is sick, I’m on a long car ride and not driving, or doing an idle activity like watching TV because try as I might, I cannot only do one thing at a time typically).
Remember the days of classified ads in the newspaper? They would have “Help Wanted” in giant lettering followed by a quick job description. The descriptions were usually vague, but they gave enough info to tell you whether or not you should submit a resume or make a call. As time evolved and more jobs went to being listed online, the descriptions became more detailed. My favorite part was always “additional duties as needed” because that usually meant something you would never willingly want to do. However, those job descriptions at least gave people a detailed idea of what to except. Plus, anyone can lookup an online job description and have a general idea of what a person in a specific job does. Lately, I’ve been thinking about my job of Stay At Home Parent, and I’ve realized that many people have no idea just what all a stay at home parent does.
To the outside world, sometimes I believe people think that my life as a stay at home parent predominantly involves going fun places, posting a lot on social media, and playing all day. While we do go a lot of places, I can assure you that if I’m posting an abundant amount it means someone is sick, and I’m sitting and snuggling them all day. Also, while we play a lot, there is a lot of butting heads too especially since LilKsby seems to have both of mine and Mr Kisby’s stubbornness and sass. Thus, for the outside world, here’s a little “job description” of my life as a stay at home parent (note that each stay at home parents job will vary).
Skill Requirements – flexibility, patience, kindness, loving heart, ability to say I’m sorry, ability to forgive, playfulness, planner of trips/activities, and more!
Appointment Maker – includes but is not limited to scheduling doctors appointments, dental checkups, eye exams, playdates, home maintenance/repairs, car maintenance/repairs, special events, and services such as large item trash pickup. This duty requires some organizational skills and a good planner/calendar.
Household Tasks – includes but is not limited to vacuuming, sweeping, dishes, some laundry, some cooking, scooping poop (we have cats…no people are pooping on the floor), straightening rooms, cleaning out expired items, packing up items for donation/yard sale, ordering groceries, and preparing for vacations. This duty can be gross and requires much patience if you don’t like cleaning.
Chauffeur/Runner – includes but is not limited to driving people, pets, or vehicles to appointments, running errands, driving to Parent & Kid Groups, and driving to various activities. Having a good concept of where things are located with and without GPS is a necessity for this duty!
Caretaker – includes but is not limited to giving snuggles and hugs for boo boos, special care when a household member is sick, making sure wellness needs are met for people and pets, and ensuring people feel loved and appreciated. Knowing your family’s love languages helps.
Homeschool Teacher (this one may not be for everyone, but it is for us) – includes but is not limited to curriculum planning, implementing instructional time, researching best practices and methodologies, attending homeschool functions, assessing progress, and attending conventions to further your own abilities
In addition to the basic duties, I’ve also added to my stay at home parent plate by working independent contractor jobs from home. If you’re wondering how do I balance it all, here is the answer: I don’t. Some months I hardly touch the work from home part which can leave me scrambling near the end of month or coming up shorter than desired. However, when striving to live faith, family, career (which is 100% a constant work in progress because it can be HARD to put faith and family before personal career goals after spending 21 years in the workplace). Also, I’ve added the duty of gardener because I feel it is important for LilKsby to know how to grow his own vegetables (the flowers are because they are pretty). The biggest duty and one of the most difficult is finding just five minutes a day to do something for yourself. Like any other job, being a stay at home parent requires sacrifice. Many times you sacrifice the things you want to do for the benefit of others. However, it is important to never lose sight of doing things you enjoy. So take a few minutes to play that video game, read a book, watch TV, put together your adult Legos, write, pursue an artistic endeavor…do something that makes you who you were created to be!!!
So there you have it: a Stay at Home Parent Job description. Is it complete? Nope. Something will always get added. However, it does provide a glimpse of what all the job entails. To all the stay at home parents, you’re doing a great job!!!
Tonight concludes another trip around the sun! Usually I blog on my birthday about all the great things that have happened in the last year, but this year I’m feeling a little differently – more introspective – about my birthday. Per usual I did have a list of things that I wanted to accomplish in the year, and as per usual as circumstances changed, the list changed. In the end I accomplished 24 of the 40 on the list, and I had a lot of fun throughout the year. However, more important than the fun was the personal growth that I felt came with 40, so I want to share some of my personal growth tips from the last year.
Learn to set boundaries. If you don’t learn to establish boundaries, people will walk all over you. Also, while learning to set boundaries, understand that it is a process not instantaneous.
Learn to do one thing at a time. As much as we all like to multi-task, we can only be fully present with one thing at a time.
Learn to not let the comments people make bother you to the point that you can’t focus. This is hard, but it is important to learn to do in order to avoid driving yourself crazy.
Try something new or something you haven’t done in a long time. There’s a rush that goes with learning or re-trying a skill!
Put down the phone. Boy this is a hard one that I’m trying to improve upon so that my child doesn’t believe it’s necessary to have a phone in front of your nose. When you put down the phone, you will realize how much stress being on it can cause you.
Schedules are not a bad thing. This is a struggle for me because I like to think I’m fun and do things on the fly, but the truth is that I achieve more and get more joy (because of not rushing) when things are scheduled. Plus, I love having things on the calendar to look forward to doing!
Dance like no one is watching! It’s fun!
Sing your heart out! It’s okay if you’re still belting out all of your favorite 90’s and 00’s songs!
Take one on one time with people. It allows you to connect with them on a deeper level and strengthens relationships.
Coffee, tea, and water are the best drinks on the planet! Water might be the most important, but the other two are right up there!
If you want to see change in the world, start by making a small change yourself. It’s really easy to complain about how hateful everyone in the world is, but by modeling kindness to others, you can be part of the solution.
Read a book or listen to an audiobook! There is power in the written word!
Find faith in something. For me it is God; for you it could be a blueberry muffin. I’m not going to judge what you put your faith into, but I can assure you that it is better to have faith in something than not at all.
Get outside! There is healing in nature!
Plan a trip! Then go on that trip. The world is big, and you deserve to see more than the little slice where you reside.
Purging material items that you don’t need is cathartic especially if you find a way to donate or reuse it instead of filling a landfill.
It’s okay to not believe the same things as previous generations. You’re a different person; therefore, it is okay for your viewpoints to be different.
If you influence children, teach them to actually learn things for themselves instead of believing everything they are told.
Stop believing that everything on the Internet or Social Media is true! If you see something that you’re unsure about its validity, do some research before you repost it.
Be proud of the things you have accomplished! They make you special and wonderful! Having a hard time with this? Take 10 minutes and list some of your greatest accomplishments.
Play with Legos. In fact, if you’re an adult, just find ways to play. Having fun will make your life better!
You’re never too old to look the way you want. Have blue hair! Get a nose ring! Do your thing!!!
Follow your dreams! I had always dreamed of writing and publishing, and now Mr Kisby and I have a little thing called Letters & Lore! It’s connected to this page!
Send handwritten notes to people. It takes more effort than a text or FB post, and it shows that you care.
Learn to stop comparing yourself to others. This is super hard and a work in progress, but I can assure you that if you accept who you are, you can achieve greatness!
Eat Zaxby’s. You can thank me later.
Don’t be afraid to try new things. Change might be scary, but it can also be amazing!
Do something you’ve been afraid to try. For me it was getting back on an airplane, but I had the best time last July, and I feel like I became a better person for it. Plus, it helps teach LilKsby to not be afraid.
Walk, run, jog, whatever…just get moving.
Life is short. Eat cake. Then go back to number 29.
It’s okay to stop doing things you no longer enjoy. Set it aside, and you may find that you like it if you try it again down the road.
Tell people your dreams.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help shows strength not weakness.
Relax during the holidays. Don’t get stressed out by trying to make them perfect. Enjoy them.
Unless you have a legit good reason, don’t say “no” to social invitations.
Make sure your cup is full so that you can pour into others.
Get a massage. It’s okay if you start laughing because you’re ticklish.
Always re-evaluate your goals in life. You’ll get further by allowing yourself to change.
Watch a favorite show again especially if you need a laugh!
Don’t wish time away. You can’t get it back.
That’s a lot of tips! I’ve learned a lot at 40, and I am 100% that 41 is going to be even more exciting and freeing! Much love my friends!
Birds are singing, flowers are blooming, and trees are blossoming with new life! We’ve been waiting for it for what feels like forever even though in reality it was a few weeks, and now Spring is finally here! If you’re like me and thinking what to do this Spring, then this Top 10 list is for you! Presenting…10 Things To Try This Spring!
Take a walk around where you live. This may sound basic but Spring is a great time to see what has changed since you were last able to go for walks in the Summer or Fall. The walk will be relaxing because it is in a familiar setting, and you also might get some inspiration for outside your own home!
Look up a trail nearby that you’ve never hiked and hike it! I love to hike on trails in the Spring and Fall. Of course you have to understand that in Summer, I sweat like it is nobody’s business just walking out the door. So the weather in Spring and Fall makes for my perfect hiking climate. I like to hike in the Spring because you get to see all of the life returning to nature. Plus, it’s usually cool up into the day during the Spring which again prevents sweating!
Splash in some mud puddles! If you live somewhere that it rains a decent amount, go outside after it is finished (or when it is raining) and splash through some puddles. You’re going to get wet, but your shoes will dry, and you can change your socks. There’s a childlike joy that comes with splashing in puddles, and we can all use a little childlike joy.
Go for a country drive! I know gas is pricey, but think about it in comparison to buying a bunch of tickets for something. With that perspective the price isn’t so bad! Since I grew up in the middle of nowhere, I’ve always found country drives on winding roads that are surrounded by fields to be relaxing. Plus, there is something so soothing about having the windows down and jamming out to the radio!
Checkout a State Park! I can’t speak for every state, but where I live there is a great state park system. Most of these have a variety of activities, and typically one can be found relatively close to home. We love to walk along the water and hunt for fossils if the water is down, and we also enjoy relaxing in a cabin.
Plant flowers! I love planting flowers! They instantly beautify your surroundings and perk up your mood. Plus, there are great health benefits when you have house plants. I’ve got my little indoor garden in my office, and it frequently perks me up!
Declutter! Spring cleaning is not fun when you think of it in terms of dusting, washing baseboards, shampooing carpets, etc. However, decluttering can be a lot of fun! There is something refreshing and rewarding about getting rid of items you no longer need and passing them on to someone who can use them!
Plan for the future! What better time to rethink your dream vision of your future than Spring when new life is all around you? Make lists of trips you’d like to take, foods you would like to try, movies you want to see, etc. Anything can be on your list, and don’t be afraid to dream big!!!
Reconnect with people! Do you ever find yourself thinking that you wish you talked to someone more? Reach out to them! Send them a “I was thinking about you, I hope you’re doing well.” It doesn’t have to be a big connection, but it will most likely make them feel important.
Try something new for your health. This can be exercising more, getting a long over do checkup, treating yourself to a massage, changing your eating habits, drinking more water, etc. Improving your health is the key to getting to do everything else on your list!
What would be on your list of 10 Things To Try This Spring?
F Scott Fitzgerald famously had his character Jay Gatsby say, “Can’t repeat the past? Why of course you can. Of course you can!” As anyone who has read The Great Gatsby knows, you can’t repeat the past, and if you live permanently trying to recreate the past, then it is never going to work out as planned. That said, you can’t repeat the past, but you can revisit things you used to enjoy immensely!
Many moons ago, I was involved in a little game called Amtgard. The easiest way to describe it to those not involved is Medieval Reenactment. I met my husband and a lot of my adulthood friends through this game (though some of us were teenagers when we met), and though I still chat with some of the friends, I don’t see them every week like I once did. There was a point in our lives when we were involved with this game multiple times a week, then it dwindled down to a handful of times a year, and eventually we stopped participating approximately seven years ago.
Enter this weekend.
A couple of our friends – one of the most wonderful couples you will ever encounter – were getting knighted which is the pinnacle of achievement in the game of Amtgard. These are friends that we have kept in contact with over the years and occasionally see, so when they told us they were going to be getting knighted, we wanted to be there for it. Leading up to the weekend, we were excited, but we had no idea what to expect. We had no idea if we would see people we know, if we would feel out of place, or if the game would be so different that we wouldn’t recognize because as we know, “You can’t repeat the past.”
Turns out you can’t repeat the past, but you can still revisit the things you have to do and discover that it is an enjoyable experience! Much to our surprise, as soon as we walked over to the event area, we saw people that we knew from seven plus years ago, and we were welcomed with hugs and “How are you? It’s been too long!” It felt heartwarming to be made to feel wanted and missed. As we caught up with friends, walked around the site, and chowed down on some delicious food truck selections, we fit right in with everything else happening. Imagine being just another piece of a puzzle that clicks right in with the whole and adds to the picture. It felt familiar, relaxing, and most importantly fun! Side note, I think a lot of adults need to remember how to have fun!!!
So was the game different? Yes, it was. However, from what we observed in our short time there, it seemed as though the changes were for the good. Like why was I never given a Reeve Stick when I was Reeving all the time? The answer is probably because I would have smacked someone with it if they got too close to me! Also, I remember we used to always not enjoy Court, but this time it was so much fun and so much thought went into the creation of the awards. Seeing the progress was great!
That said, I want to write all this down because I think it is important for me to remember this feeling. While you can’t repeat the past, you can still find joy in the things your previously loved, and you can consider doing them more frequently than every seven years!
It’s been a minute since I took time to write a blog. There are several times in the last few weeks that I have considered writing. Many times when I considered writing, it was fueled by desire to express my feelings about something happening in the world, an ignorant comment seen on social media, or a passive aggressive and semi condescending tone of something said or posted. In those moments when I wanted to write, I was fiery, and I decided against writing no matter how good the blog sounded in my head. Why? Because if I had made those posts, then I would have been doing a thing that I dislike: falling for a trap.
Oftentimes I believe that people say certain things, make posts, etc in an attempt to get people fired up and arguing. Somewhere along the way, what were once topics of friendly debate have now become bait for starting arguments that have set friends and family against one another. There are times when I think the person doesn’t even believe what they are posting, yet they still post it just attempting to start a fight. It’s almost as though they get some sort of dopamine rush from making people upset. I get why people find themselves wanting to argue against ignorance, but when you fall into the trap of ignorance often you’re just hurting yourself as your point won’t be received.
Avoiding the trap can be hard, and I will say that there is a time for voicing one’s opinion. If you’re opinion defends someone who doesn’t have a voice, then by all means shout it from the proverbial rooftops. When feeling the need to say voice your opinion, here are somethings I would recommend considering:
Are your words coming from a place of emotion or reason? Remember that you can catch a lot more flies with honey than vinegar! If you’re from the south, this is where the phrase “Bless your heart” can come into play!
Are your words really something you believe, or are you just retaliating? How often does your brain tell you something that you don’t believe whatsoever? In the heat of the moment, it can be so easy to spout off at the mouth, but here’s a secret. Once you say something, it cannot be undone. This is something I find myself working to correct as my mouth can be faster than my brain. Guess what? Even if forgiveness is granted, that doesn’t mean people forget what you said.
Are your words something that you would want your kids to believe? Trust me from experience. Even if you don’t think your child is listening, they are picking up on the words you throw down. Eventually if they hear it enough, then they will start believing it.
Is starting a discussion with the person worth your time or the energy it will drain from you? Time and energy are limited resources. Do you really want to waste yours on something that doesn’t really matter, or do you want to look back at your day and fill accomplished and fulfilled?
Is making a comment really going to be beneficial to you and the other person, or could saying it damage your relationship? Relationships with people are fragile, and they way we say things can intentionally or unintentionally hurt them. I remember my grandmother once saying that I needed bangs because my forehead is big. I’m sure she didn’t really mean anything by it, but I still find myself thinking sometimes that my forehead is too big even though I’m pretty sure it is normal size.
Since it’s been a minute for me, I hope that it has also been a minute for you as it means you’re excelling at only responding when it matters and not getting trapped in an argument!
I love practicing yoga! Tonight I experienced an exceptionally relaxing class because instead of listening to an instrumental mediation, we jammed to 90’s Rock. For me this music was a more relaxing and mind soothing choice because that was the music that put me to sleep each night growing up. In fact, I spent the shavasana portion on my stomach with my arms crossed under my head remembering how I fell asleep most nights circa 2000. Since that yoga class, I keep having more and more 90’s songs pop in my head. One song in particular – Silk E Fyne’s “Romeo and Juliet” – got me thinking about the types of things people say as they get older that are fundamentally wrong when you get to thinking deeper. Based on that, I started thinking about a couple of things philosophically. Ready for it?
“When we were younger, they didn’t just talk about things like sex in songs, they only implied it.” – WRONG – Where to start busting this myth? When I was 16, we had Ludacris asking all of us “What’s Your Fantasy?” and pretty much providing a list of off the wall places to have sex with some instructions. Before Ludacris, Meatloaf had started introducing people to vehicular activities back in the 70s with “Paradise By the Dashboard Light” that left nothing to the imagination.
“We didn’t have these issues when I was younger.” WRONG – It was not that long ago that many “issues” were swept under the rug so to speak. Less than a hundred years ago, people were still sending off family members with disabilities to institutions so that they didn’t have to take care of them. Likewise, it’s only been a few decades since teenage girls who got pregnant were sent to “take care of a sick aunt” for several months. A word to the wise? Ignoring an issue doesn’t mean that it didn’t exist. This is a lesson that can still be utilized!
There are several other examples swirling through my brain, but the gist is this: oftentimes, people will think that the past was better, more innocent, etc than it really was because they forget the negatives. Forgetting the bad makes it really easy to think that life was better in a previous time, but the bottom line is that on many levels the issues are the same.
The Great Kaysby 