family – The Great Kaysby

#BeautyShared

My first memories of beauty go way back to when I was about 4. My mom put my hair in sponge rollers because we were going to the dinner theatre that night to see Big River. I still remember their incredible costumes (and the delicious food)! A few years later, I started playing in my mom’s makeup. Somewhere there is a picture of me dressed up in my mom’s clothes and makeup and my blonde wig holding a bottle of root beer like a model. That picture was hilarious then, and I’m sure I would still find it hilarious now.

At some point my shared beauty began involving Mary Kay. I think I was around 12. It started with going to a neighbor’s holiday open house with my mom. My senior year that same consultant walked me through makeup application for my senior prom. That #BeautyShared experience happened with my best friend! That’s where I learned to wear something that buttons or zips when getting makeup and hair done for an event. I wore my Dad’s shirt. Great times!

Other great times that involve sharing Beauty? I always loved that one of my grandmas said, “A lady never leaves the house without her lipstick.” She kept a lipstick by the back door, and there was a little mirror next to it. She would always put it on as we left. Of course there was also a matching lipstick in her purse, and she would ask “How’s my lipstick?” after eating.

My other grandma also wore lipstick, but she also shared with me the value of taking care of your skin. She faithfully used TimeWise skin care, and she would show her skin care routine to all her home health workers. She would also write the dates she started using a product on the box so she could tell visitors how long her Mary Kay lasted. When she passed at nearly 90, she didn’t look over 70. Impeccable skin care for the win!#BeautyShared is acknowledging that I kept some of their beauty products after they passed, and I’ll always keep them in a treasure box. Sometimes I also wear Bella Belara because it reminds me of my grandma.

Over the last 20 years, I have been able to share my love of skin care and glamour with more family, friends, and clients than I can count. I often share stories at those appointments, and I find that others can frequently relate to them. It creates connections and fosters community, and I think that’s the most important part of #BeautyShared.

Congratulations to Mary Kay on a beautiful, touching, thoughtful, and inspiring campaign!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

But I Want It!

Photo by Du039bVu039e Gu039bRCIu039b on Pexels.com

10:44 at night and I find myself thinking about sushi. Makes me think that maybe I shouldn’t have already declared tomorrow an “at home day.” It would be so fun to have a sushi lunch! Maybe a bento box with it… If not tomorrow, then what about the next day? I start to think things like maybe sushi after church on Thursday morning would be good. After all, I’ll already be out. It’s just 30 minutes in the wrong direction to get sushi.

I’ll sleep on it.

Spoiler, I’m 95% most likely not going to get sushi either day.

It’s not that I don’t really want the sushi. Trust me, if there is an opportunity to eat sushi, I’m going to have at least a Tuna Roll. Perhaps even a California Roll, Cucumber Roll, or Thai Roll too! But I don’t need the sushi.

If we are always giving into our wants – like if we really go get sushi each time we want it – what are we illustrating about our willpower and want versus need to our children? Mr Kisby and I have really been attempting to stress to LilKsby the importance of whether a want for something is fleeting (aka forgotten by morning) or an actual want that is worth waiting for. We’ve tried to stress this to him when it comes to things like picking out toys and food to eat (especially going out versus staying in). What we’ve found is that often times the things we want are only wants for a brief time period. Then after we get it we find ourselves thinking “Why did we put money, time, energy, effort, etc into said item?”

With LilKsby we often discuss how much joy something will bring him along with a need versus a want. Oftentimes when I talk about these things with him, I reflect on my own things that I sometimes mislabel as a need like the sushi. Like I tell him, I need water, food (see maybe I do need sushi), oxygen, shelter, clothes, exercise, and good hygiene. Pretty much everything else is a want. Of course wants have their place! If someone offered me a legit free trip to the Bahamas just because I don’t need it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t go. Plus wanting things gives us goals, and our wants don’t have to be materialistic. For example, this month I want to complete a Digital Marketing course to help improve our businesses. I also want to be able to do 15 in-person skin care consults. These wants are not bad at all, and they have the possibility to be way more beneficial than wanting something like a box of crayons when I already have some!

Like anything with parenting, discussing wants versus needs is a work in progress. It also takes a lot of strength because I believe all of us would 100% get everything our kids ever asked for if it possible and reasonable. No offense, I’m never buying LilKsby his own pony. I barely like scooping cat litter. I am not cleaning pony poop!

11:00…maybe I should go to bed and see if I still want sushi in the morning!

XOXO,
The Great Kaysby

My Best Is My Best

As I was reading a book on homeschooling today (BTW if you’re new to this blog, you’re going to learn that I read a lot), I was reminded of how thankful I am that my parents never stressed that I had to get all A’s when I was in school. One of the first things that the author mentioned was how her parents expected (and did not tolerate anything lower than) A’s when she was in school. She then discussed all of the negative mental and physical impacts that this had on her. Reading this made me very grateful that my parents always understood that MY best is My Best. They knew that I always tried my hardest in all of my classes, and they were okay with whatever grades I brought home given that I had truly tried. For me this frequently meant bringing home B’s especially in math. I’ve always said that I was great at math up until Algebra I. It was all downhill from there (which is why I also recognize that when we get to higher math my homeschooled child will need help from Mr. Kisby). I graduated high school with a 3.75, and that was my best. Guess what? I still got into good colleges, and my parents were pleased as punch. Plus, I didn’t have any negative mental or physical effects from overstressing about grades.

The philosophy of my parents has also been evident in our homeschooling. Since LilKsby was 3 in Homeschool Pre-K, he would get asked if he was making all A’s. First of all, I feel like that is a really weird question to ask 3 year-old. No reason to start making them stress over a letter on a paper before they can read! Secondly, I would always explain that I don’t give him letter grades. I look for if he is learning a subject or if he’s mastered it. That simple. It’s a great no pressure way to determine if he needs extra assistance with something without giving him a complex about a red letter on a paper (side note, when I taught in public school, I tried not to use red pens just because I feel like they give a complex). As long as he’s doing his best, I’m pleased.

On a different note, I like that the doing my best mindset has been something that can be adaptable to the illusive “real life” where as when you go to apply for a job no one really cares what your GPA was. There’s a lot that can be learned for encouraging people to do their best and not just making them focus on an end result. Also, it is a lot more important to know how to learn as opposed to just being able to memorize and regurgitate information. True story.

Did you do your best, or did you chase the 4.0?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Resilience

As I was reflecting over another year around the sun, one word came to mind: resilience. Last year, exactly one week after my birthday, the crushing blows to our “normal” existence began. Our lives quickly started to feel like a country song, and the title would have been “Everything Gets F’ed Up On a Thursday.”

With everything happening, it would have been super easy to put all life goals on hold. It would have been super easy to wallow in self pity and do nothing. However, in life you have two choices when things are not going well. One, you can do nothing. Two, you can exhibit bounce back ability!

Through a lot of prayer, tears, emotional roller coasters, and open discussion as a family, we chose bounce back ability. Was it easy? No. Was it worth it? YES! Did we learn from it? ABSOLUTELY! Were there days when it was hard? Of course there were!

But we persevered, and now almost a year later, I can say…

We can survive the storm because we have each other.
My faith is stronger.
My drive and resolve to be successful are stronger.
Even on tough days (because let’s be real, some days I still miss my cat terribly!), I can do one thing to move forward.
I have learned to focus on what I can and cannot control.

As I start this next year, I’m not going to say it’s going to be all sunshine and rainbows. I can’t know what the future will bring, but I can know that I’ve learned resilience.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

February Fireworks

The other day, LilKsby and I were over at my parents’ house, and one of the things we did was light fireworks in February. The ones we used were nothing big – just some poppers, smoke bombs, snakes, and spinners – and were nothing that required waiting until dark. It was seventy degrees and sunny between rain storms which was a welcome juxtaposition to most of the weather we’ve had lately. We laughed and laughed as we lit fireworks. It was perfect fun!

After the experience, I got to thinking, “What if doing things just for fun, like February fireworks, even if it’s ‘not the season’ became the norm?” Yearning to dye eggs in September? Go for it! Want to create Christmas crafts in June? Go for it! Want to eat “Holiday Foods” in May? Go for it! Life is too short to not do fun things just because “it’s not the season”!

So my challenge to you as you plan the upcoming week is for you to include something fun. Even if it is completely out of season, do it anyway! The fun it will bring is worth it!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

With Infinite Time, I Could…

Daily writing prompt

What could you do more of?

View all responses

Everyone has the same number of minutes in a day: 1,440. The way those minutes are spent varies from person to person, but one thing always seems to remain constant. There never seems to be enough time in the day for everything that a person wants to do. However, with infinite time, I could think of a few things I would do more!

Paint – I love painting, but when I sit down to do it, I want at least two solid hours of painting time.
Scrapbooking – I love looking at pictures and making precious pages of our best memories. I also enjoy scrapbook competitions!
Writing – Really working on doing this more. I really want to finish my second non-fiction book soon, and the topic seems very pertinent.
Video Games – Since I was five, I have loved playing video games. I will 100% own up to the being that adult who loves to game.
Puzzles – I love compelting puzzles! Once I start one, I become hooked on completing it. We have stayed up until 3 in the morning completing puzzles before!
Traveling – I love to travel! If time (and money) were infinite, this is where I would be.
Sewing – I love to sew, but again I need bigger time blocks to do it!
Exercise – I would love to spend more time walking, doing yoga, and swimming!
Working – I work what most would consider “side hustles” and more time (and energy) would be great for these!
Studying – I love learning! With more time, I would take a lot more free courses online or watch more instructional videos.
Improve my piano skills and learn guitar!

It’s hard to work all of these into your schedule when you also homeschool and enjoy being involved in community activities! Maybe I should give up sleep, LOL!

What would you like to do more?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Words of Wisdom From a “Cool Aunt”

At this point in my life, I have had nearly twenty years of experience as an aunt either from being a chosen aunt to my friend’s kids or to those I am actually related because of Mr. Kisby. I’ve always fancied myself a “Cool Aunt” with my fake nose ring (one day it will be real), tendency to draw on myself, hobbies that many consider to be “teenage things,” love of a variety of music from multiple decades including today, and willingness to take the kids to do cool stuff. As someone who had a “Cool Aunt,” I always wanted to be one, so I’ve tried to do my best! However, now that some of my nieces and nephews are becoming young adults, I also want to be the aunt that shares some life advice that isn’t typically learned as part of a diploma pathway in high school or as part of a degree program in college. So here goes…

It is okay to not know what you want to do at 18, 21, 29, 39, or older. Yes, there are some people who know what they want to do from the time they are small, and their dream never changes. However, some of us are still learning even in are 40s. At one time, I wanted to be an actress. I even spent two years of college pursuing that dream before realizing that starving artist really doesn’t sound like a fun career choice to me. Then I wanted to be a business something that required not one but two business degrees. Then I ended up getting a Masters in Teaching. A long the way I also thought it would be cool to be a bar tender, writer, yoga instructor, barista, blogger, and life coach. Of those I only ever pursued writing and blogging, but sometimes I think others would be cool. I kind of just want to have a bar tending licence much like I’ve always wanted a motorcycle license even though I don’t actually want to drive a motorcycle. Guess what I currently do that I never would have dreamed about it my teens or 20s? I want to – and thank the good Lord I get to – be a homeschooling mama who works a few flexible contractor jobs for a little extra moo-lah. The point? It’s 100% okay if what your dream is changes!

There is never a perfect time for anything. If you spend your life waiting for the time to be right, then you are going to either (a) miss out on a lot of cool things while you’re waiting for perfection or (b) never do what you wanted to do. I first heard this lesson from a former co-worker who said “If you wait for the perfect time to have kids, then you’ll never have kids.” I think this sentiment is applicable to a lot of things, and I loved it because we spend so much time hearing “wait for the right time” or “it’s not the right time.” In practice this means try not to say things like “I’ll do X, Y, Z when I finish school” or “I’ll do X, Y, Z when I have a house.” Instead consider if you really want to do the thing in question, or if you know you want the thing, start planning how you can make it happen. Obviously, there are some things that have to wait for some timing. For example, “When I have been at a job for one year and saved money, I will buy a car” and “When I have $5,000, I will be able to rent an apartment, turn on utilities, and buy the basic necessities for a first apartment.” These are logical because one helps get the other. Just keep in mind there is a difference in things taking time and planning and waiting for the perfect moment.

It’s okay if your first big love isn’t your forever romance, and it’s okay if your first big love is your forever romance. Some people are lucky enough to meet the one they are meant to be with at a young age and have it all work out. Some of us don’t meet and date the one we are meant to be with until the second, third, or more relationship. It is okay to be one of these people too. The important part is finding a partner who you have common interests with that you will love just as much in your 70s as you did in your 20s or 30s. I’ve now loved Mr Kisby through three different age decades, and I can tell you with him I hit the jackpot! It took a broken road to get there, but as Rascal Flatts once said, “God blessed the broken road, that led me straight to you.” Along with common interests, it helps abundantly to find someone with similar religious/spiritual beliefs, a similar moral compass, and life goals. It also helps if your partner is someone you like along with loving them. Also, if your grandma doesn’t like your partner, take it has a hint and dump them. Grandmas are smart.

Have fun in life! Yes, being an “adult” is stressful, hard work, and involves a lot of boring things like paying bills, cleaning house, and having to make smart decisions liking eating at home versus going to fast food every night (which could lead to stomach issues so make sure your “adult” job as health insurance). However, you still have to find time to play. If you quit doing things that you find fun, then you’re missing out on a lot of good times. I’m an “adult” with several years of experience, but I still play video games, do stuff outside, chase my kid around, read books, color, paint, go on dates with my hubby, watch TV, sew, and hangout with friends occassionally. Doing those fun things are what keep you sane. Some of my best advice is to do one fun thing a day even if it’s just for five minutes. If you’ve got a lot of shit going on, set a timer on your phone for five minutes and until it goes off do something just for fun even if it’s just jamming out at max volume. Your mental and emotional health will thank you for having fun!

Last but not least, who you are as a person is 100% unique to you. As a kid you are often told what is right and wrong, what you should believe, etc. I can tell you from experience that it is okay if those things change for you as you grow. There are things that I thought were black and white issues. Now I can tell you that a lot of times there are gray areas, but that is because I have made a point of educating myself or have personally experienced the gray areas. You should do the same. Likewise, it is okay to recognize that something that was once commonplace is now offensive and to opt to change your perspective. I can also tell you for me personally, my faith in the Holy Trinity is a lot stronger now because of an almost decade long span where I didn’t attend church, pray, or really think about Jesus. But in the end, I found my way back, and having all those life experiences has made my faith stronger. It’s okay if the same has to happen with you. Likewise, it is okay to have been brought up with no spiritual/religious background and want to learn more about your options. It’s also okay to be steadfast in what you believe and never stray. No matter your story, you will end up where you’re supposed to be as long as you keep moving forward.

I could keep going, but man that’s a lot! And I know from experience that too much advice just goes in one ear and out the year because most of us don’t believe things until we experience them. Plus, a lot of us have the attention span of a goldfish, so some people may not have even read this far. This is a long post for me! Take it or leave it, those are all my words of wisdom as a “cool aunt.”

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

A Ray of Sonlight – Updated April 2025

Photo from Our First Sonlight Unboxing Day

Twas the night before Homeschool Semester two, and I could have panicked about planning but had nothing to do.

How could I be so relaxed for the next day? Because the Sonlight curriculum outlined much of the way!

Based mostly around books and reading to my son, it didn’t matter that ice and snow threatened to make the power not on!

Full disclosure, when we started looking at curriculums for homeschool Kindergarten, Sonlight was not on my radar whatsoever. In fact, when Mr Kisby and I attended a homeschool convention last April, we didn’t stop at their booth. We left with no Sonlight material sure that we wouldn’t be using them. However, fast forward to June, and I still was uncertain about what we were going to use. Somehow I got an ad from Sonlight about a FREE (my favorite price) virtual homeschool summit they were doing, and all attendees would get a coupon plus one lucky attendee (it wasn’t me) would win a full curriculum package! Free and winning are two of my favs plus the days of the summit we were traveling, and I needed something to pass the time, so I signed up!

Going into the summit, I wasn’t expecting to be blown away. I thought I would hear some of the same information that I’d heard at other free homeschool summits. Boy was I wrong! I was immediately impressed by the concept of using read alouds as a way of teaching! Essentially fiction and non-fiction books are used to teach concepts across various curricula areas. Secondly, I loved that people who worked for, but mote importantly used, Sonlight were answering my questions immediately. I assure you I had a lot of questions, and they were on the ball! As a parent, one of the things I was most impressed by was their free instructor guide sample which included a delightful chapter book. Additionally, I was impressed that they had free assessments to see what materials were most appropriate for your child. This had been a concern as I had no idea of where to begin for sure. After our free sample came, a few assessments, and several more questions with an advisor, we became a Sonlight family!

Now that we’re a semester in, how do I know that Sonlight is working for LilKsby? My readers know I love a good Top Ten list, so drum roll please!!!

For Christmas LilKsby asked for additional books from two series that were started as part of our read alouds: Heartwood Hotel and Humphrey. He even insisted we start reading the second Heartwood Hotel book during our break!
He brings up things from our read alouds in conversation. For example, he tells people about how the Ancient Greeks and Egyptians would eat lying down. He talks about the Vikings and what it would be like to live in a longhouse!
A couple months after reading some of the books, he recalls things that happened in them and can recall the names of characters.
He enjoys learning a scripture each week and discussing what it means. To go with this, we’ve started keeping a journal where we write the verse and our thoughts about it. This has been a fun way to bond over the Word!
He loves the big map and looking at where locations from our read alouds are. We’ve also used the map to make comparisons to where we are relative to book locations!
LilKsby likes the timeline book (though sometimes he just wants to play with the stickers instead of putting them in) and seeing how far apart events are. He’s always especially curious to see how far things are from Noah. He also likes that we’ve included notes from things we’ve learned from our field trips, music appreciation, art history, and poetry studies in our timeline book!
LilKsby likes that the curriculum doesn’t force him to do a lot of his least favorite thing: handwriting. It has him do just enough to show that he’s learning the basics without it feeling like a chore.
LilKsby enjoys the narration days in the Language Arts curriculum. We’ve started a notebook just of our narrations, and he’s even willing to do extra narrations as he enjoys storytelling. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed hearing things from his perspective!
LilKsby loves the Book of Living Long Ago and has been fascinated by ancient civilizations. He’s intrigued by the differences and similarities to today, and he enjoyed some of the hands on activities!
He looks forward to school (though he will say he doesn’t), and I believe it has a lot to do with the books! He’s loved reading since he was a baby, so the fact that our curriculum is centered around reading is kind of magical!

Bonus to LilKsby’s Top Ten? As a parent, I’ve enjoyed the support of the Sonlight app. I can ask questions any time, and I get answers from other parents as well as Sonlight advisors!

So as you can see, thanks to Sonlight, I’m relaxed and excited to continue our homeschool year. In fact, as I lay in bed typing this and listening to the ice storm, I’m giddy about tomorrow even if we have to do our readlouds by candlelight!

Since first writing this blog, I have become a Sonlight affiliate. To learn more about all of the great things that Sonlight has to offer click here. This is an affiliate link, and I may be compensated for any purchases made.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Heart School

When we began homeschooling, I knew that I wanted to teach our child a variety of topics: reading, math, music, art, writing, drama, poetry, history, science, Catholic life, etc. What I didn’t know at the time is how much I would love teaching LilKsby lessons of the heart. Throughout our Kindergarten year, we have had the opportunity to dig into different emotions and life lessons using literature (side note…I love our Literature Based Curriculum with Sonlight), field trips, and friendships. It’s like instead of homeschool, we have heart school.

What do I mean? Instead of just learning the academics (which he is), he is learning things like how to help the hungry, ways to give to those who may not have necessities, and how to interact with ALL (capitalized for emphasis) people. He’s learning how to make people feel important; he’s learning to show love to everyone (always doing it is a different work in progress). He also understands why things like putting someone in a hole because of their beliefs is wrong, and he likes to have conversations about why people would do this or other bad things. Sometimes when we are having these heart school moments, I forget that I’m talking to someone in Kindergarten! It’s also these moments that remind of why exactly we are on our heart school journey!

I know that everyone begins a homeschool journey for different reasons. Some of them are positive, some of them are negative, and some are in between. However, no matter the journey, most have one thing in common: parents wanting what is best for their children. This is a very personalized answer that also has to come from the heart. For us, we wanted to raise a child by our priorities and what we feel to be the most important aspects of personal growth. If you know us, then you know that means a lot of heart lessons (and caffiene)!

If you have ever considered homeschooling, or you have questions about it, I encourage you to reachout to someone in your community who is doing it. Questions about curriculum? I highly recommend checking out Sonlight by clicking here (this is an affiliate link, and I may receive compensation for purchases made using it) and trying their literacy based curriculum. I wouldn’t recommend it if we didn’t love it! I hope that you are able to have the heart school your family needs!

XOXO,
The Great Kaysby

Help Wanted: Stay At Home Parent

Remember the days of classified ads in the newspaper? They would have “Help Wanted” in giant lettering followed by a quick job description. The descriptions were usually vague, but they gave enough info to tell you whether or not you should submit a resume or make a call. As time evolved and more jobs went to being listed online, the descriptions became more detailed. My favorite part was always “additional duties as needed” because that usually meant something you would never willingly want to do. However, those job descriptions at least gave people a detailed idea of what to except. Plus, anyone can lookup an online job description and have a general idea of what a person in a specific job does. Lately, I’ve been thinking about my job of Stay At Home Parent, and I’ve realized that many people have no idea just what all a stay at home parent does.

To the outside world, sometimes I believe people think that my life as a stay at home parent predominantly involves going fun places, posting a lot on social media, and playing all day. While we do go a lot of places, I can assure you that if I’m posting an abundant amount it means someone is sick, and I’m sitting and snuggling them all day. Also, while we play a lot, there is a lot of butting heads too especially since LilKsby seems to have both of mine and Mr Kisby’s stubbornness and sass. Thus, for the outside world, here’s a little “job description” of my life as a stay at home parent (note that each stay at home parents job will vary).

Skill Requirements – flexibility, patience, kindness, loving heart, ability to say I’m sorry, ability to forgive, playfulness, planner of trips/activities, and more!
Appointment Maker – includes but is not limited to scheduling doctors appointments, dental checkups, eye exams, playdates, home maintenance/repairs, car maintenance/repairs, special events, and services such as large item trash pickup. This duty requires some organizational skills and a good planner/calendar.
Household Tasks – includes but is not limited to vacuuming, sweeping, dishes, some laundry, some cooking, scooping poop (we have cats…no people are pooping on the floor), straightening rooms, cleaning out expired items, packing up items for donation/yard sale, ordering groceries, and preparing for vacations. This duty can be gross and requires much patience if you don’t like cleaning.
Chauffeur/Runner – includes but is not limited to driving people, pets, or vehicles to appointments, running errands, driving to Parent & Kid Groups, and driving to various activities. Having a good concept of where things are located with and without GPS is a necessity for this duty!
Caretaker – includes but is not limited to giving snuggles and hugs for boo boos, special care when a household member is sick, making sure wellness needs are met for people and pets, and ensuring people feel loved and appreciated. Knowing your family’s love languages helps.
Homeschool Teacher (this one may not be for everyone, but it is for us) – includes but is not limited to curriculum planning, implementing instructional time, researching best practices and methodologies, attending homeschool functions, assessing progress, and attending conventions to further your own abilities

In addition to the basic duties, I’ve also added to my stay at home parent plate by working independent contractor jobs from home. If you’re wondering how do I balance it all, here is the answer: I don’t. Some months I hardly touch the work from home part which can leave me scrambling near the end of month or coming up shorter than desired. However, when striving to live faith, family, career (which is 100% a constant work in progress because it can be HARD to put faith and family before personal career goals after spending 21 years in the workplace). Also, I’ve added the duty of gardener because I feel it is important for LilKsby to know how to grow his own vegetables (the flowers are because they are pretty). The biggest duty and one of the most difficult is finding just five minutes a day to do something for yourself. Like any other job, being a stay at home parent requires sacrifice. Many times you sacrifice the things you want to do for the benefit of others. However, it is important to never lose sight of doing things you enjoy. So take a few minutes to play that video game, read a book, watch TV, put together your adult Legos, write, pursue an artistic endeavor…do something that makes you who you were created to be!!!

So there you have it: a Stay at Home Parent Job description. Is it complete? Nope. Something will always get added. However, it does provide a glimpse of what all the job entails. To all the stay at home parents, you’re doing a great job!!!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Another Trip Around the Sun

Photo by Sebastian Arie Voortman on Pexels.com

Tonight concludes another trip around the sun! Usually I blog on my birthday about all the great things that have happened in the last year, but this year I’m feeling a little differently – more introspective – about my birthday. Per usual I did have a list of things that I wanted to accomplish in the year, and as per usual as circumstances changed, the list changed. In the end I accomplished 24 of the 40 on the list, and I had a lot of fun throughout the year. However, more important than the fun was the personal growth that I felt came with 40, so I want to share some of my personal growth tips from the last year.

Learn to set boundaries. If you don’t learn to establish boundaries, people will walk all over you. Also, while learning to set boundaries, understand that it is a process not instantaneous.
Learn to do one thing at a time. As much as we all like to multi-task, we can only be fully present with one thing at a time.
Learn to not let the comments people make bother you to the point that you can’t focus. This is hard, but it is important to learn to do in order to avoid driving yourself crazy.
Try something new or something you haven’t done in a long time. There’s a rush that goes with learning or re-trying a skill!
Put down the phone. Boy this is a hard one that I’m trying to improve upon so that my child doesn’t believe it’s necessary to have a phone in front of your nose. When you put down the phone, you will realize how much stress being on it can cause you.
Schedules are not a bad thing. This is a struggle for me because I like to think I’m fun and do things on the fly, but the truth is that I achieve more and get more joy (because of not rushing) when things are scheduled. Plus, I love having things on the calendar to look forward to doing!
Dance like no one is watching! It’s fun!
Sing your heart out! It’s okay if you’re still belting out all of your favorite 90’s and 00’s songs!
Take one on one time with people. It allows you to connect with them on a deeper level and strengthens relationships.
Coffee, tea, and water are the best drinks on the planet! Water might be the most important, but the other two are right up there!
If you want to see change in the world, start by making a small change yourself. It’s really easy to complain about how hateful everyone in the world is, but by modeling kindness to others, you can be part of the solution.
Read a book or listen to an audiobook! There is power in the written word!
Find faith in something. For me it is God; for you it could be a blueberry muffin. I’m not going to judge what you put your faith into, but I can assure you that it is better to have faith in something than not at all.
Get outside! There is healing in nature!
Plan a trip! Then go on that trip. The world is big, and you deserve to see more than the little slice where you reside.
Purging material items that you don’t need is cathartic especially if you find a way to donate or reuse it instead of filling a landfill.
It’s okay to not believe the same things as previous generations. You’re a different person; therefore, it is okay for your viewpoints to be different.
If you influence children, teach them to actually learn things for themselves instead of believing everything they are told.
Stop believing that everything on the Internet or Social Media is true! If you see something that you’re unsure about its validity, do some research before you repost it.
Be proud of the things you have accomplished! They make you special and wonderful! Having a hard time with this? Take 10 minutes and list some of your greatest accomplishments.
Play with Legos. In fact, if you’re an adult, just find ways to play. Having fun will make your life better!
You’re never too old to look the way you want. Have blue hair! Get a nose ring! Do your thing!!!
Follow your dreams! I had always dreamed of writing and publishing, and now Mr Kisby and I have a little thing called Letters & Lore! It’s connected to this page!
Send handwritten notes to people. It takes more effort than a text or FB post, and it shows that you care.
Learn to stop comparing yourself to others. This is super hard and a work in progress, but I can assure you that if you accept who you are, you can achieve greatness!
Eat Zaxby’s. You can thank me later.
Don’t be afraid to try new things. Change might be scary, but it can also be amazing!
Do something you’ve been afraid to try. For me it was getting back on an airplane, but I had the best time last July, and I feel like I became a better person for it. Plus, it helps teach LilKsby to not be afraid.
Walk, run, jog, whatever…just get moving.
Life is short. Eat cake. Then go back to number 29.
It’s okay to stop doing things you no longer enjoy. Set it aside, and you may find that you like it if you try it again down the road.
Tell people your dreams.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help shows strength not weakness.
Relax during the holidays. Don’t get stressed out by trying to make them perfect. Enjoy them.
Unless you have a legit good reason, don’t say “no” to social invitations.
Make sure your cup is full so that you can pour into others.
Get a massage. It’s okay if you start laughing because you’re ticklish.
Always re-evaluate your goals in life. You’ll get further by allowing yourself to change.
Watch a favorite show again especially if you need a laugh!
Don’t wish time away. You can’t get it back.

That’s a lot of tips! I’ve learned a lot at 40, and I am 100% that 41 is going to be even more exciting and freeing! Much love my friends!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Literacy a Fun Idea

I cannot take full credit for this idea. I came up with the idea when I saw this post going around social media about a lady asking her husband and kids to buy her 12 books for Christmas and wrap them with a label for each month. This would be like her own Book of the Month club. Of course I saw this after the holiday, but I thought “I can adapt this!” At first I thought I would just adapt it for myself by rewrapping and labeling books I got for Christmas. Then I got to thinking that this could be a great way to get LilKsby to read different books! He loves to read, but a lot of times we end up reading the same 15 or so over and over. So I went to his bookshelf to find books he hasn’t previously shown an interest in reading and a couple new ones we had set aside. Tonight I wrapped them and put a label on each one. Then I put them all in a shoebox so that it looks a treasure chest. I cannot wait for him to see this box and be excited to unwrap a book each month!

So why am I sharing this here? As I wrapped them, I thought this could be a great way to encourage kids who do not like reading to pick up a book. It could also be a fun way for teachers to introduce a book each month to their class. Participate in summer reading? The same idea could be applied just for summer. This is “literacy” a fun idea for all ages!

Happy reading!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Secret to a Balanced Parent Life

When you become a parent, one of the things that modern society likes to imply is that you can easily balance everything in your life. There is the implication of you can work full time, feel like a stellar parent, have plenty of time for a romantic life, and so on and so forth. Here’s the truth and the secret to my seemingly so well balanced parent life: the idea that you can have it all in equal proportion is pure BS.

Think of it from a mathematical standpoint. If you are trying to balance 4 things equally in a 24 hour period, then you have to be able to devote six hours to each one of those things. Wait! You have necessities that have to be done such as sleeping, eating, and showering. Suppose those take 8 hours per day. That leaves you with 16 hours per day which would allot only 4 hours for each of those things. If you only applied 4 hours a day to your job, your boss would probably get irritated with you pretty quickly especially if they are paying you for 8 hours per day. While this isn’t a perfect example, do you see why you can’t equally balance your priorities?

This is where prioritizing the things that are important to you comes into play. If you’re rolling your eyes because you’re thinking well she’s a work from home mom, so this is easy for her to do, I ask you to take a moment and reflect on what’s preventing you from having an open mind. Having an open mind about your priorities is actually a key to finding balance. For you to find balance as a parent, one of the things you have to think about is what your priorities truly are. Obviously, a main priority is being able to provide financially for ones family. I think most everyone would agree on that. But what are your priorities after that? Do you put keeping a clean house over playing with your child? Do you put making coffee with your SO every night above sitting down and watching TV by yourself while they are in another room? Do you make it a priority to go on dates with your SO even if you’ve been married for a long timed? Once you decide on what the priorities are that will make you feel balanced and complete, then you can move on to implementing your balanced life as a parent.

For me, balance comes from having a Six Most Important things to do list every day. I actually divide my list in order of my priorities which tend to be Faith, Family, Work from Home, and Me Time. If you find that there is little or no fun in your life, then I highly recommend you invest in the Me time. Life is short, so you need to have fun! After looking at those things, I put what the most important thing is that needs to happen for each. Usually Faith has something like prayer, read a religious or spiritual text, and silent reflection. Family has things like School (we homeschool and try to spend at least two hours a day on lessons), Daily Chores (I have specific chores assigned to specific days of the week), and then any other errands that need to be done (call and schedule this appointment, go to the park, etc). The other two totally depend on what I’m doing at the time for those tasks. Sometimes my Work from Home says tutor while other times it is tasks for my DS business. One night a week it is designing journals for Letters & Lore (thegreatkaysby.com/letters-lore). My Me Time has been known to have things like paint, watch a movie, play video games, shave your legs, and paint your nails. Both of those are reflective of what is happening at the time. Does everything get done on my list each day? Nope. Shit happens. Sometimes you don’t find yourself able to get everything done. So how can that still make you feel balanced? Circle it and put it at the top of tomorrow’s list!

The last part of my secret to balanced parent life is to listen to your child(ren). This one is something I’m working to improve as I can feel easily overwhelmed and shutdown when things don’t go exactly as planned. However, your little one won’t remember that they went to bed while there was dirty dishes in the sink. They will remember that you had dinner late because the family took time to play a board game together. Likewise, they won’t remember that you didn’t vacuum this week. They will remember that you took two hours to play outside or spent time decorating the house for a holiday together. Along the same lines, they won’t remember that your car had peanut butter crackers smashed in the floorboard. They will remember the trips to the playground, going on hikes, and driving around to look at the changing leaves. Learning to listen to my child has been one of the best ways to find balance as a parent. By the way, this is also applicable to your SO. Listen to them and their cues both verbal and non-verbal. They need you too!

So there you go. Call it “Tip Tuesday” or just some general life advice, whatever you want to call it. Take the advice or leave it. But know that I didn’t do everything on my to list today because this seemed more important to share. I’ve long been told we teach on what we need to learn, so maybe I needed this more today than completing a list.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

10 Things I Love About Me

As part of a leadership class I am taking, I’m starting a 30 day challenge of Daily Journal Prompts. This is outside of my usual realm, but I’m excited for the challenge!

Prompt 8 – List 10 things you love about yourself.

I love this prompt! Not because I love to talk about myself although sometimes I do it a little too much, but because I think listing things you love about yourself is a great mental health exercise. Over the years I’ve used a similar exercise to this prompt for therapeutic reasons, and I highly recommend everyone do it! Here goes my list!

1. I love my creativity and expressing it through painting, sewing, scrapbooking, coloring, and writing.

2. I love my ability to get lost in a book. Books can take you to another world, inform you, and inspire you!

3. I love my head – like all of it. My hair has always made me happy as have my eyes and smile.

4. I love my ability to burst out into song at random moments whether it is with a made up song or one I half know the lyrics to.

5. I love my tendency to be easily excited and enthusiastic about the littlest things!

6. I love my caring spirit and how much taking care of others feeds my soul. It’s important to be a servant leader.

7. I love my ability to teach people a variety of skills in a variety of areas.

8. I love my ability to work hard and get things done when I put my mind to accomplishing something.

9. I love my love of water. I feel most at peace when water is involved be it a shower, pool, rain, lake, etc.

10. Most of all I love being able to live by my priorities: faith, family/friends, living by the Golden Rule, and then career. The two greatest roles in my life are wife and mother, and I do my best to up hold that calling.

I challenge everyone to make their own 10 list!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Grateful

As part of a leadership class I am taking, I’m starting a 30 day challenge of Daily Journal Prompts. This is outside of my usual realm, but I’m excited for the challenge!

Prompt 3 – What are you most grateful for in your life?

If you’re going for a joking answer, my response to this prompt would be that I am grateful for a prompt that has reminded me of how to spell grateful. I love to write, but I frequently second guess myself when it comes to spelling certain words. If you’re going for a rote response, I would say I’m grateful for my family, friends, and health. A true thoughtful response? That answer would be opportunity.

I am abundantly blessed and so grateful for the many opportunities that I have had throughout my life. There have been so many things that I have had the chance to do in my life, and I am abundantly thankful for these opportunities. Here’s a list of some of the top that come to mind…

1. Being able to make the transition to work from home/homeschool mom. This has been nothing short of magical! I’ve gotten to take trips with family and hear fascinating stories about their pasts that I never knew! I’ve gotten to start LilKsby’s education. I’ve been able to participate in groups and met so many new, wonderful people!

2. Having the opportunity to experience life with Mr Kisby has been amazing! His love and support are the entire reason #1 has been able to happen. Beyond that, I’m thankful for all the opportunities we have had to travel together, have fun together, and grow together as people.

3. The opportunity to be a mom. I never knew how much I would love being a mom! For most of my life it wasn’t a thing on my radar. Now I can’t imagine life any other way!

4. The opportunity my DS business has given me. From the friends to the travel to personal growth, I am a better person because of that positive influence.

5. The opportunities to serve others and bless their lives are super important to me. I love helping others. It really fills my cup when I am able to help improve lives!

What are you grateful for?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby