The Great Kaysby

Month End Mania

This one goes out to all of my biz owner friends in the audience!

How often to you get to month end and think, “How did we get here? How’s it __________? Where did the month go? I’m so behind!!!” More often than not, this has been me in the last twelve years that I have taken my direct sales business more seriously (because let’s be real, there are still moments when I don’t work as diligently as I should). Also, I say twelve years because those first eight years were kind of a crapshoot. We’ve all been there too, right? Yet there are still months when I find myself wanting to scream and shout on the last day of the month, “Who needs skin care? Who needs makeup? GO TO MY WEBSITE NOW!” Luckily for all of those in my immediate circle, I have gotten a lot better about not making desperate last minute social media posts to finish goals that I have allowed myself to procrastinate on achieving. Again, I’m honest and fully recognize that I have to say better and not perfect.

That said, two things have made the difference for me. First and foremost, I consistently remind myself of what I can and cannot control. In both businesses – our direct sales and our publishing – I cannot control the number of people who actually make a purchase. I cannot control the number of people who follow our socials, click on our website links, watch our YouTube channel, etc. Remember your granny saying that you can lead the horse to water, but you can’t make it drink? Turns out that is true in a WIDE array of areas. When you accept that there are things you cannot control, you can obtain peace. So what can I control? I can control the number of people that I contact, the number of appointments that I hold, the amount of content we post on socials and YouTube, etc. I can control how much networking I do, and I can control how much time I invest in working towards goals. I can also look up to mentors when I need help, motivation, etc. The second thing that has made a difference for me is learning that I don’t have to win every prize. This was a REALLY hard realization for my reward driven personality. However, I found that when I tried to win EVERYTHING, I would be so distracted that I would not win ANYTHING! Learning to narrow my focus to what I really want to achieve has mad a big difference!

Thanks to what I’ve learned, even though I’m not quite at my March goal, I’m not freaking out. I am proud of what I have accomplished, and I am using what I have learned to propel me into April.

Biz owner friends, who is with me?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

April 25th

What is your favorite type of weather?

As Miss Congeniality taught us “April 25 is the perfect date because it’s not too hot or cold, so all you need is a light jacket.” Oh wait…the question wasn’t describe your perfect date! It said describe your favorite type of weather.

Weather is fascinating, and I find that I love all different types of it and cannot choose one favorite. For example, I love snowy weather especially when I can sit inside with a warm beverage next to our fake fireplace and watch out the window. I love feeling like I’m somewhere between inside of a snow globe and in a Hallmark movie. I also love stormy weather! Let me preface this by saying I do not like tornadoes. However, there is nothing like watching a thunderstorm move across an open field or playing outside in a warm summer storm. Plus, I’m a big fan of sleeping while it’s storming or raining heavily. The sounds can be very comforting! Finally, I love sunny weather that’s perfect for outdoor activities like gardening, golf, hiking, and water activities. This weather leads to a lot of family fun!

The weather I’m not a fan of? Wind warnings, sleet, and ice storms. Those have all led to some not fun times!!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Myth Busting: Homeschool Edition

Since we began homeschooling LilKsby when he was three, I have heard a lot of different misconceptions about what it means to homeschool. Today, I saw some that really take the cake. I kept thinking about these throughout the day, and though I know the people who were commenting on this particular post will never see my blog, I want to bust a few myths about homeschooling.

Myth #1 – Homeschool students don’t learn science. Let’s start with the one that left me the most shocked. I understand that there are some people that teach science with a non-secular world view. However, most families we know who homeschool including ourselves either use a science curriculum, piece their own together, or do a combo of both (what we do). He’s only 6, but LilKsby has learned about the solar system, dinosaurs, a variety of animals, various ecosystems, plants (including having to grow some), the water cycle, and more. He enjoys science so much that this morning (a Saturday morning) he woke us up and asked us to read about The Big Bang. We have also done more science experiments than I can count!

Myth #2 – Homeschool students can’t learn because their parents aren’t college educated and/or teachers. Let me count the ways that I can bust this myth! First of all, most curriculums for homeschool are designed in a way that anyone can teach the child(ren) no matter their educational or occupational background. Two, within our homeschool community, many of the parents are former teachers myself included. Additionally, many of the homeschool parents I know have at least one college degree. In our house, we have two parents with five degrees between us. I’m not usually one to brag about our levels of education, but sometimes I like to remind people that, “Yes, I am qualified to teach LilKsby” and “Yes, Mr. Kisby is qualified to teach LilKsby.”

Myth #3 – Homeschool students never get any socialization. Actually, LilKsby gets socialization with a variety of ages across a multitude of settings. First of all, we are part of a homeschool group. We have events multiple times a year. Guess what they include? Socialization! We also have opportunities to participate in a plethora of events at the library, gyms, and stores. Along this same line, LilKsby has no problem interacting with adults in settings that are going to benefit him as an adult. He can order his own food in a restaurant; he can talk with the bank teller or cashier at the grocery. He also knows how to ask for assistance in a store if we can’t find something.

Myth #4 – Homeschool students never go on field trips. Off the top of my head, this school year alone we’ve had eight field trips. They’ve been science, history, and performance arts related. Hey, look! There’s science showing up again!

Consider these myths busted!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Can You Help Me?

“Can you help me?” It should be such a simple question to ask; it should be a judgment free question ask. Yet how many of us as children/teenagers preferred to do bad on a homework assignment instead of ask for help? If I wasn’t typing my hand would be raised. For a plethora of misguided reasons, I never wanted to ask for help in school. Likewise – unless it was to read something aloud – I didn’t want to be called on in class either.

Fast forward to today, those of us who were afraid to ask for help in our youth are now adults who are trying to break free of the toxic habit that is not asking for help. Yes, I said toxic habit. Why? Because not being comfortable asking for help has caused many people I know to be over stressed, over committed, and feeling as though they are doing something wrong because they cannot figure out everything on their own. Spoiler, I used to be (and sometimes relapse into) one of those people!

What changed? The realization that we as people are not meant to be strong, independent, and capable of doing every single thing ourselves. We are not meant to do every single thing alone. In fact, people were created to need other people. We learn from one another. We all have different talents that can compliment one another’s skills. We are designed to need assistance from other people so that we can in turn assist others! It is human nature!

Along with the realization, I knew that from the time LilKsby started learning that I never wanted him to be afraid to ask for help. Mr. Kisby and I tell him all the time that you learn by asking questions and asking for help. I want LiLKsby to grow up with the understanding that we have the potential to be better as people because we help one another.

So today I am giving you permission to ask “Can you help me?” You may just find that doing so will change your life!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Ready, Set, Travel!

Daily writing prompt

You’re going on a cross-country trip. Airplane, train, bus, car, or bike?

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Given that I started this blog to be about food and travel back in 2018, I absolutely love this question! Of these options, the only one that I have not done is a bike trip (neither motorcycle or cycling). Also, I should note that for me “cross-country” is limited to about half of the country. However, I have found that my preferred method of travel completely depends on the type of trip. For example, I have only ever flown for business trips. The last two times that I flew for business it was a matter of wanting to be away from home as little as possible. When it was just me and Mr. Kisby, it was no big deal for the two of us to hop in the car and go on extended road trips for business or pleasure. We would take our time and explore the areas we were visiting. Since LilKsby has come along, I try to be gone from home for business trips as little as possible. It has become standard to fly out super early the morning the conference starts and fly back immediately after it ends. Along the same line, I have also greatly consolidated how far I’ll travel for business by car. What can I say? Family comes before career for me!

Now if it is just a fun trip and my family is with me, I’m choosing to travel by train or car. I love how much of the country you can see with these two methods. I actually have two train trips on my travel bucket list. One is for New England in the Autumn, and the other is going West to see the plains and mountains. I am also a big fan of cross-country travel by car (provided you have the time) because of the number of things that you can stop and see randomly. Some of our greatest adventures have been when we see a sign for something and go see it on a whim!

Bus travel is interesting because you can see a lot and do not have to worry about doing the actual driving, but with the bus trips I have done, you lose some flexibility. However, I loved the time I did a bus trip to Chicago with my aunt because we did not have to deal with Chicago traffic, and we got to see A LOT of awesome sites! That trip was a little different because the bus dropped you off for a weekend. Other bus trips that we’ve done were more precise guided tours. Those have little flexibility because if you’re not on the bus when it’s time to leave, you are left behind (kind of like if you’re not on the boat at the cruise port when it’s time to go). Although these trips had the big bonus of taking us to way more places than we would have visited independently and being part of the tour allowed us to skip lines at some of the places.

I guess you could just say that if it involves travel I am for any method of transportation if I have the time!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Lose Yourself

Daily writing prompt

What activities do you lose yourself in?

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“Lose yourself in the music the moment, you own it, you better never let it go.”

I can’t be the only one who saw this prompt and thought of those song lyrics, right? (Side note LilKsby hates when I end questions to him with “right?”) But sometimes I do lose myself in the music that I’m listening to. Music is powerful! I can hear a song lyric and be mentally teleported back to a moment when that song lyric was significant. Song lyrics remind me of events, people, places, etc. Hearing a song lyric often leads to trips down memory lane. Just yesterday, “Walking in Memphis” was playing in a restaurant, and I immediately thought back to a cousin’s funeral. The connection between music and our minds is hauntingly beautiful.

I am also prone to losing myself in my writing. I did a writing retreat at the beginning of the month, and I was enamored by how much I could sit and write with intentional, focused time. I’m not sure exactly how many chapters I cranked out, but it was a lot. I am super excited for this Hallmark-esque romance to get published soon!

I have also been known to get lost in things that our entertaining. Last weekend, I binged episodes of Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief. I couldn’t believe that I literally sat there and watched five episodes. That’s not something I do! Just today, I got caught up playing Minecraft. I’ve been getting lost in video games since like 1988. When it’s Countdown to Christmas season, I get lost in Hallmark movies. There’s just something calming about knowing there is going to be a happening.

Now it’s time to get lost in writing my next chapter!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Twister Tips

Photo by Ralph W. lambrecht on Pexels.com

With all of the advances in technology when it comes to the field of meteorology, the area where I live is already discussing a supremely elevated risk for tornadoes three days from now. The fact that they can do this now is astounding to me given I grew up with a weather radio that basically said, “TAKE COVER NOW!” I’m not that old; we just lived that much in the middle of nowhere. Given my years of experience with tornadoes, I thought I would provide some practical advice to others to help them prepare for Sunday.

If the chance of tornadoes is at night, it is in your best interest to either sleep in clothes or keep them nearby. This includes bras, pants, and shirts. Should you happen to end up on the news or having to go outside after the storm, then you want to be dressed in a way that you won’t get arrested for public indecency. If you don’t have on your underwear, that’s between you and Jesus. Besides, I fully get that if the tornado did directly hit you, then your underwear may no longer be clean.
Take your false teeth to the storm shelter! One, tornado warnings can get extended and reoccur in the same night. Sometimes you need snacks while you are in the basement! Also, again should you end up on the news or having to call for help, you want whoever you are talking to with to be able to understand you. Teeth in folks!
If the sky turns green and you see a tree get uprooted outside the window, it is time to go to the basement! Been there and done that! My parents were on vacation, and I was like twenty and home by myself. As fascinating as it all looked, I figured I should go to the basement. Of course I also should have stayed in the safe area the time I was working and a tornado came through, but how many opportunities do you have to see trees flying by windows? Hmm…I may need to err on the side of caution more.
Have a “Basement Bag” packed! When there is a chance of storms, we keep bags with extra clothes, snacks, and activities. I also bring my Bible. Why? The Bible has important records and dates in it should documentation be lost. It also has some family history. We also bring important things like wallets, keys, and chargers. The bag is also a good place for the bra and teeth if need be!
Think about things you would need if the power goes out. If you’re taking candles, be sure to take something to light them! Also, make sure lanterns and flashlights have working batteries. You’re stressed out enough when the sirens go off. Watching the last bit of battery in a lantern die out does not make it easier.
If you’re in a restaurant and the tornado sirens go off, they are probably going to cram everyone into the freezer. Yes, the freezer. It’s actually the sturdiest, safest area of most restaurants. Seriously, that tornado with the trees flying by the window? There WAS a gas station next to the building where I worked, and ALL that was left standing (with the people safely inside) was the walk-in freezer. Side note, you might experience some really odd way restaurants store stuff when you’re hanging out in the freezer. Also, take your food and drink with you. You might be there for a while.
If you’re driving and your passenger says, “Have you ever seen a tornado while driving?” then it is not advisable to do what I did which was look at the sky, see the funnel, and proceed to drive a little faster in the opposite direction. That’s not a good idea. I repeat that IS NOT a good idea! What you should do is try to drive to a nearby shelter, or if absolutely necessary pull over in a low lying area. Contrary to popular belief, you are not safe under bridges and overpasses during tornadoes.

What are your best twister tips?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

A Fine Line…

Are you superstitious?

There’s a fine line between superstitious and thriving on routines. I realize that sounds like a bold statement, but follow me for a second. As a teenager, for a brief bit, I thought that the outcome of my day could be predicted by whether or not I won a game of solitaire on the computer while waiting for the bus to arrive. Did I really believe that a Windows 95 game could determine my day? No. However, it gave me an excuse to play on the computer every morning before school, and I liked that routine!

I no longer play solitaire every morning. In fact, I’m not sure what version of Windows was the last one to have it be automatically included. That said, I do still like routines, and breaking a routine can be hard for me. In fact, some have even heard me say “I can’t do that. It’s bad luck” about things that may seem silly. Yet the reality is, I’m not really being superstitious about the thing, I just don’t want to change it. I really like to always take the same entrance into places, check things on the computer in a certain order, and have schedules for certain activities like what chores go on which day. I’m a creature of routine, and I am a lot more focused and less anxious with them.

Like I said, it’s a fine line…

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

We Wear the Mask

I just finished an amazing book by Elle McNicoll called “Wish You Were Her.” The two main characters in the book – Jonah and Allegra – are autistic. One of the recurring themes in the book is how they feel they have to wear figurative masks around other people. Thinking about that theme got me thinking about the poem “We Wear the Mask” by Paul Laurence Dunbar. Both pieces are brilliant with similar themes though the aforementioned masks referred to different situations. Then I started thinking about how many of us at one point or another in our lives have worn figurative masks.

Figurative masks are like a security blanket. They keep us feeling protected when we are actually feeling intense vulnerability yet do not want the world to see it. Perhaps a mask is worn during a time of intense emotions like the loss of a loved one, a relationship ending, or losing a job. Maybe a mask is worn during times of disappointment like not getting a role you auditioned for or not getting a job you interviewed for, or maybe a mask is worn when you are anxious about a situation and trying to blend in with all the other people around you who seem to not have anxiety. I’m learning as I get older that more and more of us have anxiety…I assure you that you are not alone.

Sometimes you might even wear masks when trying to make friends. With this mask you might pretend to like things you could care less about or do things that you normally would not do. I spent a good chunk from nineteen to thirty-three involved with a Live Action Role-Playing Game where everyone had a “persona.” At times, it was difficult to know the real person from the persona. I would care to wager that some of them even lost themselves in the persona for a hot minute. Talk about wearing masks! It’s understandable why you might wear a mask when socializing, but trust me, if you take off the mask, you may be surprised by how many people will love you for who you truly are. In fact, they may even like the real you better. Having friends is a basic human need just as much as shelter, food, and water, and I assure you that true friends will allow you to remove the mask. These days social media even provides us all with a mask as we only post the parts that we want the world to see. Many find it difficult to be truly transparent on social media for a plethora of reasons. Me? My social media mask is because I do not like to start arguments, and I like to keep certain things private. I think these social media masks are why so many people have a hard time with what is real and what is not any more. The final mask that I think of is that of “the social butterfly.” I have often been mislabeled as a social butterfly as I am really good at talking to a variety of people across various settings. People assume that I am an extrovert, but the reality is that I am only extroverted in certain settings. I can also be very introverted and more of an observer in situations. I promise, I’m not mad or trying to be rude during these times. I would almost wager that for most “social butterflies” it is more of a mask than who they truly are. Ha ha once again I could circle back to thinking about the LARP days. A lot of life lessons came from that time period…maybe I should write a book about what I learned from LARPing. On the other hand…maybe not.

Perhaps you are wearing a mask right now. If you are, I am giving you permission to remove it. I am giving you permission to be yourself. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Proverbs

“…Stupid people have no respect for wisdom and refuse to learn.” Proverbs 1:7

Seven lines into Proverbs 1, and I think I may have a new favorite quote from the Old Testament (though I do love Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 and Psalm 23). It is easy for this quote to be attention grabbing given the state of the world. How often are we quick to judge and think the actions of others are indeed stupid and lacking wisdom? This is a rhetorical question, please don’t start trying to count. Quotes like this are easy to look at and immediately think of others. But what about ourselves? Are we free from stupidity?

As someone who has done their fair share of stupid things, I will be the first to attest that no one is free from the enticing allure of stupidity. I can also assure you that in my moments of stupidity wisdom is often so far out the window that is more minute than a blur on the horizon. But based on my experiences (some of which are still humorous), I can testify that the stupidity can stop, and you can learn from the past and become who you are meant to be. That is the most beautiful thing about faith. At any given point while there is still breath in your lungs, you CAN change for the better! Look at Peter; look at Paul! They had a plethora of moments of stupidity, yet they were entrusted to be the cornerstone (Peter) and spread the gospels to the known world (Paul).

My mission today is simple. I may not have the eloquent speech of Proverbs, but here is what it boils down to. You can make the choice right now and change the trajectory of your future. So…stupidity or wisdom?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

February Fireworks

The other day, LilKsby and I were over at my parents’ house, and one of the things we did was light fireworks in February. The ones we used were nothing big – just some poppers, smoke bombs, snakes, and spinners – and were nothing that required waiting until dark. It was seventy degrees and sunny between rain storms which was a welcome juxtaposition to most of the weather we’ve had lately. We laughed and laughed as we lit fireworks. It was perfect fun!

After the experience, I got to thinking, “What if doing things just for fun, like February fireworks, even if it’s ‘not the season’ became the norm?” Yearning to dye eggs in September? Go for it! Want to create Christmas crafts in June? Go for it! Want to eat “Holiday Foods” in May? Go for it! Life is too short to not do fun things just because “it’s not the season”!

So my challenge to you as you plan the upcoming week is for you to include something fun. Even if it is completely out of season, do it anyway! The fun it will bring is worth it!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Purposeful Direction

“I have direction.”

“Yeah, towards the mall.”

Who else remembers that exchange between Cher and Josh in Clueless? Iconic, right? I was thinking about that line tonight after reading St Paul’s First Letter to Timothy. I know you’re thinking, “How does a movie that defined the mid-90s tie to the Bible?” In verse 1:5, Paul specifically states the purpose of his letter. That made me think about people and how many know their purpose in life and can explicitly say it without wavering. Then I wondered if there are more people like Cher early in the movie who know they have a purpose yet haven’t figured out what it is. Along with this, how many of us have – like Josh – assumed we know someone’s purpose when we truly know them very little and have no clue?

The good news is if you do not yet know your purpose, you can figure it out, and as long as there is breath in your lungs, you have time to begin living it. So how can you find your purpose? It starts with a little self reflection. If you need some guiding questions try these:

What drives you to get out of bed in the morning even when you don’t want to get up?
What do you hope people remember about you after you meet them?
What pulls at your heartstrings and will move you to tears even if you aren’t a crier?
What do you enjoy doing that blesses others?
What gifts and talents have you been given?

Something else to consider as you reflect is what are your love languages. Understanding these can help you determine the purposeful direction you need to follow. Finally, remember that your purpose is unique to you and should not be exactly the same as anyone else’s.

Good luck finding direction to somewhere besides the mall!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Let Them Be…

If I could only ever share one piece of advice when it comes to raising children, it would be this: LET THEM BE BORED! As a parent myself, I know that this tidbit is going to be met with protest, complaining, perhaps a little crying (from both of you lol), and grumpiness. However, it is important to stay strong and provide your child(ren) the opportunity to be bored.

Why?

Think back to your own childhood when you were bored. Those times of boredom taught you a lot of lessons. One, they taught you independence. Times of boredom allowed you to figure out on your own how to find things to do and learn what you were interested in. Two, they taught you how to be creative. The moments you are bored are the moments that a paper bag becomes a toy or a cardboard box becomes a house! Finally, the moments of boredom taught us how to survive without being entertained 24/7. Kids (even my own) struggle with learning to entertain themselves because they never have to. All of this is why I’m working on allowing LilKsby to be bored. It’ll benefit him in the long run!

So let them be bored!

What would your one tip of parenting advice be?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

It’s Up To You

“If it is to be, it is up to me.”

That’s it. That’s the post.

Just kidding.

“If it is to be, it is up to me.” Some might hear this quote and dismiss it as sounding self-absorbed. They might think, “Well, this person thinks it’s all about them!” I can see where it would be easy to make this interpretation with the “Me, me, me!” mentality that is so precedented. However, others might look at this quote and think, “That’s a great point. If I want to succeed, I have to put in the work.”

Often times people (myself included) fall into the trap of “it will happen if it is meant to be” as though we expect things to happen magically. Along the same lines we might think, “Well, I hope this happens.” Then we find ourselves in a loop of disappointment when things do not progress like we want.

But wait! Was action ever taken?

No.

So what if we listened to the quote? What change might we see if we started doing the work to get to where we want to be? How quickly could we start to see progress? How quickly could we be where we wanted to be?

I know where I could be with just a little bit of action and growth sprinkled with pinch of consistency! Now, should I go for it and make it happen or keep hoping without action?

What will you choose?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Let Your Light Shine

Close your eyes. Think about your home on the darkest night with no moonlight. How do you see? Now imagine that in addition to the dark night the power is out, your cell phone is out of battery, and none of your flashlights are working. You have one candle. Would you let your light shine, or would you hide it under a cover as you wait for “the right time”?

Obviously, if you don’t want to trip and fall or have someone else in the house trip and fall, you are going to shine your light! You may even give your light away to someone else in the house that needs it more. You may have everyone gather in one room so that everyone in the house can be blessed by the light!

Common sense, right?

If it is such common sense, then why do people often shine a physical light for all to see in the darkness yet dim their inner light that can provide people with reignited passion, hope, belief, etc? Shouldn’t we be willing to share any light literal or symbolic that will help others?

The easy answer to that question is, “Yes.” I could prattle on about why I think people do this, and if I did, I might hit on some valid points. However, I am no expert when it comes to why people make the choices they do. So instead of surmising about things I cannot know for sure, I’m going to issue a challenge.

Are you ready for it?

This week, I challenge you to be a light to those around you by sharing kindness and showing love. Even if you only make a lasting difference to one person, you have shared the light!

Xoxo,

The Great Kaysby