inspiration – The Great Kaysby

Stop and Watch the Animals

What skills or lessons have you learned recently?

In a fast paced, almost always connected world, the most important lesson is to stop and watch the animals. Today, we seized the day, and we went to the zoo instead of doing our typical homeschool day. One of the best parts of the day was when we sat and ate snacks while watching the lions and giraffes! Watching them filled me with such a sense of calm and peace. The feeling was enhanced by the warm sun on my face, gentle breeze blowing through the trees, and the refreshing sent of outside air. It was one of those feelings that served to remind me of the importance of slowing down and being present in the little moments. During this crazy time of year, I think we could all use a moment to stop and watch the animals!

Five Things I’m Good At…

This is a great daily prompt! I am always fascinated by the responses to questions like these because they can go a variety of ways. The easiest way to answer is always with skills for which you have received recognition. It is also easy to answer with something related to hobbies you enjoy or a hidden talent that you may possess. I mean wouldn’t we all agree that we are amazing singers in the shower and put on the best concerts while in there? The more difficult way to answer this question is with intrinsic things that others may not know about yourself. Perhaps you would also come up with a list that includes extrinsic and intrinsic things. For me, I feel like it is a combination of both!

One thing that I am great at is worrying and letting the things I worry about distract me. In fact, sometimes I think I get some kind of odd pleasure out of having something to worry about. Part of this is a predisposition to worrying. I 100% believe that things like worry and anxiety have a genetic component. Which is why – though it can come across as toxic to some – I try to always find a positive lining to things. It’s for my own good. Sometimes I worry about things so much that after they have come to pass, I find myself simply exhausted. This is the case today. We started the day with having to take a cat to the pet (our cats are family), and I was afraid something was going to be wrong. Why? Probably because I’m still grieving the cat we lost this past summer especially on days when LilKsby brings her up a lot (which he did this morning), but also because the cat didn’t have the best checkup last year. Praise God (yes, I pray over my cats), the cat got a perfect checkup this year! What a relief!

Another thing I am good at is finding joy in the little things. I believe this is truly an amazing skill to have! For example, I am finding joy right now in writing this blog. I also find joy in watching it snow, cuddling up in my chair in front of the twinkling Christmas tree lights, and wandering through art galleries. I think that one of the biggest things that can make a difference in our lives is finding joy in little things.

Guess what else I’m good at? Being creative! I love writing, scrapbooking, painting, sewing, finding ‘reuses’ for items, and singing. I also love to dance even though I have the rhythm of a bucket! There’s something magical about taking something and molding it into something new.

I am good at being social. It can be exhausting because I am an extroverted introvert, but I can do the whole “peopling” thing. It actually recharges my battery to “people” the majority of the time. I love listening to the stories people have to tell and seeing all the wonderful connections that we have. When you get out there and get to “peopling” you learn just what a small world it is!

Finally, I’m good at word puzzles. I absolutely love word puzzles! I love learning the definitions of different words, I love learning the origins of words, and I love utilizing the words that I use from crosswords. It’s fun to be like, “That’s not light brown; that’s ecru.” I also love number puzzles like Sudoku! Puzzles are fun past time, and I like to think they are good for the brain!

What are five things you’re good at?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Sometimes You Lead, Sometimes You Follow

Daily writing prompt

Do you see yourself as a leader?

View all responses

By definition, according to the Oxford Dictionary, a leader is “the person who leads or commands a group, organization, or a country.” Solely looking at this definition, I have been a leader. I have been in the President/Highest Office in a few organizations and been one of the supporting main offices (usually secretary) in other organizations. I have also led a team of beauty consultants for almost 15 years. Just going off of what is on paper, I have been a leader in various capacities since about 2004. In other words, if my leadership self was their own person, they’d be having their first legal drink this year! LOL

But do I see myself as a leader?

No. Yes. Maybe. Being a leader is interesting because I do not necessarily see myself as a leader, but I have the type of personality where I can take charge when necessary (especially in critical situations though I may have a come apart when it is over), and I can also be the planner, organizer, etc for various situations. However, sometimes it is also nice to be part of the ensemble so to speak. It’s nice to be in the background while someone else steps in the spotlight. I also feel like as I get older, the reason for seeking leadership changes. When I was younger, sometimes I wanted to be made the leader because it made me feel like I had a bigger purpose (like when I held various offices with organizations). As I have gotten older, I want to lead people with a servant’s heart so that they will be able to mirror that love and gratitude to future generations. Currently, I have a semi-leadership position in a non-profit, and I have said for years that I want to lead it in such away that when I decide to step down, I know that it will be secure for years to come. I have also found myself desiring to grow in business leadership because I know that it will have a bigger positive impact on my own family. However, I also know that to do this and be the best leader I can be, I have some self growth that needs to happen in areas like time management and overcoming obstacles.

So do I see myself as a leader? I see myself growing into the person I was born to be, and if that involves leading others and showing what it is like to live by the Golden Rule, then that’s cool.

Are you a leader?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Words of Wisdom From a “Cool Aunt”

At this point in my life, I have had nearly twenty years of experience as an aunt either from being a chosen aunt to my friend’s kids or to those I am actually related because of Mr. Kisby. I’ve always fancied myself a “Cool Aunt” with my fake nose ring (one day it will be real), tendency to draw on myself, hobbies that many consider to be “teenage things,” love of a variety of music from multiple decades including today, and willingness to take the kids to do cool stuff. As someone who had a “Cool Aunt,” I always wanted to be one, so I’ve tried to do my best! However, now that some of my nieces and nephews are becoming young adults, I also want to be the aunt that shares some life advice that isn’t typically learned as part of a diploma pathway in high school or as part of a degree program in college. So here goes…

It is okay to not know what you want to do at 18, 21, 29, 39, or older. Yes, there are some people who know what they want to do from the time they are small, and their dream never changes. However, some of us are still learning even in are 40s. At one time, I wanted to be an actress. I even spent two years of college pursuing that dream before realizing that starving artist really doesn’t sound like a fun career choice to me. Then I wanted to be a business something that required not one but two business degrees. Then I ended up getting a Masters in Teaching. A long the way I also thought it would be cool to be a bar tender, writer, yoga instructor, barista, blogger, and life coach. Of those I only ever pursued writing and blogging, but sometimes I think others would be cool. I kind of just want to have a bar tending licence much like I’ve always wanted a motorcycle license even though I don’t actually want to drive a motorcycle. Guess what I currently do that I never would have dreamed about it my teens or 20s? I want to – and thank the good Lord I get to – be a homeschooling mama who works a few flexible contractor jobs for a little extra moo-lah. The point? It’s 100% okay if what your dream is changes!

There is never a perfect time for anything. If you spend your life waiting for the time to be right, then you are going to either (a) miss out on a lot of cool things while you’re waiting for perfection or (b) never do what you wanted to do. I first heard this lesson from a former co-worker who said “If you wait for the perfect time to have kids, then you’ll never have kids.” I think this sentiment is applicable to a lot of things, and I loved it because we spend so much time hearing “wait for the right time” or “it’s not the right time.” In practice this means try not to say things like “I’ll do X, Y, Z when I finish school” or “I’ll do X, Y, Z when I have a house.” Instead consider if you really want to do the thing in question, or if you know you want the thing, start planning how you can make it happen. Obviously, there are some things that have to wait for some timing. For example, “When I have been at a job for one year and saved money, I will buy a car” and “When I have $5,000, I will be able to rent an apartment, turn on utilities, and buy the basic necessities for a first apartment.” These are logical because one helps get the other. Just keep in mind there is a difference in things taking time and planning and waiting for the perfect moment.

It’s okay if your first big love isn’t your forever romance, and it’s okay if your first big love is your forever romance. Some people are lucky enough to meet the one they are meant to be with at a young age and have it all work out. Some of us don’t meet and date the one we are meant to be with until the second, third, or more relationship. It is okay to be one of these people too. The important part is finding a partner who you have common interests with that you will love just as much in your 70s as you did in your 20s or 30s. I’ve now loved Mr Kisby through three different age decades, and I can tell you with him I hit the jackpot! It took a broken road to get there, but as Rascal Flatts once said, “God blessed the broken road, that led me straight to you.” Along with common interests, it helps abundantly to find someone with similar religious/spiritual beliefs, a similar moral compass, and life goals. It also helps if your partner is someone you like along with loving them. Also, if your grandma doesn’t like your partner, take it has a hint and dump them. Grandmas are smart.

Have fun in life! Yes, being an “adult” is stressful, hard work, and involves a lot of boring things like paying bills, cleaning house, and having to make smart decisions liking eating at home versus going to fast food every night (which could lead to stomach issues so make sure your “adult” job as health insurance). However, you still have to find time to play. If you quit doing things that you find fun, then you’re missing out on a lot of good times. I’m an “adult” with several years of experience, but I still play video games, do stuff outside, chase my kid around, read books, color, paint, go on dates with my hubby, watch TV, sew, and hangout with friends occassionally. Doing those fun things are what keep you sane. Some of my best advice is to do one fun thing a day even if it’s just for five minutes. If you’ve got a lot of shit going on, set a timer on your phone for five minutes and until it goes off do something just for fun even if it’s just jamming out at max volume. Your mental and emotional health will thank you for having fun!

Last but not least, who you are as a person is 100% unique to you. As a kid you are often told what is right and wrong, what you should believe, etc. I can tell you from experience that it is okay if those things change for you as you grow. There are things that I thought were black and white issues. Now I can tell you that a lot of times there are gray areas, but that is because I have made a point of educating myself or have personally experienced the gray areas. You should do the same. Likewise, it is okay to recognize that something that was once commonplace is now offensive and to opt to change your perspective. I can also tell you for me personally, my faith in the Holy Trinity is a lot stronger now because of an almost decade long span where I didn’t attend church, pray, or really think about Jesus. But in the end, I found my way back, and having all those life experiences has made my faith stronger. It’s okay if the same has to happen with you. Likewise, it is okay to have been brought up with no spiritual/religious background and want to learn more about your options. It’s also okay to be steadfast in what you believe and never stray. No matter your story, you will end up where you’re supposed to be as long as you keep moving forward.

I could keep going, but man that’s a lot! And I know from experience that too much advice just goes in one ear and out the year because most of us don’t believe things until we experience them. Plus, a lot of us have the attention span of a goldfish, so some people may not have even read this far. This is a long post for me! Take it or leave it, those are all my words of wisdom as a “cool aunt.”

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Truth About Happiness

A couple months ago, someone told me that they think happiness is a scam. However, even after enduring some MEGA unhappiness in May and June, I still don’t think happiness is a scam. I also believe that happiness is more than a mat that sits in a doorway (if you were a teen in the 90s, I hope you get that reference)! However, I will agree that we are taught a lot of false things about happiness. One of the biggest is that happy people are happy all the time. As a generally happy/excitable person, I can assure that this is not true. Happy people also feel a full gamut of other emotions. Trust me, I can be all kinds of angry, sad, jealous, mad, irritated, and anxious too! Another false thing about happiness? A smile equals happiness. Yes, I smile when I’m happy. I also smile when I am nervous, not sure of what to say in a situation, or trying to mask an emotion. Plus, some people just don’t smile. That doesn’t mean they aren’t happy. It just means they have less wrinkles and don’t show their happiness with facial expressions. Finally, I think people confuse happiness and joy. Happiness is very fleeting and tied to specific events. The things that bring me joy are more enduring and fill my cup. That said things that bring me joy can also make me happy, but things that make me happy don’t always bring lots of joy. For example, volunteering brings me joy and usually makes me happy. However, a $1 winning lottery ticket makes me happy for a moment, but it doesn’t bring immense joy.

What do you think is the truth about happiness?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

9:09…Mission Accomplished

Like my turtle? To most people it is simply a cute turtle made from a cute craft kit. For me, this turtle symbolizes the last of my “missions” aka fun goals while I was 41. Every year, I set out to complete a number of fun things equivalent to my age for the year. Looking back on when I started with “33 While 33” I laugh to myself. In the 8 years of doing this little self fun project, I’ve learned a lot of things (in fact, I probably talked about some of these last May 7). Ready for some life lessons 8 years in the making???

Lesson 1: If you continually set goals that you are never actually willing to work towards, then you probably don’t actually want to achieve those goals, or you have not yet had the right motivation for setting said goals. In my 30s, I frequently put, “I want to lose 20 pounds as one of my goals.” Did it happen? Nope. It was one of those goals that I kept regurgitating on paper because “I thought I should.” There was never an actual purpose attached. Now that I’m older and wiser (HA HA), I realize that losing weight is a great goal, but you have to be willing to make the life changes to do so. It wasn’t until three years ago that I actually began taking steps towards being healthier (giving up soda, working to cut out artificial sweetners, increasing activity). Is the 20 pounds gone? Nope. Do I feel better? Yup! Part of that is the habit changes, and the other part of it is realizing that such a big lifestyle change is a daily process and not an “end goal”.

Lesson 2: If you set a goal on a whim, it is okay to make changes if the goal no longer fits your life’s purpose or current situation. A great example of this is one of my original goals was to do yoga on a beach. Sounds great, right? While I love yoga, and I love the beach, taking a beach vacation was not a family priority for us this year. Thus, I changed the goal to be something more in line with our priorities. By allowing myself to change the goal, I was able to achieve something fun and not feel let down for not accomplishing a fun goal!

Lesson 3: Fun goals for yourself do not have to take a lot of time. Some of my goals for this past year took 15 minutes or less to accomplish. When I do this sort of goal making, it isn’t about things that are difficult or take a long time. These goals are all about making time to do things that I enjoy. Side note, if you didn’t do 41 fun things in the last year, take some to add in some fun. Seriously, one of my goals was doing yoga in the backyard. Anyone, can take time to do yoga in the backyard! Highly recommend doing it during the full moon!

Lesson 4: Your fun goals don’t have to make sense to anyone but you. Mine covered a variety of areas from going to a Broadway show (touring of course!), creating art projects, publishing books, doing some family travel, and hiking. There were other things, but I can’t think of them right now, and my journal is in the other room. The point of this exercise is to let yourself have fun by doing things you enjoy!! No one else will ever enjoy the exact same things you do!

Lesson 5: Write about the fun things you’ve done and take pictures if you’re a visual person! It’s a lot of fun to look back at a journal or a photo album at all the fun things you accomplished in a year!

I feel like I could go and on about this year and my fun goals, but I’d really like to drink the rest of my decaf coffee and finish my bowl of watermelon. My challenge to you is this. Think about some fun goals for yourself and begin working on them before your next birthday! You’ll love the result!!!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

And Then There Were Five…

A little over a year ago, I began collaborating with Letters & Lore – a small husband and wife owned publishing company – on a little project called Matthew & Me. The idea was to create a devotional over the Gospel of Matthew that looked at the scriptures from a different point of view. The desired POV was from that of a sinner, someone who has lapsed in faith, and someone who had a lot of questions about the Gospels that maybe…just maybe…they were afraid to ask anyone they knew. From there the project spawned four more publications: Making Your Mark, Life Lessons with Luke, A Second Act with Acts, and Journeying with John. It was never intended for there to be five different publications, but you know how it is when God opens a window…sometimes you just jump through it without knowing what might happen!

During the publishing process, one of my favorite parts was creating the covers. I didn’t realize it until the third publication, but I had unintentionally given each cover and the pictures inside a theme that matches one of the four elements. When I got to thinking about what each cover represented, I realized that these matches were no accident. They were divine intention for what each Gospel means to me. Let me break it down:

Matthew – Air – the predominant feature of the cover is the sky. Much like the air we breathe, the Gospel of Matthew is poetic with a story telling nature similar to life giving breath.
Mark – Nature – the predominant feature of this cover is a meadow with trees on the edge. Like many things in nature, the Gospel of Mark is simplistic in word, but said words provide strong roots for the foundation of faith in a way that anyone can find theirselves in them.
Luke – Water – the Gospel of Luke is expansive and flowy in its words. This Gospel tells the narrative in a calm and peaceful way much like the daily flow of tides in the sea. Since it is a direct companion, A Second Act with Acts utilizes this same theme.
John – Fire – the Gospel of John makes you run a marathon of emotions, and it doesn’t hold back any punches. With John you get a raw Gospel that isn’t flowery and serene. It is impactul and motivating and lights a fire from the Holy Spirit within you! The call to action is the strongest in this Gospel!

Going into the project, I thought that the Gospel of Matthew was my favorite. However, after this intense deep dive through all four, I have found that all of them have a different purpose for different seasons of my life while all reminding of the same basics of my faith. This journey has had a lasting impact on me, and I am thankful to Letters & Lore for the opportunity to have this collaboration. You can checkout the devotionals and all of their other publications here. Side note, as a mama, I’m proud that LilKsby has also helped them with a couple of publications! Five year olds are super fun!!!

Now that this journey is complete, I can’t see what is next for me!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Face Your Giants

I have always loved to sing. As a child, my parents could locate me out in public because they would hear me singing. I didn’t care who heard me. Moving into teenage and young adult years, I sang a lot of karaoke even one time on stage at Kings Island! But somewhere along the way, I began to believe that I couldn’t sing solo in front of people. I believe it began with auditions for musicals. There was always something terrifying to me about singing a song you barely knew in front of a bunch of other people. Over time the fear became a giant.

Fast forward to becoming a parent. One thing I have noticed is that our children will take on our fears if we aren’t careful. From this I decided that I didn’t want LilKsby to ever feel like he shouldn’t try something fun because it feels a little scary. So I decided that I need to sing a solo and face my giant.

Tonight I did just that! For the first time, I sang two solos as part of our church choir’s Easter Vigil numbers. When I volunteered, I thought the lights would be off when I sang, and that I would only have to go up on stage for one of them. Well, it turned out that the lights were on, and I had to go on stage twice. But guess what? Even with my heart racing, it was great!!! I could picture myself doing it again in the future. 🙂

So how did I face my giant? One, I spent time practicing outside of rehearsals. I practiced with my keyboard and videos. Two, I shared videos of my practicing with those who could provide constructive feedback. Three, I spent a lot of time visualizing how singing in front of everyone would look. Four, I prayed over it…a lot! Was it work? Yes. Was it worth it? YES!

What giant do you need to face?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

A Little Day Musing

Photo by Andrey Grushnikov on Pexels.com

What’s up? What’s on your mind today? I don’t know about you, but I have had a LOT of things on my mind lately. Can anyone else to relate to 2025 feeling like the longest year ever while time has also been flying by? I realize that seems contradictory, but I’m finding it to be very true. Usually, for me this feeling happens when there are a lot of big events happening, but also not a lot in the daily life outside of our normal routine. I like to call it the “hurry up and wait routine.” This is a routine I dislike (it’s like waiting for the other to shoe to drop except the events your waiting for aren’t always negative) because I feel like sometimes it can cause you to miss out on the little things that are happening. One thing I have started doing this year, is recording the little things that bring joy on a piece of paper and putting them in a big vase. At the end of the year when I get retrospective (because don’t we all start doing that for NYE?), I can look back on all the good things that happened. I’m pretty excited about this, and I get excited when I add things to the jar!

Anyway…that’s not exactly what I intended to write, but I guess I needed to let it out. I intended to share some random musings that have been on my mind lately. In my usual fashion, there’s going to be a list! Grab some popcorn, sit back, and enjoy!

Musing #1 – The number of hex keys you have might be directly related to the number of pieces of IKEA furniture you have assembled. It’s really nice of them to always include the hex key, but my toolbag doesn’t need to be a constant reminder of the amount of money that I’ve spent at IKEA over the years! LOL

Musing #2 – I had a great quote shared with me recently. I don’t where it is from, but it says: “Somebody said, “worrying is like worshipping the problem” and wow.” Can we talk about a mic drop quote? As someone who strives to live faith first, but is also a worrier (usually about things out of my control, and yes I have coping strategies in place) this was a big eye opener. So this week, any time I start to worry, I’ve tried to find positive in the situation.

Musing #3 – Sometimes watching people, pets, etc get old really sucks. However, it is a blessing to realize how lucky you are to have people, pets, etc who love you and you love.

Musing #4 – SNL 50 had some hysterical moments! I never really watched a lot of SNL, but I’m glad I checked out some videos. They brought a lot of laughs! I was team MadTV growing up. I still laugh at those skits too!

Musing #5 – Silence isn’t always complacency; silence can be a means of selfpreservation. This one has been on my mind a lot. Some people like to assume that if you’re silent about hot button topics on social media, then you’re secretly for said topic. However, for some of us not constantly engaging in battle via a keyboard is an important means of keeping our shit together. I’ll take good mental health over arguing with people on the Internet any day!!!

Musing #6 – I hope that people are always able to find joy in something. I know not everyone is going to be like me and get super excited about the littlest things, but I hope everyone in the world has something that brings them joy. If the don’t, then I hope they can find it! In case you’re curious, this morning I was excited by a volcano, and this afternoon I’m excited to spend some quality time with my sewing machine. ❤ The other day I got excited about finding a lampshade on sale! Which reminds me that I need to go find a light bulb since the lamp is for my sewing table.

Musing #7 – It’s okay to have a bad day. I feel like a lot of times we don’t give ourselves permission to have bad days. Even though it has been 14 years since my grandmother passed, January 21 can still be a hard day. However, even the worst days can still have positive outcomes. Yes, I lost my grandma on January 21, and I was deeply saddened and still miss her; however, she was finally out of pain that day and at peace which brings me great joy and relief for her. Likewise, having a miscarriage was extremely sorrowful, but it showed me just how much I wanted to be a mama and that my body was capable of the miracle that is creating life. I really believe that loss made me love our Sweet Boy even more!

Musing #8 – I love snow, and I think it is fun that we’ve had so much this winter. However, we have a lot of events in the next couple of weeks, and I’ve started getting some really cool water park ads. So even though I strongly dislike being hot and sweaty, I’m ready to move forward. Thanks for the snow, Mother Nature. But I’m ready to get outside and start enjoying some sunshine!

Musing #9 – Books are cool! For our schooling, we use A LOT of what are called living books. I love learning right alongside LilKsby, and it is really fun to talk about previous books when we’re reading a new book. I also love that he’s gotten hooked on the sweetest series called Heartwood Hotel (they are not paying me to mention it). Additionally, books teach us, provide entertainment, and allow us to go places we never would be able to see! Books rock!

There are my current musings. What are you musing about today?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Life Lessons with Luke

Surprise! I’m working on another collaboration with Letters & Lore! As I work on putting together a third devotional for publication, I felt led to share some thoughts with you. Sit, back, relax, and join me for a trip inside my brain!

Luke 4:8 says: “Jesus answered, “It is written: Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.” How many people today are worshiping false idols? How many people are serving those with earthly power and their deeds instead of putting their faith in God? How many people are falling for sensationalized media instead of falling into the Word of God? How many people are struggling to worship and serve God because they feel helpless in the turbulance of this world?

Luke 5:8 says: “When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” Me too Peter, me too! I can’t speak for everyone, but I know that I am a sinner. For a period of my life, I did like Peter said he was going to do, and I went away from the Lord. However, as I got older and found my way back to Him after experiencing MUCH TRAGEDY, I realized that the Lord never left me even when I was at my most sinful. He was there in the background the whole time making sure that I would inevitably come out okay. I say this to give everyone hope. Even if you feel that you have lost the Lord in your life because you feel that you are unworthy of his forgiveness because your sins are too many and too grave, He will welcome you back. Don’t let your past interactions with or feelings of being judged by earthly people keep you from seeking a relationship with Jesus!

Luke 6:37-38 says: “Do not judge others, and God will not judge you; do not condemn others, and God will not condemn you; forgive others, and God will forgive you. Give to others, and God will give to you.” Read it again. Now read it again. One more time for good measure! Take a good look at your actions, words, social media posts, etc. Have you been judging people based on their religious beliefs, gender, political affiliations, sexuality, race, socioeconomic background, etc? What judgments have you made for which you need to pray for God’s forgiveness? How can you begin to live as Jesus instructed?

I share all of this with the intention of spreading hope. Am I the best at always going to church? No. Do I slip even though I believe in the Blessed Three? Yup! Do I think that you can have a relationship with God just by digging into His Word on your own and living in accordance with the teachings of Jesus? Yup! That’s why when this collaborative opportunity arose, I felt called to accept it.

Now to resume drafting the publication of Life Lessons with Luke! In the meantime, you can checkout Matthew & Me and Making Your Mark on letterslore.com.

Have an abundantly blessed week!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

“Fire Bad, Tree Pretty”

Here is a pretty picture of a tree. I thought I would lead with a picture of a tree because those seem to get a lot of attention in the fall. Plus, there’s something about pretty trees that provides a calming effect. I’m sure we can all agree that everyone right now can use some calming. Take a deep breath and think about the crisp, refreshing air and the rustling leaves of the tree. Better?

Now, let’s get to the point. There have been a lot of thoughts on my mind lately, and as much as I have wanted to post them on social media, I have refrained from doing so. Posting there just insights drama. Plus, posting in the heat of the moment usually only stirs the pot instead of helping it. Also, I don’t want to increase the emotional overload that comes from “doom scrolling” as it just leads to feeling overwhelmed and disgruntled with the people you know. After a while, it overwhelms you so much that your brain takes a page from Buffy Summers in “Graduation Day Part 2,” and you’re left feeling like your most profound thought is “Fire bad, tree pretty.” I feel like I’m here when it comes to all the hate I currently see from people on social media.

So to get my mojo back, I’m doing a brain dump (one of my favorite mental health exercises) of things I wish people understood. Grab some popcorn, and enjoy the show!

I wish people would take time to do research instead of just posting stuff they assume is true because it is on social media. I started having this thought when I saw someone share a picture said to be depicting teaching children Satanistic practices when in reality it was a picture promoting a group with St Joseph as their patron saint. A quick Google search of news articles from the last four years and researching St Joseph could have cleared this up before getting a group of people riled up. However, this lesson can be applied to multiple areas. Learning how to research and how to learn are keys to success in life.
People who make blanket assumptions about people because they are or are not something are just as in the wrong as the people they are spreading assumptions about. I am a Christian. For me this means I worship one God, and I do my best to follow what Jesus preached which was to love one another, not judge, and seek forgiveness. In line with this, I am not going to judge anyone for their lifestyle or deny anyone basic human rights. In my opinion another’s choices are between them and God (or their deity). I say all this because there are a lot of posts right now bashing Christians for what a SMALL faction of us actually believe and practice. To lump all Christians together and say we all do or do not do something is hurtful to those of us who are just doing our best to live like Jesus asked. It’s perceived the same as comments like “You’re from X, so you must be Y and Z” or “You’re doing X so you must be Y.” Assumptions hurt, and while they may be created based on the actions of some, to lump everyone in the same category is wrong!
In regards to upcoming elections, people are so fired up about some amendments and questions on the ballots. I understand having your opinion on a matter, and I believe people should have their own opinions. However, am I the only one who thinks these topics are being brought forth with such vigor to distract from bigger problems? This one kind of ties back to doing research and examining data. For example, is it more pressing to vote a certain way or think, “Shouldn’t the continual being in the bottom percentage of X in the country be getting this level of passionate discussion?”
Places that have great potential also have to be willing to undergo great change. Diamonds come from coal undergoing A LOT of pressure. If you want something to be a diamond, then you have to be willing to go through and overcome a lot of obstacles. I’ve had a couple of experiences lately with things that could be diamonds, but are they willing to make changes? This same line of thinking has made me wonder if I could be a really good business consultant. I don’t want to manage day to day operations of anything, but I feel like I could give plans to help places move in the direction of becoming a diamond.
I’m tired of seeing articles about people who had something horrible happen to them because they were trying to take a picture to post on social media. I am sorry the horrible thing happened; however, if there wasn’t so much fame/infamy given to “social influencers” then the horrible thing may have never happened in the first place because the person wouldn’t have felt like they had to take a dangerous picture just to post it. Along this same thought, I think a discussion about mental health and social influence needs to be started. Perhaps it has been started, and I just need to do some research on the topic!

I’m sure that I could keep going, but my state has improved from “Fire Bad, Tree Pretty” with my brain dump. Thanks for indulging me!

This is a safe place, so if there is something you need to get off your mind, leave it in the comments!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Beautiful Simplicity

Have you heard of a bagatelle? At the most simple it is a beautiful piece of music that is short and light. A popular example is Fur Elise by Beethoven. Using Duolingo music, I just played a beautiful bagatelle that only consisted of four notes. While I know many songs are simplified for Duolingo purposes, the beauty and mood evoked by only four notes got me thinking: “What are some other simple yet beautiful things that can fill you with joy?”

For me, one of the simplest most beautiful things is watching a cat yawn. I’ve always thought cats, whether it be a house cat size or tiger size, are super sweet when they yawn! Watching LilKsby yawn evokes a similar feeling! Another simple thing that I find beautiful is the warmth of the sun on my face. This is my favorite feeling when out for a walk, and it fills me with peace. Bodies of water – especially those found in nature – provide the same feeling. One more thing I find to be simple and beautiful is singular strokes created by a paintbrush, pencil, charcoal, ink etc. I love all of the different ways a single stroke can be drawn. Plus, when all the single strokes come together, they create exquisite works of art! When you get to reflecting, there are many beautiful simple things!

What are some simple things that you find to be beautiful?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Reevaluation Revelation

For as long as I can remember, I have had a fear of flying. I’m not sure how the fear began as we never utilized air travel when I was growing up. Perhaps it started to manifest as a child after only seeing airplanes mentioned on the news when they had crashed or encountered some other horrific tragedy. The origin doesn’t matter much as I have insisted that I’ve been afraid to fly for years! Today, I found myself reevaluating my fear of flying, and I had the revelation that flying is actually pretty cool, and I’m not truly afraid of it! After having this revelation, I thought of a few things that might help others to reevaluate fears in their lives:

We often mix up emotions. Have you ever mistaken anxious for excited? What about afraid for unknowledgeable?
Are you actually afraid, or is it a lie your brain has told you so much that you believe it?
What is a practical step you could take to conquering a fear?

Happy reevaluating!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

What the World Needs Now

To say that a lot has happened in the world in the last 48 hours feels like an immense understatement. I’ve seen a variety of posts since yesterday with various messages regarding the events, and I keep feeling like I’ve wanted to post something. However, a single social media post often doesn’t convey exactly what I want it to say. Plus, people tend to take single posts the wrong way or use them as an excuse to start arguments. To me starting arguments is the exact opposite of what the world needs right now. As I watched Mass this evening, there were four things that came to mind the world currently needs.

First and foremost, the world needs forgiveness. When you live in a world without forgiveness, hearts become hardened. Some people need to forgive others – perhaps a neighbor, friend, or family member for a wrongdoing. They may have committed it, the other party may of committed it, and one of the parties may not even know that the wrongdoing occurred. Yet the weight of the act carries hard on the heart, and the only way to move forward is through forgiving the person. Some people also may need to forgive themselves. Often times we are our own harshest critics, and people need to learn to forgive themselves for the mistakes they made. The person you are today is not the person you were five years ago. Forgive those mistakes so that you can pursue your best life and open up your heart to the blessings that you are meant to have in your life!

Forgiveness leads directly into the second thing the world needs: love. As human beings the greatest thing that we can do is love ALL of our fellow human beings. Now let me clarify something important. You can love someone and not like the choices that they make, the beliefs they hold, etc. There is a good chance that they are making the choices that they do because they don’t feel worthy of love due to some circumstance about which you have no knowledge or because they have never been encouraged to think for themselves. The best human beings to walk the earth have always found ways to love one another. These are the humans that have the greatest and longest lasting impact. I will always support people who lead with love over people who promote hate any day!

The other two things the world needs tie heavily into showing love to one another. First and foremost, the world needs people to be a voice for those who cannot have their voice heard. One of the most important things we can do is give a voice to those who society will not listen to be it because of their age, ability level, gender, socioeconomic background, etc. Giving a voice to them shows that you love people and want to see everyone receive care! While giving a voice to those in need, it is also important to remember that the world needs to not oppress people. If you are speaking words, creating rules/regulations/laws, demonstrating actions that actively prevent people from having equal rights and choices, then you are not loving them. You are dictating what they should and should not be allowed to do, and you are passing on judgment on them. In my book, there is only one who should pass judgment, and He’s not walking among us! Do you know what He does do? Encourage loving all people no matter their race, religion, gender, sexuality, background, etc!

This is a heavy message, but it’s been on my heart, so I wanted to share. To lighten the mood, I’ll quote Burt Bacharach, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just to little of. What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No not just for some, but for everyone.”

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Another Trip Around the Sun

Photo by Sebastian Arie Voortman on Pexels.com

Tonight concludes another trip around the sun! Usually I blog on my birthday about all the great things that have happened in the last year, but this year I’m feeling a little differently – more introspective – about my birthday. Per usual I did have a list of things that I wanted to accomplish in the year, and as per usual as circumstances changed, the list changed. In the end I accomplished 24 of the 40 on the list, and I had a lot of fun throughout the year. However, more important than the fun was the personal growth that I felt came with 40, so I want to share some of my personal growth tips from the last year.

Learn to set boundaries. If you don’t learn to establish boundaries, people will walk all over you. Also, while learning to set boundaries, understand that it is a process not instantaneous.
Learn to do one thing at a time. As much as we all like to multi-task, we can only be fully present with one thing at a time.
Learn to not let the comments people make bother you to the point that you can’t focus. This is hard, but it is important to learn to do in order to avoid driving yourself crazy.
Try something new or something you haven’t done in a long time. There’s a rush that goes with learning or re-trying a skill!
Put down the phone. Boy this is a hard one that I’m trying to improve upon so that my child doesn’t believe it’s necessary to have a phone in front of your nose. When you put down the phone, you will realize how much stress being on it can cause you.
Schedules are not a bad thing. This is a struggle for me because I like to think I’m fun and do things on the fly, but the truth is that I achieve more and get more joy (because of not rushing) when things are scheduled. Plus, I love having things on the calendar to look forward to doing!
Dance like no one is watching! It’s fun!
Sing your heart out! It’s okay if you’re still belting out all of your favorite 90’s and 00’s songs!
Take one on one time with people. It allows you to connect with them on a deeper level and strengthens relationships.
Coffee, tea, and water are the best drinks on the planet! Water might be the most important, but the other two are right up there!
If you want to see change in the world, start by making a small change yourself. It’s really easy to complain about how hateful everyone in the world is, but by modeling kindness to others, you can be part of the solution.
Read a book or listen to an audiobook! There is power in the written word!
Find faith in something. For me it is God; for you it could be a blueberry muffin. I’m not going to judge what you put your faith into, but I can assure you that it is better to have faith in something than not at all.
Get outside! There is healing in nature!
Plan a trip! Then go on that trip. The world is big, and you deserve to see more than the little slice where you reside.
Purging material items that you don’t need is cathartic especially if you find a way to donate or reuse it instead of filling a landfill.
It’s okay to not believe the same things as previous generations. You’re a different person; therefore, it is okay for your viewpoints to be different.
If you influence children, teach them to actually learn things for themselves instead of believing everything they are told.
Stop believing that everything on the Internet or Social Media is true! If you see something that you’re unsure about its validity, do some research before you repost it.
Be proud of the things you have accomplished! They make you special and wonderful! Having a hard time with this? Take 10 minutes and list some of your greatest accomplishments.
Play with Legos. In fact, if you’re an adult, just find ways to play. Having fun will make your life better!
You’re never too old to look the way you want. Have blue hair! Get a nose ring! Do your thing!!!
Follow your dreams! I had always dreamed of writing and publishing, and now Mr Kisby and I have a little thing called Letters & Lore! It’s connected to this page!
Send handwritten notes to people. It takes more effort than a text or FB post, and it shows that you care.
Learn to stop comparing yourself to others. This is super hard and a work in progress, but I can assure you that if you accept who you are, you can achieve greatness!
Eat Zaxby’s. You can thank me later.
Don’t be afraid to try new things. Change might be scary, but it can also be amazing!
Do something you’ve been afraid to try. For me it was getting back on an airplane, but I had the best time last July, and I feel like I became a better person for it. Plus, it helps teach LilKsby to not be afraid.
Walk, run, jog, whatever…just get moving.
Life is short. Eat cake. Then go back to number 29.
It’s okay to stop doing things you no longer enjoy. Set it aside, and you may find that you like it if you try it again down the road.
Tell people your dreams.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help shows strength not weakness.
Relax during the holidays. Don’t get stressed out by trying to make them perfect. Enjoy them.
Unless you have a legit good reason, don’t say “no” to social invitations.
Make sure your cup is full so that you can pour into others.
Get a massage. It’s okay if you start laughing because you’re ticklish.
Always re-evaluate your goals in life. You’ll get further by allowing yourself to change.
Watch a favorite show again especially if you need a laugh!
Don’t wish time away. You can’t get it back.

That’s a lot of tips! I’ve learned a lot at 40, and I am 100% that 41 is going to be even more exciting and freeing! Much love my friends!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby