lifelessons – Page 2 – The Great Kaysby

9:09…Mission Accomplished

Like my turtle? To most people it is simply a cute turtle made from a cute craft kit. For me, this turtle symbolizes the last of my “missions” aka fun goals while I was 41. Every year, I set out to complete a number of fun things equivalent to my age for the year. Looking back on when I started with “33 While 33” I laugh to myself. In the 8 years of doing this little self fun project, I’ve learned a lot of things (in fact, I probably talked about some of these last May 7). Ready for some life lessons 8 years in the making???

Lesson 1: If you continually set goals that you are never actually willing to work towards, then you probably don’t actually want to achieve those goals, or you have not yet had the right motivation for setting said goals. In my 30s, I frequently put, “I want to lose 20 pounds as one of my goals.” Did it happen? Nope. It was one of those goals that I kept regurgitating on paper because “I thought I should.” There was never an actual purpose attached. Now that I’m older and wiser (HA HA), I realize that losing weight is a great goal, but you have to be willing to make the life changes to do so. It wasn’t until three years ago that I actually began taking steps towards being healthier (giving up soda, working to cut out artificial sweetners, increasing activity). Is the 20 pounds gone? Nope. Do I feel better? Yup! Part of that is the habit changes, and the other part of it is realizing that such a big lifestyle change is a daily process and not an “end goal”.

Lesson 2: If you set a goal on a whim, it is okay to make changes if the goal no longer fits your life’s purpose or current situation. A great example of this is one of my original goals was to do yoga on a beach. Sounds great, right? While I love yoga, and I love the beach, taking a beach vacation was not a family priority for us this year. Thus, I changed the goal to be something more in line with our priorities. By allowing myself to change the goal, I was able to achieve something fun and not feel let down for not accomplishing a fun goal!

Lesson 3: Fun goals for yourself do not have to take a lot of time. Some of my goals for this past year took 15 minutes or less to accomplish. When I do this sort of goal making, it isn’t about things that are difficult or take a long time. These goals are all about making time to do things that I enjoy. Side note, if you didn’t do 41 fun things in the last year, take some to add in some fun. Seriously, one of my goals was doing yoga in the backyard. Anyone, can take time to do yoga in the backyard! Highly recommend doing it during the full moon!

Lesson 4: Your fun goals don’t have to make sense to anyone but you. Mine covered a variety of areas from going to a Broadway show (touring of course!), creating art projects, publishing books, doing some family travel, and hiking. There were other things, but I can’t think of them right now, and my journal is in the other room. The point of this exercise is to let yourself have fun by doing things you enjoy!! No one else will ever enjoy the exact same things you do!

Lesson 5: Write about the fun things you’ve done and take pictures if you’re a visual person! It’s a lot of fun to look back at a journal or a photo album at all the fun things you accomplished in a year!

I feel like I could go and on about this year and my fun goals, but I’d really like to drink the rest of my decaf coffee and finish my bowl of watermelon. My challenge to you is this. Think about some fun goals for yourself and begin working on them before your next birthday! You’ll love the result!!!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

And Then There Were Five…

A little over a year ago, I began collaborating with Letters & Lore – a small husband and wife owned publishing company – on a little project called Matthew & Me. The idea was to create a devotional over the Gospel of Matthew that looked at the scriptures from a different point of view. The desired POV was from that of a sinner, someone who has lapsed in faith, and someone who had a lot of questions about the Gospels that maybe…just maybe…they were afraid to ask anyone they knew. From there the project spawned four more publications: Making Your Mark, Life Lessons with Luke, A Second Act with Acts, and Journeying with John. It was never intended for there to be five different publications, but you know how it is when God opens a window…sometimes you just jump through it without knowing what might happen!

During the publishing process, one of my favorite parts was creating the covers. I didn’t realize it until the third publication, but I had unintentionally given each cover and the pictures inside a theme that matches one of the four elements. When I got to thinking about what each cover represented, I realized that these matches were no accident. They were divine intention for what each Gospel means to me. Let me break it down:

Matthew – Air – the predominant feature of the cover is the sky. Much like the air we breathe, the Gospel of Matthew is poetic with a story telling nature similar to life giving breath.
Mark – Nature – the predominant feature of this cover is a meadow with trees on the edge. Like many things in nature, the Gospel of Mark is simplistic in word, but said words provide strong roots for the foundation of faith in a way that anyone can find theirselves in them.
Luke – Water – the Gospel of Luke is expansive and flowy in its words. This Gospel tells the narrative in a calm and peaceful way much like the daily flow of tides in the sea. Since it is a direct companion, A Second Act with Acts utilizes this same theme.
John – Fire – the Gospel of John makes you run a marathon of emotions, and it doesn’t hold back any punches. With John you get a raw Gospel that isn’t flowery and serene. It is impactul and motivating and lights a fire from the Holy Spirit within you! The call to action is the strongest in this Gospel!

Going into the project, I thought that the Gospel of Matthew was my favorite. However, after this intense deep dive through all four, I have found that all of them have a different purpose for different seasons of my life while all reminding of the same basics of my faith. This journey has had a lasting impact on me, and I am thankful to Letters & Lore for the opportunity to have this collaboration. You can checkout the devotionals and all of their other publications here. Side note, as a mama, I’m proud that LilKsby has also helped them with a couple of publications! Five year olds are super fun!!!

Now that this journey is complete, I can’t see what is next for me!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Face Your Giants

I have always loved to sing. As a child, my parents could locate me out in public because they would hear me singing. I didn’t care who heard me. Moving into teenage and young adult years, I sang a lot of karaoke even one time on stage at Kings Island! But somewhere along the way, I began to believe that I couldn’t sing solo in front of people. I believe it began with auditions for musicals. There was always something terrifying to me about singing a song you barely knew in front of a bunch of other people. Over time the fear became a giant.

Fast forward to becoming a parent. One thing I have noticed is that our children will take on our fears if we aren’t careful. From this I decided that I didn’t want LilKsby to ever feel like he shouldn’t try something fun because it feels a little scary. So I decided that I need to sing a solo and face my giant.

Tonight I did just that! For the first time, I sang two solos as part of our church choir’s Easter Vigil numbers. When I volunteered, I thought the lights would be off when I sang, and that I would only have to go up on stage for one of them. Well, it turned out that the lights were on, and I had to go on stage twice. But guess what? Even with my heart racing, it was great!!! I could picture myself doing it again in the future. 🙂

So how did I face my giant? One, I spent time practicing outside of rehearsals. I practiced with my keyboard and videos. Two, I shared videos of my practicing with those who could provide constructive feedback. Three, I spent a lot of time visualizing how singing in front of everyone would look. Four, I prayed over it…a lot! Was it work? Yes. Was it worth it? YES!

What giant do you need to face?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Heart School

When we began homeschooling, I knew that I wanted to teach our child a variety of topics: reading, math, music, art, writing, drama, poetry, history, science, Catholic life, etc. What I didn’t know at the time is how much I would love teaching LilKsby lessons of the heart. Throughout our Kindergarten year, we have had the opportunity to dig into different emotions and life lessons using literature (side note…I love our Literature Based Curriculum with Sonlight), field trips, and friendships. It’s like instead of homeschool, we have heart school.

What do I mean? Instead of just learning the academics (which he is), he is learning things like how to help the hungry, ways to give to those who may not have necessities, and how to interact with ALL (capitalized for emphasis) people. He’s learning how to make people feel important; he’s learning to show love to everyone (always doing it is a different work in progress). He also understands why things like putting someone in a hole because of their beliefs is wrong, and he likes to have conversations about why people would do this or other bad things. Sometimes when we are having these heart school moments, I forget that I’m talking to someone in Kindergarten! It’s also these moments that remind of why exactly we are on our heart school journey!

I know that everyone begins a homeschool journey for different reasons. Some of them are positive, some of them are negative, and some are in between. However, no matter the journey, most have one thing in common: parents wanting what is best for their children. This is a very personalized answer that also has to come from the heart. For us, we wanted to raise a child by our priorities and what we feel to be the most important aspects of personal growth. If you know us, then you know that means a lot of heart lessons (and caffiene)!

If you have ever considered homeschooling, or you have questions about it, I encourage you to reachout to someone in your community who is doing it. Questions about curriculum? I highly recommend checking out Sonlight by clicking here (this is an affiliate link, and I may receive compensation for purchases made using it) and trying their literacy based curriculum. I wouldn’t recommend it if we didn’t love it! I hope that you are able to have the heart school your family needs!

XOXO,
The Great Kaysby

A Little Day Musing

Photo by Andrey Grushnikov on Pexels.com

What’s up? What’s on your mind today? I don’t know about you, but I have had a LOT of things on my mind lately. Can anyone else to relate to 2025 feeling like the longest year ever while time has also been flying by? I realize that seems contradictory, but I’m finding it to be very true. Usually, for me this feeling happens when there are a lot of big events happening, but also not a lot in the daily life outside of our normal routine. I like to call it the “hurry up and wait routine.” This is a routine I dislike (it’s like waiting for the other to shoe to drop except the events your waiting for aren’t always negative) because I feel like sometimes it can cause you to miss out on the little things that are happening. One thing I have started doing this year, is recording the little things that bring joy on a piece of paper and putting them in a big vase. At the end of the year when I get retrospective (because don’t we all start doing that for NYE?), I can look back on all the good things that happened. I’m pretty excited about this, and I get excited when I add things to the jar!

Anyway…that’s not exactly what I intended to write, but I guess I needed to let it out. I intended to share some random musings that have been on my mind lately. In my usual fashion, there’s going to be a list! Grab some popcorn, sit back, and enjoy!

Musing #1 – The number of hex keys you have might be directly related to the number of pieces of IKEA furniture you have assembled. It’s really nice of them to always include the hex key, but my toolbag doesn’t need to be a constant reminder of the amount of money that I’ve spent at IKEA over the years! LOL

Musing #2 – I had a great quote shared with me recently. I don’t where it is from, but it says: “Somebody said, “worrying is like worshipping the problem” and wow.” Can we talk about a mic drop quote? As someone who strives to live faith first, but is also a worrier (usually about things out of my control, and yes I have coping strategies in place) this was a big eye opener. So this week, any time I start to worry, I’ve tried to find positive in the situation.

Musing #3 – Sometimes watching people, pets, etc get old really sucks. However, it is a blessing to realize how lucky you are to have people, pets, etc who love you and you love.

Musing #4 – SNL 50 had some hysterical moments! I never really watched a lot of SNL, but I’m glad I checked out some videos. They brought a lot of laughs! I was team MadTV growing up. I still laugh at those skits too!

Musing #5 – Silence isn’t always complacency; silence can be a means of selfpreservation. This one has been on my mind a lot. Some people like to assume that if you’re silent about hot button topics on social media, then you’re secretly for said topic. However, for some of us not constantly engaging in battle via a keyboard is an important means of keeping our shit together. I’ll take good mental health over arguing with people on the Internet any day!!!

Musing #6 – I hope that people are always able to find joy in something. I know not everyone is going to be like me and get super excited about the littlest things, but I hope everyone in the world has something that brings them joy. If the don’t, then I hope they can find it! In case you’re curious, this morning I was excited by a volcano, and this afternoon I’m excited to spend some quality time with my sewing machine. ❤ The other day I got excited about finding a lampshade on sale! Which reminds me that I need to go find a light bulb since the lamp is for my sewing table.

Musing #7 – It’s okay to have a bad day. I feel like a lot of times we don’t give ourselves permission to have bad days. Even though it has been 14 years since my grandmother passed, January 21 can still be a hard day. However, even the worst days can still have positive outcomes. Yes, I lost my grandma on January 21, and I was deeply saddened and still miss her; however, she was finally out of pain that day and at peace which brings me great joy and relief for her. Likewise, having a miscarriage was extremely sorrowful, but it showed me just how much I wanted to be a mama and that my body was capable of the miracle that is creating life. I really believe that loss made me love our Sweet Boy even more!

Musing #8 – I love snow, and I think it is fun that we’ve had so much this winter. However, we have a lot of events in the next couple of weeks, and I’ve started getting some really cool water park ads. So even though I strongly dislike being hot and sweaty, I’m ready to move forward. Thanks for the snow, Mother Nature. But I’m ready to get outside and start enjoying some sunshine!

Musing #9 – Books are cool! For our schooling, we use A LOT of what are called living books. I love learning right alongside LilKsby, and it is really fun to talk about previous books when we’re reading a new book. I also love that he’s gotten hooked on the sweetest series called Heartwood Hotel (they are not paying me to mention it). Additionally, books teach us, provide entertainment, and allow us to go places we never would be able to see! Books rock!

There are my current musings. What are you musing about today?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Life Lessons with Luke

Surprise! I’m working on another collaboration with Letters & Lore! As I work on putting together a third devotional for publication, I felt led to share some thoughts with you. Sit, back, relax, and join me for a trip inside my brain!

Luke 4:8 says: “Jesus answered, “It is written: Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.” How many people today are worshiping false idols? How many people are serving those with earthly power and their deeds instead of putting their faith in God? How many people are falling for sensationalized media instead of falling into the Word of God? How many people are struggling to worship and serve God because they feel helpless in the turbulance of this world?

Luke 5:8 says: “When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” Me too Peter, me too! I can’t speak for everyone, but I know that I am a sinner. For a period of my life, I did like Peter said he was going to do, and I went away from the Lord. However, as I got older and found my way back to Him after experiencing MUCH TRAGEDY, I realized that the Lord never left me even when I was at my most sinful. He was there in the background the whole time making sure that I would inevitably come out okay. I say this to give everyone hope. Even if you feel that you have lost the Lord in your life because you feel that you are unworthy of his forgiveness because your sins are too many and too grave, He will welcome you back. Don’t let your past interactions with or feelings of being judged by earthly people keep you from seeking a relationship with Jesus!

Luke 6:37-38 says: “Do not judge others, and God will not judge you; do not condemn others, and God will not condemn you; forgive others, and God will forgive you. Give to others, and God will give to you.” Read it again. Now read it again. One more time for good measure! Take a good look at your actions, words, social media posts, etc. Have you been judging people based on their religious beliefs, gender, political affiliations, sexuality, race, socioeconomic background, etc? What judgments have you made for which you need to pray for God’s forgiveness? How can you begin to live as Jesus instructed?

I share all of this with the intention of spreading hope. Am I the best at always going to church? No. Do I slip even though I believe in the Blessed Three? Yup! Do I think that you can have a relationship with God just by digging into His Word on your own and living in accordance with the teachings of Jesus? Yup! That’s why when this collaborative opportunity arose, I felt called to accept it.

Now to resume drafting the publication of Life Lessons with Luke! In the meantime, you can checkout Matthew & Me and Making Your Mark on letterslore.com.

Have an abundantly blessed week!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

“Fire Bad, Tree Pretty”

Here is a pretty picture of a tree. I thought I would lead with a picture of a tree because those seem to get a lot of attention in the fall. Plus, there’s something about pretty trees that provides a calming effect. I’m sure we can all agree that everyone right now can use some calming. Take a deep breath and think about the crisp, refreshing air and the rustling leaves of the tree. Better?

Now, let’s get to the point. There have been a lot of thoughts on my mind lately, and as much as I have wanted to post them on social media, I have refrained from doing so. Posting there just insights drama. Plus, posting in the heat of the moment usually only stirs the pot instead of helping it. Also, I don’t want to increase the emotional overload that comes from “doom scrolling” as it just leads to feeling overwhelmed and disgruntled with the people you know. After a while, it overwhelms you so much that your brain takes a page from Buffy Summers in “Graduation Day Part 2,” and you’re left feeling like your most profound thought is “Fire bad, tree pretty.” I feel like I’m here when it comes to all the hate I currently see from people on social media.

So to get my mojo back, I’m doing a brain dump (one of my favorite mental health exercises) of things I wish people understood. Grab some popcorn, and enjoy the show!

I wish people would take time to do research instead of just posting stuff they assume is true because it is on social media. I started having this thought when I saw someone share a picture said to be depicting teaching children Satanistic practices when in reality it was a picture promoting a group with St Joseph as their patron saint. A quick Google search of news articles from the last four years and researching St Joseph could have cleared this up before getting a group of people riled up. However, this lesson can be applied to multiple areas. Learning how to research and how to learn are keys to success in life.
People who make blanket assumptions about people because they are or are not something are just as in the wrong as the people they are spreading assumptions about. I am a Christian. For me this means I worship one God, and I do my best to follow what Jesus preached which was to love one another, not judge, and seek forgiveness. In line with this, I am not going to judge anyone for their lifestyle or deny anyone basic human rights. In my opinion another’s choices are between them and God (or their deity). I say all this because there are a lot of posts right now bashing Christians for what a SMALL faction of us actually believe and practice. To lump all Christians together and say we all do or do not do something is hurtful to those of us who are just doing our best to live like Jesus asked. It’s perceived the same as comments like “You’re from X, so you must be Y and Z” or “You’re doing X so you must be Y.” Assumptions hurt, and while they may be created based on the actions of some, to lump everyone in the same category is wrong!
In regards to upcoming elections, people are so fired up about some amendments and questions on the ballots. I understand having your opinion on a matter, and I believe people should have their own opinions. However, am I the only one who thinks these topics are being brought forth with such vigor to distract from bigger problems? This one kind of ties back to doing research and examining data. For example, is it more pressing to vote a certain way or think, “Shouldn’t the continual being in the bottom percentage of X in the country be getting this level of passionate discussion?”
Places that have great potential also have to be willing to undergo great change. Diamonds come from coal undergoing A LOT of pressure. If you want something to be a diamond, then you have to be willing to go through and overcome a lot of obstacles. I’ve had a couple of experiences lately with things that could be diamonds, but are they willing to make changes? This same line of thinking has made me wonder if I could be a really good business consultant. I don’t want to manage day to day operations of anything, but I feel like I could give plans to help places move in the direction of becoming a diamond.
I’m tired of seeing articles about people who had something horrible happen to them because they were trying to take a picture to post on social media. I am sorry the horrible thing happened; however, if there wasn’t so much fame/infamy given to “social influencers” then the horrible thing may have never happened in the first place because the person wouldn’t have felt like they had to take a dangerous picture just to post it. Along this same thought, I think a discussion about mental health and social influence needs to be started. Perhaps it has been started, and I just need to do some research on the topic!

I’m sure that I could keep going, but my state has improved from “Fire Bad, Tree Pretty” with my brain dump. Thanks for indulging me!

This is a safe place, so if there is something you need to get off your mind, leave it in the comments!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Beautiful Simplicity

Have you heard of a bagatelle? At the most simple it is a beautiful piece of music that is short and light. A popular example is Fur Elise by Beethoven. Using Duolingo music, I just played a beautiful bagatelle that only consisted of four notes. While I know many songs are simplified for Duolingo purposes, the beauty and mood evoked by only four notes got me thinking: “What are some other simple yet beautiful things that can fill you with joy?”

For me, one of the simplest most beautiful things is watching a cat yawn. I’ve always thought cats, whether it be a house cat size or tiger size, are super sweet when they yawn! Watching LilKsby yawn evokes a similar feeling! Another simple thing that I find beautiful is the warmth of the sun on my face. This is my favorite feeling when out for a walk, and it fills me with peace. Bodies of water – especially those found in nature – provide the same feeling. One more thing I find to be simple and beautiful is singular strokes created by a paintbrush, pencil, charcoal, ink etc. I love all of the different ways a single stroke can be drawn. Plus, when all the single strokes come together, they create exquisite works of art! When you get to reflecting, there are many beautiful simple things!

What are some simple things that you find to be beautiful?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Reevaluation Revelation

For as long as I can remember, I have had a fear of flying. I’m not sure how the fear began as we never utilized air travel when I was growing up. Perhaps it started to manifest as a child after only seeing airplanes mentioned on the news when they had crashed or encountered some other horrific tragedy. The origin doesn’t matter much as I have insisted that I’ve been afraid to fly for years! Today, I found myself reevaluating my fear of flying, and I had the revelation that flying is actually pretty cool, and I’m not truly afraid of it! After having this revelation, I thought of a few things that might help others to reevaluate fears in their lives:

We often mix up emotions. Have you ever mistaken anxious for excited? What about afraid for unknowledgeable?
Are you actually afraid, or is it a lie your brain has told you so much that you believe it?
What is a practical step you could take to conquering a fear?

Happy reevaluating!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

A Strong Leader…

A strong leader is someone who is willing to recognize their abilities may not be up to par any more and step aside so that someone more capable can take over the role. I can’t think of any better example of strong leadership than those who are willing to set their pride aside for the better of the group they are leading. This is the gist of my thoughts since President Biden decided to step down from the 2024 Presidential Election yesterday. While I know there people who are going to make negative comments because of their personal opinions, I believe that we can all learn from President Biden’s actions. We may not all be in charge of a country, but we all find ourselves involved with jobs, organizations, etc where we eventually realize that our leadership or fulfillment of duties is no longer up to par. The question then becomes, do you step aside and allow someone more able to take your place, or do you continue holding the position though you are inadequate?

If you opt to step aside, it tells me that you believe in the mission you had set out to achieve, and you want it to be obtained even if your name is no longer attached. Those who are willing to step aside recognize that their continued leadership could be more of a hindrance than a help. Additionally, be willing to step aside shows that the person who steps aside generally wants what is best for the people who are involved. On the flip side, is the leader who refuses to step aside even if they are being a detriment to the organization’s goals or mission. The image that immediately comes to mind when thinking about this kind of leader is a boat captain watching his ship go up in flames as opposed to grabbing a fire extinguisher! This is the kind of leader that cares more about having power than how their actions impact the group as a whole. When looking at it from these perspectives, then you would think it would make sense to be the first leader. But…

How many people have remained CEO after their decisions were no longer best for most involved?

How many people have continued with a club or organization after they no longer really cared?

How many people have continued to coach a team even when they were no longer effective?

It’s actually easier to keep pushing forward because it doesn’t involve admitting you are no longer the best for the job. Many of us have been taught that stepping aside is a sign of weakness, and that admitting we were not good at something is a sign of weakness. The reality is being willing to admit you’re the wrong fit shows strength as a leader!

So to all of those out there leading a team, I hope that you’re doing what’s best not just for you but for your whole organization!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

What the World Needs Now

To say that a lot has happened in the world in the last 48 hours feels like an immense understatement. I’ve seen a variety of posts since yesterday with various messages regarding the events, and I keep feeling like I’ve wanted to post something. However, a single social media post often doesn’t convey exactly what I want it to say. Plus, people tend to take single posts the wrong way or use them as an excuse to start arguments. To me starting arguments is the exact opposite of what the world needs right now. As I watched Mass this evening, there were four things that came to mind the world currently needs.

First and foremost, the world needs forgiveness. When you live in a world without forgiveness, hearts become hardened. Some people need to forgive others – perhaps a neighbor, friend, or family member for a wrongdoing. They may have committed it, the other party may of committed it, and one of the parties may not even know that the wrongdoing occurred. Yet the weight of the act carries hard on the heart, and the only way to move forward is through forgiving the person. Some people also may need to forgive themselves. Often times we are our own harshest critics, and people need to learn to forgive themselves for the mistakes they made. The person you are today is not the person you were five years ago. Forgive those mistakes so that you can pursue your best life and open up your heart to the blessings that you are meant to have in your life!

Forgiveness leads directly into the second thing the world needs: love. As human beings the greatest thing that we can do is love ALL of our fellow human beings. Now let me clarify something important. You can love someone and not like the choices that they make, the beliefs they hold, etc. There is a good chance that they are making the choices that they do because they don’t feel worthy of love due to some circumstance about which you have no knowledge or because they have never been encouraged to think for themselves. The best human beings to walk the earth have always found ways to love one another. These are the humans that have the greatest and longest lasting impact. I will always support people who lead with love over people who promote hate any day!

The other two things the world needs tie heavily into showing love to one another. First and foremost, the world needs people to be a voice for those who cannot have their voice heard. One of the most important things we can do is give a voice to those who society will not listen to be it because of their age, ability level, gender, socioeconomic background, etc. Giving a voice to them shows that you love people and want to see everyone receive care! While giving a voice to those in need, it is also important to remember that the world needs to not oppress people. If you are speaking words, creating rules/regulations/laws, demonstrating actions that actively prevent people from having equal rights and choices, then you are not loving them. You are dictating what they should and should not be allowed to do, and you are passing on judgment on them. In my book, there is only one who should pass judgment, and He’s not walking among us! Do you know what He does do? Encourage loving all people no matter their race, religion, gender, sexuality, background, etc!

This is a heavy message, but it’s been on my heart, so I wanted to share. To lighten the mood, I’ll quote Burt Bacharach, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just to little of. What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No not just for some, but for everyone.”

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Help Wanted: Stay At Home Parent

Remember the days of classified ads in the newspaper? They would have “Help Wanted” in giant lettering followed by a quick job description. The descriptions were usually vague, but they gave enough info to tell you whether or not you should submit a resume or make a call. As time evolved and more jobs went to being listed online, the descriptions became more detailed. My favorite part was always “additional duties as needed” because that usually meant something you would never willingly want to do. However, those job descriptions at least gave people a detailed idea of what to except. Plus, anyone can lookup an online job description and have a general idea of what a person in a specific job does. Lately, I’ve been thinking about my job of Stay At Home Parent, and I’ve realized that many people have no idea just what all a stay at home parent does.

To the outside world, sometimes I believe people think that my life as a stay at home parent predominantly involves going fun places, posting a lot on social media, and playing all day. While we do go a lot of places, I can assure you that if I’m posting an abundant amount it means someone is sick, and I’m sitting and snuggling them all day. Also, while we play a lot, there is a lot of butting heads too especially since LilKsby seems to have both of mine and Mr Kisby’s stubbornness and sass. Thus, for the outside world, here’s a little “job description” of my life as a stay at home parent (note that each stay at home parents job will vary).

Skill Requirements – flexibility, patience, kindness, loving heart, ability to say I’m sorry, ability to forgive, playfulness, planner of trips/activities, and more!
Appointment Maker – includes but is not limited to scheduling doctors appointments, dental checkups, eye exams, playdates, home maintenance/repairs, car maintenance/repairs, special events, and services such as large item trash pickup. This duty requires some organizational skills and a good planner/calendar.
Household Tasks – includes but is not limited to vacuuming, sweeping, dishes, some laundry, some cooking, scooping poop (we have cats…no people are pooping on the floor), straightening rooms, cleaning out expired items, packing up items for donation/yard sale, ordering groceries, and preparing for vacations. This duty can be gross and requires much patience if you don’t like cleaning.
Chauffeur/Runner – includes but is not limited to driving people, pets, or vehicles to appointments, running errands, driving to Parent & Kid Groups, and driving to various activities. Having a good concept of where things are located with and without GPS is a necessity for this duty!
Caretaker – includes but is not limited to giving snuggles and hugs for boo boos, special care when a household member is sick, making sure wellness needs are met for people and pets, and ensuring people feel loved and appreciated. Knowing your family’s love languages helps.
Homeschool Teacher (this one may not be for everyone, but it is for us) – includes but is not limited to curriculum planning, implementing instructional time, researching best practices and methodologies, attending homeschool functions, assessing progress, and attending conventions to further your own abilities

In addition to the basic duties, I’ve also added to my stay at home parent plate by working independent contractor jobs from home. If you’re wondering how do I balance it all, here is the answer: I don’t. Some months I hardly touch the work from home part which can leave me scrambling near the end of month or coming up shorter than desired. However, when striving to live faith, family, career (which is 100% a constant work in progress because it can be HARD to put faith and family before personal career goals after spending 21 years in the workplace). Also, I’ve added the duty of gardener because I feel it is important for LilKsby to know how to grow his own vegetables (the flowers are because they are pretty). The biggest duty and one of the most difficult is finding just five minutes a day to do something for yourself. Like any other job, being a stay at home parent requires sacrifice. Many times you sacrifice the things you want to do for the benefit of others. However, it is important to never lose sight of doing things you enjoy. So take a few minutes to play that video game, read a book, watch TV, put together your adult Legos, write, pursue an artistic endeavor…do something that makes you who you were created to be!!!

So there you have it: a Stay at Home Parent Job description. Is it complete? Nope. Something will always get added. However, it does provide a glimpse of what all the job entails. To all the stay at home parents, you’re doing a great job!!!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Another Trip Around the Sun

Photo by Sebastian Arie Voortman on Pexels.com

Tonight concludes another trip around the sun! Usually I blog on my birthday about all the great things that have happened in the last year, but this year I’m feeling a little differently – more introspective – about my birthday. Per usual I did have a list of things that I wanted to accomplish in the year, and as per usual as circumstances changed, the list changed. In the end I accomplished 24 of the 40 on the list, and I had a lot of fun throughout the year. However, more important than the fun was the personal growth that I felt came with 40, so I want to share some of my personal growth tips from the last year.

Learn to set boundaries. If you don’t learn to establish boundaries, people will walk all over you. Also, while learning to set boundaries, understand that it is a process not instantaneous.
Learn to do one thing at a time. As much as we all like to multi-task, we can only be fully present with one thing at a time.
Learn to not let the comments people make bother you to the point that you can’t focus. This is hard, but it is important to learn to do in order to avoid driving yourself crazy.
Try something new or something you haven’t done in a long time. There’s a rush that goes with learning or re-trying a skill!
Put down the phone. Boy this is a hard one that I’m trying to improve upon so that my child doesn’t believe it’s necessary to have a phone in front of your nose. When you put down the phone, you will realize how much stress being on it can cause you.
Schedules are not a bad thing. This is a struggle for me because I like to think I’m fun and do things on the fly, but the truth is that I achieve more and get more joy (because of not rushing) when things are scheduled. Plus, I love having things on the calendar to look forward to doing!
Dance like no one is watching! It’s fun!
Sing your heart out! It’s okay if you’re still belting out all of your favorite 90’s and 00’s songs!
Take one on one time with people. It allows you to connect with them on a deeper level and strengthens relationships.
Coffee, tea, and water are the best drinks on the planet! Water might be the most important, but the other two are right up there!
If you want to see change in the world, start by making a small change yourself. It’s really easy to complain about how hateful everyone in the world is, but by modeling kindness to others, you can be part of the solution.
Read a book or listen to an audiobook! There is power in the written word!
Find faith in something. For me it is God; for you it could be a blueberry muffin. I’m not going to judge what you put your faith into, but I can assure you that it is better to have faith in something than not at all.
Get outside! There is healing in nature!
Plan a trip! Then go on that trip. The world is big, and you deserve to see more than the little slice where you reside.
Purging material items that you don’t need is cathartic especially if you find a way to donate or reuse it instead of filling a landfill.
It’s okay to not believe the same things as previous generations. You’re a different person; therefore, it is okay for your viewpoints to be different.
If you influence children, teach them to actually learn things for themselves instead of believing everything they are told.
Stop believing that everything on the Internet or Social Media is true! If you see something that you’re unsure about its validity, do some research before you repost it.
Be proud of the things you have accomplished! They make you special and wonderful! Having a hard time with this? Take 10 minutes and list some of your greatest accomplishments.
Play with Legos. In fact, if you’re an adult, just find ways to play. Having fun will make your life better!
You’re never too old to look the way you want. Have blue hair! Get a nose ring! Do your thing!!!
Follow your dreams! I had always dreamed of writing and publishing, and now Mr Kisby and I have a little thing called Letters & Lore! It’s connected to this page!
Send handwritten notes to people. It takes more effort than a text or FB post, and it shows that you care.
Learn to stop comparing yourself to others. This is super hard and a work in progress, but I can assure you that if you accept who you are, you can achieve greatness!
Eat Zaxby’s. You can thank me later.
Don’t be afraid to try new things. Change might be scary, but it can also be amazing!
Do something you’ve been afraid to try. For me it was getting back on an airplane, but I had the best time last July, and I feel like I became a better person for it. Plus, it helps teach LilKsby to not be afraid.
Walk, run, jog, whatever…just get moving.
Life is short. Eat cake. Then go back to number 29.
It’s okay to stop doing things you no longer enjoy. Set it aside, and you may find that you like it if you try it again down the road.
Tell people your dreams.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help shows strength not weakness.
Relax during the holidays. Don’t get stressed out by trying to make them perfect. Enjoy them.
Unless you have a legit good reason, don’t say “no” to social invitations.
Make sure your cup is full so that you can pour into others.
Get a massage. It’s okay if you start laughing because you’re ticklish.
Always re-evaluate your goals in life. You’ll get further by allowing yourself to change.
Watch a favorite show again especially if you need a laugh!
Don’t wish time away. You can’t get it back.

That’s a lot of tips! I’ve learned a lot at 40, and I am 100% that 41 is going to be even more exciting and freeing! Much love my friends!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

10 Things To Try This Spring

Birds are singing, flowers are blooming, and trees are blossoming with new life! We’ve been waiting for it for what feels like forever even though in reality it was a few weeks, and now Spring is finally here! If you’re like me and thinking what to do this Spring, then this Top 10 list is for you! Presenting…10 Things To Try This Spring!

Take a walk around where you live. This may sound basic but Spring is a great time to see what has changed since you were last able to go for walks in the Summer or Fall. The walk will be relaxing because it is in a familiar setting, and you also might get some inspiration for outside your own home!
Look up a trail nearby that you’ve never hiked and hike it! I love to hike on trails in the Spring and Fall. Of course you have to understand that in Summer, I sweat like it is nobody’s business just walking out the door. So the weather in Spring and Fall makes for my perfect hiking climate. I like to hike in the Spring because you get to see all of the life returning to nature. Plus, it’s usually cool up into the day during the Spring which again prevents sweating!
Splash in some mud puddles! If you live somewhere that it rains a decent amount, go outside after it is finished (or when it is raining) and splash through some puddles. You’re going to get wet, but your shoes will dry, and you can change your socks. There’s a childlike joy that comes with splashing in puddles, and we can all use a little childlike joy.
Go for a country drive! I know gas is pricey, but think about it in comparison to buying a bunch of tickets for something. With that perspective the price isn’t so bad! Since I grew up in the middle of nowhere, I’ve always found country drives on winding roads that are surrounded by fields to be relaxing. Plus, there is something so soothing about having the windows down and jamming out to the radio!
Checkout a State Park! I can’t speak for every state, but where I live there is a great state park system. Most of these have a variety of activities, and typically one can be found relatively close to home. We love to walk along the water and hunt for fossils if the water is down, and we also enjoy relaxing in a cabin.
Plant flowers! I love planting flowers! They instantly beautify your surroundings and perk up your mood. Plus, there are great health benefits when you have house plants. I’ve got my little indoor garden in my office, and it frequently perks me up!
Declutter! Spring cleaning is not fun when you think of it in terms of dusting, washing baseboards, shampooing carpets, etc. However, decluttering can be a lot of fun! There is something refreshing and rewarding about getting rid of items you no longer need and passing them on to someone who can use them!
Plan for the future! What better time to rethink your dream vision of your future than Spring when new life is all around you? Make lists of trips you’d like to take, foods you would like to try, movies you want to see, etc. Anything can be on your list, and don’t be afraid to dream big!!!
Reconnect with people! Do you ever find yourself thinking that you wish you talked to someone more? Reach out to them! Send them a “I was thinking about you, I hope you’re doing well.” It doesn’t have to be a big connection, but it will most likely make them feel important.
Try something new for your health. This can be exercising more, getting a long over do checkup, treating yourself to a massage, changing your eating habits, drinking more water, etc. Improving your health is the key to getting to do everything else on your list!

What would be on your list of 10 Things To Try This Spring?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Can’t Repeat the Past, But…

F Scott Fitzgerald famously had his character Jay Gatsby say, “Can’t repeat the past? Why of course you can. Of course you can!” As anyone who has read The Great Gatsby knows, you can’t repeat the past, and if you live permanently trying to recreate the past, then it is never going to work out as planned. That said, you can’t repeat the past, but you can revisit things you used to enjoy immensely!

Many moons ago, I was involved in a little game called Amtgard. The easiest way to describe it to those not involved is Medieval Reenactment. I met my husband and a lot of my adulthood friends through this game (though some of us were teenagers when we met), and though I still chat with some of the friends, I don’t see them every week like I once did. There was a point in our lives when we were involved with this game multiple times a week, then it dwindled down to a handful of times a year, and eventually we stopped participating approximately seven years ago.

Enter this weekend.

A couple of our friends – one of the most wonderful couples you will ever encounter – were getting knighted which is the pinnacle of achievement in the game of Amtgard. These are friends that we have kept in contact with over the years and occasionally see, so when they told us they were going to be getting knighted, we wanted to be there for it. Leading up to the weekend, we were excited, but we had no idea what to expect. We had no idea if we would see people we know, if we would feel out of place, or if the game would be so different that we wouldn’t recognize because as we know, “You can’t repeat the past.”

Turns out you can’t repeat the past, but you can still revisit the things you have to do and discover that it is an enjoyable experience! Much to our surprise, as soon as we walked over to the event area, we saw people that we knew from seven plus years ago, and we were welcomed with hugs and “How are you? It’s been too long!” It felt heartwarming to be made to feel wanted and missed. As we caught up with friends, walked around the site, and chowed down on some delicious food truck selections, we fit right in with everything else happening. Imagine being just another piece of a puzzle that clicks right in with the whole and adds to the picture. It felt familiar, relaxing, and most importantly fun! Side note, I think a lot of adults need to remember how to have fun!!!

So was the game different? Yes, it was. However, from what we observed in our short time there, it seemed as though the changes were for the good. Like why was I never given a Reeve Stick when I was Reeving all the time? The answer is probably because I would have smacked someone with it if they got too close to me! Also, I remember we used to always not enjoy Court, but this time it was so much fun and so much thought went into the creation of the awards. Seeing the progress was great!

That said, I want to write all this down because I think it is important for me to remember this feeling. While you can’t repeat the past, you can still find joy in the things your previously loved, and you can consider doing them more frequently than every seven years!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby