lilksby – The Great Kaysby

Can You Really Have Just One?

Daily writing prompt

What’s your all-time favorite album?

I applaud all of the responses I have read where people can pick one favorite album of all time! My immediate thought with this question was, “I can’t pick just one!” There are so many albums that have been influential at different times in my life, and I still listen to the majority of them when the mood strikes. Of course that is the thing that I love the most about music: how it impacts us differently at various points in life and always seems to come into our lives when we need it the most. So instead of choosing one album, I’m opting to reflect on a few that have been an intregal part of my life.

Millennium – Backstreet Boys – 1999 – I cannot tell you how many times I have listened to this album in the last 26 years. To say that I was (am) a BSB fan would be an understatement. There was something about this album in particular that was magical. “The Perfect Fan” was the sweetest homage to moms, and I loved that my mom got to hear it in person at their concert that year right around her birthday. “Spanish Eyes” was beautiful, but it became more important when my future husband was singing it in my car one day. Yes, I was VERY impressed by Mr. Kisby’s ability to sing unreleased BSB songs!!! “Don’t Want You Back” was the anthem for so many relationships over the years, and “Larger Than Life” made us all think we had a chance at “making it” with a member of the band. HA HA Most of us were wrong! Sadly, I did not shell out the $1,000+ it would have cost to see them at The Sphere. Feeding the family comes before flying to Vegas! I’m sure that would have been an incredible experience! If only one of them wanted to give me tickets and backstage passess…I could totally become an official BSB blogger! HINT HINT
William Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet Soundtrack – 1996 – When I say I have seen this movie at least 16 times, I am not at all exagerating. It was a brilliant retelling of the story in a modern setting with a soundtrack that exemplified what mid-90s music was all about! There were alt rock numbers, adult contemporary numbers, a Prince song in a gospel style, and of course Des’ree’s OUTSTANDING “Kissing You”! I listened to that CD until it was scratched beyond being able to play everything. I could tell you exactly where songs were used in the movie, and when I listened to it, I felt the passion and emotions portrayed by the characters. How tear jerking was that ending? Baz Luhrmann is such a genius at making you think characters have hope before yanking it all out from under you!
Bat Out of Hell – Meat Loaf – 1977 – I was not born when this album was released, but in my teenage years this album became synonymous with family roadtrips. The lyrics were beatiful and the music was banging! As I grew up, the songs became more and more relatable. Like, how hauntingly accurate is “Two Out of Three Aint’ Bad” with “I want you, I need you, but there ain’t no way I’m every going to love you”? Also, “Paradise By the Dashboard” lights was iconic! Nothing left to the imagination there as they went for the line drive up the middle! The titular song was also amazing! Those riffs!
Reputation – Taylor Swift – 2017 – I loved how this album transistioned Taylor from young adult country/pop to relatable themes that so many of us experience as adults. I for one love the lyric “the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now because she’s dead.” I feel like a lot of people were shocked by this lyrical choice, but I think it is a highly accurate portrayal of growing older. Frankly, I am very glad to not be the me that I was when I was 18 or in my early 20s. Personal growth like that mentioned in the song is how I’ve become the person I love today! This was also the first Taylor Swift album that I could listen to on repeat, and it was the last concert we saw before finding out that LilKsby was going to be joining our family!
The Greatest Hits Volume 1: 20 Good Vibrations – The Beach Boys – 1995 – I have also listened to this album over and over again! My love of the Beach Boys began when I was about five, and I would listen to my dad’s cassettes. I knew the lyrics to songs like Surfin’ USA before I could read! By the time I was a teenager, I loved this album even more because of the poinancy of many of the lyrics as well as the unmatchable musical genius of Brian Wilson (may he RIP). Brian could bring things to life musically that most of us could never dream of creating! That album introduced me to “Sloop John B” and “God Only Knows” both of which have become two of my favorite Beach Boys songs. Plus, “Kokomo” featuring John Stamos and that video with the pink tank top. Drummers who can sing are hot, mmmkay? I really wish I could have seen Dennis Wilson perform while he was alive. Added bonus, the songs from this album are also what got LilKsby hooked on the Beach Boys too! Timeless!
Honorable Mentions – these are albums that I may not listen to as much, but they have definitely had a lasting impact on my life either because of the moving scores or life event significance: Beetlejuice Soundtrack, Titanic Soundtrack, Clueless Soundtrack, Hamilton Soundtrack (seriously, right after you’ve had a child, “Dear Theodosia” will make you cry your eyes out), Rocky Horror Picture Show Soundtrack, Josie and the Pussycats Soundtrack, American Wedding Soundtrack, Backstreet Boys’ DNA, Rent Soundtrack, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer The Musical Soundtrack. I could talk about each of these, but this blog is already too long!

Can you pick just one favorite album?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Truth About Happiness

A couple months ago, someone told me that they think happiness is a scam. However, even after enduring some MEGA unhappiness in May and June, I still don’t think happiness is a scam. I also believe that happiness is more than a mat that sits in a doorway (if you were a teen in the 90s, I hope you get that reference)! However, I will agree that we are taught a lot of false things about happiness. One of the biggest is that happy people are happy all the time. As a generally happy/excitable person, I can assure that this is not true. Happy people also feel a full gamut of other emotions. Trust me, I can be all kinds of angry, sad, jealous, mad, irritated, and anxious too! Another false thing about happiness? A smile equals happiness. Yes, I smile when I’m happy. I also smile when I am nervous, not sure of what to say in a situation, or trying to mask an emotion. Plus, some people just don’t smile. That doesn’t mean they aren’t happy. It just means they have less wrinkles and don’t show their happiness with facial expressions. Finally, I think people confuse happiness and joy. Happiness is very fleeting and tied to specific events. The things that bring me joy are more enduring and fill my cup. That said things that bring me joy can also make me happy, but things that make me happy don’t always bring lots of joy. For example, volunteering brings me joy and usually makes me happy. However, a $1 winning lottery ticket makes me happy for a moment, but it doesn’t bring immense joy.

What do you think is the truth about happiness?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

And Then There Were Five…

A little over a year ago, I began collaborating with Letters & Lore – a small husband and wife owned publishing company – on a little project called Matthew & Me. The idea was to create a devotional over the Gospel of Matthew that looked at the scriptures from a different point of view. The desired POV was from that of a sinner, someone who has lapsed in faith, and someone who had a lot of questions about the Gospels that maybe…just maybe…they were afraid to ask anyone they knew. From there the project spawned four more publications: Making Your Mark, Life Lessons with Luke, A Second Act with Acts, and Journeying with John. It was never intended for there to be five different publications, but you know how it is when God opens a window…sometimes you just jump through it without knowing what might happen!

During the publishing process, one of my favorite parts was creating the covers. I didn’t realize it until the third publication, but I had unintentionally given each cover and the pictures inside a theme that matches one of the four elements. When I got to thinking about what each cover represented, I realized that these matches were no accident. They were divine intention for what each Gospel means to me. Let me break it down:

Matthew – Air – the predominant feature of the cover is the sky. Much like the air we breathe, the Gospel of Matthew is poetic with a story telling nature similar to life giving breath.
Mark – Nature – the predominant feature of this cover is a meadow with trees on the edge. Like many things in nature, the Gospel of Mark is simplistic in word, but said words provide strong roots for the foundation of faith in a way that anyone can find theirselves in them.
Luke – Water – the Gospel of Luke is expansive and flowy in its words. This Gospel tells the narrative in a calm and peaceful way much like the daily flow of tides in the sea. Since it is a direct companion, A Second Act with Acts utilizes this same theme.
John – Fire – the Gospel of John makes you run a marathon of emotions, and it doesn’t hold back any punches. With John you get a raw Gospel that isn’t flowery and serene. It is impactul and motivating and lights a fire from the Holy Spirit within you! The call to action is the strongest in this Gospel!

Going into the project, I thought that the Gospel of Matthew was my favorite. However, after this intense deep dive through all four, I have found that all of them have a different purpose for different seasons of my life while all reminding of the same basics of my faith. This journey has had a lasting impact on me, and I am thankful to Letters & Lore for the opportunity to have this collaboration. You can checkout the devotionals and all of their other publications here. Side note, as a mama, I’m proud that LilKsby has also helped them with a couple of publications! Five year olds are super fun!!!

Now that this journey is complete, I can’t see what is next for me!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

A Ray of Sonlight – Updated April 2025

Photo from Our First Sonlight Unboxing Day

Twas the night before Homeschool Semester two, and I could have panicked about planning but had nothing to do.

How could I be so relaxed for the next day? Because the Sonlight curriculum outlined much of the way!

Based mostly around books and reading to my son, it didn’t matter that ice and snow threatened to make the power not on!

Full disclosure, when we started looking at curriculums for homeschool Kindergarten, Sonlight was not on my radar whatsoever. In fact, when Mr Kisby and I attended a homeschool convention last April, we didn’t stop at their booth. We left with no Sonlight material sure that we wouldn’t be using them. However, fast forward to June, and I still was uncertain about what we were going to use. Somehow I got an ad from Sonlight about a FREE (my favorite price) virtual homeschool summit they were doing, and all attendees would get a coupon plus one lucky attendee (it wasn’t me) would win a full curriculum package! Free and winning are two of my favs plus the days of the summit we were traveling, and I needed something to pass the time, so I signed up!

Going into the summit, I wasn’t expecting to be blown away. I thought I would hear some of the same information that I’d heard at other free homeschool summits. Boy was I wrong! I was immediately impressed by the concept of using read alouds as a way of teaching! Essentially fiction and non-fiction books are used to teach concepts across various curricula areas. Secondly, I loved that people who worked for, but mote importantly used, Sonlight were answering my questions immediately. I assure you I had a lot of questions, and they were on the ball! As a parent, one of the things I was most impressed by was their free instructor guide sample which included a delightful chapter book. Additionally, I was impressed that they had free assessments to see what materials were most appropriate for your child. This had been a concern as I had no idea of where to begin for sure. After our free sample came, a few assessments, and several more questions with an advisor, we became a Sonlight family!

Now that we’re a semester in, how do I know that Sonlight is working for LilKsby? My readers know I love a good Top Ten list, so drum roll please!!!

For Christmas LilKsby asked for additional books from two series that were started as part of our read alouds: Heartwood Hotel and Humphrey. He even insisted we start reading the second Heartwood Hotel book during our break!
He brings up things from our read alouds in conversation. For example, he tells people about how the Ancient Greeks and Egyptians would eat lying down. He talks about the Vikings and what it would be like to live in a longhouse!
A couple months after reading some of the books, he recalls things that happened in them and can recall the names of characters.
He enjoys learning a scripture each week and discussing what it means. To go with this, we’ve started keeping a journal where we write the verse and our thoughts about it. This has been a fun way to bond over the Word!
He loves the big map and looking at where locations from our read alouds are. We’ve also used the map to make comparisons to where we are relative to book locations!
LilKsby likes the timeline book (though sometimes he just wants to play with the stickers instead of putting them in) and seeing how far apart events are. He’s always especially curious to see how far things are from Noah. He also likes that we’ve included notes from things we’ve learned from our field trips, music appreciation, art history, and poetry studies in our timeline book!
LilKsby likes that the curriculum doesn’t force him to do a lot of his least favorite thing: handwriting. It has him do just enough to show that he’s learning the basics without it feeling like a chore.
LilKsby enjoys the narration days in the Language Arts curriculum. We’ve started a notebook just of our narrations, and he’s even willing to do extra narrations as he enjoys storytelling. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed hearing things from his perspective!
LilKsby loves the Book of Living Long Ago and has been fascinated by ancient civilizations. He’s intrigued by the differences and similarities to today, and he enjoyed some of the hands on activities!
He looks forward to school (though he will say he doesn’t), and I believe it has a lot to do with the books! He’s loved reading since he was a baby, so the fact that our curriculum is centered around reading is kind of magical!

Bonus to LilKsby’s Top Ten? As a parent, I’ve enjoyed the support of the Sonlight app. I can ask questions any time, and I get answers from other parents as well as Sonlight advisors!

So as you can see, thanks to Sonlight, I’m relaxed and excited to continue our homeschool year. In fact, as I lay in bed typing this and listening to the ice storm, I’m giddy about tomorrow even if we have to do our readlouds by candlelight!

Since first writing this blog, I have become a Sonlight affiliate. To learn more about all of the great things that Sonlight has to offer click here. This is an affiliate link, and I may be compensated for any purchases made.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Heart School

When we began homeschooling, I knew that I wanted to teach our child a variety of topics: reading, math, music, art, writing, drama, poetry, history, science, Catholic life, etc. What I didn’t know at the time is how much I would love teaching LilKsby lessons of the heart. Throughout our Kindergarten year, we have had the opportunity to dig into different emotions and life lessons using literature (side note…I love our Literature Based Curriculum with Sonlight), field trips, and friendships. It’s like instead of homeschool, we have heart school.

What do I mean? Instead of just learning the academics (which he is), he is learning things like how to help the hungry, ways to give to those who may not have necessities, and how to interact with ALL (capitalized for emphasis) people. He’s learning how to make people feel important; he’s learning to show love to everyone (always doing it is a different work in progress). He also understands why things like putting someone in a hole because of their beliefs is wrong, and he likes to have conversations about why people would do this or other bad things. Sometimes when we are having these heart school moments, I forget that I’m talking to someone in Kindergarten! It’s also these moments that remind of why exactly we are on our heart school journey!

I know that everyone begins a homeschool journey for different reasons. Some of them are positive, some of them are negative, and some are in between. However, no matter the journey, most have one thing in common: parents wanting what is best for their children. This is a very personalized answer that also has to come from the heart. For us, we wanted to raise a child by our priorities and what we feel to be the most important aspects of personal growth. If you know us, then you know that means a lot of heart lessons (and caffiene)!

If you have ever considered homeschooling, or you have questions about it, I encourage you to reachout to someone in your community who is doing it. Questions about curriculum? I highly recommend checking out Sonlight by clicking here (this is an affiliate link, and I may receive compensation for purchases made using it) and trying their literacy based curriculum. I wouldn’t recommend it if we didn’t love it! I hope that you are able to have the heart school your family needs!

XOXO,
The Great Kaysby

I Love to Travel, But…

As you may recall this blog started as being focused on travel and food. Though I’ve gotten away from that in recent years, today I’m returning to my roots albeit with a different spin. Upon returning from a recent trip, I found myself thinking “I love to travel, but…” with a list of a few of things after the but. The thought was finished with some of these:

…but I miss Mr Kisby and LilKsby when they are not with me.
…but I miss my pets.
…but I miss MY bed. It seriously does not matter how comfy a hotel bed is, it is not the same as your bed.
…but I miss MY shower. There is nothing like coming home to my shower with my usual water temp and spray settings! Plus, hotel water tends to wreak havoc with my skin.
…but I miss MY comfy chair. My six year old recliner covered in a fuzzy blanket is my most relaxing place to sit. I’m in it now! LilKsby and one of the pets are sharing it with me!

I’m sure I’m not the only one who can relate to the “I love to travel, but…” sentiment. What are the things that would follow your “but…”?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

A Ray of Sonlight

Twas the night before Homeschool Semester two, and I could have panicked about planning but had nothing to do.

How could I be so relaxed for the next day? Because the Sonlight curriculum outlined much of the way!

Based mostly around books and reading to my son, it didn’t matter that ice and snow threatened to make the power not on!

Now that we’re a semester in, how do I know that Sonlight is working for LilKsby? My readers know I love a good Top Ten list, so drum roll please!!!

For Christmas LilKsby asked for additional books from two series that were started as part of our read alouds: Heartwood Hotel and Humphrey. He even insisted we start reading the second Heartwood Hotel book during our break!
He brings up things from our read alouds in conversation. For example, he tells people about how the Ancient Greeks and Egyptians would eat lying down. He talks about the Vikings and what it would be like to live in a longhouse!
A couple months after reading some of the books, he recalls things that happened in them and can recall the names of characters.
He enjoys learning a scripture each week and discussing what it means. To go with this, we’ve started keeping a journal where we write the verse and our thoughts about it. This has been a fun way to bond over the Word!
He loves the big map and looking at where locations from our read alouds are. We’ve also used the map to make comparisons to where we are relative to book locations!
LilKsby likes the timeline book (though sometimes he just wants to play with the stickers instead of putting them in) and seeing how far apart events are. He’s always especially curious to see how far things are from Noah. He also likes that we’ve included notes from things we’ve learned from our field trips, music appreciation, art history, and poetry studies in our timeline book!
LilKsby likes that the curriculum doesn’t force him to do a lot of his least favorite thing: handwriting. It has him do just enough to show that he’s learning the basics without it feeling like a chore.
LilKsby enjoys the narration days in the Language Arts curriculum. We’ve started a notebook just of our narrations, and he’s even willing to do extra narrations as he enjoys storytelling. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed hearing things from his perspective!
LilKsby loves the Book of Living Long Ago and has been fascinated by ancient civilizations. He’s intrigued by the differences and similarities to today, and he enjoyed some of the hands on activities!
He looks forward to school (though he will say he doesn’t), and I believe it has a lot to do with the books! He’s loved reading since he was a baby, so the fact that our curriculum is centered around reading is kind of magical!

Bonus to LilKsby’s Top Ten? As a parent, I’ve enjoyed the support of the Sonlight app. I can ask questions any time, and I get answers from other parents as well as Sonlight advisors!

Note: Sonlight did not pay me to write this blog, and I’m not being compensated in any manner. I’ve wanted to share my delight with them for a long time, and today, I finally knew what I wanted to say.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

What Do You Do?

Whenever I am at a networking event, the question that is always asked is simple: “What do you do?” My first thought when I hear the question is usually some lyrics from the 2001 song by City High called “What Would You Do?” If you grew up in the 90s/00s you know the lyrics – “Boys and girls, wanna hear a true story? Saturday night was at this real wild party” – and iconic voice of Ryan Toby! After that quick thought, I usually give my quick answer, but then as my day continues, I tend to get really contemplative about the question: “What do you do?”

Sometimes I giggle and think the answer to “What do you do?” is clean a lot of poop and vomit. This answer is not glamourous and is not at all reflective of my entire day, but it’s what I tend to think after cleaning up after the Princess Cat with IBS and the Goofy Cat that gets way too many hairballs for being a short hair. Once I even laughed while doing this because I got to witness an ant literally eat shit and die. The reality is that cleaning up after animals is a very small portion of the day, but it does provide the grossest response and most comical considering there was a caricature made of me as a teenager scooping the litter box.

So what do I really do?

I suppose the best answer is a little bit of everything through a variety of channels!

Be the Queen of Our Castle – includes homeschooling, household activities, travel planning, and more! See my previous post: https://thegreatkaysby.com/2024/05/30/help-wanted-stay-at-home-parent/
Bring people joy and hope by offering skincare and glamour consultations and instruction (joy) and fundraising for community events (hope) through my MK business.
Publish! Being a published writer was one of my DREAMS for as long as I can remember. I started writing short stories in elementary school, and it has always been a sometime hobby of mine. Never in a million years would I have believed that the dream of seeing my work in print could become a reality. Then along came a super supportive husband – Mr Kisby – and the self publishing tool called Amazon KDP. Since August 2023, we’ve published 42 titles (some are lined notebooks). Even if we never make a dime, the creative process has been super fun and rewarding!!! thegreatkaysby.com/letters-lore
Teach/tutor others! Just because I left teaching doesn’t mean the desire to teach left me. I use my love of teaching to first and foremost homeschool LilKsby, but I also use it to tutor others online. I absolutely love helping people prep for the ACT, become better writers, and assist with College Application Essays! To me teaching skin care and glamour is even a form of using my joy of teaching. I will always find fulfillment in teaching others!
Volunteer and help those who need a voice to have one! I used to do this a lot more, but I realized that my over extending myself to help others was taking a toll on my home life. It can be very easy to neglect those you love – including yourself – when you put all of your energy into helping others. However, I have found that what you fill your cup first, you can give a lot more! You might even find creative ways to do so! One of my favorite organizations? Camp TESSA!
Listen to music from the 90s and 00s! There is no mood lifter for me greater than jamming out to boy bands and bubble gum pop. Currently listening to BSB and *NSYNC on loop! There is also something about listening to music live that is good for the soul. I cannot pinpoint exactly what it is, but when you can feel the rhythm coursing through your veins, it is life changing!
Re-watch shows/movies I’ve seen a million times! This one is because it is a comfort. Hearing familiar jokes, crying familiar tears over endings even when you know they’re coming, seeing your favorite faces who feel like your friends is comforting. Obviously, I know that Niles Crane isn’t real, but there’s something about the comedic portrayal by David Hyde Pierce that always makes me think that I know this guy, and I’m laughing with him and not at him!
Read! I believe that being an avid reader is a gift. Reading books opens up the doors to so many great things! You can immerse yourself in fantasy worlds, experience emotions that you never would have encountered, learn new skills, and make travel plans all from reading books. Libraries are one of the greatest assets that we have in the world!
Artsy Stuff! Typically I hate to use the word stuff; however, I don’t really know a better word to sum up all of the artsy things that I do. Sew? Check. Scrapbook? Check. Paint? Check. Draw/doodle? Check. Find creative ways to repurpose things? Check. I like to think of myself as Glue Gun Guru!
Be outside! Now, I don’t do this one as much as I should because I sweat and am chunky. However, there is something invigorating about hiking, gardening, kayaking, swimming, etc. It gets me in a great mental space! Even just walking outside for a few minutes at night to look at the starts is game changing.
Planning! I love to plan things! This is why at different times in my life I’ve thought that it would be cool to be an Event Planner or Travel Agent. (Especially this one if it means discounted travel. Remember this started as a food and travel blog!)

The reality is that I do a lot of different things even though sometimes I’m sure it appears that I just post on social media all day (usually it’s a clue that someone is sick, I’m on a long car ride and not driving, or doing an idle activity like watching TV because try as I might, I cannot only do one thing at a time typically).

I want to know, what do you do?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Help Wanted: Stay At Home Parent

Remember the days of classified ads in the newspaper? They would have “Help Wanted” in giant lettering followed by a quick job description. The descriptions were usually vague, but they gave enough info to tell you whether or not you should submit a resume or make a call. As time evolved and more jobs went to being listed online, the descriptions became more detailed. My favorite part was always “additional duties as needed” because that usually meant something you would never willingly want to do. However, those job descriptions at least gave people a detailed idea of what to except. Plus, anyone can lookup an online job description and have a general idea of what a person in a specific job does. Lately, I’ve been thinking about my job of Stay At Home Parent, and I’ve realized that many people have no idea just what all a stay at home parent does.

To the outside world, sometimes I believe people think that my life as a stay at home parent predominantly involves going fun places, posting a lot on social media, and playing all day. While we do go a lot of places, I can assure you that if I’m posting an abundant amount it means someone is sick, and I’m sitting and snuggling them all day. Also, while we play a lot, there is a lot of butting heads too especially since LilKsby seems to have both of mine and Mr Kisby’s stubbornness and sass. Thus, for the outside world, here’s a little “job description” of my life as a stay at home parent (note that each stay at home parents job will vary).

Skill Requirements – flexibility, patience, kindness, loving heart, ability to say I’m sorry, ability to forgive, playfulness, planner of trips/activities, and more!
Appointment Maker – includes but is not limited to scheduling doctors appointments, dental checkups, eye exams, playdates, home maintenance/repairs, car maintenance/repairs, special events, and services such as large item trash pickup. This duty requires some organizational skills and a good planner/calendar.
Household Tasks – includes but is not limited to vacuuming, sweeping, dishes, some laundry, some cooking, scooping poop (we have cats…no people are pooping on the floor), straightening rooms, cleaning out expired items, packing up items for donation/yard sale, ordering groceries, and preparing for vacations. This duty can be gross and requires much patience if you don’t like cleaning.
Chauffeur/Runner – includes but is not limited to driving people, pets, or vehicles to appointments, running errands, driving to Parent & Kid Groups, and driving to various activities. Having a good concept of where things are located with and without GPS is a necessity for this duty!
Caretaker – includes but is not limited to giving snuggles and hugs for boo boos, special care when a household member is sick, making sure wellness needs are met for people and pets, and ensuring people feel loved and appreciated. Knowing your family’s love languages helps.
Homeschool Teacher (this one may not be for everyone, but it is for us) – includes but is not limited to curriculum planning, implementing instructional time, researching best practices and methodologies, attending homeschool functions, assessing progress, and attending conventions to further your own abilities

In addition to the basic duties, I’ve also added to my stay at home parent plate by working independent contractor jobs from home. If you’re wondering how do I balance it all, here is the answer: I don’t. Some months I hardly touch the work from home part which can leave me scrambling near the end of month or coming up shorter than desired. However, when striving to live faith, family, career (which is 100% a constant work in progress because it can be HARD to put faith and family before personal career goals after spending 21 years in the workplace). Also, I’ve added the duty of gardener because I feel it is important for LilKsby to know how to grow his own vegetables (the flowers are because they are pretty). The biggest duty and one of the most difficult is finding just five minutes a day to do something for yourself. Like any other job, being a stay at home parent requires sacrifice. Many times you sacrifice the things you want to do for the benefit of others. However, it is important to never lose sight of doing things you enjoy. So take a few minutes to play that video game, read a book, watch TV, put together your adult Legos, write, pursue an artistic endeavor…do something that makes you who you were created to be!!!

So there you have it: a Stay at Home Parent Job description. Is it complete? Nope. Something will always get added. However, it does provide a glimpse of what all the job entails. To all the stay at home parents, you’re doing a great job!!!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Another Trip Around the Sun

Photo by Sebastian Arie Voortman on Pexels.com

Tonight concludes another trip around the sun! Usually I blog on my birthday about all the great things that have happened in the last year, but this year I’m feeling a little differently – more introspective – about my birthday. Per usual I did have a list of things that I wanted to accomplish in the year, and as per usual as circumstances changed, the list changed. In the end I accomplished 24 of the 40 on the list, and I had a lot of fun throughout the year. However, more important than the fun was the personal growth that I felt came with 40, so I want to share some of my personal growth tips from the last year.

Learn to set boundaries. If you don’t learn to establish boundaries, people will walk all over you. Also, while learning to set boundaries, understand that it is a process not instantaneous.
Learn to do one thing at a time. As much as we all like to multi-task, we can only be fully present with one thing at a time.
Learn to not let the comments people make bother you to the point that you can’t focus. This is hard, but it is important to learn to do in order to avoid driving yourself crazy.
Try something new or something you haven’t done in a long time. There’s a rush that goes with learning or re-trying a skill!
Put down the phone. Boy this is a hard one that I’m trying to improve upon so that my child doesn’t believe it’s necessary to have a phone in front of your nose. When you put down the phone, you will realize how much stress being on it can cause you.
Schedules are not a bad thing. This is a struggle for me because I like to think I’m fun and do things on the fly, but the truth is that I achieve more and get more joy (because of not rushing) when things are scheduled. Plus, I love having things on the calendar to look forward to doing!
Dance like no one is watching! It’s fun!
Sing your heart out! It’s okay if you’re still belting out all of your favorite 90’s and 00’s songs!
Take one on one time with people. It allows you to connect with them on a deeper level and strengthens relationships.
Coffee, tea, and water are the best drinks on the planet! Water might be the most important, but the other two are right up there!
If you want to see change in the world, start by making a small change yourself. It’s really easy to complain about how hateful everyone in the world is, but by modeling kindness to others, you can be part of the solution.
Read a book or listen to an audiobook! There is power in the written word!
Find faith in something. For me it is God; for you it could be a blueberry muffin. I’m not going to judge what you put your faith into, but I can assure you that it is better to have faith in something than not at all.
Get outside! There is healing in nature!
Plan a trip! Then go on that trip. The world is big, and you deserve to see more than the little slice where you reside.
Purging material items that you don’t need is cathartic especially if you find a way to donate or reuse it instead of filling a landfill.
It’s okay to not believe the same things as previous generations. You’re a different person; therefore, it is okay for your viewpoints to be different.
If you influence children, teach them to actually learn things for themselves instead of believing everything they are told.
Stop believing that everything on the Internet or Social Media is true! If you see something that you’re unsure about its validity, do some research before you repost it.
Be proud of the things you have accomplished! They make you special and wonderful! Having a hard time with this? Take 10 minutes and list some of your greatest accomplishments.
Play with Legos. In fact, if you’re an adult, just find ways to play. Having fun will make your life better!
You’re never too old to look the way you want. Have blue hair! Get a nose ring! Do your thing!!!
Follow your dreams! I had always dreamed of writing and publishing, and now Mr Kisby and I have a little thing called Letters & Lore! It’s connected to this page!
Send handwritten notes to people. It takes more effort than a text or FB post, and it shows that you care.
Learn to stop comparing yourself to others. This is super hard and a work in progress, but I can assure you that if you accept who you are, you can achieve greatness!
Eat Zaxby’s. You can thank me later.
Don’t be afraid to try new things. Change might be scary, but it can also be amazing!
Do something you’ve been afraid to try. For me it was getting back on an airplane, but I had the best time last July, and I feel like I became a better person for it. Plus, it helps teach LilKsby to not be afraid.
Walk, run, jog, whatever…just get moving.
Life is short. Eat cake. Then go back to number 29.
It’s okay to stop doing things you no longer enjoy. Set it aside, and you may find that you like it if you try it again down the road.
Tell people your dreams.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help shows strength not weakness.
Relax during the holidays. Don’t get stressed out by trying to make them perfect. Enjoy them.
Unless you have a legit good reason, don’t say “no” to social invitations.
Make sure your cup is full so that you can pour into others.
Get a massage. It’s okay if you start laughing because you’re ticklish.
Always re-evaluate your goals in life. You’ll get further by allowing yourself to change.
Watch a favorite show again especially if you need a laugh!
Don’t wish time away. You can’t get it back.

That’s a lot of tips! I’ve learned a lot at 40, and I am 100% that 41 is going to be even more exciting and freeing! Much love my friends!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Literacy a Fun Idea

I cannot take full credit for this idea. I came up with the idea when I saw this post going around social media about a lady asking her husband and kids to buy her 12 books for Christmas and wrap them with a label for each month. This would be like her own Book of the Month club. Of course I saw this after the holiday, but I thought “I can adapt this!” At first I thought I would just adapt it for myself by rewrapping and labeling books I got for Christmas. Then I got to thinking that this could be a great way to get LilKsby to read different books! He loves to read, but a lot of times we end up reading the same 15 or so over and over. So I went to his bookshelf to find books he hasn’t previously shown an interest in reading and a couple new ones we had set aside. Tonight I wrapped them and put a label on each one. Then I put them all in a shoebox so that it looks a treasure chest. I cannot wait for him to see this box and be excited to unwrap a book each month!

So why am I sharing this here? As I wrapped them, I thought this could be a great way to encourage kids who do not like reading to pick up a book. It could also be a fun way for teachers to introduce a book each month to their class. Participate in summer reading? The same idea could be applied just for summer. This is “literacy” a fun idea for all ages!

Happy reading!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

It’s Hard to Say…

Who is the most famous or infamous person you have ever met?

This is a really hard question for me to answer. I’ve met a lot of famous people because of attending cons, but does that count? Here’s my thought on this question…

Most Interesting Meeting – Waylon Jennings – When I met him, I had no idea who he was. I was a kid (must of been around age 9 because Hurricane Andrew had just happened), and I was at a barbecue buffet with my parents. This random stranger started telling me I was a cute young lady, and I told him that I couldn’t talk to strangers. I didn’t understand at the time why my mom was staring at me slack jawed. Now I get it!

Most Meaningful – William Daniels – I grew up watching Boy Meets World, and when I became a teacher, I wanted to be the kind that made the impact that Mr Feeny did on those kids. I am so glad that I could tell him thank you for being an inspiration. Bonus, LilKsby was so upset that I didn’t pick the Knight Rider picture for our autograph that his wife, Bonnie Bartlett, gave us one. 😊

Most Awkward – Howie D – I’ve been a huge BSB fan for a long time, and when we saw him coming out of a hotel, the words asking for an autograph barely came out of my mouth. They did come out, but I know I was shaking. Side note, that was the morning after the concert where we were close enough to slip them our room number. They didn’t call that night, so me and my besties are still waiting for them to call us to hangout. 😂

Most Kind – Luke Perry and Sean Patrick Flannery – I met them at a Con. Luke Perry and I had a conversation about hand sanitizer, and he let me use some of his. Same Con, a fan had given Sean Patrick Flannery some brownies, and he shared his brownies with me and my aunt. That was pretty awesome! We’d done the Boondocks Saints photo op the day before, so that made it even better!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Spectrum of Sparkle

Photo Credit: The Great Kaysby

Most people have heard of the concept called the “Circle of Control.” Within this concept there is a circle in the middle of a blank space. Inside the circle is written things that you can personally control, and outside of the circle is written the things that you cannot control that cause you stress. For example, you can control if you go out and check the mail so that would be on the inside of the circle. However, you cannot control what shows up in your mailbox on a given day so that would be on the outside of the circle. These examples are trivial in comparison to most of life’s stressors, but you get the concept.

The concept of the “Circle of Control” is something I try to remind myself of a lot. At times I can have a tendency to get overly emotional about things that are completely out of my control. (Keep in mind I’m not talking about tragic kinds of things.) When this happens, I try to remind myself of the circle, but I have found that there are a couple of flaws with it. The biggest is that I am part of a generation where we were very much as a whole taught to never show emotion or ask for help because these are perceived as signs of weakness. Which I now realize might be the kind of thought process that made me prefer to get bad grades as opposed to ask for help in Calculus. Anyway, getting away from this line of thought to a more healthy one isn’t easy, but it has become a goal for me as I want to be a good example for LilKsby.

So I got to thinking…what if instead of a “Circle of Control” there is a “Spectrum of Sparkle”? Why a spectrum? Because I have realized that there are a lot of things in my life that have aspects I can control while also having aspects that rely on others. With the circle concept, the two are completely separate. However, I’ve come to believe that the biggest success to emotional control lies on a spectrum where you find balance between knowing what you can control and learning to cope with what you can’t as opposed to being told to just let it go. On the “Spectrum of Sparkle” you could start by listing various aspects of your life such as faith, family, friends, you, and avenues of income. Then you could list under that the things that you have complete control over such as silent mediation time, your family chores, your daily habits, etc. Beneath those you could list the things that are partially in your control but also not. These would be things like you can control what days you go to the grocery pickup, but you can’t control how long it will take to get your order. Just knowing what these things are can help you know how to cope with them which can lead to better emotional management. Finally, list the things that are totally out of your control. These can be things that are obviously out of your control like “I can’t control the weather,” or they can be things that are personal like, “I can’t let how someone reacts to my decision ruin how excited I am about it.” One of the hardest lessons to learn for people like me who are super easily excitable is that not everyone is going to be excited as you are and as happy about something as you are. You also have to learn that you cannot control other people. You have to let people live their lives how they want even when you (a) think you know better for them or (b) disagree with their decisions. You can 100% love someone and not agree with everything they do. That’s called being a Golden Rule person.

Now that I’ve answered “why a spectrum?” I feel the need to answer “why of sparkle?” Well for one I like sparkly things. Two, the things that we get the most passionate and upset about are usually the things that make us sparkle and shine inside and out. It’s also important to know that those things can take an emotional toll on us, and we should recognize that even things that make us sparkle have parts that our out of our control. Until the next time!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

10 Things I Love About Me

As part of a leadership class I am taking, I’m starting a 30 day challenge of Daily Journal Prompts. This is outside of my usual realm, but I’m excited for the challenge!

Prompt 8 – List 10 things you love about yourself.

I love this prompt! Not because I love to talk about myself although sometimes I do it a little too much, but because I think listing things you love about yourself is a great mental health exercise. Over the years I’ve used a similar exercise to this prompt for therapeutic reasons, and I highly recommend everyone do it! Here goes my list!

1. I love my creativity and expressing it through painting, sewing, scrapbooking, coloring, and writing.

2. I love my ability to get lost in a book. Books can take you to another world, inform you, and inspire you!

3. I love my head – like all of it. My hair has always made me happy as have my eyes and smile.

4. I love my ability to burst out into song at random moments whether it is with a made up song or one I half know the lyrics to.

5. I love my tendency to be easily excited and enthusiastic about the littlest things!

6. I love my caring spirit and how much taking care of others feeds my soul. It’s important to be a servant leader.

7. I love my ability to teach people a variety of skills in a variety of areas.

8. I love my ability to work hard and get things done when I put my mind to accomplishing something.

9. I love my love of water. I feel most at peace when water is involved be it a shower, pool, rain, lake, etc.

10. Most of all I love being able to live by my priorities: faith, family/friends, living by the Golden Rule, and then career. The two greatest roles in my life are wife and mother, and I do my best to up hold that calling.

I challenge everyone to make their own 10 list!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Happiest Memories

As part of a leadership class I am taking, I’m starting a 30 day challenge of Daily Journal Prompts. This is outside of my usual realm, but I’m excited for the challenge!

Prompt 7 – Write about one of your happiest memories.

There are so many happy memories in my life that it is impossible to choose just one! I could talk about birthdays, our engagement day or wedding day, trips, hanging with friends, or LilKsby coming along! This time I want to go with a moment that fits one of my love languages: recognition and words of praise.

In 2007, I attended my first MK Seminar in Dallas, TX. At that event, I got to see people being recognized for their achievements on the big Seminar stage. It was like a Miss America pageant where everyone had the potential to be winner based on their achievements. I knew then that I wanted to walk across that big stage waving to the crowd like royalty!

Fast forward to 2010 when Mr Kisby attended the event with me for the first time. He got to walk the stage with all the other SOs. I was one of the crowd he waved towards. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being in the crowd and cheering for him. I get just as excited about celebrating other people I love as I do about being celebrated myself! However, I also like pretend score boards. I’m competitive like that! Big Stage Score Mr Kisby 1 and me 0. My business continued to grow and in 2014 and 2015, he went with me again and walked the stage. Mr Kisby 3 and me 0.

Enter 2016! At one of our smaller MK events with 5,000 people instead of 20,000, I earned my first stage walk! I was so excited! I still remember smiling and cheesing it up with the women around me! Our enthusiasm was contagious!!! I loved the thrill of earning the recognition spot and being celebrated!!!!

Summer of 2016, Mr Kisby went with me to Seminar again. Once again another SO stage call. That made his score 4 and mine 1. In 2017, I once again crossed the smaller event stage for leadership achievements. 4-2

Fast forward to 2018! That April it was announced that for the first time ever Princess Court achievers would get to cross the BIG stage during the BIG awards night in Dallas! This announcement got me working in high gear. I had been dreaming of this since 2007, and after eleven years, the dream was within my grasp. With a lot of hard work and determination, I made my goal! I treated myself to an amazing gown, and I felt like I was Miss America when they put that sash on me! I remember being in line to go back stage and being giddy with excitement. I took in every moment as we got back there, and I can still picture all of the backstage setup for the higher level awards being given. The thrill as we shuffled a long back stage was intoxicating, and by the time I stepped foot on stage, I was grinning from ear to ear. The whole moment may have lasted five minutes, but it was five limited that I had dreamed of for eleven years! Talk about a rush!!!

At that point Mr Kisby may have led the scoreboard at 4-3, but I felt like the biggest winner of all time! In 2019, I walked the stage twice more at one of our smaller events. This time LilKsby was in my belly, and I remember being so excited that I could share a world where dreams do come true with a little bit of grit with my baby! I guess that makes our score 4-5-2 technically!

Now it’s been over 4 years since those happiest moments, and I will soon be attending a MK event again. I won’t be walking the stage myself (there is always 2024), but I’m elated to cheer on all of my friends for their achievements!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby