motivation – The Great Kaysby

Can You Help Me?

“Can you help me?” It should be such a simple question to ask; it should be a judgment free question ask. Yet how many of us as children/teenagers preferred to do bad on a homework assignment instead of ask for help? If I wasn’t typing my hand would be raised. For a plethora of misguided reasons, I never wanted to ask for help in school. Likewise – unless it was to read something aloud – I didn’t want to be called on in class either.

Fast forward to today, those of us who were afraid to ask for help in our youth are now adults who are trying to break free of the toxic habit that is not asking for help. Yes, I said toxic habit. Why? Because not being comfortable asking for help has caused many people I know to be over stressed, over committed, and feeling as though they are doing something wrong because they cannot figure out everything on their own. Spoiler, I used to be (and sometimes relapse into) one of those people!

What changed? The realization that we as people are not meant to be strong, independent, and capable of doing every single thing ourselves. We are not meant to do every single thing alone. In fact, people were created to need other people. We learn from one another. We all have different talents that can compliment one another’s skills. We are designed to need assistance from other people so that we can in turn assist others! It is human nature!

Along with the realization, I knew that from the time LilKsby started learning that I never wanted him to be afraid to ask for help. Mr. Kisby and I tell him all the time that you learn by asking questions and asking for help. I want LiLKsby to grow up with the understanding that we have the potential to be better as people because we help one another.

So today I am giving you permission to ask “Can you help me?” You may just find that doing so will change your life!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Twister Tips

Photo by Ralph W. lambrecht on Pexels.com

With all of the advances in technology when it comes to the field of meteorology, the area where I live is already discussing a supremely elevated risk for tornadoes three days from now. The fact that they can do this now is astounding to me given I grew up with a weather radio that basically said, “TAKE COVER NOW!” I’m not that old; we just lived that much in the middle of nowhere. Given my years of experience with tornadoes, I thought I would provide some practical advice to others to help them prepare for Sunday.

If the chance of tornadoes is at night, it is in your best interest to either sleep in clothes or keep them nearby. This includes bras, pants, and shirts. Should you happen to end up on the news or having to go outside after the storm, then you want to be dressed in a way that you won’t get arrested for public indecency. If you don’t have on your underwear, that’s between you and Jesus. Besides, I fully get that if the tornado did directly hit you, then your underwear may no longer be clean.
Take your false teeth to the storm shelter! One, tornado warnings can get extended and reoccur in the same night. Sometimes you need snacks while you are in the basement! Also, again should you end up on the news or having to call for help, you want whoever you are talking to with to be able to understand you. Teeth in folks!
If the sky turns green and you see a tree get uprooted outside the window, it is time to go to the basement! Been there and done that! My parents were on vacation, and I was like twenty and home by myself. As fascinating as it all looked, I figured I should go to the basement. Of course I also should have stayed in the safe area the time I was working and a tornado came through, but how many opportunities do you have to see trees flying by windows? Hmm…I may need to err on the side of caution more.
Have a “Basement Bag” packed! When there is a chance of storms, we keep bags with extra clothes, snacks, and activities. I also bring my Bible. Why? The Bible has important records and dates in it should documentation be lost. It also has some family history. We also bring important things like wallets, keys, and chargers. The bag is also a good place for the bra and teeth if need be!
Think about things you would need if the power goes out. If you’re taking candles, be sure to take something to light them! Also, make sure lanterns and flashlights have working batteries. You’re stressed out enough when the sirens go off. Watching the last bit of battery in a lantern die out does not make it easier.
If you’re in a restaurant and the tornado sirens go off, they are probably going to cram everyone into the freezer. Yes, the freezer. It’s actually the sturdiest, safest area of most restaurants. Seriously, that tornado with the trees flying by the window? There WAS a gas station next to the building where I worked, and ALL that was left standing (with the people safely inside) was the walk-in freezer. Side note, you might experience some really odd way restaurants store stuff when you’re hanging out in the freezer. Also, take your food and drink with you. You might be there for a while.
If you’re driving and your passenger says, “Have you ever seen a tornado while driving?” then it is not advisable to do what I did which was look at the sky, see the funnel, and proceed to drive a little faster in the opposite direction. That’s not a good idea. I repeat that IS NOT a good idea! What you should do is try to drive to a nearby shelter, or if absolutely necessary pull over in a low lying area. Contrary to popular belief, you are not safe under bridges and overpasses during tornadoes.

What are your best twister tips?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

A Fine Line…

Are you superstitious?

There’s a fine line between superstitious and thriving on routines. I realize that sounds like a bold statement, but follow me for a second. As a teenager, for a brief bit, I thought that the outcome of my day could be predicted by whether or not I won a game of solitaire on the computer while waiting for the bus to arrive. Did I really believe that a Windows 95 game could determine my day? No. However, it gave me an excuse to play on the computer every morning before school, and I liked that routine!

I no longer play solitaire every morning. In fact, I’m not sure what version of Windows was the last one to have it be automatically included. That said, I do still like routines, and breaking a routine can be hard for me. In fact, some have even heard me say “I can’t do that. It’s bad luck” about things that may seem silly. Yet the reality is, I’m not really being superstitious about the thing, I just don’t want to change it. I really like to always take the same entrance into places, check things on the computer in a certain order, and have schedules for certain activities like what chores go on which day. I’m a creature of routine, and I am a lot more focused and less anxious with them.

Like I said, it’s a fine line…

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

February Fireworks

The other day, LilKsby and I were over at my parents’ house, and one of the things we did was light fireworks in February. The ones we used were nothing big – just some poppers, smoke bombs, snakes, and spinners – and were nothing that required waiting until dark. It was seventy degrees and sunny between rain storms which was a welcome juxtaposition to most of the weather we’ve had lately. We laughed and laughed as we lit fireworks. It was perfect fun!

After the experience, I got to thinking, “What if doing things just for fun, like February fireworks, even if it’s ‘not the season’ became the norm?” Yearning to dye eggs in September? Go for it! Want to create Christmas crafts in June? Go for it! Want to eat “Holiday Foods” in May? Go for it! Life is too short to not do fun things just because “it’s not the season”!

So my challenge to you as you plan the upcoming week is for you to include something fun. Even if it is completely out of season, do it anyway! The fun it will bring is worth it!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Purposeful Direction

“I have direction.”

“Yeah, towards the mall.”

Who else remembers that exchange between Cher and Josh in Clueless? Iconic, right? I was thinking about that line tonight after reading St Paul’s First Letter to Timothy. I know you’re thinking, “How does a movie that defined the mid-90s tie to the Bible?” In verse 1:5, Paul specifically states the purpose of his letter. That made me think about people and how many know their purpose in life and can explicitly say it without wavering. Then I wondered if there are more people like Cher early in the movie who know they have a purpose yet haven’t figured out what it is. Along with this, how many of us have – like Josh – assumed we know someone’s purpose when we truly know them very little and have no clue?

The good news is if you do not yet know your purpose, you can figure it out, and as long as there is breath in your lungs, you have time to begin living it. So how can you find your purpose? It starts with a little self reflection. If you need some guiding questions try these:

What drives you to get out of bed in the morning even when you don’t want to get up?
What do you hope people remember about you after you meet them?
What pulls at your heartstrings and will move you to tears even if you aren’t a crier?
What do you enjoy doing that blesses others?
What gifts and talents have you been given?

Something else to consider as you reflect is what are your love languages. Understanding these can help you determine the purposeful direction you need to follow. Finally, remember that your purpose is unique to you and should not be exactly the same as anyone else’s.

Good luck finding direction to somewhere besides the mall!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

It’s Up To You

“If it is to be, it is up to me.”

That’s it. That’s the post.

Just kidding.

“If it is to be, it is up to me.” Some might hear this quote and dismiss it as sounding self-absorbed. They might think, “Well, this person thinks it’s all about them!” I can see where it would be easy to make this interpretation with the “Me, me, me!” mentality that is so precedented. However, others might look at this quote and think, “That’s a great point. If I want to succeed, I have to put in the work.”

Often times people (myself included) fall into the trap of “it will happen if it is meant to be” as though we expect things to happen magically. Along the same lines we might think, “Well, I hope this happens.” Then we find ourselves in a loop of disappointment when things do not progress like we want.

But wait! Was action ever taken?

No.

So what if we listened to the quote? What change might we see if we started doing the work to get to where we want to be? How quickly could we start to see progress? How quickly could we be where we wanted to be?

I know where I could be with just a little bit of action and growth sprinkled with pinch of consistency! Now, should I go for it and make it happen or keep hoping without action?

What will you choose?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

And Then There Was Calm

“The wind ceased, and there was a great calm.”

It’s a small line; it’s two simple sentences combined. Yet the power behind the words is abundant. How many times in life do we experience maelstroms both figurative and literal? How often do we yearn for the calm? Then when it arrives, how many of us miss the calm because our emotions are still too turbulent?

As I have gotten older, I find myself more and more drawn to acknowledging the importance of the calm. It is in the calm that you discover important things that can be easily overlooked like what is truly important to you and the purpose that you have been called to fulfill. In the calm is also where you find great enjoyment in the little things like reading a book, working a puzzle, and painting a picture. Likewise, the calm is where you feel at peace and relaxed. The calm is where your body can heal itself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Right now, writing this…this is my calm. And trust me, it is beautiful! It is so beautiful that I want everyone to learn how to experience the calm!

So how do you learn to experience the calm in a world that is full of storms? That’s a great question, and it is one that does not have a set answer. It takes personal reflection and introspection. No two of us in this world are exactly a like (thank God!) so no two methods of finding the calm will be the same. For me it has involved daily quiet time, limiting social media, and attempting to do one thing daily that brings me joy. It has also involved becoming more disciplined with time management and organization (weaknesses for my Phoebe Buffay like personality). Does this mean my life is without storms? Absolutely not. However, I am becoming better (keeping in mind progress not perfection) at working through them calmly and thoughtfully as opposed to flying off the handle. (Red headed temper is for real, that’s all I’m saying.)

My challenge to you in the “Month of Love” is to practice finding your calm. As you search for it and find it, you will see a positive change in yourself. Enjoy finding your calm!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

It Matters To That One

Perhaps you have heard this story before by Loren Eiseley…

A man and boy were walking along the shoreline, and the boy kept picking up starfish and tossing them back in the sea. He did this over and over again. Finally, the man said, “There are thousands of starfish on the shore drying out. What difference are you making?” The boy looked at him and replied, “It matters to that one.”

Eiseley’s actual words are much more elegant, but that is the gist. I have long loved the message of that story, and I believe that it can be a very helpful thought to keep in mind in this tumultuous world. Often times when we pursue something, we get frustrated when it doesn’t become “the next big thing,” and we quit because we have not had a sensational impact. Perhaps we give up because something is not as easy as we thought it would be. When these mindsets take hold, it can be easy to miss the little impacts we make.

So how can we open our eyes, hearts, and minds and commit to making little impacts?

Remember the purpose behind what you are doing. It may only have an impact on you, but you never know who is watching and might follow your lead. For example, when I started writing “Matthew & Me,” I did it because I knew that I needed a deep dive into the Gospels, and I knew that as a sinner there might be other people with similar questions that they were afraid to ask. Now there are five devotionals, and though none of them are bestsellers, I’m not done writing. The devotionals have made a difference with my faith, and that makes the effort worth it. If it opens up conversations for someone and helps bring one person to know Jesus, then that one difference will be extraordinary!
Find ways to be helpful to others at least once a week. There are so many people out there with various needs, and I dare say that some are afraid to voice their needs. You can make an impact just by sending a genuine “How are you?” or “I thought of you today” message. You can put food in a roadside pantry; you can donate items you no longer need; you can help a neighbor with a task. It doesn’t have to be a big production. Side note, if you have kids, let them see you do these things. They may follow your lead!
Share your experiences with those around you in an open and honest fashion. If you are on social media, then you have a platform in which you can bring light to topics and make a positive impact on those around you. When you are open and true, you will find that you can help people realize they are not alone. You can also share resources that might have a positive impact on others. Feel free to share my blog anytime! 😂 Seriously though, can you imagine the change that could come from more people using their platforms to be a blessing to others?

That’s a lot of serious thought, and a lot of info to digest. If you take nothing else from this post, remember the starfish.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Joy Jar

What brings you joy? Do you find joy in the little every day things, or do you only find joy in big events? Maybe you experience joy in both! Perhaps, you are struggling to find your joy at all. No matter your current scenario, I have a little mental health exercise that might help you. I call it “The Joy Jar.”

First and foremost, let me provide this disclaimer. I am not a licensed therapist, psychologist, etc that has a background in mental health. My suggestions are not a replacement for their help. Also, this is not my original idea, but I think it is 100% worth sharing.

Now…

“The Joy Jar” is a simple concept. Throughout a given time frame, fill the jar with slips of paper describing something that happened which brought you joy. As the jar fills up, you will have a visual representation of all the things in life that bring you joy. Once the jar is full (or your time frame is up), empty the jar and review all of the things that brought you joy. Your heart will be warmed by the love and memories! For a long term joy reminder, tape the pieces of paper into a notebook that you can revisit.

The How To…

Find a jar like object (mine is an old flower vase) and decorate it if desired.
Find some paper (I use scraps of paper or those free pads of paper you get at vendor events), a writing utensil, and scissors that you can keep close to your “Joy Jar.”
As things bring you joy, write them down on the paper, cut them out, and drop them in the jar.
Fill the jar.
Empty and repeat.

For me “The Joy Jar” is a simple tool, but the rewards of it are astronomical. When I reviewed my 2025 jar, it reiterated my “why” in life, reminded me of wonderful moments, and filled my heart with an abundance of love and happiness! Side note, do not wait until an hour before midnight on New Year’s Eve to start going through your jar. I 100% had to finish it on New Year’s Day!

If “The Joy Jar” can help one other person, then my mission of sharing this is accomplished. I hope you find your joy in 2026!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Stop and Watch the Animals

What skills or lessons have you learned recently?

In a fast paced, almost always connected world, the most important lesson is to stop and watch the animals. Today, we seized the day, and we went to the zoo instead of doing our typical homeschool day. One of the best parts of the day was when we sat and ate snacks while watching the lions and giraffes! Watching them filled me with such a sense of calm and peace. The feeling was enhanced by the warm sun on my face, gentle breeze blowing through the trees, and the refreshing sent of outside air. It was one of those feelings that served to remind me of the importance of slowing down and being present in the little moments. During this crazy time of year, I think we could all use a moment to stop and watch the animals!

Five Things I’m Good At…

This is a great daily prompt! I am always fascinated by the responses to questions like these because they can go a variety of ways. The easiest way to answer is always with skills for which you have received recognition. It is also easy to answer with something related to hobbies you enjoy or a hidden talent that you may possess. I mean wouldn’t we all agree that we are amazing singers in the shower and put on the best concerts while in there? The more difficult way to answer this question is with intrinsic things that others may not know about yourself. Perhaps you would also come up with a list that includes extrinsic and intrinsic things. For me, I feel like it is a combination of both!

One thing that I am great at is worrying and letting the things I worry about distract me. In fact, sometimes I think I get some kind of odd pleasure out of having something to worry about. Part of this is a predisposition to worrying. I 100% believe that things like worry and anxiety have a genetic component. Which is why – though it can come across as toxic to some – I try to always find a positive lining to things. It’s for my own good. Sometimes I worry about things so much that after they have come to pass, I find myself simply exhausted. This is the case today. We started the day with having to take a cat to the pet (our cats are family), and I was afraid something was going to be wrong. Why? Probably because I’m still grieving the cat we lost this past summer especially on days when LilKsby brings her up a lot (which he did this morning), but also because the cat didn’t have the best checkup last year. Praise God (yes, I pray over my cats), the cat got a perfect checkup this year! What a relief!

Another thing I am good at is finding joy in the little things. I believe this is truly an amazing skill to have! For example, I am finding joy right now in writing this blog. I also find joy in watching it snow, cuddling up in my chair in front of the twinkling Christmas tree lights, and wandering through art galleries. I think that one of the biggest things that can make a difference in our lives is finding joy in little things.

Guess what else I’m good at? Being creative! I love writing, scrapbooking, painting, sewing, finding ‘reuses’ for items, and singing. I also love to dance even though I have the rhythm of a bucket! There’s something magical about taking something and molding it into something new.

I am good at being social. It can be exhausting because I am an extroverted introvert, but I can do the whole “peopling” thing. It actually recharges my battery to “people” the majority of the time. I love listening to the stories people have to tell and seeing all the wonderful connections that we have. When you get out there and get to “peopling” you learn just what a small world it is!

Finally, I’m good at word puzzles. I absolutely love word puzzles! I love learning the definitions of different words, I love learning the origins of words, and I love utilizing the words that I use from crosswords. It’s fun to be like, “That’s not light brown; that’s ecru.” I also love number puzzles like Sudoku! Puzzles are fun past time, and I like to think they are good for the brain!

What are five things you’re good at?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

With Infinite Time, I Could…

Daily writing prompt

What could you do more of?

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Everyone has the same number of minutes in a day: 1,440. The way those minutes are spent varies from person to person, but one thing always seems to remain constant. There never seems to be enough time in the day for everything that a person wants to do. However, with infinite time, I could think of a few things I would do more!

Paint – I love painting, but when I sit down to do it, I want at least two solid hours of painting time.
Scrapbooking – I love looking at pictures and making precious pages of our best memories. I also enjoy scrapbook competitions!
Writing – Really working on doing this more. I really want to finish my second non-fiction book soon, and the topic seems very pertinent.
Video Games – Since I was five, I have loved playing video games. I will 100% own up to the being that adult who loves to game.
Puzzles – I love compelting puzzles! Once I start one, I become hooked on completing it. We have stayed up until 3 in the morning completing puzzles before!
Traveling – I love to travel! If time (and money) were infinite, this is where I would be.
Sewing – I love to sew, but again I need bigger time blocks to do it!
Exercise – I would love to spend more time walking, doing yoga, and swimming!
Working – I work what most would consider “side hustles” and more time (and energy) would be great for these!
Studying – I love learning! With more time, I would take a lot more free courses online or watch more instructional videos.
Improve my piano skills and learn guitar!

It’s hard to work all of these into your schedule when you also homeschool and enjoy being involved in community activities! Maybe I should give up sleep, LOL!

What would you like to do more?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Sometimes You Lead, Sometimes You Follow

Daily writing prompt

Do you see yourself as a leader?

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By definition, according to the Oxford Dictionary, a leader is “the person who leads or commands a group, organization, or a country.” Solely looking at this definition, I have been a leader. I have been in the President/Highest Office in a few organizations and been one of the supporting main offices (usually secretary) in other organizations. I have also led a team of beauty consultants for almost 15 years. Just going off of what is on paper, I have been a leader in various capacities since about 2004. In other words, if my leadership self was their own person, they’d be having their first legal drink this year! LOL

But do I see myself as a leader?

No. Yes. Maybe. Being a leader is interesting because I do not necessarily see myself as a leader, but I have the type of personality where I can take charge when necessary (especially in critical situations though I may have a come apart when it is over), and I can also be the planner, organizer, etc for various situations. However, sometimes it is also nice to be part of the ensemble so to speak. It’s nice to be in the background while someone else steps in the spotlight. I also feel like as I get older, the reason for seeking leadership changes. When I was younger, sometimes I wanted to be made the leader because it made me feel like I had a bigger purpose (like when I held various offices with organizations). As I have gotten older, I want to lead people with a servant’s heart so that they will be able to mirror that love and gratitude to future generations. Currently, I have a semi-leadership position in a non-profit, and I have said for years that I want to lead it in such away that when I decide to step down, I know that it will be secure for years to come. I have also found myself desiring to grow in business leadership because I know that it will have a bigger positive impact on my own family. However, I also know that to do this and be the best leader I can be, I have some self growth that needs to happen in areas like time management and overcoming obstacles.

So do I see myself as a leader? I see myself growing into the person I was born to be, and if that involves leading others and showing what it is like to live by the Golden Rule, then that’s cool.

Are you a leader?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Words of Wisdom From a “Cool Aunt”

At this point in my life, I have had nearly twenty years of experience as an aunt either from being a chosen aunt to my friend’s kids or to those I am actually related because of Mr. Kisby. I’ve always fancied myself a “Cool Aunt” with my fake nose ring (one day it will be real), tendency to draw on myself, hobbies that many consider to be “teenage things,” love of a variety of music from multiple decades including today, and willingness to take the kids to do cool stuff. As someone who had a “Cool Aunt,” I always wanted to be one, so I’ve tried to do my best! However, now that some of my nieces and nephews are becoming young adults, I also want to be the aunt that shares some life advice that isn’t typically learned as part of a diploma pathway in high school or as part of a degree program in college. So here goes…

It is okay to not know what you want to do at 18, 21, 29, 39, or older. Yes, there are some people who know what they want to do from the time they are small, and their dream never changes. However, some of us are still learning even in are 40s. At one time, I wanted to be an actress. I even spent two years of college pursuing that dream before realizing that starving artist really doesn’t sound like a fun career choice to me. Then I wanted to be a business something that required not one but two business degrees. Then I ended up getting a Masters in Teaching. A long the way I also thought it would be cool to be a bar tender, writer, yoga instructor, barista, blogger, and life coach. Of those I only ever pursued writing and blogging, but sometimes I think others would be cool. I kind of just want to have a bar tending licence much like I’ve always wanted a motorcycle license even though I don’t actually want to drive a motorcycle. Guess what I currently do that I never would have dreamed about it my teens or 20s? I want to – and thank the good Lord I get to – be a homeschooling mama who works a few flexible contractor jobs for a little extra moo-lah. The point? It’s 100% okay if what your dream is changes!

There is never a perfect time for anything. If you spend your life waiting for the time to be right, then you are going to either (a) miss out on a lot of cool things while you’re waiting for perfection or (b) never do what you wanted to do. I first heard this lesson from a former co-worker who said “If you wait for the perfect time to have kids, then you’ll never have kids.” I think this sentiment is applicable to a lot of things, and I loved it because we spend so much time hearing “wait for the right time” or “it’s not the right time.” In practice this means try not to say things like “I’ll do X, Y, Z when I finish school” or “I’ll do X, Y, Z when I have a house.” Instead consider if you really want to do the thing in question, or if you know you want the thing, start planning how you can make it happen. Obviously, there are some things that have to wait for some timing. For example, “When I have been at a job for one year and saved money, I will buy a car” and “When I have $5,000, I will be able to rent an apartment, turn on utilities, and buy the basic necessities for a first apartment.” These are logical because one helps get the other. Just keep in mind there is a difference in things taking time and planning and waiting for the perfect moment.

It’s okay if your first big love isn’t your forever romance, and it’s okay if your first big love is your forever romance. Some people are lucky enough to meet the one they are meant to be with at a young age and have it all work out. Some of us don’t meet and date the one we are meant to be with until the second, third, or more relationship. It is okay to be one of these people too. The important part is finding a partner who you have common interests with that you will love just as much in your 70s as you did in your 20s or 30s. I’ve now loved Mr Kisby through three different age decades, and I can tell you with him I hit the jackpot! It took a broken road to get there, but as Rascal Flatts once said, “God blessed the broken road, that led me straight to you.” Along with common interests, it helps abundantly to find someone with similar religious/spiritual beliefs, a similar moral compass, and life goals. It also helps if your partner is someone you like along with loving them. Also, if your grandma doesn’t like your partner, take it has a hint and dump them. Grandmas are smart.

Have fun in life! Yes, being an “adult” is stressful, hard work, and involves a lot of boring things like paying bills, cleaning house, and having to make smart decisions liking eating at home versus going to fast food every night (which could lead to stomach issues so make sure your “adult” job as health insurance). However, you still have to find time to play. If you quit doing things that you find fun, then you’re missing out on a lot of good times. I’m an “adult” with several years of experience, but I still play video games, do stuff outside, chase my kid around, read books, color, paint, go on dates with my hubby, watch TV, sew, and hangout with friends occassionally. Doing those fun things are what keep you sane. Some of my best advice is to do one fun thing a day even if it’s just for five minutes. If you’ve got a lot of shit going on, set a timer on your phone for five minutes and until it goes off do something just for fun even if it’s just jamming out at max volume. Your mental and emotional health will thank you for having fun!

Last but not least, who you are as a person is 100% unique to you. As a kid you are often told what is right and wrong, what you should believe, etc. I can tell you from experience that it is okay if those things change for you as you grow. There are things that I thought were black and white issues. Now I can tell you that a lot of times there are gray areas, but that is because I have made a point of educating myself or have personally experienced the gray areas. You should do the same. Likewise, it is okay to recognize that something that was once commonplace is now offensive and to opt to change your perspective. I can also tell you for me personally, my faith in the Holy Trinity is a lot stronger now because of an almost decade long span where I didn’t attend church, pray, or really think about Jesus. But in the end, I found my way back, and having all those life experiences has made my faith stronger. It’s okay if the same has to happen with you. Likewise, it is okay to have been brought up with no spiritual/religious background and want to learn more about your options. It’s also okay to be steadfast in what you believe and never stray. No matter your story, you will end up where you’re supposed to be as long as you keep moving forward.

I could keep going, but man that’s a lot! And I know from experience that too much advice just goes in one ear and out the year because most of us don’t believe things until we experience them. Plus, a lot of us have the attention span of a goldfish, so some people may not have even read this far. This is a long post for me! Take it or leave it, those are all my words of wisdom as a “cool aunt.”

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Truth About Happiness

A couple months ago, someone told me that they think happiness is a scam. However, even after enduring some MEGA unhappiness in May and June, I still don’t think happiness is a scam. I also believe that happiness is more than a mat that sits in a doorway (if you were a teen in the 90s, I hope you get that reference)! However, I will agree that we are taught a lot of false things about happiness. One of the biggest is that happy people are happy all the time. As a generally happy/excitable person, I can assure that this is not true. Happy people also feel a full gamut of other emotions. Trust me, I can be all kinds of angry, sad, jealous, mad, irritated, and anxious too! Another false thing about happiness? A smile equals happiness. Yes, I smile when I’m happy. I also smile when I am nervous, not sure of what to say in a situation, or trying to mask an emotion. Plus, some people just don’t smile. That doesn’t mean they aren’t happy. It just means they have less wrinkles and don’t show their happiness with facial expressions. Finally, I think people confuse happiness and joy. Happiness is very fleeting and tied to specific events. The things that bring me joy are more enduring and fill my cup. That said things that bring me joy can also make me happy, but things that make me happy don’t always bring lots of joy. For example, volunteering brings me joy and usually makes me happy. However, a $1 winning lottery ticket makes me happy for a moment, but it doesn’t bring immense joy.

What do you think is the truth about happiness?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby