pandemic – The Great Kaysby

Random Sunday Thoughts

As another Spring Break comes to a close, there are a multitude of thoughts swirling through my head. Like so many times when this happens, I feel like the best thing to do is attempt to sort them out in writing. Why do it in a blog? Because I’m sure if I’m thinking these things, there is someone else out there who can relate.

Thought 1 – On any given day, you can be both the “picture perfect” mama and “a chicken with her hair on fire” mama. Yesterday, I was the mama who takes the family to the Farmer’s Market in order to shop local and organic. That’s helping other families financially while helping the health of my family! We also did our grocery pickups because we meal plan like champs (even though often the plan gets tweaked midweek when a frozen pizza us substituted into the lineup). Then, we napped for three hours, woke up just in time for bath time, and the realization that we never had dinner. That’s when you go to Dominos in your pajamas with a messy bun and allow your toddler to eat greasy pizza way too late at night while staying up way past their bedtime! This was a great contrast to the “picture perfect” me who had taken the toddler to the library twice earlier in the week, taught him about gardening and growing our own vegetables, and the importance of family outings on nature trails and to the zoo! Spoiler alert, with all that teaching of good things, I may have relied on McDonalds and Burger King a little too much this week! Why both? Because one has $1 drinks and good fries, and the other has Whoppers.

Thought 2 – Flexibility is a way of life. I had these great ambitions of a “self spa” day where I was going to color my hair, do a charcoal mask, and paint my nails. All of these are great thoughts, but when you take a three hour nap while snuggling a toddler who then goes to bed two hours late, the thoughts stay thoughts. For a minute, I was kind of upset about it, then I realized that at least I got a shower and to pluck my eyebrows (they were pretty unsightly…not to mention a dead giveaway that I color my hair when they are thicker). Sometimes it’s the little things that make you smile!

Thought 3 – Does it ever become easier to go back rib work after breaks? Don’t get me wrong. I like my job, but I LOVE being a wife and mom. After a whole week of just getting to be a wife and mom, it is really hard to go back to both. As much as you try, it is really hard to be fully there for both. I’m sure I’m not the only person who has thoughts such as “Did I take the chicken out for dinner?” and “Did I switch the baby’s laundry out?” while at work. Likewise, at home during wife/mom time sometimes I can’t help but think about things that happened at work that day especially if something didn’t get finished that I wanted to complete. Once I get back into the swing of both, it’s always fine. There’s just always that dread the day before returning since it requires sacrificing time with those you love most.

Thought 4 – Why are people so quick to change their tunes based on popular opinions even when they are founded in misconceptions? Just a year ago, the general public was celebrating teachers for their flexibility and quick ability to adapt to non-traditional methods of providing instruction. People were actually talking about how teachers deserved higher pay! Now, some of the same public acts like teachers are horrible, selfish human beings because they put their own families needs first and/or have been anxiety ridden by all the pandemic protocols. FYI…this school year has required more work than any other year in order to meet the needs of all students.

My random thoughts might not make a lot of sense; however, they are a little more sorted out! Just like I knew they would be. 😊 I hope that whatever random thoughts you’re having tonight, you can sort them out too.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Exhaustion Isn’t a Strong Enough Word…

As I was trying to gather my thoughts this evening, I saw this post that someone had shared on Facebook from Education to the Core. What I was struggling to put into words, this picture sums up perfectly. By the end of each day, this is currently how I feel. Why? Because I care.

On the surface caring seems like a great thing. It’s good to care about others and to follow the golden rule of doing unto others as you would have them do to you. It can also be absolutely exhausting. On a typical day, these are things (some overlap and many occur multiple times) that I care about at some point during the day:

Am I being a good mom to LilKsby even though I’m so tired when I get home that there are days I just want to sit and stare at the wall?
Am I being a good wife Mr Kisby by helping around the house and with LilKsby?
Am I going to feel worse about going to bed early and getting physical rest than I would if I did everything I need to get done?
Am I disappointing others when I’m not good company to be around because I’m so exhausted (and some days defeated feeling) after work?
Am I disappointing others when I say “no” to things?
Am I protecting my family from the virus the best I can while maintaining some “peace of mind”?
Am I not looking at the costs of short term “peace of mind” in the long term picture?
Am I selfish for wanting time to “do nothing” and attempt to just relax and have fun?
Am I the only one wearing a mask in public because I care about the health of those around me?
Am I the only one that hasn’t resumed all “normal” activities because there’s still a pandemic going on in the world?
Am I doing any good by washing my clothes and showering as soon as I get home?
Am I following the most correct, most up to date guidance from trusted officials?
Am I the only one that five weeks into school still feels like I don’t know what’s really going on around me on pretty much a daily basis?
Am I protecting my students from Covid?
Am I cleaning their work areas thoroughly enough?
Am I forgetting to clean things that should be obvious high touch points?
Am I sanitizing my own hands enough to prevent spread?
Am I sanitizing my hands so much that it scares my students?
Am I instructing my students in a way that is effective while protecting them from illness?
Am I sanitizing the Chromebook that I take from class to class enough?
Am I doing a good enough job of hiding my emotions every time a student asks a “what if” scenario that I don’t know how to answer?
Am I being a good model in regards to mask practices?
Am I following every “normal” school policy while also implementing all the pandemic policies?
Are my students getting their basic needs met (adequate food, shelter, etc) on their “at home” days?
Am I the only one who wants to shut off thoughts about the day and enjoy home once there that can’t do it?

I fully realize that sometimes right now it may seem like I don’t care. The truth is the exact opposite. I care so much that it is absolutely exhausting emotionally and mentally (sometimes physically) on a daily basis. I think that’s why I like being home so much and find it fun to engage in virtual activity. It allows me to attempt to forget my cares, which could be interchanged with my worries, for just a fraction of time within the safety of my own home.

So until the pandemic quells, I’m going to do my best to not be like Kermit in the meme as I know no one will ever go for work a day, off a day, work a day, off a day schedule. I’m going to attempt to do my best for others while not neglecting myself, and I’m going to try to be the best me I can be. Wish me luck!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

So Long Summer!

Once again it is time to say good-bye to summer as we return to school. No matter what your stance is on returning to school, I believe we can all agree that this has been the most bizarre summer of our lifetimes (unless your over 102 and can remember the Spanish Flu Pandemic of 1918). Never before have we had to consider social distancing rules when going to the grocery store; never before have we had to remember to always have a mask with us so that we can be sure to follow mandates. We’ve experienced the closure of summer activities like swimming at public pools, the switch from in person to virtual summer camps, and the cancellation of favorite parts of summer such as vacations. You always hear about how summer can change people, and I think that is more true of this summer than anyone that I’ve ever faced.

For some of us, change is a very hard thing especially when it comes to personal growth as often times personal growth is difficult. In my own life, this summer has taught me to not be afraid to stand up for my beliefs. As someone who doesn’t necessarily like confrontation, this can be very difficult. However, I’ve realized that my beliefs are important, and when I don’t let them be heard, then it impacts me internally in a negative way. This summer has also taught me that sometimes you need to tell people no even though you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Again, as someone who likes to make everyone happy, this is a difficult task. However, I’ve discovered that if you’re always a “Yes Man”, then you’re denying taking care of yourself in the process. Self care is very important! I’ve always said that if you don’t take care of yourself, then you can’t be your best self for everyone else. That’s been very true this summer!

Another key part of this summer has been the difficulty of learning how to deal with the unknown. This is the hardest for me. While I may not necessarily like to have everything planned to a T, I do like having the ability to be in control of situations. (Which is why I like to drive instead of be the passenger.) During this pandemic, there has been very little over which I’ve truly had control. I can’t control mandates; I can’t control the actions of other people; I can’t control the impact of the virus. What I can control is my response to all of those things. There have been days when my response is crying and feeling sick because of the things I cannot control. There have been other days when I’ve been able to lose myself in fun things and enjoy each moment. Most days, a combination of both happens. Thankfully, I’ve got a great circle that loves me on all the days!

As we enter the last four days before teachers have to report to school, it would be really easy to have four of the rough days. However, my plan is to immerse myself in the fun moments because come Monday, I really have no control over what happens. If the weather holds, then this means four days of splash pad time with LilKsby, reading on my Kindle, painting, and finding some activities to look forward to throughout the rest of the year (this is always a mood helper for me).

As we go into the unknown of the school year, I know I’m going to have to keep working on dealing with the unknown. I also plan to keep standing up for my beliefs, and I plan to keep being okay with saying no. One thing this summer has taught me is that LilKsby observes a lot of what Mr Kisby and I do. I want him to observe positive changes in us that he will embrace in his own life as he grows up.

How have you positively changed this summer?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Teacher Talk

During a typical summer by the time July 22 rolls around, most teachers are starting to get back in the school groove. With school usually starting in about a week and a half, most teachers have already started Professional Development sessions, working on their classrooms, thinking about plans for the first week, and considering squeezing in one more day trip to the zoo or weekend getaway. In a normal year, teachers are talking with their colleagues about expectations for the year and planning for Open House.

This isn’t a normal school year; this is a pandemic year.

Instead of getting ready for a start of school the first week of August, many districts have pushed their start dates to the end of August to implement pandemic procedures. Professional Developments have been moved to online, and though the topic for the session said one thing all conversations turn to Covid-19. Working on classrooms is difficult without knowing for sure what setup will be required to look like. Even Open Houses are going virtual for the year! What’s normally an exciting time has become riddled with anxiety and what seems like a million questions about reopening that no one can know the answers to with 100% certainty because no one can predict next week’s Coronavirus numbers.

If you talk to a teacher about the upcoming school year, then you will get a variety of answers. Some are afraid to go back in-person while some can’t wait to be physically back in the classroom. Some are anxious about the possibility of bringing the virus to their own homes or spreading to their own parents with co-morbidities (a term that has become way to “normal” since the pandemic). They may miss in-person instruction, but they also want to stay home to protect their families. There are those who don’t really have an option because their family relies on their income or health insurance who will do as told because when it comes down to it they really have no choice.

Regardless of their position on the return to school, teachers are all thinking some of the same things. What will our group discussions be like without being able to see faces through masks? How will we implement cooperative learning strategies and group work with minimal risk of spreading the virus? What can we expect our schedule to look like so that we can begin to plan for those who have trouble with schedule changes? How can we teach everything we are supposed to while implementing all the pandemic procedures? Of course there is also the biggest question of all: will any of us die from the virus?

With so many unknowns you can see why teachers are having a rough time right now. Luckily, we aren’t alone and have support systems with other teachers. For me, the support has come from two places. One is the Blessing Teacher 2 Teacher group on Facebook. It was started by Kristen Hall and Heidi Hamlyn as a way for teachers to send blessings to one another as we all know that teachers tend to buy for others before themselves. Now, with over 10,000 members, it has become a group where you can openly discuss how you’re feeling about the pandemic, things you need prayers/positive thoughts about, how many jobs you have besides teaching, and much more. It feels like a group of friends supporting one another! My second support system has been my own colleagues. Even though some of us haven’t seen each other since March, all the texts, private messages, video chats, and social media posts show that we have each others backs! These support systems that allow us teachers to talk with one another are current keys to sanity.

For all the non teachers reading this, please be patient with the teachers and other school personnel in your life. They don’t mean to be short with you or antisocial. They don’t mean to be overly emotional or overly preoccupied. They don’t mean to be quickly confrontational. They are trying their best to rest and relax, but with so many unknowns it is very difficult to be positive even for the most upbeat people. Be patient with us. Most of us are okay, but we need you to be patient and not critical.

To everyone, stay safe, stay healthy, and do your best to stay positive!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

To the Class(es) of 2020…I’m Sorry

To the Class(es) of 2020,

First and foremost, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that your academic school year was cut short; however, I’m more sorry that you missed out on all of the extra events that school provides which you cannot find anywhere else. I’m sorry that you missed out on baseball and softball games, tennis matches, spring formals, senior proms, awards ceremonies, graduations, breakfasts and lunches with friends, and last day good-byes. How could you have known on your last day in March that you should’ve said, “See you next year” instead of “Have a good weekend”? Personally, as a teacher, I wish I would’ve said a lot more on March 12 than what I said: “Have a good weekend.” (We were on a scheduled day off on March 13 when the NTI news came.) I feel for every student who has missed out during the last 6 weeks, but for those who were somehow a piece of the Class of 2020 puzzle, here are some special notes for you.

Pre-School and Kindergarten Class of 2020: In a lot of ways you are the luckiest of the Classes of 2020. If you’re like me, then by the time you’re 30, you won’t remember a lot of Pre-School and Kindergarten. To this day, the only parts I remember of Kindergarten graduation were the blow up stegosaurus and song about PBJ. My biggest hope for you is that when you get to return to school you still have a passion for whatever was your favorite part of school. If you loved reading time, I hope you still love reading time. If you loved art or PE, I hope you are still as creative or physically active when you go back to school.

5th Grade and 8th Grade Class of 2020: Having gone to elementary and middle school many moons ago, I didn’t have a graduation ceremony when making these transitions. However, I understand why you’re upset about missing yours. First of all, you are missing out on saying good-bye to the place where you’ve grown up. For 5th graders, you’re not getting to say good-bye to the place that took you from being a little child to a pre-teen. Everything that has been so familiar to you for 6 years will be replaced with something new and unfamiliar. That’s scary. For 8th graders, you’re not getting to say good-bye to the place that took you from pre-teen to teen. Middle school is only a brief time period, but so much happens in middle school that starts to shape the person you are going to be as an adult. Middle school is a time of physical changes, emotional changes, and a lot of friendship changes yet there is still the safety net of childhood. You’re about to find yourself in a world where credits matter, career pathways are emphasized, and college is talked about from day one. I’m sorry that you missed out on two months of being the big fish in your small pond. I promise that even though you’re going to go back to being a little fish in a bigger pond, you will eventually be the big fish again. I hope that when you go to either middle or high school that you’re not scared of the change. I hope that you go into your new school with a positive attitude ready to take on the world!

Senior Class of 2020: I’m so sorry. You’ve been robbed. You’ve been robbed of experiences that you will never get to replace: prom, getting your yearbook signed, graduation photos, traditional graduation, Project Grad, graduation parties, and even a final summer of fun freedom. I know there are no words that are currently going to make you feel better about these losses, and I cannot begin to imagine how you feel about missing out on everything. I may have hated my own high school graduation (it was outside with 40 degree weather and raining, and girls had to wear see through white gowns), but there was so much about the end of my senior year that I loved. There was fun with friends that I still think of and find myself laughing about! I’m so sorry that you’re missing out on that. If I had a magic wand that I could wave and make all of this change for you, then I would wave it in a heartbeat. My hope for you is that you are one day able to look back on all this and see a silver lining. I hope that you’re finding ways to connect with your friends and teachers. I hope that you are still finding ways to celebrate victories such as earning scholarships, getting accepted to college, and maintaining desired GPAs. I hope that you know you are loved by your parents, friends, family members, teachers, and countless others who don’t even know you but are wishing you well. I hope you know that there are generous people who want to bless you if you’ll open your heart to them. I hope that you don’t let this experience negatively impact the course of your life.

College Graduates of 2020: You all are in an interesting situation. For one, a lot of your classes already do the majority of their work online even if they also have in person meetings. For two, attending your graduation ceremony is optional. (Of the three degrees that I earned, I only went to the graduation ceremony for one of them.) That said, you are still missing out on some valuable experiences during your last semester of college. For a lot of degrees, the last semester is when you student teach or do internships or field work which you’ve had to miss out on completing. This means you’ve missed out on valuable work experience that helps with your resume and post graduation job search. Additionally, you’ve missed out on a lot of the last semester help that you’re adviser can give you. For those seeking an advanced degree, you’re missing out on planning time with an adviser; for those seeking immediate employment, you’re missing out on job searching with an adviser. My hope for you is that you will find yourself successful in your next endeavor!

I want to leave you with the video that I always play for my kids at the end of the school year. I hope that you will find some advice in it that will help you in laugh or at least get a laugh.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby