thegreatkaysby – The Great Kaysby

Purposeful Direction

“I have direction.”

“Yeah, towards the mall.”

Who else remembers that exchange between Cher and Josh in Clueless? Iconic, right? I was thinking about that line tonight after reading St Paul’s First Letter to Timothy. I know you’re thinking, “How does a movie that defined the mid-90s tie to the Bible?” In verse 1:5, Paul specifically states the purpose of his letter. That made me think about people and how many know their purpose in life and can explicitly say it without wavering. Then I wondered if there are more people like Cher early in the movie who know they have a purpose yet haven’t figured out what it is. Along with this, how many of us have – like Josh – assumed we know someone’s purpose when we truly know them very little and have no clue?

The good news is if you do not yet know your purpose, you can figure it out, and as long as there is breath in your lungs, you have time to begin living it. So how can you find your purpose? It starts with a little self reflection. If you need some guiding questions try these:

What drives you to get out of bed in the morning even when you don’t want to get up?
What do you hope people remember about you after you meet them?
What pulls at your heartstrings and will move you to tears even if you aren’t a crier?
What do you enjoy doing that blesses others?
What gifts and talents have you been given?

Something else to consider as you reflect is what are your love languages. Understanding these can help you determine the purposeful direction you need to follow. Finally, remember that your purpose is unique to you and should not be exactly the same as anyone else’s.

Good luck finding direction to somewhere besides the mall!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Let Them Be…

If I could only ever share one piece of advice when it comes to raising children, it would be this: LET THEM BE BORED! As a parent myself, I know that this tidbit is going to be met with protest, complaining, perhaps a little crying (from both of you lol), and grumpiness. However, it is important to stay strong and provide your child(ren) the opportunity to be bored.

Why?

Think back to your own childhood when you were bored. Those times of boredom taught you a lot of lessons. One, they taught you independence. Times of boredom allowed you to figure out on your own how to find things to do and learn what you were interested in. Two, they taught you how to be creative. The moments you are bored are the moments that a paper bag becomes a toy or a cardboard box becomes a house! Finally, the moments of boredom taught us how to survive without being entertained 24/7. Kids (even my own) struggle with learning to entertain themselves because they never have to. All of this is why I’m working on allowing LilKsby to be bored. It’ll benefit him in the long run!

So let them be bored!

What would your one tip of parenting advice be?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

It’s Up To You

“If it is to be, it is up to me.”

That’s it. That’s the post.

Just kidding.

“If it is to be, it is up to me.” Some might hear this quote and dismiss it as sounding self-absorbed. They might think, “Well, this person thinks it’s all about them!” I can see where it would be easy to make this interpretation with the “Me, me, me!” mentality that is so precedented. However, others might look at this quote and think, “That’s a great point. If I want to succeed, I have to put in the work.”

Often times people (myself included) fall into the trap of “it will happen if it is meant to be” as though we expect things to happen magically. Along the same lines we might think, “Well, I hope this happens.” Then we find ourselves in a loop of disappointment when things do not progress like we want.

But wait! Was action ever taken?

No.

So what if we listened to the quote? What change might we see if we started doing the work to get to where we want to be? How quickly could we start to see progress? How quickly could we be where we wanted to be?

I know where I could be with just a little bit of action and growth sprinkled with pinch of consistency! Now, should I go for it and make it happen or keep hoping without action?

What will you choose?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Let Your Light Shine

Close your eyes. Think about your home on the darkest night with no moonlight. How do you see? Now imagine that in addition to the dark night the power is out, your cell phone is out of battery, and none of your flashlights are working. You have one candle. Would you let your light shine, or would you hide it under a cover as you wait for “the right time”?

Obviously, if you don’t want to trip and fall or have someone else in the house trip and fall, you are going to shine your light! You may even give your light away to someone else in the house that needs it more. You may have everyone gather in one room so that everyone in the house can be blessed by the light!

Common sense, right?

If it is such common sense, then why do people often shine a physical light for all to see in the darkness yet dim their inner light that can provide people with reignited passion, hope, belief, etc? Shouldn’t we be willing to share any light literal or symbolic that will help others?

The easy answer to that question is, “Yes.” I could prattle on about why I think people do this, and if I did, I might hit on some valid points. However, I am no expert when it comes to why people make the choices they do. So instead of surmising about things I cannot know for sure, I’m going to issue a challenge.

Are you ready for it?

This week, I challenge you to be a light to those around you by sharing kindness and showing love. Even if you only make a lasting difference to one person, you have shared the light!

Xoxo,

The Great Kaysby

And Then There Was Calm

“The wind ceased, and there was a great calm.”

It’s a small line; it’s two simple sentences combined. Yet the power behind the words is abundant. How many times in life do we experience maelstroms both figurative and literal? How often do we yearn for the calm? Then when it arrives, how many of us miss the calm because our emotions are still too turbulent?

As I have gotten older, I find myself more and more drawn to acknowledging the importance of the calm. It is in the calm that you discover important things that can be easily overlooked like what is truly important to you and the purpose that you have been called to fulfill. In the calm is also where you find great enjoyment in the little things like reading a book, working a puzzle, and painting a picture. Likewise, the calm is where you feel at peace and relaxed. The calm is where your body can heal itself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Right now, writing this…this is my calm. And trust me, it is beautiful! It is so beautiful that I want everyone to learn how to experience the calm!

So how do you learn to experience the calm in a world that is full of storms? That’s a great question, and it is one that does not have a set answer. It takes personal reflection and introspection. No two of us in this world are exactly a like (thank God!) so no two methods of finding the calm will be the same. For me it has involved daily quiet time, limiting social media, and attempting to do one thing daily that brings me joy. It has also involved becoming more disciplined with time management and organization (weaknesses for my Phoebe Buffay like personality). Does this mean my life is without storms? Absolutely not. However, I am becoming better (keeping in mind progress not perfection) at working through them calmly and thoughtfully as opposed to flying off the handle. (Red headed temper is for real, that’s all I’m saying.)

My challenge to you in the “Month of Love” is to practice finding your calm. As you search for it and find it, you will see a positive change in yourself. Enjoy finding your calm!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Hardest Life Lesson

Are you ready to know the hardest life lesson? It’s simple: You can’t save everyone.

Harsh words, huh?

I still remember hearing them my second or third year as a teacher MANY moons ago. When the other teacher said those words to me, I was absolutely stunned. In hindsight, I do not know if I was more surprised by the veteran teacher saying that to me, or the fact that there was so much truth to those words. Either way, it was one of those moments that I will never forget.

The words stuck with me throughout my teaching career, and they have frequently come into my mind when dealing with other life situations. As someone who is naturally inclined to want to nurture people, help them through difficult times, and solve problems for them, it is hard to realize that you can only do so much. In fact, as a “fixer” it can be draining when someone refuses to tell you that they could use some assistance. It is especially gut wrenching when you know that you could have made a difference.

So what can you do for those who will not allow you to assist? You can pray for them. Even if they do not follow your faith, you can still pray for them. No one can stop you from praying for someone! You can also show them kindness and mercy through little acts. Just don’t overdo it as kindness overload can further burden people. It’s a fine line. Also, sometimes the most kind and merciful thing you can do is give people space and time. A lot can be solved just by being quiet and still. Allow them the room to experience this.

Perhaps the best thing you can do is remember that even the hardest of life lessons are valuable even when they are a tough pill to swallow.

What’s the hardest life lesson you have ever learned?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Reality & Me

Picture this. I’m in my kitchen preparing a meal for our family today, and I get to thinking about how pleased I am that I am using mostly leftovers to create a new dish. It makes happy to not be wasting food, and even though cooking is not my favorite thing to do, I like that I am able cook a warm meal when there is snow covering everything. (Seriously, we were prepared to eat sandwiches for like a week if the power went out in the storm.) As I was cooking, I got to thinking that this is not the kind of meal that you would see on a reality TV cooking or baking show. However, it was the kind of meal that you would see in a lot of people’s homes. That got me to thinking, if I was responsible for coming up with reality shows, what would the content cover? Immediately, I thought of three that would be for me!

Cooking Show – This show would go beyond just what happens in the kitchen. I would want to teach families how to meal plan based on a grocery budget, how to make the most of the weekly ads for their favorite grocery store (mine is Kroger, and I checkout the new ad every Wednesday!), and how to prepare quick, healthy meals that only utilize common ingredients. None of that you have to buy a giant thing of an herb that you will only use one sprig of nonsense! I would then take a family shopping for the week, help them prep their meals, and discuss ways to reuse any leftovers. For example, if they had pork tenderloin as the main dish one night, then they could use the leftovers for sandwiches the next day. I have come to believe that a lot of people want to make better meals at home, but they could use some real guidance as opposed to cooking shows that are either to gourmet or seem more focused on chaos than learning.

Travel Show – I would want to showcase something that most people would not think to visit. Perhaps I would do a world tour of museums or visit a variety of National Parks. My goal would be to feature places that appeal to an array of interests while also being open to those not wanting to take out a loan just to go on vacation. There would also be specific episodes geared towards families, married couples, and single adults.

Art Show – Can we all agree that performing arts shows have basically been done to death at this point? I think it would be cool to see a visual arts competition. I’m thinking something like Bob Ross level of calm where people just paint some Happy Trees and see who comes out with the best painting after a given time. I have great memories of watching The Joy of Painting on Sunday mornings, and I feel like the world needs more art like that. I realize you can just watch most of it on YouTube, but the competitive aspect would be a lot of fun!

If you were in charge of reality TV, what would your content cover?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

It Matters To That One

Perhaps you have heard this story before by Loren Eiseley…

A man and boy were walking along the shoreline, and the boy kept picking up starfish and tossing them back in the sea. He did this over and over again. Finally, the man said, “There are thousands of starfish on the shore drying out. What difference are you making?” The boy looked at him and replied, “It matters to that one.”

Eiseley’s actual words are much more elegant, but that is the gist. I have long loved the message of that story, and I believe that it can be a very helpful thought to keep in mind in this tumultuous world. Often times when we pursue something, we get frustrated when it doesn’t become “the next big thing,” and we quit because we have not had a sensational impact. Perhaps we give up because something is not as easy as we thought it would be. When these mindsets take hold, it can be easy to miss the little impacts we make.

So how can we open our eyes, hearts, and minds and commit to making little impacts?

Remember the purpose behind what you are doing. It may only have an impact on you, but you never know who is watching and might follow your lead. For example, when I started writing “Matthew & Me,” I did it because I knew that I needed a deep dive into the Gospels, and I knew that as a sinner there might be other people with similar questions that they were afraid to ask. Now there are five devotionals, and though none of them are bestsellers, I’m not done writing. The devotionals have made a difference with my faith, and that makes the effort worth it. If it opens up conversations for someone and helps bring one person to know Jesus, then that one difference will be extraordinary!
Find ways to be helpful to others at least once a week. There are so many people out there with various needs, and I dare say that some are afraid to voice their needs. You can make an impact just by sending a genuine “How are you?” or “I thought of you today” message. You can put food in a roadside pantry; you can donate items you no longer need; you can help a neighbor with a task. It doesn’t have to be a big production. Side note, if you have kids, let them see you do these things. They may follow your lead!
Share your experiences with those around you in an open and honest fashion. If you are on social media, then you have a platform in which you can bring light to topics and make a positive impact on those around you. When you are open and true, you will find that you can help people realize they are not alone. You can also share resources that might have a positive impact on others. Feel free to share my blog anytime! 😂 Seriously though, can you imagine the change that could come from more people using their platforms to be a blessing to others?

That’s a lot of serious thought, and a lot of info to digest. If you take nothing else from this post, remember the starfish.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Well…We Already Did…

Come up with a crazy business idea.

So maybe our business idea isn’t crazy. After all, we, aka Letters & Lore, currently publish books through Amazon KDP. Our idea was simple: we wanted to make our dreams of being published authors come true. Instead of waiting around and hoping without action, we leapt in head first. Currently, we have lined notebooks, a fictional Christmas novella, books for kids, a business planner, journals, and devotionals. This year we plan to add a full length historical fiction novel AND put content on Audible. The last one feels a little crazy, but only because I have not yet done the research to find out how it works. For the last two years, completing work that matches our dreams has felt right and not crazy.

Crazy would be wanting to attach whales to icebergs in order to start an ice distribution business. Thank you Dr Heidegger’s Experiment.

Crazy would be wanting to sell ice over the internet in the early 00s using your daughter’s wedding fund. Thank you Jack Geller.

What is your biz idea be it crazy or not?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Joy Jar

What brings you joy? Do you find joy in the little every day things, or do you only find joy in big events? Maybe you experience joy in both! Perhaps, you are struggling to find your joy at all. No matter your current scenario, I have a little mental health exercise that might help you. I call it “The Joy Jar.”

First and foremost, let me provide this disclaimer. I am not a licensed therapist, psychologist, etc that has a background in mental health. My suggestions are not a replacement for their help. Also, this is not my original idea, but I think it is 100% worth sharing.

Now…

“The Joy Jar” is a simple concept. Throughout a given time frame, fill the jar with slips of paper describing something that happened which brought you joy. As the jar fills up, you will have a visual representation of all the things in life that bring you joy. Once the jar is full (or your time frame is up), empty the jar and review all of the things that brought you joy. Your heart will be warmed by the love and memories! For a long term joy reminder, tape the pieces of paper into a notebook that you can revisit.

The How To…

Find a jar like object (mine is an old flower vase) and decorate it if desired.
Find some paper (I use scraps of paper or those free pads of paper you get at vendor events), a writing utensil, and scissors that you can keep close to your “Joy Jar.”
As things bring you joy, write them down on the paper, cut them out, and drop them in the jar.
Fill the jar.
Empty and repeat.

For me “The Joy Jar” is a simple tool, but the rewards of it are astronomical. When I reviewed my 2025 jar, it reiterated my “why” in life, reminded me of wonderful moments, and filled my heart with an abundance of love and happiness! Side note, do not wait until an hour before midnight on New Year’s Eve to start going through your jar. I 100% had to finish it on New Year’s Day!

If “The Joy Jar” can help one other person, then my mission of sharing this is accomplished. I hope you find your joy in 2026!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

New Year, Now What?

It’s a New Year! One of the first things that you are inundated with at the start of any year is an abundance of ads, videos, podcasts, etc to help you make this the best year yet! Another thing you see in abundance is posts from people (who you may or may not know because let’s face it so many are sponsored ads) sharing their resolutions. In many ways it is as though culture is pushing you to make some sort of groundbreaking change because of the new year. But what about those of us who are having a hard time reflecting? What about those of us who need more than a day to think about the trajectory of our next year, five years, ten years, etc?

Some of us just need a couple of days to breathe. If that is your next best step, then that is okay.

Personally, I have not written any goals for 2026 yet. I have reflected on all of the things that brought me joy in 2025. In fact, during 2025, I kept a “Joy Jar.” Most of the time (sometimes I forgot) when something brought me joy, I wrote it down on a scrap of paper and put it in the jar. It was really cool to spend time reviewing all of my moments of joy! Plus, it illustrated what things bring me the most joy. That’s pretty cool knowledge to have!

So knowing what brings me joy, why am I procrastinating on making goals? Simple. I’m not sure what I want my goals to be yet. I know what brings me joy, and I generally know my God-given purpose in life. I also know that there are about 1.7 million things that I would like to do. However, what I need to time to reflect on before setting goals is which of those things I like to do will actually support a bigger purpose. Spoiler, my love of “brain candy” phone games is 100% not supporting my bigger purpose. Facts.

Knowing I’m a little all over the place, what’s next for me?

Pray on it. No matter your faith (feel free to use any of my books if you need to find faith), take time to pray over what truly matters in your life. Pray for your heart, mind, and soul to be opened.
Think about your RIGHT NOW WHY. What is the thing that currently gets you out of bed even when you’ve only had two hours of sleep? What can you do in the next 90 days to fuel that RIGHT NOW WHY?
Visualize what you want your life to look like a year from now. On December 31, 2026, do you want to look back and go “Damn, I did a lot of cool things and am closer to my dreams!” or do you want to go, “Crap. Another year gone and nothing has changed.”
Revisit the dreams you have let go. Maybe you were writing a book that you’ve yet to finish (ME!), or maybe you have wanted to start a podcast. Are these things you really want in life or were they fleeting in a moment? Learning to distinguish lifelong dreams from flights of fancy is a BIG step!
Think about who will be impacted by your dreams coming true! What do you want them to take away from watching you go for your dreams?
When the time is right (within reason, like don’t want until November), write down your goal. Then break it into benchmarks with dates. Remember, a goal without a deadline is just a pipe dream! Also, it is okay if the date changes as long as you don’t give up!
Lastly, as you are working on your goals, remember it is normal if they are not easy or popular. Most things worth working for take hard work, determination, and may be viewed as strange. Do not let what others think stop you from achieving what you have been put on this earth to achieve. YOU CAN DO IT!

Guess it is time for me to take my own advice! Tomorrow, I’m going to get to work!

What about you? Do you know what your next steps are?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Stop and Watch the Animals

What skills or lessons have you learned recently?

In a fast paced, almost always connected world, the most important lesson is to stop and watch the animals. Today, we seized the day, and we went to the zoo instead of doing our typical homeschool day. One of the best parts of the day was when we sat and ate snacks while watching the lions and giraffes! Watching them filled me with such a sense of calm and peace. The feeling was enhanced by the warm sun on my face, gentle breeze blowing through the trees, and the refreshing sent of outside air. It was one of those feelings that served to remind me of the importance of slowing down and being present in the little moments. During this crazy time of year, I think we could all use a moment to stop and watch the animals!

A Place Where Dreams Are Born

Do you have a favorite place you have visited? Where is it?

“My home where dreams are born, and time is never planned. Just think of lovely things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever in Never Never Land!”

Remember those iconic words from “Never Never Land”? As a child (before growing up), Peter Pan’s home checked all the boxes for a favorite location! It had pirates and mermaids; it had a secret underground house and a cave! Not to mention the fact that it was an island. Plus, there was a lot of singing which is always fun! JM Barrie knew how to create a place that felt personal to us yet familiar to all.

Unfortunately, as we grow up, sometimes we forget how to find our own Never Never Land. We become so busy with the mundane – jobs, bills, etc – that it can be hard to take time to visit different places much less figure out a favorite. Sometimes we even stop dreaming about seeing exotic places that to us would be like Mermaid Lagoon or Pirate Cove. However, one thing I have realized is that to be a favorite place to visit, the location does not have to be exotic. In fact, some of my favorites have always been simplistic. So what are they?

As a child, my favorite place to visit was my Grandma’s house in Kansas. Oddly enough, I never called it Grandma and Grandpa’s. Where they lived had a lot of things we did not get to enjoy at home. They had Sonic for getting Limeades; they had Casey’s for getting Taco Pizza. Plus, there were a lot of cool touristy things to do that never really changed which provided comfort and nostalgia. Bonus, they had Keno before it was popular. It was fascinating to sit and watch people play!

Fast forward to adulthood, and I still enjoy sitting and watching people. Though I will say the locations have changed a bit. Now I also have way more favorite places to visit including:

Half Moon Cay (favorite Carnival Cruiseline Port)

Niagara Falls (favorite place to see waterfalls)

Holiday World (favorite theme park)

Anywhere With Mountains or a Campground (favorite place to unplug)

Museum or Art Gallery (favorite learning experiences)

Gettysburg (favorite Civil War battlefield)

America’s Historic Triangle (favorite general historical area)

St Louis (favorite place with lots of free activities)

Buc-cee’s (favorite place with clean bathrooms while traveling)

The more I get to visit new places, the more I find myself adding things to the list! They may not be Never Neverland, but they are places where dreams are born!

What are your favorite places to visit?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Five Things I’m Good At…

This is a great daily prompt! I am always fascinated by the responses to questions like these because they can go a variety of ways. The easiest way to answer is always with skills for which you have received recognition. It is also easy to answer with something related to hobbies you enjoy or a hidden talent that you may possess. I mean wouldn’t we all agree that we are amazing singers in the shower and put on the best concerts while in there? The more difficult way to answer this question is with intrinsic things that others may not know about yourself. Perhaps you would also come up with a list that includes extrinsic and intrinsic things. For me, I feel like it is a combination of both!

One thing that I am great at is worrying and letting the things I worry about distract me. In fact, sometimes I think I get some kind of odd pleasure out of having something to worry about. Part of this is a predisposition to worrying. I 100% believe that things like worry and anxiety have a genetic component. Which is why – though it can come across as toxic to some – I try to always find a positive lining to things. It’s for my own good. Sometimes I worry about things so much that after they have come to pass, I find myself simply exhausted. This is the case today. We started the day with having to take a cat to the pet (our cats are family), and I was afraid something was going to be wrong. Why? Probably because I’m still grieving the cat we lost this past summer especially on days when LilKsby brings her up a lot (which he did this morning), but also because the cat didn’t have the best checkup last year. Praise God (yes, I pray over my cats), the cat got a perfect checkup this year! What a relief!

Another thing I am good at is finding joy in the little things. I believe this is truly an amazing skill to have! For example, I am finding joy right now in writing this blog. I also find joy in watching it snow, cuddling up in my chair in front of the twinkling Christmas tree lights, and wandering through art galleries. I think that one of the biggest things that can make a difference in our lives is finding joy in little things.

Guess what else I’m good at? Being creative! I love writing, scrapbooking, painting, sewing, finding ‘reuses’ for items, and singing. I also love to dance even though I have the rhythm of a bucket! There’s something magical about taking something and molding it into something new.

I am good at being social. It can be exhausting because I am an extroverted introvert, but I can do the whole “peopling” thing. It actually recharges my battery to “people” the majority of the time. I love listening to the stories people have to tell and seeing all the wonderful connections that we have. When you get out there and get to “peopling” you learn just what a small world it is!

Finally, I’m good at word puzzles. I absolutely love word puzzles! I love learning the definitions of different words, I love learning the origins of words, and I love utilizing the words that I use from crosswords. It’s fun to be like, “That’s not light brown; that’s ecru.” I also love number puzzles like Sudoku! Puzzles are fun past time, and I like to think they are good for the brain!

What are five things you’re good at?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Wonder of a Weekend Getaway

Who can relate to not being able to completely relax at home? Maybe you’re distracted by dishes in the sink, thinking about laundry that needs to be done, or just feeling like you’re “supposed to be doing something productive” because you’re at home. I can absolutely relate to this! That is why I struggle with the concept of a relaxing “staycation” even if going to do fun activities during the day. To combat this, I have found that one of the best ways to relax, recharge, and reset is the Weekend Getaway.

What constitutes a Weekend Getaway? In my book it is spending a night or two away from home with family, your significant other, a friend or friends, or yourself. My idea of a Weekend Getaway also involves a place that you can easily drive to in three hours or less. The location does not really matter as much as the ability to unplug from everyday life. You can spend your Weekend Getaway in a hotel, tent, cabin, rental property, etc…whichever you find the most relaxing! It might even change based on the activities that you have in mind for the particular Weekend Getaway!

For me the best Weekend Getaways involve things I cannot do at home. For example, one of my absolute favorite things to do is to order room service or have food delivered and eat it in my pajamas while in bed. I find it super relaxing to eat something tasty while also being super comfy! Another favorite activity is to write while I am on a Weekend Getaway. I find that when I am away from home it can be a lot easier for me to focus on my writing as there are way fewer distractions. This can also be applied to reading! If I am with other people, I also love chatting, playing games, and doing activities like hiking, visiting museums, going to zoos, attending food/beverage tastings, and shopping. I am also a huge fan of little things that I do not have at home like super hot showers, tubs with jets, and fireplaces! Oh, and if it is summer and water activities are available, I’m there!

But the most important part of the Weekend Getaway? Returning home feeling rested and recharged. There is restorative power in getting out of your routine (i.e. comfort zone)! I highly recommend a Weekend Getaway at least once a season as a way to restore balance!

Do you think Weekend Getaways work wonders? What are some of your favorite Weekend Getaways?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby