Warning – this post is going to contain some very poignant questions. Writing this comes at a time when controversial elections are coming and more people who indirectly impacted my life are dying from their demons. If you’re open to reflection based on that, then please continue to read.
Currently where we reside, there are signs everywhere that say “Vote Yes for Life.” Every time I see one, I feel compelled to write. Until now, I’ve been afraid to write because I’ve been afraid of the backlash that could come with it. However, I keep thinking that not writing about it is worse than what people will think about what I write. I concluded that not writing is kind of like the concept that there are no innocent bystanders. So here goes!
Why does a sign get me all in my feels (like just typing this makes me shaky with emotion)? Because on paper I’ve had an abortion. At the time, I didn’t know that is what it was. I had suffered a miscarriage, and I was told that the best option would be a procedure called a dilation and curettage commonly referred to as a D&C. Without that procedure, waiting to fully miscarry naturally could have come with a lot of health risks including severe hemorrhage. Given that I wanted a healthy outcome in a horrific situation, we scheduled the procedure. Grief aside, everything went well. When the medical report came to my online chart, I read it the same as I would have any other medical results. Guess what the medical report called a D&C? It called the procedure a “medical abortion.” My grief over the loss of my child was quickly matched with feeling confusion given how often the uninformed masses assume any woman who has had an abortion is a horrible person. In my heart, I knew that I was (and am) a good person. From my own experience I got to thinking about if strong “Yes For Life” people know that abortion isn’t a black and white topic. I also wondered if they revere all life as much as that of unborn babies. As my mind kept going I kept thinking of all of the following questions for adamant “Yes For Life” people.
1. Do you believe the life of the baby is more important than the life of the mother if she is gravely at risk? Personally, I cannot imagine keeping a woman from her own life saving medical care! Side note, some doctors have been afraid of performing life saving procedures for those miscarrying or having ectopic pregnancies with all of the trigger laws. Is that being “yes for life”?
2. Do you believe the life of a baby is more important than the life of children with bodies physically not developed enough to safely deliver the baby that they conceived from rape, incest, or both? Because I cannot imagine risking the life of a ten year old who is practically still a baby herself.
3. Do you believe the life of a baby is more important than the mental and physical anguish of forcing a woman who was raped to give birth? I can’t even fathom the damage done just by rape much less the added anguish of an unplanned pregnancy.
4. Are you for the death penalty? Because last I checked, the death penalty takes lives too. If you’re truly pro life, shouldn’t you strive to save their soul instead of judge and execute them for their sins?
5. Do you believe that you should be able to kill someone who is an intruder in your home? Because that would effectively end their life.
6. Does it bother you that in 2021 over 21,000 people died from opiate overdoses in the US? That’s around 57 people per day. Are their lives not valued? What if you could have saved them with Narcon? Addiction is a disease, and shouldn’t they be afforded opportunities to live and find treatment? Isn’t that part of being “yes for life”?
7. Does it bother you how many people die because of mental health issues? Don’t those people deserve to have access to help so that they may say yes to a good life?
8. Do you believe in assisting those who need help with housing, basic necessities, and income benefits in order to survive? Because I’m pretty sure that surviving is a key part to staying alive.
9. This one I’ve asked before, but hypocrisy drives me batty. Were you yelling “My body, my choice” when it came to vaccine mandates for your own body, yet when it comes to someone else making a personal decision for their body that does not impact you whatsoever, you yelled “Vote yes to life! Outlaw abortion!” Does that make you pro saving lives or pro birth?
I know these are a lot of questions, but I for one am tired of feeling judged by a sign by the road because I’ve on paper had an abortion, and because I don’t believe it is a black and white issue. At the end of the day, here is what I know. The two biggest things that I have learned from my own walk with Jesus is that (1) his ultimate request of me was love thy neighbor be they a sinner or saint and (2) leave judging someone for their actions to God. Additionally, I know that the last time this country was a theocracy, which seems to be what some people want, men and women were hung as witches because people didn’t like their actions. By the way that wasn’t very “Yes For Life” either. At the end of the day, I know my thoughts won’t change people’s opinions on abortion laws. However, it makes me feel better to get my thoughts out of my head and into words.
The Great Kaysby