The Great Kaysby

Frost for Thought

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled…” – – Robert Frost, “The Road Not Taken”

“He will not go behind his father’s saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, ‘Good fences make good neighbors.” – – Robert Frost, “Mending Wall”

My day job – the one that supports the life I envision for me and my family – is that of a Junior English teacher. During the last trimester of the school year, we always cover 1900s American Literature. In preparing for that to begin, I’ve found myself with the words of Robert Frost stuck in my head. The quotes above are from two of his poems that I teach, and I usually find that they lead to good in class discussions. The discussion always becomes what is better, taking the road less traveled or doing things for the sake of tradition?

I’d love to say that anytime I come to a fork in the room that I take the road less traveled, but that would be a lie. The road less traveled often involves doing difficult tasks or trying new things with no guarantee of a desirable outcome. It is a road that can involve blood, sweat, and tears which is why it is often times easier to stay on the well trodden path. However, it can also be a road that has an arduous journey yet leads to the most abundant joy imaginable! When I think of the road less traveled like this, I immediately think of the pregnancy journey MrKisby and I went through and how perfect LikKsby is! I think of how much I love teaching, and how glad I am that I didn’t go into management like my first degree!

But there have been many times in life where I’ve taken the easy road; times in life where I’ve just followed tradition without questioning it. Sometimes it has definitely been easier to just fall into routines and follow the status quo. I think of times when you tell yourself things like “It’s okay that I’m overweight; it’s genetic” or “I can’t do this because of INSERT REASON.” There are definitely times when it is easier to just rebuild the wall than question why you’re doing it in the first place.

Reflecting over the two choices, I think it is good to have a personality that is a mix of both thought patterns. There are traditions that it is perfectly fine to not question because they are fun and harmless. It is perfectly okay to take the easy way out at times because seriously why make things harder if that causes stress? I think as long as you’re open to trying the road less taken and do so every once and again, then you’ve found the balance between.

And I think that’s a good way to live. That’s my Frost for thought. What do you think?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Following or Living?

I’m not perfect.

I make mistakes.

However, I truly believe Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart.”

That said, I will be the first to say that though I’ve been Catholic for most of my life (there was a hiatus in my 20’s), I don’t always remember what the preacher is saying at Mass. Thus, I am truly shocked that today – Monday – I am still pondering yesterday’s sermon on the Heart of the Nation Mass (don’t judge me for watching Mass on YouTube…at least I’m watching!). The priest was talking about the Pharisees and how they were determined to follow the law. He then went on to discuss how Jesus didn’t just want people to follow the law; Jesus wanted people to live the law.

Specifically he mentioned the law of “Thou shalt not kill.” You can follow this law by not murdering. Simple enough. Living the law of “Thou shalt not kill”? Not as simple. If you think about it, every time we have a negative self deprecating thought, we are killing our spirit. Likewise, every time we say something negative about someone, we are killing their self-esteem. It is so easy to make comments such as “She’s gaining weight!” or “He looks like he’s on drugs!” We (society in general) have a tendency to think that if no one hears our negative comments, then it won’t impact them.

WRONG!

Eventually, the person who is having negative comments made about them is going to find out the comments are being made, and there is a very good chance that it is going to make them feel terrible! Their self-esteem might be damaged; their spirit might be killed. If I’m following the law, I didn’t break “Thou shalt not kill.” But if I’m living it? I sure did break it!

The more I thought about this scenario, I began to realize that the idea of “following or living” isn’t just applicable to laws. The idea is applicable to everyday life. My day job – the one that puts food on the table and keeps the shelter over our heads – is teaching. Every school day, I see kids who are following the actions and words of their peers because they want to feel like they have a place. Instead of living their own lives, they get caught up with what is deemed “cool” or “acceptable”. Sometimes they even lose sight of who they are in the process.

I see this with adults too – including myself at times – who want to follow all of what they are told without question. I do this A LOT with what LilKsby’s pediatrician tells us to do to the point that it drives other people bananas! In my life, I’ve never felt like I’m purposely “following” instead of “living”, but as creatures of habit it can be easy to get caught up in just “following”. It’s not intentional. It’s just easy.

That said, a lot of my goals for 2020 are very tied to “living” and not “following”. This year, I want to be more creative. I want to get in better shape. I want to blog more. I want to read a lot of books with LilKsby. I want to spend more time with MrKsby. I want to have purple hair and get my nose pierced even if people think it is weird for someone in their 30’s to want. I want to become the person I am destined to be spiritually, emotionally, and physically. In short? I want “LIVING” and not “FOLLOWING”!

Will it be hard? Yup!

Will it have obstacles? Yup!

Will it be worth it? HELL YES!

By the way…it will also involve music because there is a little girl in me who dreamed of singing, and she’s ready to be free! Luckily, I can carry a tune!

I know this blog has been a little all over the place (let’s face it, that’s how my brain works), but I hope that it inspires you! I hope that in 2020 and every other year that you will choose “living” over “following” and be who you were put on this earth to be! I believe that if we all choose “living” over “following”, then great things can happen!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

https://giphy.com/gifs/buffy-the-vampire-slayer-summers-gift-xdfFRQ3dfr4YM

Goodbye Grumpy Grumps

“So no one told you life was going to be this way. Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, you’re love life’s DOA.” – “I’ll Be There For You”, The Rembrandts

Ever wake up in a grumpy mood? You might be grumpy for no apparent reason other than you want to be grumpy that day; you might be grumpy because you’ve let things pile up and they are stressing you out. For whatever reason you find yourself channeling Ross Geller from early seasons of Friends when he’d walk in and say, “Hi” with the most depressed tone of voice on the planet. (Seriously, that “Hi” alone should’ve gotten him an Emmy!) Which I suppose season one Ross is better than season five Ross when he goes all crazy over a sandwich made from Thanksgiving leftovers! Either way, some days you just find yourself in a mood where no one should mess with you!

The question then becomes, how do you shake that grump-o-saurus mood? If you’re looking for answers, then here are some of my go to things to shake a bad mood!

Daydream about vacations! I love to travel (remember why I started the blog in the first place)! The beach and the mountains are my two happiest geographical locations on the planet. So when I’m feeling grumpy, it is fun to pretend I’m planning a vacation for an upcoming break! The catch with this tactic is to not actually book a vacation because then you spend money you don’t have and get grumpy again when the bill comes!
Write! Many times a blog idea comes when I’m experiencing some sort of emotion that I want to sort out. Just putting things into words even if you throw them away, rip them up, or burn them is very therapeutic.
Brain dump! When I have a lot on my mind, sometimes I like to do a brain dump. This is especially helpful when I’m feeling overwhelmed because there are a lot of things to be completed. I will brain dump every task I can think of onto a piece of paper. Then I put all of the things into one of four categories: Urgent and Necessary, Important but Not Urgent, Delegate, or Do Whenever. I’m also known to brain dump and put things into categories like home, family, work, and self care. I find brain dumping very useful!
Turn the music up and dance like nobody is watching! Dance like Phoebe Buffay runs! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-IVhJLD0sQ
Allow yourself a break from everything you need to do for a short period and do something mindless like watch TV, play a game, take a hot shower, etc.
Exercise, meditate, or do some deep breathing.
Sing loudly like you’re Alanis bashing an ex-lover back in the day! Sidebar: Is that song really about Dave Coulier?
Talk to a trusted friend who will listen without judgment.
Read my blog! LOL

Okay, so the last one might not be my greatest suggestion, but it is there if you need it. Hopefully some of these methods can help you say “Goodbye Grumpy Grumps!” If you’ve got other suggestions, then I’d love to see them in the comments!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

So Long Jerry’s

“Don’t it always seem to go/That you don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone/They paved paradise, and put up a parking lot.”

— “Big Yellow Taxi”, Counting Crows

Today, the closure of a local icon was announced. Jerry’s J-Boy was a decades themed diner that at one time could be found scattered throughout our region of the country. For those who’ve never heard of Jerry’s, imagine a discount version of Denny’s. It was a greasy spoon with burgers and fries that went straight to your thighs, but more than that it was a social gathering place for family and friends.

I recall going to Jerry’s as a kid with my family starting sometime around 1994. I know this because I first watched Gone With the Wind in 5th grade, and I was obsessed with sitting next to the Gone With the Wind memorabilia and fish pond. By the time I was a senior in high school, I liked it enough that it was chosen as the place to celebrate my graduation with my family. As a young adult, Jerry’s would become the place that me and my mom would plot out Black Friday shopping plans. It also became a good place to go for a hearty breakfast after church. Additionally, it made for a good early morning breakfast with family after going to the polls on Election Day. I’m pretty sure it was the place of much debate the morning of Election Day 2016 when the hot topic was Hilary versus Trump. I’m very thankful for the family memories made at Jerry’s!

Jerry’s was also setting of a lot of my memories with friends as a good part of my 20s was spent there. It started as a place to hangout at all hours and talk while getting free refills. No matter how long we were there, they never seemed to mind the endless requests for more $2 soda. Then, Jerry’s turned into the post party place. For some reason the pancakes always tasted better at 2 am! This naturally led to Jerry’s becoming a post Phoenix Hill (also nostalgia filled and closed) place. There was nothing like dancing until last call, piling into a car, and watching the sun come up through the Jerry’s windows. There were even times when we all went for dinner at a normal dinner time – gasp! These times involved two memorable moments. One, it is the only time I’ve ever been told I look lumpy like blue cheese which to be fair I’m lumpy! Two, it is the only time I’ve ever seen someone sweat while eating buffalo chicken tenders! I’m so glad to have all these memories with friends!

It is sad to Jerry’s close. I’ll think of them when I eat buffalo chicken tenders with half cooked fries and cottage cheese! Jerry’s J-Boy was far from paradise, but I hope that they don’t pave it down and put in a parking lot.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

“If You Give a Mouse a Cookie”

Remember the book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie by Laura Numeroff and illustrated by Felecia Bond? It is a beloved childhood book about what all a mouse will want if said mouse is offered a cookie. In my Junior American Lit class, I often compare this book to “A Pair of Silk Stockings” by Kate Chopin. The characters, items, and settings might be different, but the general idea of how one action becomes a catalyst for another action followed by another action is the same. I’m sure fine literary critics would this statement abhorring, but it helps make 19th century literature relevant to 11th graders.

This morning at 4 am, which I’ve noticed is the time a lot of revelations currently come, I realized that a lot of how my brain works is like that of the mouse’s brain in the book. The catalyst this evening was a storm with very strong winds. Here’s how the brain started flowing from that catalyst:

Storming so loud I wake up
Look at Fitbit
Time to pump
Baby is stirring, nurse him a little
Go to the bathroom
Pump other boob
Play games to stay awake while pumping (I’ve fallen asleep pumping, and it’s not pleasant.)
Kick some Dr Mario butt!
Take milk downstairs to fridge
Decide to wash pump parts
Realize yesterday’s pump parts need to be cleaned
Wash them all and sterilize
Contemplate going out in the rain at 4 am to see if any outdoor items have blown away
Decide this is a bad plan because it’s 4 am, and I don’t want anyone calling the cops because it looks like I’m robbing my own house
While sterilizing is going on, put away clean dishes from dishwasher

Consider putting dish towels in washer, but don’t because of the storm
Think about going outside again, but realize I shouldn’t go out and get pneumonia over some lawn ornaments

Reload dishwasher
Take out sterilized pump parts and put on drying rack
Again, consider putting dish towels in washer, but don’t because of the storm
Realize I’m hungry
Think about a snack, but it’s weight check day
Think about weighing now so a snack can be had
Decide to skip snack and weigh later
Get clothes out of dryer
Once more…consider putting dish towels in washer, but don’t because of the storm
Start up the stairs while thinking about how this series of events is like If You Give a Mouse a Cookie
Decide to blog about my thought process

Did you follow all that? I know it’s a lot to process! Is that how anyone else’s brain works? Does anyone else ever feel like that poor little mouse? (I mean sometimes I just want a cookie too, but no dairy so…) Maybe part of being a mommy is having a million different thoughts at the same time! I guess at some point you have to learn to turn the brain off and go back to bed. You have to learn to just be satisfied with the cookie.

Until the next 4 am revelation!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

PS: FYI…still thinking about the lawn ornaments!

Laugh and Smile

You know what is awesome about babies? They will laugh at anything! Seriously…anything! LilKsby just laughed hysterically at a made up song about pickle juice. It went like this: “Pickle juice, pickle juice, everybody wants some pickle juice, pickle juice.”

We also have a song about cleaning up that he finds quite amusing! He definitely prefers to laugh at the made up songs. A round of Smelly Cat doesn’t get so much as a half smile, but he’ll laugh like crazy if you sing about “diapees” while changing his diaper.

Silly songs aren’t the only things that make LilKsby laugh. He laughs at funny faces, funny sounds, stories, his toys, and his kittens! Mr Kisby can really make him laugh! No matter what has him laughing, his laugh and smile are contagious. They make you laugh and smile too.

It is important to laugh and smile. They are simple little things that can have a major impact on life. They can make you feel beautiful, improve someone’s day, and burn calories! Laughs and smiles are one of the simplest most powerful things we can do!

Yet somewhere along the way, it seems people forget how to laugh and smile. Personally, I do them a lot. I’m smiling right now as I type and hold LilKsby, but I feel like I’m probably the exception to the rule. So I’d like to issue a challenge to my readers. Once a day at a minimum, try to laugh and smile. At the very least, smile at someone and say, “Good morning!” to brighten their day.

I believe that if we all could be more like babies, then the world would be so full of laughter and smiles that it would be a better place! If you need a starting point for smiling, then I’ll give you this:

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Resolution Revelation

It is New Year’s Eve, and there is about 2 and a half hours left in 2019 (to be honest, I started this blog on the 30th in the wee hours of the morning before pumping, but that’s mom life). There is about to be a new year and decade. I’m already seeing New Year’s resolutions on social media. There are a lot of “common” resolutions such as:

I’m going to lose weight.
I’m going to eat better.
I’m going to stop cursing.
I’m going to be on my phone/social media less.

90% of the time it seems like these resolutions inevitably fail (really I don’t know because stats and research tend to bore me). If I made New Year’s resolutions, then I’m sure that I’d be in the failure group. Why? For one, because a lot of New Year’s resolutions seem to be made with a band wagon mentality. Therefore, if my resolution doesn’t actually match my purpose and passion in life, then I’m not going to follow through with committing to the resolution. For two, if I just make a resolution without planning, then I’m going to forget it before January 2.

Thus, here is my Resolution Revelation! In order for a resolution to be successful it should actually be a goal. Additionally, it will help if it is a SMART goal. In this case, SMART doesn’t mean intelligent; SMART means Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time Bound. I feel like Achievable and Relevant are key components as it is easy to become discouraged when things seem impossible or outdated. For more specifics on SMART goals Google the term. There is a lot of information out there! I had to Google the term just to remember what all the letters stood for at one in the morning when I started writing the rough draft for this blog.

To test my theory, here is a typical resolution versus a SMART goal:

Resolution – I want to lose weight.

SMART Goal – I want to lose 20 pounds averaging 1 pound per week by Memorial Day as measured by Saturday weight checks.

Do you see the difference? The first is very vague, but the second provides a plan of action. You could even add mini-goals within the SMART Goal such as losing 5 pounds by Valentine’s Day.

I also feel like the SMART Goal helps provide direction. At this point in my life, I feel that having a sense of direction – a sense of purpose – is necessary. That said, one of my SMART Goals is the following: I will blog a minimum of three times per month during 2020 as blogging helps me sort out my thoughts and provides me with a creative outlet.

For me personally, this blog is out of my comfort zone. However, they say that we often teach what we need to learn ourselves. I feel that for 2020 to be a success I needed to critically think about goal setting. This blog came from that thinking. Subscribe to my blog to see if I make my SMART goal associated with blogging!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Lactation Lament – Never Give Up!!!

This morning when I was looking at my blog statistics, I discovered that “Lactation Lament” is my blog that has the most views. Today, I thought I would expand on it with “Never Give Up!!!”

Why today? Because today is December 30. It also marks 5 months of being formula free and only being on breastmilk (plus now some Stage 1 food)! This is huge, and I share that so others can see the importance of never giving up! If you’ve read my first blog on this subject, then you know how easy it would have been for me to quit. However, I’m stubborn and to quote one of my business mentors, Julie Weaver, “You don’t tell a redhead what she will or will not do.” We’re spunky that way!

Breastfeeding isn’t the only time LilKsby has taught me to never give up. When he wanted to sit up, but didn’t have the core control to do so, he did baby crunches until he could sit up. Now his favorite thing to do is sit up and play with his toys! When he wanted to not have to do tummy time, LilKsby rocked himself sideways again and again until eventually he could roll over! Currently, he’s applying this never give up mentality to learning to crawl. Everyday he gets a little closer!

Imagine if all of us could have the determination of babies. What if, no matter what naysayers might try and tell us, we never gave up on our goals? What could we accomplish in life if we would just keep going? I imagine that we could conquer the world with the right attitude!

As a new decade is about to begin(raise your hand if you’re ready to party like Gatsby), I want you and myself to be like LilKsby and never give up! Whatever your goal might be, I’m here to cheer you on as you cross the finish line! I hope that our successes can inspire you (and myself) on any future endeavors!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

‘Tis the Gift to be Giving

This blog was originally handwritten on 12/23/19, and it is being typed on 12/29. Christmas may have passed, but the message is still pertinent.

Lying here awake at 4 am, I find myself staring at my husband and son. There is gifts that need to be wrapped, shopping to be done, and crafts to be made, but looking at my sweet boy, I realize how much none of that matters. I don’t feel this way because he’s a baby and won’t remember; I feel this way because we’ve already established with him traditions that are more important than any present underneath the Christmas tree.

1) Angel Tree – since before we were married, Mr Kisby and I have adopted 1 or 2 kids from the Angel Tree. We are beyond blessed even at our hardest points in life, and it is important to share those blessings. This year we shopped as a family. It felt really nice to know our family was blessing others. This year Mr Kisby and I picked our angel, and soon I hope LilKsby will feel led to pick who we bless.

2) Fellowship – Christmas is full of parties like Sushimas. At these events we see some people like once a year, yet it will seem like we haven’t been apart. I hope LilKsby will one day have these kinds of friendships.

3) Baking – growing up, my Uncle David would always make candy during the holidays. He would give it to friends, family, and people in the community as a thank you for their service. I never learned to make candy, but I can bake like a champ. Every year I make a pecan pie for my dad, something chocolate for the rest of the family, and something for our doctors and vet. I think extra thank yous are important this time of year as everyone enjoys feeling appreciated.

4) Christmas Cards – I know a lot of mail is uncommon these days which might be why receiving cards is so nice. Sending them is even better to me as it is a way of sending a little piece of love to those you care about in the world.

Now it is 4:30 am, and my sweet boy is semi awake and nursing happily. I smile to myself thinking of another baby boy being nursed by his mother in a stable. That baby saved the world; I hope mine will show the world that it “tis the gift to be giving”.

And now we nap…

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Perfect Imperfection

“All your perfect imperfections…”

All of Me, John Legend

As I was putting up Christmas lights on our porch this evening, that lyric kept running through my head. Normally, Mr Kisby puts up the outdoor lights, and he makes them perfect. This year if I wanted them up, then I had to do it. So tonight – wearing a fleece onesie because that was sufficiently warm – I put the lights up on the front porch. Me who cannot draw a straight line tackles the Christmas lights! Me who has the attention span of a goldfish! It was no easy task, and at one point I left a strand of lights hanging while I went in search of candy cane yard stakes. However, though it may look haphazard, I got the lights up.

In a lot of ways this is a perfect imperfect holiday season. It’s perfect in that I’m going to get to spend a lot of time with my wonderful family (LilKsby is 7 months old today!), and I’ve finally got enough decor up to satisfy me. Although should someone volunteer to put up my nativity outside, I wouldn’t tell them no. It’s also perfect in that we are blessed with our beautiful baby boy.

Then there’s the imperfect. There’s the lay-off. There’s the fact that there are five days until Christmas, and all I have for Mr Kisby is a hug. Presents we do have are unwrapped while some are still in transit. I haven’t done any baking for others, and Christmas cards are still in the box. I feel like the list goes on and on. All of it combined is making me a little crazy because I want LilKsby’s first Christmas to be perfect!

Now here are some fundamental truths:

I know LilKsby won’t remember this Christmas or how perfect it was.
I know that all the material aspects are not the point of Christmas.
I know that I have to learn to let go of certain things as important now that there is a baby in the picture.

Do you know why I think I have a hard time with these truths? Change is scary. For me, not having Christmas perfectly together is not a change I was prepared to face. I also think this might be why I’ve had a difficult time getting in the Christmas spirit this year.

Now, as I sit holding my sleeping baby and looking at the tree, I hope that I can let go of the idea of all the things that have to be done for Christmas to be “perfect”. I need to relax, accept the imperfection, be glad for what I do have, and enjoy the holiday season.

It’s time to accept perfect imperfection and be blessed!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Comparison Game

Have you ever heard that no two snowflakes are alike? Have you ever heard that no two people are alike? From what I can find via Google, the first one is true. From my life experiences, the second one is true. So given this information, why is it so easy to get caught up in the “Comparison Game”?

I first started thinking about this in context of LilKsby. I fully understand that certain comments are made innocently, but they got me wondering why is there such a desire to compare him to other babies? From birth it seems like he’s either been compared to me, Mr Kisby, other babies we know, or a fancy pants chart of some sort. What’s wrong with LilKsby just being himself? I love that he’s a unique little guy!

The constant comparisons were really starting to annoy me until tonight while power pumping when I had a light bulb moment. I think the comparisons bother me because I’m constantly comparing myself to those I know or read about on the Internet. Some of my “comparison game” moments include:

Breastmilk Production – LilKsby has been formula free since July 30, 2019, but I still make less than most women
Our journey to getting LilKsby
Housekeeping
Decorating for Christmas
Balancing a full time job and being a good mom
Healthy Habits
Weight Loss
Activity level in MK
Amount of sleep
How good of a teacher I am

I’m sure I could keep going, but you get the picture.

As I think of these things, I can’t help but wonder if people ever compare themselves to me. Honestly, I hope they don’t. The truth of the matter is that I’m an awesome person because of everything that is uniquely me. I’m sure not many people can make these claim to fames:

I accidentally entered a National Board Game tournament in 2014 and came in 3rd place!
I’ve lived in two places with garages, and at both of them I backed out of the them and hit the side of the garage. Same car!
I won $11 on scratch offs as a kid and bought a battery operated race car.
I’ve been the Volunteer of the Year with a local Junior Women’s Club twice.
I can’t draw a straight line, but I’m really good at sewing. I also enjoy painting, scrapbooking, and singing. Expressing myself creatively is very important!
I’m right handed on paper, but my left hand is always stronger on strength tests.
I can’t remember yesterday half the time, but I can tell you where I was when First Lady Pat Nixon died: the long defunct Radcliff water slide.
I can name all 50 states alphabetically as long as I can sing that song from elementary school.
I really don’t remember high school graduation other than it being cold and rainy, but I can tell you my kindergarten graduation involved a blow up stegosaurus and singing a song about peanut butter and jelly.
On field day in sixth grade, I came in second place in the free throw competition. First and third place were boys.
I played my dream role in high school when I got to be Emily Webb in Our Town which became one of my favorite plays in elementary school. Every show I’ve been a part of since then has just been icing on the cake!

So when I think about it, the “comparison game” is ridiculous. I may not be like every other wife, mother, daughter, teacher, or business owner, but that is what makes me wonderful! My unique talents and claims to fame make me the AMAZING person that I am. Sometimes I just need a little reminder of just how amazing I am. Don’t we all?

I hope and pray that you are being true to yourself and thriving with your own uniqueness. Be the best you that you can be!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Snow, Snow, Snow!

Do you remember when you were a kid, and you would find yourself hyped anytime snow was in the forecast? You’d stay up late and peek out your window a million time hoping to see the twinkle of snowflakes in the streetlight? Then when you finally fell asleep, you hoped that you’d be woken up the two most magical words: Snow Day!

As a teacher, I still feel this excitement each time snow is in the forecast! In fact, I can’t count how many times I said “We might have a Snow Day tomorrow” at school yesterday! Why do I get so excited about Snow Days? Because they are the only days where there is nothing that has to be accomplished since you thought you were going to work!

For example…

Since we didn’t have to get up and get ready, me, LikKsby, and the four kitties napped until 10 am. There was no rush to go anywhere, so that meant no rush to get dressed. Spoiler alert! I never put on makeup today! After my shower, I brushed my teeth, applied my day cream, put on a clean pair of pajamas, and called it a day.

The rest of the day was spent doing only things that brought me joy. My dad came over with lunch so we could eat, and he could play with LikKsby. I baked cookies, did laundry, finished season three of The Good Place, cleaned the kitchen, worked on my holiday sales for my Mary Kay, and cooked dinner! This evening I fixed the chair portion of LilKsby’s bouncer saucer and did dishes while Mr Kisby played with our baby boy.

More importantly than anything that got done today was the feeling of being a good mommy throughout the day. We had tummy time, worked on name recognition, worked on sitting up unassisted, and played with various toys. We laughed with and “talked” to one another a lot too. There’s nothing more fulfilling than spending a day that you didn’t think you would with your child!

And that’s why I hope there will be a lot of Snow Days! I know they have to be made up, but in the moment there is nothing better.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Dinghy Day

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

-F Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Today, I feel like a boat. I’m like one of those dinghy boats in a hurricane getting flung around.

The day started well enough for a day when there is no school. However, it’s Election Day, and there is some underlying dread about how the results are going to turn out. Perhaps that is the true catalyst for the way the day has played out.

It started with breakfast. As I reached for my hash browns, I knocked my drink onto the floor getting liquid all over the floor and bottom of my recliner. Then we (me and LilKsby) took an unexpected two hour nap which was fine, but led to not accomplishing anything. Our nap was followed by what I can only describe as a pumping rodeo in which I was trying to pump fresh milk for tomorrow while I’m at work as he ate previous pumped milk from a bottle. LilKsby was determined to hold his bottle and pull the pump tubing out at the same time. I was determined to hold him in my right arm and pump with my left hand. Given how naturally stubborn we both are, the situation was rather comical.

The afternoon seemed like it was going to improve, but it turned out our dinghy had just found a lull in the hurricane. Post lunch involved so much crankiness that running errands did not happen. We got home from lunch and a kitten had left stool all over the floor in front of the litter box, into the hallway, and on two of my shoes (two from different pairs I might add). I clean it up, go to feed baby, turn the TV on, and it starts acting like it is going to explode. I turn the TV off.

Then LilKsby has tummy time. Happily, he’s now rolling from tummy to back like a champ, and he’s starting to act like he wants to crawl. Unhappily, he HATES tummy time. He gets so worked up that the next 30-45 minutes are like watching a spit up volcano erupt. During the eruption there is also a diaper earthquake which means the new outfit he wore today now needs some special attention that only a washing machine can give.

I topped the evening off by messing up cooking a frozen pizza. Yes, I said messing up cooking a frozen pizza. I didn’t realize it, but when I cooked the pizza, I cooked it on the cardboard that the pizza came on. Fun fact, this makes the cardboard cook right into the pizza.

By 8 o’clock this boat was ready to return to the shore for the night (aka I was ready for bed). Tomorrow, I’ll set sail on another day’s journey with the hope of being like a yacht on calm waters.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Livin’ La Vida Country Song

I remember hearing a joke once that went like this:

“What do you get if you sing a country song backwards?”

“You get your dog back; you get your truck back; you get your wife back; you get your house back.”

I don’t know who made it up, but I remember thinking the joke was somewhat true as songs like “All My Exes Live In Texas” and “Big D and Don’t Mean Dallas” seem to exemplify the theme. They are way more prominent than the fun upbeat numbers like “The Cigar Song”, “Third Rock From the Sun”, and “5 O’Clock Somewhere”! By the way I do believe that it is always 5 in Margaritaville whether that be located at the restaurant of the same name, my favorite Mexican restaurant, or my kitchen!

Well, it turns out the joke is on me lately, or as I like to look at life, the proof that God does indeed have a sense of humor is on me lately. In the past few weeks, the life of The Great Kaysby, Mr Kisby, and LilKsby (though he doesn’t know it, and hopefully he never will) has become rather like a country song, and not a good pop crossover one like Taylor Swift sings. What do I mean?

Evidence #1 – Mr Kisby is beginning a new chapter in his life aka being laid off. Hooray for jobs being so well automated that people are no longer needed!

Evidence #2 – The air conditioning/heat downstairs is broken for the second time since May. Lucky us as two of us in the house are championship sweaters! Thankfully, Dove deodorant works like a champ!!!

Evidence #3 – Mr Kisby’s car has decided starting is overrated and is boycotting it until further notice.

Evidence #4 – The kittens in the house all need their annual shots, and every good country song involves an animal!

Evidence #5 – There really is no five, but I just like odd numbers better than even. Perhaps because I’m an odd duck!

So yeah, currently we’re livin’ la vida country song, but oddly enough I’m not freaking out which – by the way – totally seems to weird people out. In fact, all of it has been met with an overwhelming since of calm that I can’t explain. Maybe it is because I have faith and a gut feeling that everything is going to be just fine. Actually, it’ll be better than fine! I don’t know how. Maybe we will win the lottery; maybe Ellen Degeneres will read this and invite us on her show. Maybe Taylor Swift will adopt us; maybe our family dream is right around the corner.

Maybe…

I could really go on and on, but I don’t want to because I don’t want to garner sympathy. I believe that “our country song” is the start of something greater than what we ever imagined happening. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and I believe that every cloud has a silver lining! Even as we face uncertainty, I hope I can leave those around me inspired. I’ve got a sleeping LilKsby on my chest, a snoozing Mr Kisby at my side, four fuzzy kitties, a loving family, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food for my tummy. Country song life or not, I am blessed!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Leaving Laramie

The past couple months I’ve had the privilege of working on a production of The Laramie Project. I had the job of costumer which involved making “like big ass wings” for a band of angels, and I performed the part of Trish Steger. Trish is a real person – as are all the other characters in the play – who lived in Laramie, Wyoming when Matthew Shepard was murdered.

“Who is Matthew Shepard?”

That’s a question I was asked yesterday, and at first I didn’t know how to respond. I was flabbergasted that someone didn’t know who Matthew was. I thought knowing about Matthew was as common as knowing about Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Jr., or Mother Teresa. I explained in brief that Matthew was a young man killed for his sexual orientation.

However, Matthew was so much more than that! He was a college student studying political science, friend, son, and brother who was passionate about equality. In his brief time on earth he saw more of the world than some of us will ever see as he lived in Saudi Arabia and went to high school in Switzerland. Tragically, he was savagely murdered in Laramie, Wyoming for being gay. At the time of his death he was 21 years old, and now it has been 21 years since his death. I can’t believe that time has passed so quickly that Matthew has now been gone for as long as he was alive. Matthew’s death has had a lasting impact not only through The Laramie Project, but also with The Matthew Shepard Foundation (https://www.matthewshepard.org/) and legislation such as the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr Hate Crimes Prevention Act.

For me personally, The Laramie Project has been important because I believe that it is essential to remember events and notable persons of the past. When we – society as a whole – forget the past, then we cannot learn from it and create a better tomorrow. This is the same reason that I liked being a part of The Crucible back in the spring and enjoy teaching it each year! By remembering history through the arts, we can experience the raw emotion of the past and use said emotion for improving our own minds and the minds of those around us. We can teach love, tolerance, and fairness! We can inspire hope and change! Through the arts we can also continue the legacy of ordinary people who’ve purposefully or unintentionally played a part in extraordinary things!

So as I leave Laramie behind, I can say that being a part of this show – even though I only had 6 sets of lines and dressed folks – has been an impacting, significant experience that I have learned from and will never forget. To all those who were part of the cast and crew, you did a terrific job of breathing life into Laramie! To all those who saw the show, I hope you felt moved to make a difference to someone in your life! To those who didn’t see it, take some time to learn about Matthew Shepard (another great resource is http://eatromaine.com/1/index-laramie.html).

Most of all, never forget…

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby