"My soul is full of longing for the secret of the sea, and the heart of the great ocean sends a thrilling pulse through me." – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Author: The Great Kaysby
I’m a wife, mother, daughter, cat lover, believer in Him and His word, teacher, beauty consultant, actress, costumer, and avid volunteer. 👩🏻🦰 My biggest gift in life is how I can still experience the world with childlike wonder as an adult. 🤩 I love winning, prizes, shiny objects, travel, food, and games! I use emojis way too much but they make me happy! 😊
I’m going to tell you a little secret. You know that super positive person that’s in your circle? The one who always seems to try and be positive even to the point of being annoying? Sometimes even that person has a bad day! And guess what? It’s okay to have a bad day!
For me today was one of those days. For the majority of the day from like 6:40 am to 8:30 pm it seemed like nothing was going right. Instead of just taking a deep breath and stepping away from the frustrations, I just let them keep piling up. There was a point when I thought I should just go to bed and start again tomorrow.
But I didn’t go to bed.
Instead of giving up on the day, I found little things to bring it up to okay. First, I found what we’d been looking for five hours. Then, I changed the cat litter and took out the trash. This led to remembering to water my plants, so I watered them at 10:30 pm! To my surprise, they are bouncing back wonderfully, and it made me happy to see their beauty! After that I managed to start laundry, run the dishwasher, and knock a couple of other things off my to do list. All of this took about two hours. Now I’m lying in bed, eating tiramisu, watching Step By Step, and reflecting.
As I reflect, I’m amazed at how such a bad day could become okay. Was it great? No. I’m not even sure I’d classify it as good. However, tomorrow is another chance to have a great day. Tomorrow is another chance to get done the things that couldn’t be completed today. So as I fall asleep, tomorrow will be my focus!
Six years ago, I had the idea to make a list of 33 Things that I wanted to accomplish while 33. It was exciting! I then did the same things for 34 and 35. Then along came 36 which included having a baby and the start of a pandemic. The past two years were such a blur of trying to stay healthy and survive Covid that I never allowed myself to make fun goals. I was so obsessed with me and my family members not dying of Covid (because as a semi-hypochondriac you have to know that in my head getting Covid was a death sentence) that I didn’t allow myself to really dream. Well, even though Covid is still a possibility, I’m tired of it running my life. So guess what??? The list is back!!
39 Things While 39
Ride a roller coaster
Ride a train
See the ocean
Take a vacation
Host a cookout
Go camping
Go kayaking
Go to Natural Bridge
Play pool
Go to a cave
Go to Boo At the Zoo
Hike Tioga Falls
Hike Bridges to the Past
See Dr Strange 2
See Thor Love and Thunder
Read 12 Books
Watch Young Sheldon 3 and 4
Watch Step By Step
Go to GenCon Online
Climb the Fire Tower at Bernheim
Sing Karaoke
Go to a Fireworks Show
Go to an art museum
Go to the Friends Experience
Go to the VanGogh Experience
Take a class on cake decorating
Go to an outlet mall
Complete 5 paintings
Go to Jeff Ruby’s
See the BSB DNA Tour
Complete NANOWRIMO
Go to a winery
Go to the horse races
Walk 100 miles (cumulative)
Walk the Big Four Bridge
Go to a casino
Go to Patti’s Settlement
Get a Casey’s Taco Pizza
Go to the State Fair
As you can see, I’ve got a big year ahead of me! What things will you do?
Wow! Today marks another trip around the sun, and I am humbled by how #blessed I am! For the last three days, I’ve celebrated turning 39 with Mr Kisby, LilKsby, and other family members. As a bonus, I’ve received several messages wishing me a happy birthday. All of these have been remarkable reminders of how lucky I am to know so many wonderful people who know how to make a gal feel loved!
After two years of pandemic birthdays, feeling loved was the best treat! If the past two years have taught us anything, they’ve taught us how when we’re stressed by unprecedented pandemics, work, not enough time, not enough money, etc, we can forget to show others how much we love them. It’s not an intentional neglect, but more of an accident due to circumstances. I’m guilty, and I’m sure others are guilty too. Luckily, we can always change our ways and find our way back to showing others how much we love them!
As I enter my final year of my 30s, I must say that I’m super excited! This decade has been the best yet for me, and I’m sure that the next decade will be even better! Bonus, I feel like there are a lot of exciting things just on the horizon! For now, I’m going to concentrate on showing others the love that has been shown me!
Today was Dress Your Dream Job Day for mental health spirit week at my school. To those that know me this may come as a shock, but being a teacher is not my dream job. Teaching is a job that I enjoy most of the time (let’s be real we all have our negative days), but if I could be absolutely anything in the world it would not be my choice. As a child I would’ve have told you that I wanted to be a country music star like Reba; as a teenager I would’ve told you that I wanted to be a lawyer with a house just like Cher’s in Clueless. Those were all jobs that sounded great because I equated success with a lot of money. Nowadays, I equate success with living comfortably (note, I didn’t say rich) and doing a job you love. So what would be my dream job? I have a few!
1. Travel Critic/Travel Planner – I have always loved traveling! For as long as I can remember, I have loved exploring new places. In fact, part of the reason I started this blog was to write about food and travel. You can go back and checkout those early posts for fun! I still think it would be the best job if someone would pay me to travel!
2. Pro-Gamer – I was 5 when the first Nintendo came out, and I have loved video games ever since! I went through a major WoW phase, and I love The Sims (seriously I’m writing because my game is updating)! I also love board games, card games, and tabletop RPGs. If I could get paid to game, that would be a dream come true! I think it would be amazing to just stream myself playing games and have people watch. We started doing this during the pandemic on our Twitch Channel HouseofKs. TheGreatKaysby is also on Twitch!
3. Awareness Advocate – I would love to get paid to give a voice to those without a voice. I want to stand up for what is morally right for those who cannot speak for themselves. This would bring lots of joy to my heart!
4. Samantha Stephens – I want to be Elizabeth Montgomery on Bewitched. If I could twitch my nose and do all of my chores, my house would be immaculate! Also, I love that she dressed up for dinner every night. That alone would give me an excuse to wear my Breakfast at Tiffany’s inspired pearls every day! Bonus? If I’m Samantha Stephens, I can travel by popping in and out of places. Oh, you want a croissant? Let me pop over to Paris and bring one back!
There are also other jobs that I think would be fun to do just once so you can say you’ve done them. For me these include bar tender, yoga instructor, karaoke host, tour guide on a historical tour, and seamstress (I kind of do this voluntarily). All of these would be fun once, but I think they would get old if done day in and day out.
When I was a little kid, I remember flying a kite with my dad in our field. As we played, the kite string broke, and the kite flew away. I was heartbroken! I threw such a fit that my dad pacified me by taking me on a car ride to find the kite. We never found it, and I was devastated. From that moment, I was CONVINCED that I hated flying kites.
Fast forward 30 (or more) years…
Mr Kisby gets a box from Amazon, and says he has a family surprise. Guess what it was? A kite! Immediately I had flashbacks and thought, “ugh, I hate kites.” However, as parents often do, I put on a happy face so that LilKsby would love the kite. A few days later we went to the park, and we flew the kite. To my surprise, I LOVED flying the kite! Watching it soar in the wind, while I laughed squeals of delight and ran around with LilKsby, was a great time!
That joy got me to thinking, did I really hate kites this whole time? No. What I hated was the memory of losing something. The hate of losing has become a life long trend. As I thought about it, I realized that I have allowed a hate of loss to be the reason I fear doing something. Then I remembered that if we let fear run our lives, we will miss out on a lot of great opportunities. Having faith over fear is a hard lesson to practice, and I think that we have to constantly remind ourselves to use it. As a parent, I frequently tell myself to not show fear of certain things because I don’t want my child to pick up on these fears and miss out. That’s a huge catalyst for me, and why I keep striving to live more fearlessly.
I know that’s a huge lesson to get from a kite, but don’t we find the greatest lessons when we aren’t even looking for them?
A few days ago, I did something that took me outside of my comfort zone. For the first time in over two years (aka pre-Covid), I attended a LARGE event. I still wore a mask, and I admittedly was still anxious, but there are some once in a life time opportunities that are worth getting out of your comfort zone to do. For me, that opportunity was the chance to meet William Daniels or as many in my generation know him: Mr. Feeny.
I had seen the advertisements for Mr. Daniels’ appearance at the Lexington Comic and Toy Convention several months ago. Admittedly, I was excited about his appearance from the start. However, numbers were surging with the discovery of Omicron, and there were a lot of factors that seemed very uncertain. Since that time, most everywhere has relaxed Covid guidelines with even the CDC making new recommendations about masks, social distancing, gatherings, etc. Because of this (yes, I’m one of those people who trusts real professionals and not graduates of Google University) I was already becoming more comfortable with starting to do more “normal” activities. Then last Saturday, I saw someone posting about the convention, and I remembered Mr. Daniels’ appearance. Immediately, I knew that I wanted to go, and I went.
As a kid growing up, I watched Boy Meets World and viewed Mr. Feeny through eyes similar to those of Cory, Shawn, and Topanga. I thought he was kind of uptight, but that he had good lessons to teach. As a bonus, he was always there to help them even when they did things that he didn’t think were good choices. No matter what happened, you always knew Mr. Feeny cared about his students. I always liked that kind of teacher. Fast forward, now I am a teacher, and there have been two fictional teachers that I have always sought to be like: Professor John Keating (Dead Poets Society) and Mr. George Feeny.
Both of these characters were EXCEPTIONAL educators. They knew their subject matter more than many of their contemporaries (yes, I know all of the knowledge was in the script). More importantly, they cared about their students. Keating and Feeny taught their students life lessons. They found ways to teach lessons that their students needed to know beyond the classroom in a variety of aspects of life. They were friendly while also establishing clear boundaries. These are the teachers (along with real life teachers like LouAnne Johnson and Jaime Escalante) that many of us have inspired to be like ever since we decided to go into education.
Knowing all of that, I wanted to meet William Daniels. On one level, I wanted to meet him just because I think it is cool to meet celebrities. Yes, I’ve been known to totally FAN GIRL! Along with that, I also wanted to tell him thank you. As we completed our photo op, that’s exactly what I did. I told him, “Thank you for the character of Mr. Feeny. I’m a teacher, and a lot of us look up to him.” Just getting to do that, and seeing him smile at my words, made the whole outing worth it even in these (hopefully) final stages of the pandemic.
I wanted to write all this on Sunday, but I waited until today for a reason. Today is William Daniels’ 95th birthday. So I would love you for to join me in wishing him a happy birthday! From all of those whom you’ve impacted, “Happy Birthday, Mr. Feeny!”
I haven’t practiced yoga in a class since the start of the New Year (there was a great post about it that is worth revisiting); however, a couple of times in the past week, I have done some guided meditation mixed with yoga at home. The mediations have focused on filling in blanks with positive affirmation. For example, during the first mediation I laid in shavasana and inhaled with the thought “I am X”. Then I exhaled with “This is my love song.” For approximately three minutes, I just breathed and told myself positive things about myself. The silent affirmation and mindful breathing were game changing!
Immediately, I felt as though I had more energy! I completed this practice after getting my toddler to sleep, and I felt like it reenergized me and helped me accomplish a lot before bed. Additionally, I felt more grounded and open to receiving positivity into my day. Sometimes we close out the positive unknowingly, and it is important to open ourselves so that we don’t miss golden opportunities. Finally, this practice made me feel more balanced in mind, body, and soul. I connected my physical practice with my chosen spiritual practice, and I could feel them co-existing inside. It’s one thing to present coexistence on the outside, but believing it on the inside is what takes you to the next level. All of this was completed in silence, and I think that silence was the key to the success.
Why silence? When you’re silent, you’re more in tune to yourself and what’s happening around you. Don’t believe me? Ask a person who is successful in a field that interests you. They will most likely tell you that silent reflection helps them to succeed! If you’ve practiced silent reflection, I’d love to hear your successes! If you haven’t tried it, I invite you to do so!
Today in one of my classes, we had the students complete a quick write over the hopes and dreams of the lower class versus those of affluence. We gave them two minutes to write, and then we discussed it as a group. I’ve been thinking about this topic ever since this morning, and I feel the need to elaborate on it. The italicized portion is my initial quick write.
The hopes and dreams of the lower class and the affluent may appear the same on a surface level. Everyone wants a roof over their head, plenty of food on the table, enough money to cover their bills, and a better life than the previous generation. However, when digging deeper, the hopes and dreams are very different. For the lower class hopes and dreams may be as simple as a first family member attending and graduating college or joining the military for steady work. On the contrast the more affluent may dream of trips that cost a lower class person’s yearly salary or having more material items.
The more I thought about this topic today; the more I thought about the influence that people of affluence have on the lower classes. I immediately thought of negative or falsified influence. For example, you see the pictures in some magazines and on some websites that taut how celebs are just like us “regular” people. These pictures will be of things like celebrities going to the grocery, working out, or shopping for clothes. On the surface it seems great that “regular” people have something in common with millionaires, but is this accurate? I consider myself a pretty “regular” person, but what a celebrity looks like grocery shopping is totally different than what I look like. First of all, I’m typically shopping for the store brand (aka team Great Value) whereas they are shopping fancy pants brands that I have to Google to know what they are. Likewise, when I work out, it is either at home or outdoors in my spare time. The just like me celebs on the other hand are working out two hours a day with a personal trainer for multiple days a week at their five star gym. Aside from the fact that we’re exercising, we really don’t have anything else in common here. The same could be said for shopping for clothes. I’m happy to shop at Ross and find a bargain while the “just like me” celeb is shopping brands that cost more than my mortgage. Thankfully, I’m happy with my “regular” status, but I feel like some people are negatively influenced by this affluence. Some people tend to rate their personal worth by how they compare with someone of affluence.
Along the same lines, I think it is important to establish that hopes and dreams don’t all involve material things often touted by those of affluence. As an example, I don’t need a new Bentley every year for my birthday. I’m happy to get a new (or even new to me) Kia every ten years. More important to me are dreams like financing LilKsby’s education, taking fun (not necessarily lavish trips) with him and Mr Kisby, and not having to stress about paying bills on time. I don’t need a private jet or an entourage to make myself feel fulfilled in life. Are there big things I’d like to do? Sure. But my life isn’t tragic without them.
All this said, I realize that there are people of affluence that do positive things with their money like donate to charity, finance missions, etc. I’m very thankful for these actions! In fact, I would love to see more about this kind of affluence than so and so’s latest trip to their private island. What do you think about the influence of affluence?
Spring has sprung! Is anyone else excited by the grass turning green, flowers starting to bloom, and warmer weather being on the horizon? For those of us who enjoy the great outdoors, Spring is like an old friend that we haven’t seen in ages. We welcome it with open arms and a smile on our face! In the excitement of our reunion, we start to make plans that will carry over into Summer and Fall!
My plan making started as soon as the weather began to improve. Some of the plans are superficial, and some of the plans are adventurous. Nonetheless, all the plans are fun! Since Spring and sunshine have returned, my plans in development have included:
Walks Outside
Wearing Sandals
Planning My Garden
Painting My Toenails
Kayaking
Eating Better
Going to Farmer’s Markets
Sitting on the Porch
Driving with the Windows Down and Blaring Music
Playing Outside
Opening the Windows at Home
Exercising More
Zoo Trips
Travel (since Covid seems to be slowing)
Visiting Parks
My Favorite Outfit #1 – Shorts and Hoodies
My Favorite Outfit #2 – Shorts and Shirts
Amusement Parks
Water Parks
5Ks (love promoting charities and wellness)
There are so many great things to do when Spring starts! Plus, l love having things to look forward to! What plans do you have now that Spring is here?
I’ve been in direct sales for a little over 15 years, and I frequently get asked two questions: 1) Where is your pink car? 2) Do you still do that makeup thing?
I always answer the first one with a smile, and a response of we haven’t earned a car yet. To the second one, I always say, “Yep!” with a big grin. People always seem amazed that I’ve stuck with it for so long, and they tend to tell me a story of “well most people I know only do it for x.” I usually smile and tell them I’m not most people. Which is also very true. A lot of people would probably quit if they hadn’t felt like they had moved up the career path enough or shown enough profits. You know what keeps me going? Simple…after 15 years, I still get butterflies of excitement about my business!
Now let me clarify. That doesn’t mean that there haven’t been moments of doubt; that doesn’t mean that there haven’t been moments of thinking I’m never going to be a success because I compare myself to others (which is a whole different topic for another day). It also doesn’t mean that there aren’t parts of the business that I dread. For real, even after 15 years making phone calls can still be daunting to me and seem like a life or death task. I’m also still not good at keeping up with the clerical parts even though I have a business management degree. Although really that degree taught me what to do to be a success in management; it didn’t teach me to have an organized personality! Anyone who knows me knows that organized chaos is my preferred organizational strategy. LOL
Stronger than any of those negatives have been the positives of the last 15 years. One, I’ve traveled to places I never thought I would. For that matter, I flew on an airplane which is another thing I never thought I’d do. (Irrational fear is also a topic for another day.) Two, I have made friends all over the country because of my business. It’s so cool to know so many supportive people in a variety of places! Along with this, I have had the opportunity to get “paid to play” with products that I absolutely love! All of these things – the travel opportunities, the friendships that are like family, and products – still get me excited!
I’m even excited right now! As I type there are butterflies in my stomach because our virtual conference is starting in 13 minutes! Even though I’ve been to a ton of our educational events, I still get butterflies because I’m so excited for them! Do you get that excited about events for your job? Does your job still give you butterflies even after many years in business? If the answer is no, maybe it’s time to rediscover what gives you butterflies!
Once again it is the beginning of March, and I am wrapping up another show as the costumer for my school’s Drama Club. This time the show was School House Rock Live! I remember some of the School House Rock songs from when I was a kid, but there were ones that I heard for the first time during tech week. In both cases the songs have reminded me that school is never out for the teacher!
Premise of the Show – Tom is really nervous about becoming a teacher; he is afraid of not being a successful teacher. I think all first time teachers can relate to this. Even after 11 years, on the first day of a new school year, I always think “Do I still know how to do this?” I even felt the same way when I recently started doing online tutoring. I spent a lot of time teaching online with NTI and having seven Online Learning Academy classes, but I was still nervous about being able to be a good tutor online. Thankfully, so far so good!
“The Preamble” – Apparently a lot of people had to learn and memorize The Preamble in elementary school. I never had to do this, and I will admit that all I know of The Preamble is “We the people”. Given the importance of The Preamble and The Constitution, I really should pay more attention to it. I suppose that it’s just something I take for granted as being important while not feeling the need to know the details. It’s kind of like knowing that you get money on pay day and never looking at your pay stub because your money is direct deposited.
“Ready or Not, Here I Come” – I had no idea about the counting by fives on your fingers coordinating with the multiplier. I just memorized my times tables as a kid without tricks. It makes me happy to know that I now know a way to teach fives multiplication to those who need a manipulative to help learn math.
“Interplanet Janet” – Besides being a fun song, this one made me think of “Planet Schmanet Janet” from another musical. This got me to thinking that there are not a lot of women’s names that rhyme with planet. I also love that the song is old enough to claim Pluto is a planet! I still think little old Pluto deserves to be a planet!!! Are you team Planet Pluto?
Along with my takeaways, it was great seeing my favorite numbers from childhood – “Conjunction Junction” and “I’m Just a Bill” – brought to life! Did you ever watch School House Rock? What did you learn from it?
Once again it is the beginning of March, and I am wrapping up another show as the costumer for my school’s Drama Club. This time the show was School House Rock Live! I remember some of the School House Rock songs from when I was a kid, but there were ones that I heard for the first time during tech week. In both cases the songs have reminded me that school is never out for the teacher!
Premise of the Show – Tom is really nervous about becoming a teacher; he is afraid of not being a successful teacher. I think all first time teachers can relate to this. Even after 11 years, on the first day of a new school year, I always think “Do I still know how to do this?” I even felt the same way when I recently started doing online tutoring. I spent a lot of time teaching online with NTI and having seven Online Learning Academy classes, but I was still nervous about being able to be a good tutor online. Thankfully, so far so good!
“The Preamble” – Apparently a lot of people had to learn and memorize The Preamble in elementary school. I never had to do this, and I will admit that all I know of The Preamble is “We the people”. Given the importance of The Preamble and The Constitution, I really should pay more attention to it. I suppose that it’s just something I take for granted as being important while not feeling the need to know the details. It’s kind of like knowing that you get money on pay day and never looking at your pay stub because your money is direct deposited.
“Ready or Not, Here I Come” – I had no idea about the counting by fives on your fingers coordinating with the multiplier. I just memorized my times tables as a kid without tricks. It makes me happy to know that I now know a way to teach fives multiplication to those who need a manipulative to help learn math.
“Interplanet Janet” – Besides being a fun song, this one made me think of “Planet Schmanet Janet” from another musical. This got me to thinking that there are not a lot of women’s names that rhyme with planet. I also love that the song is old enough to claim Pluto is a planet! I still think little old Pluto deserves to be a planet!!! Are you team Planet Pluto?
Along with my takeaways, it was great seeing my favorite numbers from childhood – “Conjunction Junction” and “I’m Just a Bill” – brought to life! Did you ever watch School House Rock? What did you learn from it?
What do YOU enjoy? When someone asks what you enjoy, it can be easy to just give rote responses like “time with family”, “my job”, and “hanging out with friends”. Those are the kinds of answers that people like to hear, and those answers are great. It’s important to have family and friends that you like to be around! But guess what? There is someone else you should enjoy being around. Do you know who that is? Yourself!
Do you remember the last time you did something you enjoyed just for yourself? I do! In fact, I’m doing it right now as one of the things I enjoy is writing! But what about you? Do you ever take time to evaluate whether or not you are doing things that you enjoy?
If you answered no, then I challenge you to get something to write with, set a timer for two minutes, and just start writing down things that you enjoy that don’t involve other people. Ready, set, go!
I did this exercise yesterday, and I was amazed by two things. One, I still could have kept writing even when my two minute timer went off. I think this is great! It means that I enjoy a wide array of things. Also, judging by my list, I should never be bored!!!Two, I thought about things that I haven’t done in a long time like kayaking, and listing it made me want to get back on the water! Once it gets warmer of course! What did you learn from your list?
What do you enjoy seems like a simple question, but as adults it is very easy to forget the things we enjoy or not make the time to do them. On some level, adults tend to forget how to have fun because of how busy life is. Those are the times when you most need to pull out your list. Did you know that it has been proven that people who do things they enjoy are more productive in other assets of life? It’s true! As a bonus they also typically have better relationships!
My challenge for you is to take time today and do at least one thing you enjoy. In fact, make it your goal to do one thing you enjoy every day!
“Look deep into nature, and you will understand everything better.” – Albert Einstein
Over the years I’ve seen various challenges to help get people out of their homes and into nature more. One of the most well known challenges involving this is the 1,000 hours outside challenge. I loved the idea, but the math always stopped me from pursuing it. With 365 days in the year, this meant needing to spend 2.7 hours per day outside. My immediate thought was “I can’t do that, I can’t go out when it’s cold.” That may sound like an excuse, but I have a rare condition called cold urticaria that makes going out in the cold difficult. My next thought was “I don’t have enough time to do that when I get home at 4:30, and LilKsby is ready for bed at 6.” Based on my thoughts, I almost gave up on the idea of an outside challenge before I even started it.
Then a light bulb clicked on in my head. I don’t have to do the same outside challenge that everyone else does; I can adapt the challenge to fit my needs!
From that light bulb moment, the challenge became to spend 500 hours outside with LilKsby this year! For a family that spends most of their time indoors, 500 was not a scary goal in my head. Plus, anything is possible when your why is strong enough!
Sometimes knowing your why is difficult. In this case knowing my why is easy. One, even though I spend a lot of time indoors, I believe that there is a calm, peace, and freedom that one can only find outside. Two, I love to walk outside which improves my health physically and mentally. Three, also the most important of these, I want LilKsby to know there is more to life that being indoors tied to a screen. I want him to run and play, climb on things, splash in puddles, and enjoy the beauty of nature. For this goal, my why is clear!
So far in our journey to 500 hours, we have completed 3 hours. That’s not a lot, but guess what? Yesterday – in one afternoon – we tripled what we had previously achieved! All it takes is a little time here and there to reach a goal of 500 hours! The biggest obstacle to overcome for the goal? Overthinking it. I find myself thinking “Where can we go to play outside?” Well, duh self, you just have to go in your own yard! This goal doesn’t require going to a park or a place for hiking (though that is fun too). This goal literally just requires stepping out the door!!!
So as we embark on our journey to achieve 500 hours outside, wish us luck! Pray for minimal sunburns (for real though because the other day I got a little sunburned waiting in the Zaxby’s drive thru for 20 minutes) and bug bites for us! As you’re cheering us on our way, I challenge you to come up with your own 500 hours challenge. I’ll cheer you on!
Growing up it was always emphasized to my generation that women can be anything they want. They can have a career; in fact they can have any career a man can have perhaps with the exception of penis model. They can live on their own and live the single life ala Sex and the City; they can live with roommates; they can cohabitate with a domestic partner. They can even go the more traditional route and pursue marriage and children. At some point, I’ve pretty much covered all these bases with feeling totally fine about the fact that I can’t be a penis model. Although for me the single life was nothing like Sex and the City, partially because I prefer video games to bars.
The most fulfilling of all the things I’ve been? The role of mama! There’s truly nothing like it! As a working mama and wife, I’m not good at doing the traditional “wife jobs”. Partially because I don’t have a lot of time, but also because I’m not big on a lot of domestic things. My restaurant receipts alone will tell you that I’m more Stephanie Plum than Samantha Stephens in the kitchen! Many may think that the shear fact that women like me can have it all is all we want. However, while I enjoy having the possibilities, there are other things I want as a working mama!
The number one thing I want as a working mama? The gift of time with my family. On a typical work day, I leave at 7 am and pick LilKsby up between 4 and 4:30. That’s 9 to 9 1/2 hours without him. When we get home, we have dinner, bath, and he is usually asleep by 7. This means when you factor in the half hour I see him before work, I only see my child for approximately 3 1/2 hours per day five days a week. That’s not the kind of math I like. So, my number one want? More time with family!
I also want to have an irrational emotional/mental meltdown every once in a while as someone listens to me vent. I am very lucky to have Mr Kisby and friends that allow this. If I didn’t, I might go crazy. The feeling split between being a great employee (especially in a field that requires a great deal of compassion and is constantly being put down and under minded by legislation) and being the best mama and spouse possible can be exhausting physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am amazed at the people who do it without ever having a come apart because I’ve got to let it out sometimes!
The last thing I want? This one may sound selfish, but self care isn’t selfish. I need time to just be me. It’s really easy to forget who you are when you’re consumed by being a mama, wife, and worker. It can be easy to lose yourself when you’re busy taking care of other people. That’s why I think it’s important to take time and enjoy things you like doing. This is why I read, write, create, and play video games. It’s important to me to still have time for things that I enjoy; it’s important to have time for the things that make me who I am! I truly believe that when I am my best me, then I can be my best in every other role that I have!
I could get into a lot more universal issues that I want as a working mama, but I feel like those pertain to lots of mamas and not just me. Maybe other mamas have the same wants as me. Maybe I just wanted to write about my thoughts today. Either way, I hope this some inspires you or helps you reflect on what you want.
The Great Kaysby 