"My soul is full of longing for the secret of the sea, and the heart of the great ocean sends a thrilling pulse through me." – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I am a champion at starting things and forgetting to make time to finish them. One of these projects has been completing LilKsby’s baby book. Lately, I’ve been putting a renewed effort into completing it, and tonight I was working on the page where the prompt was listing gifts that people gave me and Mr Kisby for LilKsby. Even though he’s almost four, I was able to recall enough of the gifts to fill the page. We were VERY blessed by the AMAZING people in our lives! The page was filled with items such as picture frames, clothes, toys, bouncers, nursery furniture, and feeding sets. We were also very thankful to be brought meals by our closest family and friends. These were essential during the first few sleepless weeks!
After I filled out that page in the baby book, I was flipping through notes on my phone. One of them was titled Gifts of the Magi. In the note I had written the following:
Gold – most valuable metal, symbol of divinity
Frankincense – medicine for many ailments
Myrrh – Used as medicine and embalming royalty, a gift reserved for kings
I’m guessing that I looked them up one year after hearing or reading the story of the Three Wise Men coming to visit Baby Jesus. I’m sure I made the note so that I wouldn’t ask myself again in the future what frankincense and myrrh were. I’ve always thought that they were strange gifts to give to a baby, but when looking at what they symbolize/were used as, it makes sense that they would be appropriate gifts for a baby king. So I get it, but I do wonder if Mary would have appreciated a warm baby blanket or the back in the day equivalent of Pampers. I’m sure I’m not the only mother who has every thought, “Man! Those Magi gifts were not practical!”
That’s enough of my curious thoughts for the night. Time to go back to comparing toilets on Home Depot’s website, registering for an event, and considering starting another Coursera course while listening to The Big Bang Theory all while the toddler snoozes next to me.
There’s a song by Rascal Flatts with the lyrics “This much I know is true/That God blessed the broken road/That led me to straight to you.” The song is aptly titled “Bless the Broken Road,” and though it came out a number of years ago, it has been in my head today. I saw a post from a Facebook connection (sometimes it seems weird to me to say Facebook friend when it is someone you knew years ago that you’re not really sure if you were friends or acquaintances with then much less now) reflecting on the journey of their life and how some of the must unexpected parts yield the biggest blessings. That post moved me because I felt like it was talking to me in that most of what I thought would be my future 22 years ago hasn’t been my path at all; however, I could not be more blessed and happy than I am today on this road.
When I look back on those days, I think of a person who just really wanted people to like her. At times I felt like I would do anything just to try and get/retain friends. As a smaller kid, I was always heavy set and far from the “pretty, popular type” which meant not always having a lot of people want to be around me. Looking back, I realize that this need for people to like me could occasionally come at the cost of hurting others. It was never intentional, and since I haven’t seen a lot of those people in a long number of years, I hope they have either forgotten or forgiven the wrongs I did to them. If they haven’t done either, then I get it. Sometimes I wasn’t the nicest way back in the day.
Thankfully, a long my journey through various roads, I have learned to like me for me. I’ve met a wonderful tribe of friends along the way thanks mostly to theatre, LARPing, teaching, and Mary Kay, and a long the journey I met an even more wonderful husband! I know that Mr Kisby is the absolute best husband in the world because he’s my best friend, my biggest cheerleader, and so much more. I could keep going, but the lovey dovey overload might make you sick at your stomach. The best way to put it is we love each other and like each other. Mr Kisby is also the one who gave me the biggest blessings in the world: the baby in Heaven that taught me just how much I wanted to be a mom and the sweet little boy here on earth that calls me Mama. ❤️ As the boy and the husband lay asleep next to me, my heart could not be more filled with love and joy! Thank you God for leading me to them!
Personal growth aside, there are a lot of other parts of life that I never would have imagined 22+ years ago. You may not believe it, but at one point I wanted to be a lawyer. What can I say besides Clueless and Legally Blonde made it look glamorous? I would have been a terrible lawyer because I absolutely do not like conflict. In fact, having conflict with people has been know to make me so upset I get physically sick. Then, I started college with the intent of getting a double major in theatre and journalism with a minor in sociology. I ended up changing schools because I didn’t like the college and I missed home with all of my friends. That change led to a couple of business degrees and eventually a teaching degree. All of these led to job changes which saw me through various relationships and a lot of time LARPing (these I’m confident enough with who I am to admit publicly how nerdy I am). Each of those choices were little roads that also brought me to where I am today.
Today, I am on the best road I ever could have imagined! I absolutely love being wife and mama, and I am so thankful to be in a position where I am able to be home caring for them full time. Each day with them is an adventure, and as I am watching LilKsby grow and change, I feel like I’m also watching myself grow and change for the better each day! I love the person I am becoming, and I believe that allows me to love all of the important people in my life that much more!
I realize this is pretty deep for a Friday night, but I feel like turning 40 this year is going to be filled with a lot of similar reflective retrospection. I’m not one of those dreading 40. It’s actually quite the opposite. I feel like 40 is going to be fabulous! Since the broken road has led me to where I need to be, some of the greatest chapters are still to be written!
If you have been following me for a while, then you know that back in May I published a blog about 39 things I want do while 39. Well, it is now January and the big birthday is getting closer every day. A lot of times right now I look at my list and start to panic because I am behind on my goals. However, this year I am very pleased with how my goals are going. So far I have…
Rode a roller coaster – rode a super fun adult one at Dollywood and the kids one! I love wooden roller coasters!
Rode a train – did this at Dollywood too! Really cool train ride up the mountain!
Taken a vacation – I’ve been able to go on a few of them! Highly recommend making the trip to the America’s Historic Triangle!
Hosted Sushimas – We hadn’t had this event with friends since 2019, and it was wonderful to get back together!
Gone Kayaking – Nothing like the open water for relaxing, planning, and thinking!
Played Pool – one of the best perks of our cabin in the Gatlinburg area! I hadn’t played pool with my parents in years.
Gone to a Cave – Took our nephew to Mammoth Cave for the lantern tour. Highly recommend! Other recommendation? Don’t give the lantern to a teenager who will walk fast and leave you behind!
Entered a Creative Competition – Entered the city Christmas tree competition! 12th place of 31 is not to shabby in my book!
Made a Scrapbook of LilKsby’s 2021 and 2022 Calendars – put this in the category of things I previously never made time to complete!
Completed LilKsby’s First Year Frame – Same as above!
Saw Dr Strange 2 – Loved this movie! Then again, I was a HUGE fan of Wandavision!
Saw Thor Love & Thunder – I laughed so much that I wanted to cry!
Watched Young Sheldon Seasons 3 and 4 – Not as good as TBBT, but the supporting characters are a lot of fun!
Watched Step By Step – I love seeing all the old TGIF shows again! Fun fact, Staci Keanan who played Dana is now a hot shot lawyer!
Attended GenCon Online – Love gaming! Miss going in person!
Gone to Gatlinburg – We made it to that area twice! The time we drove through Gatlinburg, we totally saw a bear crossing the street.
Completed 5 Paintings – I’m so happy to have gotten back to the canvas!
Saw the BSB DNA Tour (again LOL) – Almost 30 years and they are still amazing!
Completed NANOWRIMO – I love writing, so this is always a fun challenge!
Gone to a Pumpkin Activity – We went to the Pumpkin Wagon, painted pumpkins, and carved pumpkins!
Wrote 10 Fan Letters – As a kid, I loved writing fan mail! So I thought why not try it again? I wrote 10 letters and sent them. We will see if I get any responses!
Gone to the State Fair – Worked it and went as a visitor!
Got a Casey’s Taco Pizza – I’ve had two, and they are still the most tasty pizza on the planet!
Something you will notice from my list is that some of the goals were not on the initial list as some of the initial goals have been removed and replaced. I account this to changing circumstances in life and my priorities shifting. Once I switched over to Work from Home Mom life and homeschooling, I started realizing just how much I enjoy goals that can be completed at home. Along the same line, I also realized that you don’t have to spend a ton of money to be able to complete goals. Plus, as we grow as people, the things we want to do change. So even though I haven’t met all of my goals yet, I think I’ve already learned the most important lessons from 39 Things While 39: Your goals in life will change as you change, and this is an acceptable part of personal growth!
Stay tuned to see what all gets completed by my birthday!
When I tutor a student in writing, I often have them begin the session with a free-write. Tonight I posed the question if you could meet anyone dead or alive who would it be. I thought of this based on the old ice breaker question of “If you could have dinner with any five people who would it be?” The following are my five minute free-write thoughts.
If I could meet anyone in the world, alive or dead, I have no idea who it would be. There are cliché answers like, “A celebrity!” These answers seem great in the moment, but beyond telling them, “OMG! I love your music, movies, etc,” I’m not sure how meaningful the experience would be. I’ve met some celebrities, and while I am very glad that I got to talk to Luke Perry about hand sanitizer and thank William Daniels for being an inspiration to teachers, I am not sure that I could have a full conversation with a celeb. Unless they were like a celebrity makeup artist or a costumer. Another good answer would be relatives that I never got to meet or don’t remember meeting. However, the only ones I would really want to meet I either am happy with what I know (my grandfather who died when I was two) or am finally satisfied with answers about (the long lost great grandmother who I finally learned about last fall).
When I talked about my response with my student this evening, I mentioned how some people want you to give a big existential answer. I didn’t mention specifics, but I’m sure some people judge you if you don’t say something like “Jesus” or “Ghandi” or “The OG Dahli Lama.” Likewise, I think people expect you to mention people like Abraham Lincoln, but even with as much as I like history, there aren’t any historical figures that I’m like, “Yes! Invite them to dinner!” I think the easiest answer is that I am happy having dinner with the people that I frequently share meals with now. I don’t need a fantasy dinner party to be satisified. I’ll take dinner at the table with family and friends any day! Not saying I would turn an invitation down if it happened, but I just don’t have a “dream dinner party.”
Now that the picture of the cute doggy has your attention, let’s talk about the concept of Paying It Forward. The idea behind this is that if you do something kind for someone, then they will do something kind, and the chain will never end until everyone has received and given an act of kindness. This theory became popular with the 2000 film titled Pay It Forward. The most frequent implementation of paying it forward seems to be done in drive thru lines. Many people love the idea of surprising the person behind them by paying for their meal, and many more people love scoring free food. However, I will be the first to say that I am not a fan of this method of paying it forward.
Now before you go thinking I’m mean and uncaring, hear me out. Just the other day, I was reading an article about a young man who was publicly shamed by restaurant employees for ending a “pay it forward drive thru chain”. The young man explained that while he was thankful someone else had paid for his meal, he could not afford to pay $45 for the entire car behind him. He added that he only had $15 which was going to buy his breakfast and get him through. My heart broke for this young man who has also now been shamed virally for breaking the chain. Frankly, I think he had every right to break the chain, and I think it was in direct opposition of the pay it forward concept to shame him. After all is it really showing kindness and compassion if you’re going to make people who don’t participate feel guilty or you guilt people into participating?
For me showing kindness and compassion are not things you do to get someone else to do the same things. You show them to care about other people. That said, here are some ideas on how to show kindness without buying food for the person behind you:
1. Call a school system and offer to pay off a family’s lunch charges.
2. Send money to a school doing a book fair so that those who can’t afford to shop get the opportunity to buy a book.
3. Volunteer! Help out at an animal shelter, homeless shelter, donation center, etc.
4. Deliver meals to senior citizens and/or those who are homebound.
5. Donate books to Little Libraries.
6. Donate food to blessing boxes.
7. Go and visit with people in a nursing home. If you have a skill, see if that skill could be used to bring them joy.
There are a lot of ways that you can show kindness without making others feel guilty because they can’t contribute. Plus, maybe more people would do random acts of kindness if they felt they were voluntary and not an obligation. I’d love to know which you prefer: random acts of kindness or the pay it forward model.
In all of the years that I have been in my business and attending conferences to motivate and inspire, I have frequently heard a lot of words of motivation. One that I’ve heard a lot is “It’s not what is taught; it’s what is caught.” Another saying that I’ve heard a lot is “What you think about you bring about.” When hearing these at conferences, I knew that they were accurate. However, it wasn’t until I started paying attention to what my own child was saying that I realized just how much what you say will become what you hear.
If you have a child of your own, are close with a friend’s child, or have relatives that you’ve witnessed grow through the toddler years, then you know that children pick up on the things you say. Usually you learn this the first time your kid drops something and says, “Shit.” Maybe it was the first time you called someone a “Dumbass” when they cut you off in traffic, and from the backseat you heard, “Dumbass.” While these things make you giggle (because you know we’re all secretly 7 some days), you know that you have to make a change so that your child will not think that it is acceptable to be three and cuss like a sailor. Even though this change can be hard to make, most of us are willing to do it or start using alternative codes for the betterment of our children.
But what about those words and phrases that we don’t think about that are causing our children to have negative thoughts? I started thinking about this one a lot lately with how much LilKsby has been saying “I’m scared” or “I’m afraid” when starting a sentence. He will apply it to things he’s completely not afraid of like “I’m scared of the garage.” He’s not the least bit scared of the garage, but I’ve realized how often he hears those phrases. Because of how much he hears them, he seems to just think that is how you start a sentence even though the emotion doesn’t apply. I caught myself today saying, “I’m afraid it’s going to be moldy” while washing dishes with LilKsby. I immediately corrected myself and told him that “I’m afraid” was the wrong phrase to use and that I should have said “I think.” Really, I could have cared less if the peanut butter jar full of water had become moldy. If it was moldy, I already knew that I would just throw it in the trash and recycle next time. Also, I’m not afraid of a moldy jar. Yet there I was making a hypothesis yet making it sound like I was scared of a jar. Instances like this make me realize just how much I need to be careful with my speech around a toddler in formative years.
With LilKsby being in his formative years, I am always fascinated by how much I am learning from him. I’m starting to think one of the greatest things about having a toddler is the life lessons that I am learning to make myself a better person. Am I perfect? Far from it! Are my words always the ones I want to hear repeated back to me? That is a HUGE work in progress! But I know that I’m doing something right when he tells people, “Thank you, have a blessed day!”
Does this picture bring you joy? If you’re a cat person like me or just a fan of chunky orange kitties, then the answer is yes. Let’s say you aren’t a cat person (hard for me to understand, but we’re all different). What kind of photo would bring you joy? Is it a photo if the beach? Maybe a photo of a favorite childhood place? As you’re thinking about the photo, start thinking about the emotions that it brings you. Are you smiling to yourself as you think about it?
Little exercises like this are one of the simplest ways to remind yourself of the things that bring you joy. Another good exercise? Making a list of all the things that bring you joy. Writing out a list can remind you of things you forgot that you loved. It may even remind you that you just love to make lists! I’m sure someone reading this is like, “Making lists is fun? What? No.” Then there are people like me going, “YES! I love making lists! Can I check things off the list too?”
There are tons of other exercises out there for feeling joy. Also, I’m by no means an expert. After a joy filled night, I just felt like sharing a little advice for finding your joy. What is your favorite way to find joy?
I started writing about the topic below during a five minute free write and decided to expand on it.
CS Lewis once said, “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” Personally, I like this quote. As someone who has missed a lot of goals, I feel like this quote give me hope. From this quote, I know that I can “reset” so to speak and still reach goals. For example, I spent several days of 2023 eating well (yes, I realize we are only 9 days into the year). Today, I had McDonalds twice. This doesn’t mean I’m going to always eat badly. I can start again tomorrow and still achieve desired weight loss. (End free write portion.)
Who else can relate to already having slacked a little on one of their goals? I don’t know how many readers are raising their hands, but I’m here to tell you that it is okay if you’ve already experienced bumps in the road. One of the greatest lessons we can get from goal setting is learning to overcome obstacles. Learning to overcome obstacles is a key in life as it teaches us perseverance and bounce back ability. Overcoming obstacles also teaches us that sometimes we have to be okay with losing. Learning to be okay with losing helps us to keep going and striving for the end in the long run. I’ve long said that the “Everyone gets a trophy mentality” is detrimental to learning how to cope and move forward. Judging by the quote, I’m guessing CS Lewis felt the same way!
So if you are struggling with your goals, take this as your Monday Motivation and get back on the proverbial horse! You can do it! I believe in you!
When my uncle passed away unexpectedly in 2012, the medical staff asked if we wanted to donate his organs. We said yes, but we weren’t sure they would be able to use any of them. He had passed from a second massive heart attack and had been on dialysis treatments for more years than I can recall, had lost toes and was mostly blind from complications of diabetes. We were rather sure they wouldn’t be able to use anything. Sometime later my dad received a note saying that my uncle’s corneas had been transplanted. We were all astonished that a blind man had been able to give another person sight! What an amazing gift!
For some reason I started thinking of this today, and it reminded me that we all have gifts that can unexpectedly help others. These gifts could be natural talents that we use to entertain and bring smiles or make clothes to give to those in need. The gift could also be time. It could be as simple as spending time with a loved one or as dedicated as volunteering each week with a given organization. Perhaps the best gift is the gift of listening. When you truly listen to someone, you can hear what they are really saying. What’s the old saying? You have two ears and one mouth for a reason! There are so many gifts that can unexpectedly bless people. What gifts do you possess that could be an unexpected blessing?
Happy New Year and welcome to 2023! We’re two days into this new year, and if you’re like me you’ve spent some time reflecting. As the minutes ticked down to midnight, I found myself writing down my highlights of 2022. There were quite a few (more than the previous two years), and to list them all here would take a while. However, some of the biggest were all of the family travels, holidays because LilKsby finally understood them, and our household career switch. When the clock struck midnight and 2023 began, I kissed Mr Kisby, and we both started thinking about what we want to 2023 to look like. One of my goals? Blogging more! I’m shooting for once per week, and to help I’m not going to limit my topic choice. I’m going to write whatever is on my mind which is also therapeutic. Today’s topic? New Year’s Superstitions!
I’ve never been someone to believe in superstitions. I’ve never been afraid of Friday the 13th; I’ve always loved having black cats and think they are adorable; I walked under a ladder when I was like 7 in a Waldenbooks store, and I don’t think I had bad luck until I was 14. However, I’ve always found New Year’s superstitions intriguing because my grandma always insisted on having black eye peas and cabbage for lunch on New Year’s Day. She said it brought luck in the new year, and I thought it smelled funny. This year I wanted to honor my grandma (she’s been gone 12 years this month) and have the “luck” foods. So I started looking up New Year’s superstitions out of curiosity. You can see the full article that I read here, but if you want the funny version of them, continue reading!
The Midnight Kiss – This is one that I had heard of for a long time. The idea is whoever you kiss at midnight will love you for the rest of the year. This one is nice in thought, but if you’re like me, then you kissed your spouse which means (hopefully) that you want them to love you for a lot more than a year! I plan to kiss my husband at midnight for at least the next 50 years!
Eat 12 Grapes At Midnight – The thought is that you eat one grape for each month, then you will get luck for all 12 months of the year. If you eat 11, I guess you get good luck for 11 months. If you eat 13, then I guess you need to work on counting or maybe you should’ve had a snack before midnight so that you didn’t feel the need to eat that extra grape! Also, when is it safe to eat the rest of the bag of grapes???
Those New Year’s Day Foods – This is the one I knew about, but I didn’t know until this year how much the “lucky” foods vary depending on where you look. So we covered as many bases as possible by having broccoli slaw (it had the cabbage), black eyed peas, pork, and spinach (it is green, therefore, to me it counts as having greens). I forgot about the corn bread, but we had some dinner rolls that were best by 1/1/23 and didn’t get sick, so I call that lucky! I also believe that you can count egg rolls for the cabbage and bacon or sausage for the pork. That’s my philosophy!
Don’t Leave the House Until Someone Visits You First – We did this one, but we also didn’t leave the house today either. This one struck me as the funniest because I’m pretty sure it was just a way to get people to stay home on January 1. If you think about it, if ever single person waited for someone to visit them first, then no one would be able to leave the house. We’d all be waiting! Then I thought if you live in a neighborhood, maybe you draw names to find out who has to be the unlucky one for the year. Then you send that person to everyone’s homes in the morning so that they can leave and still have luck. Still thinking this one was just meant to keep people at home. Also, what if you were out celebrating New Year’s Eve and weren’t even home? Does the stay at home take effect once you are inside your own house, or do you count as your own first visitor?
Full Cupboards – We also achieved this one, but only by accident. We went to the grocery on New Year’s Eve because I needed the New Year’s “lucky” food, and I picked up some other things while in the store. Allegedly, having a full cabinet on New Year’s Eve/Day ensures you will have full cabinets all year. I just call it smart because it’s winter and you never know when the weather is going to bad, or you never know when you are going to end up stuck at home because of illness, a broken vehicle, etc. Along the same note, you’re also supposed to start the year with a wallet full of cash to ensure wealth during the year. If I start the year with a wallet full of lottery tickets, does that mean I’m going to win the jackpot? I think that’s a great question!
For more of the superstitions and the reasoning behind them (beyond my semi-sarcastic reasoning) checkout the article I linked. Bonus, if you check it out now, then you have 364 days to get ready ready for next year! Happy 2023!
Once again I am writing this as I reflect on a portion of Coursera class that I’m taking. At this moment, I am watching a video (it is paused for reflection) with Rabbi Patricia Karlin-Neumann about love as viewed through Judaism. One of the points of reflection was this: think about how love replenishes where as anger and outrage diminish. What a true sentiment!
Think about it. When people feel anger and fits of outrage, how are they often left? I know for me that while in the moment a fit of anger might make me feel better, in the long run anger and outrage make me feel depleted of energy and wanting to avoid human interaction. In our modern technology and social media driven society, anger even makes me want to avoid interaction via social media. Frankly, I’m glad that I’m not an overly angry person because I feel like that would be mentally and physically exhausting.
Love on the other hand, I could express love all day! Expressions of love fill my cup so to speak. When something is done in love, it brings the biggest smile to my face! It also empowers and makes me want to do more. There is something super energizing about love. I also love the feeling associated with altruistic love that comes with doing activities that lead to making the world a better place. I could talk all day about the goodness that comes from love, but I think the summation of it would be this: love keeps us going! Love gives us life!
Winter Storm Elliott has brought many of us an unexpected gift for Christmas: change. When the forecast was made, many of us never dreamed that it would impact our Christmas plans. Even yesterday after the 53 degree temperature drop, the icy snow mix covering the ground, and spending the majority of the day at a wind chill of -17, I kept thinking there would be some Christmas magic that allowed our planned Christmas events to occur. Alas, I was wrong. The roads are still a mess, the temperature is 15 degrees with a wind chill of 0, and I don’t even know if salt works in this extreme. The result? Change for Christmas.
Let me preface this by saying that six out of ten times change is hard for me. That said, even though I know it is better to be safe at home, I got a little in my feels cooking breakfast this morning. Had things gone to plan, we would have already been having family gift time and been eating Chinese for lunch. Instead, I had already cleaned vomit (cats will eat anything even if it won’t stay down), started a crockpot of soup, and began a load of laundry. However, along the same line, if things had gone to plan, then I wouldn’t have been able to let LilKsby spend an hour laying in bed and “reading” his Christmas books to me. This was absolutely precious and priceless! Other things have also occurred this morning that made me glad to be home instead of out and about. So even though it wasn’t what we had planned, change for Christmas hasn’t necessarily been a bad gift for 2022.
As I was writing the previous paragraph, I started having memories of other times we’ve had change for Christmas. There have been a couple of times that my mom has missed out on Christmas festivities due to illness; there were Christmases (yes, plural) spent in the hospital with my grandparents. There was even one Christmas where my dad had to work because his job was essential. Thinking back on these changes, I realize that my real problem with change for Christmas is that I don’t like things that are out of my control or that I cant help fix. When my mom was sick, I could take care of her. When my grandparents were in the hospital, I could visit them. When my dad had to work, I knew that we could have things ready for him when he got home. However, in this case I can’t control the weather or how fast things are cleared. As much as it can be hard for me, I just have to wait.
So while we wait for improvements, I feel like this is a great time to slow down (the holidays can be a lot of rushing) and be thankful. Even with change for Christmas, I have A LOT to be thankful for this holiday. The first one of those is a loving like minded family also wanting to put safety first! It’s also a great time to just enjoy the moments now instead of pondering on what was supposed to happen. If you’re struggling with this gift of change for Christmas, then I invite you to also reflect on what’s going right today and for the things you have to be thankful about.
Another night, another Coursera discussion question that got me thinking. This time the prompt was to describe how you’ve witnessed love and kindness this week. The following was my response:
Since becoming a mother, I’ve had one goal for my child: to be kind. As as strong proponent of living by the philosophies of “love they neighbor” and “do unto others as you would have done to do you,” this has been extremely important to me. At the most basic level, I’ve taught my now toddler these philosophies by teaching him and modeling to him conversational kindness by saying “Please” and “Thank you” along with other common courtesies. Additionally, we have worked on doing things like sharing with others and how to help someone when they are sad. This holiday season we’ve taken our teaching him about kindness one step further and taught him about the importance of giving to others via The Angel Tree.
The Angel Tree has been an important holiday tradition for my husband and I for as long as I can remember. We always loved blessing children in need during the holiday season, and when our own child came along, we knew we wanted to teach him to do the same. Because of Covid, we hadn’t had an Angel Tree child since 2019, but we knew immediately that we wanted to help a child this year. As we started talking about it, I started thinking that I wanted our toddler to be involved in the entire process. I thought that this would be a great way to start showing him that Christmas isn’t just about getting presents from Santa. So when the time came to choose a child, we had our toddler pick who we were going to bless this Christmas. We asked him what angel he wanted to pick, and he told us a baby boy.
Once the child was chose, we had discussions with our toddler about what things the baby from the Angel Tree wanted. We talked about how the things on the baby’s list would be for him and not our toddler. I was amazed at how understanding our toddler seemed to be of this concept. Today, we finally did the shopping for our Angel Tree child. We took our toddler with us, and we made a big deal about how we were going to be getting things to give to the baby he picked. Together as a family, we spent a few hours picking out items for the baby from the Angel Tree. I was so proud of how my toddler picked out toys and clothes for this little baby that we don’t even know. By the end of the trip, he was saying “Baby’s Name needs this!”
Tomorrow, we will be dropping off all of the items that we bought today. I always get sentimental when we drop them off because I always feel blessed to be able to help others. This year I feel even more blessed because I believe that my toddler is learning the importance of kindness and love from things like this. Why is that so important? Because learning kindness starts at home.
I’ve often heard that school is never out for the teacher. Even though I am no longer teaching in the traditional sense, I still find myself wanting to learn about a variety of topics. That said, I recently signed up for a few courses via Coursera (they did not pay me to post that). So far I’ve been working on Love As a Force for Social Justice, and our first assignment was to define what love means to us and what we believe the opposite of love is. The following was my answer:
From my experience of love and what I have read in this course so far, there isn’t just one definition of what love is as it tends to vary by person. For me love can be defined in three ways. First of all, love is a feeling. It is a feeling comprised of trust, understanding, caring, commitment, kindness, and patience. Secondly, love is an experience of joy and being one’s best self. This is the type of love embodied by things such as loving nature and feeling most alive when outside or loving to serve others and finding joy in volunteering. Finally, love is a living and exemplifying The Golden Rule. There is no greater way for me to define love than by demonstrating the ability to love others as I love myself. Thus far, this is how I would define love.
The opposite of love is hate which can be embodied in a variety of ways. One way that hate is the opposite of love is that hate involves mistreating others. When people are mistreated for any reason this shows hate. Additionally, hate is the opposite of love in that hate involves violence. Violence can be verbal, physical, or in writing. Lastly, hate is the opposite of love as it involves characteristics not associated with love such as injustice, discrimination, and deception. When these characteristics are present, love cannot be shown. These are some of the reasons that I feel hate is the opposite of love.
A couple of days ago, I saw a sponsored ad on Facebook for Big Lots Thanksgiving sales. I don’t have feelings one way or the other about a sale at Big Lots, but I was curious to see the comments. They seemed to be equally balanced between “How dare you be open on a holiday?” and “Great! I might come shopping!” I can be understanding of both perspectives. On one hand, it is wonderful when families get together for the holidays on the holiday. On the other hand, some workers rely on the extra holiday pay, some people don’t celebrate holidays, and some people spend time with family while shopping. Aside from both sides of the Big Lots argument, I started thinking about if people were just applying these arguments to retail stores, or does it bother them that other establishments are open on holidays?
My first thought to this question was that I am glad essential care places are open on holidays. Twice in my life, we have been thankful for emergency health services being open on the holidays. The first was when I was ten. We had family visiting from Kansas for Christmas, and my cousin got really sick. Luckily, the hospital emergency room and a pharmacy were both open for the holiday. The second instance didn’t impact me directly, but the memory is crazy vivid. We were in Oklahoma having Thanksgiving with family, and my uncle’s neighbor accidentally got run over by the car he was repairing. Literally ran over! Guess how glad we all were that medical professionals were working that holiday? Seriously, the neighbor may not have lived otherwise. We were thankful for all of those working that played a part in those instances!!!
I understand that medical facilities are a far stretch from Big Lots, but gas stations aren’t that far of a stretch from Big Lots. I’ve been very thankful that gas stations are open for holidays. We’ve almost always traveled for holidays be it for 20 minutes or 12 hours. Guess what is necessary for travel? Gas! I can also say that never were we the only customers at gas stations on holidays. There were always other people getting gas, using restrooms, and getting travel snacks.
Speaking of travel, on holidays we have also been very appreciative of hotels and restaurants being open for breakfast. Yes, a big part of Thanksgiving is eating, but those meals are usually later in the day. I still remember a delicious diner on Thanksgiving morning in Oklahoma. It was close to the hotel where we were staying, and they had the best waffles with strawberries and whipped cream on top! Seriously, I remember them almost 30 years later! Likewise, we’ve also been appreciative of restaurants open on holidays when we’ve had relatives in the hospital. When a close relative’s life is in the balance, the last thing you want to do on a holiday is cook a big meal at home. Also, and I say this from experience, there are only so many hospital cafeteria meals you can eat. Even if the food is decent, it is unsettling hearing “code blues” announced on speakers when your relative is in ICU/CCU. Sometimes to keep your sanity, you need a non-hospital cafeteria meal on a holiday!
Another essential to keeping sanity is having entertainment. How many people watch football on Thanksgiving and Christmas? I’d almost wager that some of the people acting like Big Lots is the evil incarnate for being open on Thanksgiving are watching the NFL today. In my head, I hear them arguing “Those players get paid millions! They know what they signed up for! Their families can have Thanksgiving another day!” What about the officials, the parking attendants, the concession stand employees, and the stadium maintenance staff? When you’re watching at home, there still has to be people working on site that make the game experience possible. Likewise, how many people have been to the movies on Thanksgiving or Christmas? I have! Growing up, we would go as a family. It was always fun after a meal early in the day. Also fun on a holiday? Watching parades! I’ve never seen a single person complain about all the people who have to work on Thanksgiving and Christmas to make parades happen. I’m sure thousands of people have to work to make these parades happen!
So if we are thankful for medical services, travel services, and entertainment being open on holidays, why do people get so bent out of shape about stores being open? Is it because people like saying “greedy retail establishments”? That doesn’t make complete sense given travel services and entertainment also generate income on holidays. Is the root of it because people like to complain about things they don’t understand? Whatever the argument is, I hope that everyone who reads this has a blessed holiday season!
The Great Kaysby 