change – The Great Kaysby

39 While 39 – Complete

If you’ve been with me for a while, then you know two things. One, last year I sat out to complete 39 fun things while 39 years old. Two, tomorrow I turn 40. I’m excited to say that I’ve completed 39 things!!! I’ve actually completed a lot more than that, but I finished my list. You will note that my list changed throughout the year. This is a reflection of my own personal growth throughout the year. My most important takeaway has been that it is okay to change what you want in life because that is a sign that you’re growing! I’m so happy with how much I’ve grown over the last year and how much I’ve begun living by my priorities. I could get very philosophical about this, but instead I’ll share my accomplished list!

✓ Ride a roller coaster – rode a couple of them at Dollywood. Wooden roller coasters are still my favorite!

✓ Ride a train – also happened at Dollywood! It was beautiful looking down at all the Christmas lights!

✓ Finish the green and gold dress – I started creating this dress in 2012 when we still played Amtgard. When we stopped, I stopped. Now it is finished, and it is beautiful!

✓ Take a vacation – We took several! Made it to Pigeon Forge area twice, America’s Historical Triangle, Nashville, and Rough River. Looking forward to more travel this year!

✓ Sushimas – First once since 2019! I loved seeing all of our friends and bringing back traditions!

✓ Bet on the Derby – Felt so grown up to bet on the race from my phone. Looking forward to getting my $9 check!

✓ Go kayaking – Nothing like being out on the water to make you feel one with the universe!

✓ Finish Baby Books – LilKsby is turning 4 soon, so I’m elated to say I finally had time to finish his books!

✓ Play pool – I love playing pool! Did this on my birthday last year and in Gatlinburg!

✓ Go to a cave – We had the wonderful opportunity to take our nephew to Mammoth Cave last summer.

✓ Enter a competition for creativity – I’ve always wanted to enter a Christmas tree competition! I came in like 12th out of 31!

✓ Calendar Album – Made an album out of all the calendars LilKsby has made for presents.

✓ Complete 1 Year Frame – I had bought one of these my first year frames before LilKsby was born. Finally completed it!

✓ See Dr Strange 2 – Fun movie!

✓ See Thor Love and Thunder – Great movie!

✓ Read 12 Books – Finished 13 and have started 14!

✓ Watch Young Sheldon 3 and 4 – Glad I did because Seasons 5 and 6 have been amazing!

✓ Watch Step By Step – Great throwback to my childhood!

✓ Go to GenCon Online – Gaming is fun in person and online!

✓ Wedding Scrapbook – After almost 11 years, mine and Mr Kisby’s wedding scrapbook is complete!

✓ Order a t-shirt quilt – Wanted to do this for years! Can’t wait to get it back!

✓ Go to an art museum – Virtually visited the Van Gogh Museum!

✓ Make a state fair entry – have a few ready to go!

✓ Go to Gatlinburg – Great trip! Highly recommend Cade’s Cove!

✓ Go to the Tulip Farm – Beautiful local farm! Love supporting friends!

✓ Complete 10 Coursera Classes – took classes for fun and business!

✓ Complete 5 paintings – painted for myself and Christmas gifts!

✓ Go to JR Neighbors – I’m proud of us for trying something new.

✓ See the BSB DNA Tour – Amazing show with amazing people!

✓ Complete NANOWRIMO – Loved starting this book! Can’t wait to edit and publish!

✓ Go to a winery – Not only did I go to one, I also became a member!

✓ Write Letters for Book – Completed a book with letters from me to Lil Kisby!

✓ Watch The Game Season 2 – This show is epic! There needs to be a Season 3!

✓ Finish a Bible Study – Learned about love being the greatest gift of all!

✓ Go to a pumpkin activity – We went to the Pumpkin Wagon!

✓ Try a salt cave or salt room – So relaxing! I’ve been twice now!

✓ Write 10 fan letters – This was so fun! I never got any responses, but it was fun to do!

✓ Get a Casey’s Taco Pizza – My favorite pizza! I only get them when going west. Hope yo have another soon!

✓ Go to the State Fair – worked it and went as a guest! Love it!

Not on the list? Transitioning from full time working mom to stay at home/work from home mom. Hands down the thing I did while 39 that has helped me be a better wife, mother, and person while also improving my mental and physical health. I challenge all of you to take risks, do things you enjoy, and make your next year the best year!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Change for Christmas

Winter Storm Elliott has brought many of us an unexpected gift for Christmas: change. When the forecast was made, many of us never dreamed that it would impact our Christmas plans. Even yesterday after the 53 degree temperature drop, the icy snow mix covering the ground, and spending the majority of the day at a wind chill of -17, I kept thinking there would be some Christmas magic that allowed our planned Christmas events to occur. Alas, I was wrong. The roads are still a mess, the temperature is 15 degrees with a wind chill of 0, and I don’t even know if salt works in this extreme. The result? Change for Christmas.

Let me preface this by saying that six out of ten times change is hard for me. That said, even though I know it is better to be safe at home, I got a little in my feels cooking breakfast this morning. Had things gone to plan, we would have already been having family gift time and been eating Chinese for lunch. Instead, I had already cleaned vomit (cats will eat anything even if it won’t stay down), started a crockpot of soup, and began a load of laundry. However, along the same line, if things had gone to plan, then I wouldn’t have been able to let LilKsby spend an hour laying in bed and “reading” his Christmas books to me. This was absolutely precious and priceless! Other things have also occurred this morning that made me glad to be home instead of out and about. So even though it wasn’t what we had planned, change for Christmas hasn’t necessarily been a bad gift for 2022.

As I was writing the previous paragraph, I started having memories of other times we’ve had change for Christmas. There have been a couple of times that my mom has missed out on Christmas festivities due to illness; there were Christmases (yes, plural) spent in the hospital with my grandparents. There was even one Christmas where my dad had to work because his job was essential. Thinking back on these changes, I realize that my real problem with change for Christmas is that I don’t like things that are out of my control or that I cant help fix. When my mom was sick, I could take care of her. When my grandparents were in the hospital, I could visit them. When my dad had to work, I knew that we could have things ready for him when he got home. However, in this case I can’t control the weather or how fast things are cleared. As much as it can be hard for me, I just have to wait.

So while we wait for improvements, I feel like this is a great time to slow down (the holidays can be a lot of rushing) and be thankful. Even with change for Christmas, I have A LOT to be thankful for this holiday. The first one of those is a loving like minded family also wanting to put safety first! It’s also a great time to just enjoy the moments now instead of pondering on what was supposed to happen. If you’re struggling with this gift of change for Christmas, then I invite you to also reflect on what’s going right today and for the things you have to be thankful about.

Merry Christmas Eve!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

10, 7, 5 Principle!

This evening I was listening to a recent conference from my direct selling business, and there was a concept that really stuck out to me. In 2017, Pamela Waldrop Shaw discussed three things that drive change. Her three things were as follows: 10 – Significant Events, 7 Critical Decisions, and 5 Influential People. When I heard this, I immediately thought about the recent change in my life to Work From Home Mama and how the 10, 7, 5 Principle applied to that change. Here is my reflection so that you can see the Principle in application!

10 Significant Events

First Pregnancy & Miscarriage – 2018
Princess Court of Sales Achievement – 2018
Second Pregnancy – 2018 and 2019
Birth of LilKsby – 2019
Mr Kisby Layoff – 2019
Covid Pandemic – 2020-Present
Pandemic Teaching – 2020-2022
Mr Kisby Graduates – 2021
Mr Kisby New Job – 2022
Social Issues and Injustices – Ongoing

7 Critical Decisions

Mr Kisby deciding to go to school instead of finding “just another job”.
Keeping LilKsby at home during the 2020-21 school year. This made me realize how much I longed to be at home with him.
Realizing that I don’t like being made to feel expendable. Also the existential dread associated with starting the last two school years during Covid peaks was mentally overwhelming to me.
Deciding that homeschool feels like the best option for us as we want our child to grow up with an education that reflects our values. This means more than just intertwining faith and academics. It means teaching equality, respect, fairness, and how to be an ally!!!
Determining that an abundance of money is not as important as living a fulfilled life by our priorities. Yes, I know things cost money. Yes, I know you have to have enough money. Yes, we like to play the lottery. However, money is not the most important thing to us.
Realizing that it is more important to live by our priorities than the priorities others give us.
Making the choice to leave teaching after 11 years.

5 Influential People

The Holy Trinity – I prayed a lot over the decision to make the change from teaching to work from home mama. Ultimately I was able to follow what was put on my heart, and even though my brain wants to panic sometimes, I’m doing my best to follow FAITH over Fear! When change is imminent, I highly recommend praying to your Deity. Not religious? Then I recommend lots of self reflection!
Mr Kisby – My husband, my partner in life, my biggest cheerleader!
LilKsby – My Sweet Boy and the one who learns more from watching us than anything else.
Homeschool Friends – I see the magnificent wonders they have worked in their children’s lives, and that is what I want for LilKsby.
Entrepreneur Friends – Seeing them live their truths by their priorities is impacting!

So there you have the 10, 7, 5 principle! My 10, 7, 5 spanned a four year time period. For others their time period might be longer, and for some it might be shorter. Also, a lot more than 5 people influenced me, but that gives you the concept. As I’m embarking on this change, I think it is good to reflect. It keeps the perspective fresh and the path set right.

What change are you contemplating?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

A Secret to Happiness 😊

Do you want to know the secret to happiness? With the caveat that I’m exhausted from last night’s insomnia (see the previous blog), I will tell you a secret to happiness. Are you ready? Here goes…

The secret to happiness is to realize it is okay for the things that bring you happiness to change.

As I write this, I’m lying on bed with LilKsby while he plays educational games on Mr Kisby’s phone. Normally, it doesn’t bring me happiness for him to play on phones because I believe there is a link between screen time and attention span length (I’m a mama not a scientist, so I could be wrong). However, on a day like today when I could go to bed before bath time, it brings me great happiness to just relax with him next to me. On a normal day this might make me feel reminiscent of a sloth, but not today!

This example of day to day happiness variance is not typical; however, it is reminiscent of how what brings us happiness changes throughout life. If you think back on your lifetime, I bet there are things you can think of that used to bring you happiness that no longer do or you’ve simply out grown. For example, Barbies brought me happiness from like 5 to 12. Do I wish Barbies still made me happy? Nope, but I’m glad I enjoyed them and the creativity they fostered while I did!

From about 19 to 29, a game called Amtgard brought me a lot of happiness (along with some headaches literally and figuratively). It’s been almost a decade since I’ve been active with it because it became more of a habit than an activity of happiness. However, I’m EXTREMELY thankful for the time that it brought me happiness and the skill is learned while playing. (Side note, it was stress relieving to get to legally hit people with foam sticks!) Today, I am ABUNDANTLY blessed by the husband and friendships that came from it. Guess what? They still make me happy!

Likewise some of the things I never knew would bring me happiness when I was younger have brought me more joy than I ever could’ve imagined. I am an only child, and I was never around babies much growing up. From this experience, I was sure that I never wanted kids. That is until I met my husband, and I got to see how cool kids were with our niece and nephews. This led to me finding out at 36 that being LilKsby’s mama brings me more happiness than I ever knew possible!

And there you have it. The secret to happiness is realizing that it is okay for the things that bring you happiness to change. So if you find yourself not enjoying something like you used to enjoy it, I challenge you to try something new. Read, paint, start a blog, plan a vacation, start a side hustle…invest in yourself and make time for happiness! Most of all, if you agree with me, pass the secret to happiness on to someone!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Feel Good Friday

What if every Friday you did one good deed for someone else? It could be buying them their favorite drink; it could be writing them a quick thank you note; it could be sending them a message saying “you’re doing a great job”. Whatever you did for someone would not have to have a financial cost, but it has the potential to have a reward greater than money: happiness. The more happiness that someone has in their life, the more happiness they can put into the lives of others. Imagine a world where people experienced more happiness! I bet it would be a more peaceful world!

Today I challenge you to do something that makes someone else feel good. You might inspire them to do something good for someone else. There’s no telling how big the ripple effect could become!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Day History CHANGED

Patriotic free stock photos download (39 Free stock photos) for commercial use. format: HD high resolution jpg images

Last night when people across the country went to bed, a woman had never been Vice President of the United States. Today, just before noon, that changed forever when Vice President Kamala Harris changed history by taking the Vice Presidential Oath of Office. Whether you voted for Biden and Harris or not, you cannot deny the significant historical change of today!

As an elementary aged girl in the late 80s and 90s, I remember hearing the question “Would you rather be the first woman in the NBA or the first woman president?” Understand that this also predates the WBNA being formed. I remember saying first woman in the NBA with hesitation partially because I wanted to give “the cool” answer, but also because the idea that a woman could be president seemed impossible at the time. Truth be told, even though my own state had a female governor from the time I was seven months old until I was four, the idea of women having a major impact on politics seemed impossible at the time. Watching history be changed today, I wish I could go back and tell nine or ten year old me, “Just you wait. Women will have power politically in America!” Guess what? Today, we have that power!

Many years after being that little girl, as I look at the world through “mom eyes”, I am beyond thrilled that LilKsby – who is partially Pacific Islander – will grow up in a world where he sees that all people regardless of race, ethnicity, or gender CAN achieve political offices that once seemed impossible. I am tickled pink that the first Vice President he will remember is a female of color! I am also elated that his peers will grow up in a country where doors have been opened for everyone! Doesn’t that make you feel the empowerment behind the historical changes today?

History aside, I made two other thought changing observations today. Did you know that the Hebrew meaning of the word “Salem” is peace? How ironic that a place where the name of the town meant peace would be synonymous with witch trials! Also, did you notice the number of officials wearing purple at the inauguration today? Think about it…if you take red (Republican) and blue (Democrat) and mix them together, you get purple. What a great symbolic gesture of unity! What if as this change grows the country went from red or blue to all together purple? Peace could be in the works! Peace in our land would be another great change to history!!

Here’s to change!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

A Reflection on Change

“The south moves north, the north moves south. A star is born, a star burns out.
The only thing that stays the same is
Everything changes, everything changes.”

-Tracy Lawerence, Time Marches On

When I began this blog a little over a year ago, my goal was to write about either a travel spot or my love of food once a week. Well, obviously since I haven’t blogged since August that didn’t quite go as planned. Why? Because simply put, things change.

There is a plaque on my living room wall that says “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I’ve ended up where I need to be.” This is a quote that I think describes my life – and probably that of many others – beautifully. When I began the blog last year, I was going through a time of loss from which writing provided me a distraction. The distraction was intensified by dreaming and sharing about all of the places I’ve been or love to eat. At the time, I needed that distraction.

Today, I’m back to blogging not because I need a distraction, but because I want to share my reflections on life. Unlike Nick Carraway in The Great Gatsby, I know that today is my birthday. There’s no forgetting that one for me! Also, unlike Nick I’m not turning 30; I’m turning 36. But similarly to the character of Nick, I have been going through a period that has changed the shape of my life. You see, last September we found out that God was blessing us with a rainbow baby.

This has been one of the happiest yet most intimidating changes me and Mr. Kisby have ever faced. In fact, at times – especially during those early appointments before I could feel baby moving – the changes were downright scary. But then you realize that you’re going to get to see the world through an innocent, beautiful, all wondering pair of eyes and suddenly you feel overwhelmed by how blessed you truly are!

This change has also led my mind to take a different direction from the focus of travel and food that are me and Mr Kisby centered, to dreaming of things that revolve around us and LilKsby. There are so many things I want us to share with this bundle of love:

The breathtaking ocean
The majestic mountains
The beauty of our quaint, small country church
The awesomeness that is Derby Festival
The places I loved as a child
The greatness of true friendship
The wonder of waterfalls
The fact that there are great free things to do
The adventure of reading
The joy of writing
The simple things like a walk through nature that show us the Kingdom, Power, and Glory around us

If you’d have asked me when I turned 35 if I would ever have a mind shift like this, then I’d have probably told you no. At the time, my heart was still broken and healing especially with the close timing to Mother’s Day when I had to watch as mothers were put on pedestals while I wanted to scream, “What about me? My baby is in heaven!”

But as Robert Frost once said, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.” My road between May and September 2018 involved some amazing things that allowed me to be ready to be blessed by change. Me and Mr Kisby celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary (though I did tell him happy 7th anniversary) with an amazing dinner at Jeff Ruby’s and another cruise! We even tried snuba diving where supposedly there was a shark swimming near me that I didn’t even notice! I walked across the big Mary Kay stage in Dallas as a part of the Princess Court of Sales! In a fabulous dress of course! We went to the State Fair! We saw Taylor Swift in concert in Nashville! We spent a lot of time with friends and family! And shazam! We were blessed with the biggest, best change in the world: the change of LilKsby.

With our change, I will continue to blog. They might be more reflective than informational, but I’m looking forward to that. Maybe I’ll help someone else that needs a change experience one.

In the meantime, be like Gatsby…

“Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us.” – F Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby