momlife – Page 3 – The Great Kaysby

What This Working Mama Wants ❤️

Growing up it was always emphasized to my generation that women can be anything they want. They can have a career; in fact they can have any career a man can have perhaps with the exception of penis model. They can live on their own and live the single life ala Sex and the City; they can live with roommates; they can cohabitate with a domestic partner. They can even go the more traditional route and pursue marriage and children. At some point, I’ve pretty much covered all these bases with feeling totally fine about the fact that I can’t be a penis model. Although for me the single life was nothing like Sex and the City, partially because I prefer video games to bars.

The most fulfilling of all the things I’ve been? The role of mama! There’s truly nothing like it! As a working mama and wife, I’m not good at doing the traditional “wife jobs”. Partially because I don’t have a lot of time, but also because I’m not big on a lot of domestic things. My restaurant receipts alone will tell you that I’m more Stephanie Plum than Samantha Stephens in the kitchen! Many may think that the shear fact that women like me can have it all is all we want. However, while I enjoy having the possibilities, there are other things I want as a working mama!

The number one thing I want as a working mama? The gift of time with my family. On a typical work day, I leave at 7 am and pick LilKsby up between 4 and 4:30. That’s 9 to 9 1/2 hours without him. When we get home, we have dinner, bath, and he is usually asleep by 7. This means when you factor in the half hour I see him before work, I only see my child for approximately 3 1/2 hours per day five days a week. That’s not the kind of math I like. So, my number one want? More time with family!

I also want to have an irrational emotional/mental meltdown every once in a while as someone listens to me vent. I am very lucky to have Mr Kisby and friends that allow this. If I didn’t, I might go crazy. The feeling split between being a great employee (especially in a field that requires a great deal of compassion and is constantly being put down and under minded by legislation) and being the best mama and spouse possible can be exhausting physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am amazed at the people who do it without ever having a come apart because I’ve got to let it out sometimes!

The last thing I want? This one may sound selfish, but self care isn’t selfish. I need time to just be me. It’s really easy to forget who you are when you’re consumed by being a mama, wife, and worker. It can be easy to lose yourself when you’re busy taking care of other people. That’s why I think it’s important to take time and enjoy things you like doing. This is why I read, write, create, and play video games. It’s important to me to still have time for things that I enjoy; it’s important to have time for the things that make me who I am! I truly believe that when I am my best me, then I can be my best in every other role that I have!

I could get into a lot more universal issues that I want as a working mama, but I feel like those pertain to lots of mamas and not just me. Maybe other mamas have the same wants as me. Maybe I just wanted to write about my thoughts today. Either way, I hope this some inspires you or helps you reflect on what you want.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Virtual Victories

Today I had the opportunity to participate in Ignite 2022, a virtual conference for one of my careers. I know there are a lot of people excited to return to in-person conferences, but I not so secretly hope that virtual conferences are here to stay. In fact, I believe that in some ways virtual conferences are better than in-person. Why? I’m glad you asked! Drum roll please…channels Dave Letterman… “And now, Top 10 Virtual Victories!”

Number 10 – Woke Up in My Bed – Some hotel beds are really nice, but I am much more rested when I get to wake up in my bed with my pillow that knows my head. Plus, not to sound all Goldilocks, but my mattress is just right!

Number 9 – Last Minute for the Win – I am a last minute person which can be problematic with in person conferences. In fact it’s usually why I’m late to the first session of the morning. But with virtual, I’m always on time even if I get out of the shower ten minutes before go time!

Number 8 – Fewer Distractions – Most of the time I have the attention span of a goldfish. There are times that talking to me is very reminiscent of talking to Dory in Finding Nemo. With virtual conferences, I can provide myself with the accommodations that I need for success like a quiet room, non distracting lighting, and stretch breaks to regain focus. I can also watch sitting or standing which can help me.

Number 7 – No Parking Issues – in my garage my car always has a spot! I don’t have to fret over where I’m going to park, if the Valet is going to lose my car (it happened once but that’s a story for another day), or how much parking costs!

Number 6 – Comfy Chair – can we all agree that most conference seats are not meant for bigger people? As a bigger person height and weight wise, I always feel like I’m sitting on the people next to me. I always feel uncomfortable when I feel like I’m up in somebody else’s business. Also, I’ve got back issues, so being at home in my own chair saves me from a post conference chiropractor appointment!

Number 5 – No Idle Chit Chat – I’m what one would call an extroverted introvert. I am good at being social, and I enjoy it in the right doses and settings. However, big events like conferences, open houses, vendor fairs, etc drain my battery. I enjoy them while they are happening, but afterwards I need time to recuperate mentally and emotionally.

Number 4 – Dress Up from the Waist Up – I spent the whole conference in pajama pants! From the waist up I had on a nice shirt, cardigan, jewelry, and makeup done. However, I had on comfy pants! Also, I didn’t have to wear shoes! Wearing shoes all day is for the birds!

Number 3 – Best Concession Stand Ever – Imagine a concession stand with no waiting where water doesn’t cost $4 a bottle and only favorite foods are served! That’s right, the best concession stand is my own kitchen! This concession stand served Caesar salad, pomegranates, Diet Coke, and water! Glad it was all free because I drank 4 bottles of water!!! Best part? I didn’t have to worry about things I won’t eat or am allergic to! My concession stand rocks!

Number 2 – No Line at the Ladies Room – Any time I had to go to the bathroom, there was no line! I could just walk right in my own bathroom and go! Bonus? No questionable droplets on the toilet seat and no cringing because people for some reason forget how to flush in public!

Number 1 – Time With Family – When I attend virtual conferences I get to see my husband and toddler IMMEDIATELY when it is over. There’s no travel time where I’m super antsy and irritable because I miss them so much. All I have to do is leave my office! Approximately 10 steps from my office to my hugs!

What are your top Virtual Victory for Virtual Conferences?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Real of Reality

Let me say what I know a lot of people are thinking today: I am not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. Negative Nellies will see that statement and think things such as “She’s just lazy and wants to sleep in” or “She’s so selfish! She just had two weeks off”. However, that’s not the case. Just as I know this isn’t the case for all of the people I’ve seen on my social media saying they are depressed about returning to work, have almost cried today over returning, etc. The real of reality is that the core values for work force members are changing abs the values of many employers are not.

For a few decades following the Great Depression, it seems as though the reality of why people worked was solely for a paycheck. They wanted to go to work, make enough money to ensure their family lived adequately, and be able to retire with the pension they knew they would get for x years of service. This reality made employer’s very happy because it meant people working long hours which tends to lead to higher profits.

For members of today’s work force, priorities are changing. Our (I use this in a general sense knowing that it doesn’t apply to every single person) reality is that we want to be valued as people and not just a faceless, nameless human among the masses. We want to feel as though our employers care about our mental and physical health; we want to feel like our priorities that put family above career are important. We are tired of being made to feel guilty for attempting to prioritize our health, the needs of our families, and for wanting people to care more about the well being of others than a profit margin. At the end of the day, many of us are willing to work one, two, or even three jobs for an employer who cares and allows us to live by our priorities as opposed to working for one employer who doesn’t treat us like a person. We’ve realized that happiness and wellness are more important than a paycheck!

For me personally, the real of reality means being away from LilKsby and Mr Kisby, who I’ve spent the last two weeks with except for about five hours, for 9 hours a day. I’ll get to see them for 30 minutes in the morning, then we will have maybe 3 hours before LilKsby goes to bed because he doesn’t nap at daycare. That’s 3 and a half hours with the sweetest most precious boy in the whole world. It’s maybe 5 hours with Mr Kisby, but usually less because of cleaning and prepping for the next day. For someone who believes family is more important than a career, do you see why it’s hard for me to want to return to work even to a job I enjoy? I know I’m not the only mama who feels this way!

So that is the way I see the real of reality. Factor in Covid related anxiety’s with how I’m going to miss my family like crazy, and there you have it. Am I hoping to win the Powerball? Yup. Does that mean I don’t love what I do? Nope. I just love being mama and wife more than employee. Anyone else agree with this real of reality?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Unplug to Recharge

I’m by far not a Transcendentalist. I tend to function better when I have a set routine, and even though I have a unique sense of style there is nothing groundbreaking about how I dress. I’m also too concerned with covering the amount of gray in my hair to say that I march to the beat of my own drummer. Even the unpopular things I’ve been involved with throughout my life such as theatre, medieval reenactment, playing video games, playing tabletop games, and writing have somehow become mainstream. However, there is one part of transcendentalism that I totally get: nature.

For me nature is where I go to unplug and recharge. (Unplug is kind of a loose term, but I’ll explain that in a minute.) There is something about being out in nature whether it is hiking, swimming, or sitting in a cabin looking out at the trees that helps me to feel peaceful and relaxed. This weekend was spent sitting in a cabin in the woods surrounded by family, and I can say that I haven’t felt this relaxed going into a work week since last May when a weekend was spent in a cabin in the woods! It was wonderful to unplug from all of the responsibilities of home! I don’t know about everyone else, but I struggle to truly relax at home. Even when I’m reading, writing, sewing, etc there is always that voice in the back of my head saying “You should be doing x, y, and z!” With that mantra in my head, it’s impossible to be totally serene at home. However, in a cabin, I can unplug that little voice and relax!

Relax and unplug for me is probably different than a lot of people. I still played on my phone while unplugging, and I still used my laptop. The difference is that instead of working, I used my devices to research things I would like for Christmas, order Christmas pajamas, and look at gifts for LilKsby. Not a bit of work was done! I also finished one book, read another book, and started a third one (all Stephanie Plum novels)! My only to do tasks all weekend were eat, hangout with family, and sleep! It was also relaxing to be able to go on a trip without having to go on the interstate. Back roads are way more relaxing! The best part of the weekend? The relaxation has continued even at home tonight. I’m not even stressed about going to work tomorrow!

I’m so thankful that I was able to spend the weekend in nature, unplug from everyday life, and recharge! Are you recharged for the week?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Dental Dwelling

This afternoon Mr Kisby and I had dentist appointments. While he was in his appointment, I started thinking about how different going to the dentist is as a kid. As a kid going to the dentist (or ortho) can be exciting! Not because you’re going to the dentist, but because it means getting out of school early. This leads to getting to play video games sooner (I would’ve picked a Zelda game), having a snack sooner, etc. Even though the dentist part wasn’t fun, it was always fun to get home early!

As an adult going to the dentist is exciting in a different way. For many of us, going to a dentist or doctors appointment requires taking off work either a full or half day. In a perfect world, the portion of the half day not spent at the dentist would be just as fun filled as it was during childhood. However, the world isn’t perfect and frequently any spare time is somehow spent adulting! This was very true for me today! During the time Mr Kisby was in the dentist and I was waiting for my appointment, I managed to drop items off at our local charitable thrift store, purchase air filters for our HVAC system from a local business, drop off recycling, and call two businesses with whom we work! When I was coming out of the local business, it hit me how different going to the dentist is as an adult. Never as a kid would I have imagined that I’d be so excited to get so many errands accomplished in 45 minutes! For that matter as a kid I never knew I’d one day be purchasing air filters! Spoiler, I would’ve been excited as a kid to have a few minutes to read in the parking lot before my appointment like I did today!

Going to the dentist isn’t the only thing that is different from childhood to adulthood. Most things are completely different than when we were too little to worry about money, be concerned with time, and have anxiety over things that are out of our control. I’d say those were the good old days, but I also love hanging out with Mr Kisby and LilKsby too much to believe that! However, at the end of the day, I think it’s important to remember what it was like to be a kid, and sometimes I think we need to embrace it! For me, this currently means I need to check on my Sims!

What do you dwell on when you go to the dentist?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

A Secret to Happiness 😊

Do you want to know the secret to happiness? With the caveat that I’m exhausted from last night’s insomnia (see the previous blog), I will tell you a secret to happiness. Are you ready? Here goes…

The secret to happiness is to realize it is okay for the things that bring you happiness to change.

As I write this, I’m lying on bed with LilKsby while he plays educational games on Mr Kisby’s phone. Normally, it doesn’t bring me happiness for him to play on phones because I believe there is a link between screen time and attention span length (I’m a mama not a scientist, so I could be wrong). However, on a day like today when I could go to bed before bath time, it brings me great happiness to just relax with him next to me. On a normal day this might make me feel reminiscent of a sloth, but not today!

This example of day to day happiness variance is not typical; however, it is reminiscent of how what brings us happiness changes throughout life. If you think back on your lifetime, I bet there are things you can think of that used to bring you happiness that no longer do or you’ve simply out grown. For example, Barbies brought me happiness from like 5 to 12. Do I wish Barbies still made me happy? Nope, but I’m glad I enjoyed them and the creativity they fostered while I did!

From about 19 to 29, a game called Amtgard brought me a lot of happiness (along with some headaches literally and figuratively). It’s been almost a decade since I’ve been active with it because it became more of a habit than an activity of happiness. However, I’m EXTREMELY thankful for the time that it brought me happiness and the skill is learned while playing. (Side note, it was stress relieving to get to legally hit people with foam sticks!) Today, I am ABUNDANTLY blessed by the husband and friendships that came from it. Guess what? They still make me happy!

Likewise some of the things I never knew would bring me happiness when I was younger have brought me more joy than I ever could’ve imagined. I am an only child, and I was never around babies much growing up. From this experience, I was sure that I never wanted kids. That is until I met my husband, and I got to see how cool kids were with our niece and nephews. This led to me finding out at 36 that being LilKsby’s mama brings me more happiness than I ever knew possible!

And there you have it. The secret to happiness is realizing that it is okay for the things that bring you happiness to change. So if you find yourself not enjoying something like you used to enjoy it, I challenge you to try something new. Read, paint, start a blog, plan a vacation, start a side hustle…invest in yourself and make time for happiness! Most of all, if you agree with me, pass the secret to happiness on to someone!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Insomnia Mama

Anyone else currently awake? It’s 3 am, and I’ve been up for almost an hour. Why? It started with a little heartburn. Once I was awake, I decided to go to the bathroom. Next thing you know I’m putting in a Walmart order because LilKsby is almost out of bubble bath (NOT ALLOWED). I tried to fall back asleep, but I had a few little thought nuggets that were too good not to share!

Why is “used” an option when buying bubble bath on Amazon? I’m sure it isn’t really used, but the image of someone rebottling some Mr Bubbles is funny to me. I have an image of them sitting on the edge of a bathtub with a strainer to catch the bubbles and a funnel to get them back in the bottle.
When I was doing squats earlier did I look like a legit workout goddess or someone who failed stripper school? One of my besties had a birthday get together at a burlesque studio one time. I was not graceful or coordinated, and it was not pretty!
Do foot cleanses really work? Will they make my feet less stinky? That alone would make me less stressed! Avoiding stinky feet is one of the reasons you’ll see me in sandals in November! Plus for some reason it tends to be hot in November still…#globalwarmingisreal
Which is better: hot yoga or sauna therapy? Is the answer doing yoga in a sauna? Yoga is all about concentration and inner calm. I think if sauna yoga was a thing, I’d be too concerned about whether or not the previous yogi practiced naked to be calm.
What all did I order from Walmart? I’m tired. Guess it will be a surprise after work tomorrow! I hope they have the bubble bath in stock!

I hope you found these as entertaining as I did! Now back to sleep (hopefully).

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Overcoming Obstacles

Earlier today, I made this post on my Facebook page:

At 2:30 today, the weeds were still so high that you couldn’t see the sunflower lights. I’d been putting off weeding it for WEEKS because my mind was full of thoughts like:

*I can’t do this without help.
*If I ask for help, it will seem like I can’t take care of myself.
*I can’t do this, I have a toddler. When would I have time?
*I need to use weed killer because my natural remedies haven’t worked. I can’t use weed killer!
*If I weed the garden and use weed killer, I’ll have to shower afterwards and wash the clothes. Who has time for that?

Today, by 3:20, I had weeded it, gone over it with weed killer, put the clothes in the washer, and showered. It isn’t perfect, but it is much improved! Guess what? I did it by myself during toddler nap time (hubby was in the house while I was outside)! It didn’t take near the time I’d built up in my mind, and it wasn’t as hard as it was in my mind! It’s amazing what the brain can convince us we can’t do when we are perfectly capable of doing it!

While in the garden, I felt like I was in one of my two elements where I feel the most relaxed. When I’m in my relaxing element, I get a lot of deep thinking done. Today’s thoughts? One, our brains telling us something is impossible keeps us from achieving greatness. Two, why is the hardest thing in the world to ask for help?

The first thought came from me realizing how easy weeding the garden was. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I had built it up in my head as an impossible task. As I realized how simple it was, I started thinking about all the other things I’ve told myself are impossible over the years like “you’ll never be able to earn the use of a career car” and “you’ll never be able to lose weight”. How many of these am I actually able to accomplish? What all has my brain been holding me back from achieving? My conclusion? Stop listening to the brain say “you can’t” or “you aren’t”, rip the weed out so to speak, and say job well done everyday progress is made towards a goal! I know that’s easier said than done, but I feel realizing I can do things the brain says I can’t it’s a step in the right direction!

As for my second thought, it’s a doozy! It is super hard for me to ask for help. I feel like society engrains in us that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Like if you have to ask for help, then you’re not good enough to do it on your own or have no business doing it in the first place. Both of these are absurd given at some point in life we all need help to get things done! Last week when my AC needed fixing, I couldn’t have done it without a repairman’s help. No where in my skill set is AC repair! That was easy. Dishes piling up that I don’t have time to do today? I can’t ask for help, I’m supposed to be Super Mom/a Wife! Maybe that right there is the answer! Maybe asking for help is only hard when we feel like something is expected of us! Ooo…that really might be it! Either way, I hope that LilKsby grows up being willing to ask for help! I also hope that he never feels people are judging him for asking for help!

So those are my deep thoughts for the day! What are your deep thoughts today?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Random Sunday Thoughts

As another Spring Break comes to a close, there are a multitude of thoughts swirling through my head. Like so many times when this happens, I feel like the best thing to do is attempt to sort them out in writing. Why do it in a blog? Because I’m sure if I’m thinking these things, there is someone else out there who can relate.

Thought 1 – On any given day, you can be both the “picture perfect” mama and “a chicken with her hair on fire” mama. Yesterday, I was the mama who takes the family to the Farmer’s Market in order to shop local and organic. That’s helping other families financially while helping the health of my family! We also did our grocery pickups because we meal plan like champs (even though often the plan gets tweaked midweek when a frozen pizza us substituted into the lineup). Then, we napped for three hours, woke up just in time for bath time, and the realization that we never had dinner. That’s when you go to Dominos in your pajamas with a messy bun and allow your toddler to eat greasy pizza way too late at night while staying up way past their bedtime! This was a great contrast to the “picture perfect” me who had taken the toddler to the library twice earlier in the week, taught him about gardening and growing our own vegetables, and the importance of family outings on nature trails and to the zoo! Spoiler alert, with all that teaching of good things, I may have relied on McDonalds and Burger King a little too much this week! Why both? Because one has $1 drinks and good fries, and the other has Whoppers.

Thought 2 – Flexibility is a way of life. I had these great ambitions of a “self spa” day where I was going to color my hair, do a charcoal mask, and paint my nails. All of these are great thoughts, but when you take a three hour nap while snuggling a toddler who then goes to bed two hours late, the thoughts stay thoughts. For a minute, I was kind of upset about it, then I realized that at least I got a shower and to pluck my eyebrows (they were pretty unsightly…not to mention a dead giveaway that I color my hair when they are thicker). Sometimes it’s the little things that make you smile!

Thought 3 – Does it ever become easier to go back rib work after breaks? Don’t get me wrong. I like my job, but I LOVE being a wife and mom. After a whole week of just getting to be a wife and mom, it is really hard to go back to both. As much as you try, it is really hard to be fully there for both. I’m sure I’m not the only person who has thoughts such as “Did I take the chicken out for dinner?” and “Did I switch the baby’s laundry out?” while at work. Likewise, at home during wife/mom time sometimes I can’t help but think about things that happened at work that day especially if something didn’t get finished that I wanted to complete. Once I get back into the swing of both, it’s always fine. There’s just always that dread the day before returning since it requires sacrificing time with those you love most.

Thought 4 – Why are people so quick to change their tunes based on popular opinions even when they are founded in misconceptions? Just a year ago, the general public was celebrating teachers for their flexibility and quick ability to adapt to non-traditional methods of providing instruction. People were actually talking about how teachers deserved higher pay! Now, some of the same public acts like teachers are horrible, selfish human beings because they put their own families needs first and/or have been anxiety ridden by all the pandemic protocols. FYI…this school year has required more work than any other year in order to meet the needs of all students.

My random thoughts might not make a lot of sense; however, they are a little more sorted out! Just like I knew they would be. 😊 I hope that whatever random thoughts you’re having tonight, you can sort them out too.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Just Breathe and Take Control

Anyone else feel like if one thing doesn’t go right then they beat themselves up so bad mentally that the rest of the evening is shot? I’m sure I’m not the only one! About 21 hours into 2021, this happened to me for the first time in the New Year. Now it’s 22 hours into 2021, and I can assure you that sometimes you just need to breathe, take control, and everything will work out.

Without going into a lot of details, last night I thought I placed an Amazon order that had to be received before 2020 ended. Tonight, I realized the order never went through. My response was to mentally berate myself so much that I didn’t want to do anything except for sit and be mad at myself. After a few minutes, I logged onto my health account, chatted with a rep (who just happened to be working on New Year’s Day), and realized that I didn’t lose any money. I immediately felt relieved, and I now have a better understanding of how my health account operates. I ended the chat feeling immensely relieved, a little silly for getting so upset, and proud of myself for taking the initiative to attempt to do something about the whole situation which led to a good outcome.

This little story is a great reminder that sometimes we just need to breathe and take control in anyway we can. It is also a reminder that this is something I need to continuously work on improving. I’d been attempting to think all day about things I need to work on during 2021, and I kept making excuses for why I couldn’t think about it at a given time. As it turns out, I didn’t need think time; I just needed a bump in the road to remind me of what I need to improve in 2021. I just need to remember to breathe and take control when things seems to not go as expected!

Here’s to just breathing and taking control! Happy 2021!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

NANOWRIMO 2020 – Post One

Hello readers! I haven’t blogged here in a while because I have been participating in NANOWRIMO 2020. This year instead of a fictional novel, I have been writing daily reflections. I thought that I would share some snippets from my reflections. Enjoy!

from 30 Days of Reflection “Day 1 – November 1”

Why am I so excited about a little joy and relaxation? If 2020 has taught us anything, it has taught us that we have to find joy in things. If that means putting up a Christmas tree on November 1, then by all means do it! I think that one of the biggest things that is currently neglected in our society is the willingness to find joy in little things. Society as a whole seems to project that joy has to come from grandiose gestures or activities, but I find that the little things in life can be some of the most joy bringing (like my Christmas tree). This year I have reached this conclusion about life. If it doesn’t bring you joy, then don’t do it. If it does bring you joy, then do it.

As far as relaxation, that has undoubtedly been hard during this pandemic. It is easy to go down a rabbit hole of “Am I doing my part to stop the spread?” or “Am I going to catch the virus and die?” Relaxing during a pandemic can be downright difficult. There are so many expectations by society, family members, jobs, friends, etc that the idea of relaxing can seem about as easy as learning how to juggle flaming swords. However, relaxation is extremely important. If we can never relax, then we will literally drive ourselves mad and into health issues from stress and anxiety. (I should know, I’m the Queen of Anxiety Land!)

Therefore, I go back to my Christmas tree. The day may have been exhausting leading up to the putting up of said Christmas tree. However, the next time I go downstairs, I know that I’m going to feel joy and relaxation as soon as I see that glow.

Thanks for checking out my first excerpt! Also, in case you wondered, that glow has made me feel relaxed and joyful for 20 days running!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Exhaustion Isn’t a Strong Enough Word…

As I was trying to gather my thoughts this evening, I saw this post that someone had shared on Facebook from Education to the Core. What I was struggling to put into words, this picture sums up perfectly. By the end of each day, this is currently how I feel. Why? Because I care.

On the surface caring seems like a great thing. It’s good to care about others and to follow the golden rule of doing unto others as you would have them do to you. It can also be absolutely exhausting. On a typical day, these are things (some overlap and many occur multiple times) that I care about at some point during the day:

Am I being a good mom to LilKsby even though I’m so tired when I get home that there are days I just want to sit and stare at the wall?
Am I being a good wife Mr Kisby by helping around the house and with LilKsby?
Am I going to feel worse about going to bed early and getting physical rest than I would if I did everything I need to get done?
Am I disappointing others when I’m not good company to be around because I’m so exhausted (and some days defeated feeling) after work?
Am I disappointing others when I say “no” to things?
Am I protecting my family from the virus the best I can while maintaining some “peace of mind”?
Am I not looking at the costs of short term “peace of mind” in the long term picture?
Am I selfish for wanting time to “do nothing” and attempt to just relax and have fun?
Am I the only one wearing a mask in public because I care about the health of those around me?
Am I the only one that hasn’t resumed all “normal” activities because there’s still a pandemic going on in the world?
Am I doing any good by washing my clothes and showering as soon as I get home?
Am I following the most correct, most up to date guidance from trusted officials?
Am I the only one that five weeks into school still feels like I don’t know what’s really going on around me on pretty much a daily basis?
Am I protecting my students from Covid?
Am I cleaning their work areas thoroughly enough?
Am I forgetting to clean things that should be obvious high touch points?
Am I sanitizing my own hands enough to prevent spread?
Am I sanitizing my hands so much that it scares my students?
Am I instructing my students in a way that is effective while protecting them from illness?
Am I sanitizing the Chromebook that I take from class to class enough?
Am I doing a good enough job of hiding my emotions every time a student asks a “what if” scenario that I don’t know how to answer?
Am I being a good model in regards to mask practices?
Am I following every “normal” school policy while also implementing all the pandemic policies?
Are my students getting their basic needs met (adequate food, shelter, etc) on their “at home” days?
Am I the only one who wants to shut off thoughts about the day and enjoy home once there that can’t do it?

I fully realize that sometimes right now it may seem like I don’t care. The truth is the exact opposite. I care so much that it is absolutely exhausting emotionally and mentally (sometimes physically) on a daily basis. I think that’s why I like being home so much and find it fun to engage in virtual activity. It allows me to attempt to forget my cares, which could be interchanged with my worries, for just a fraction of time within the safety of my own home.

So until the pandemic quells, I’m going to do my best to not be like Kermit in the meme as I know no one will ever go for work a day, off a day, work a day, off a day schedule. I’m going to attempt to do my best for others while not neglecting myself, and I’m going to try to be the best me I can be. Wish me luck!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Simple Things

According to the calendar today is Thursday, but in my head it felt more like Monday #3 of the week. I’m sure that I’m not the only one feeling the mental exhaustion associated with “Back to School Covid Edition”. The mental exhaustion seemed to have reached it’s peak this evening when I legit just wanted to sit in my chair and not make any decisions. This level of exhaustion makes things like the pork we were supposed to have for dinner expiring three days ago seem like catastrophes instead of inconveniences. When this level is reached, the best thing I can do is step back and enjoy the simple things in life.

The tone of the day changed completely when I let go of the day’s stress and decided to only do fun, simple things the rest of the evening. The first simple thing was to pour a cold drink (Diet Coke for the win) and sit on the front porch. Until this summer, I never understood why my grandma always found sitting on the front porch to be so relaxing. However, after having sat out there quite a few times over the summer, I’ve realized that it is peaceful to just sit and watch the world around you. I also enjoy waving at people as they go by because it always seems as though they don’t know how to respond. The next simple thing that led to a better today was playing in the rain when the storm broke lose. I held LilKsby tight, and we ran around the house in the rain. My socks were so soaked that they felt as heavy as actual shoes, but it was the most exhilarating, freeing feeling of the day! Nothing can wash your cares away like a warm, summer rain! Then, since it wasn’t quite time for a bath, I held LilKsby while he played with his markers (washable ones thankfully) and colored a kitty. Snuggles and art are a great combination for relaxing! The final simple thing? Breaking out my calendar, making a to do list, and completing it! Now, I’m relaxing in bed to type this blog, and I’m going to be snuggled under the covers before 9:30! Boom!

On paper, none of the simple things that I did this evening seem like much. None of them are based on necessity, and none of them lead to profound revelations about the existence of humankind. However, these simple things did put me in a much better mood which will help me rest easier. On a day that feels like Monday #3, I call that a win!

Check out these links to see items that were part of my simple things!

Starry Night Planner: https://amzn.to/2EGCp5s

Pip Squeaks Markers: https://amzn.to/2Ep6WFm

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Eye of the Hurricane

“In the eye of a hurricane/there is quiet/for just a moment” is the lyric that kept running through my head over and over while I worked on the pictured painting with LilKsby. The lyric is from “Hurricane”, a musical number from Lin Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. During the last few weeks life has kind of felt like a hurricane with so much going on with the pandemic. Businesses and places have reopened, but then they’ve had to close back down. Case numbers had seemingly plateaued, but now there are more cases than ever in certain areas. Masks have gone from being recommended to having to be mandated. On any given day one person can experience so many thoughts and feelings that they feel as though they are constantly living in an emotional hurricane.

Then, there are days where you finally feel like you can breathe; days where you feel like you can finally relax. These are the days when you feel safe from all the distress of the world; these are the days when you just enjoy the life you’ve been blessed with having. These days are the eye of the hurricane for you. Currently, these are the best days! They are days of no anxiety, no doubt, and just experiencing relaxation, contentment, and joy. I think we could all agree that we need more of these days!

So what’s in my eye of the hurricane? Snuggles with LilKsby, cooking for him and Mr Kisby, baking, painting, reading, avoiding social media (that really gets the old anxiety going), exercising, writing, and watching fun videos (lately a lot of Nicholas Brendon’s lives), communicating with family/friends, and focusing on today. My eye of the hurricane is a comfort to me, and with all the uncertainties these days, it’s a good place to spend some time. In my eye of the hurricane, there is love and joy! Even though I know this storm must be weathered, it is good to just be in the moment of quiet sometimes.

What’s in your eye of the hurricane?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Garden Glory

Admit it. You like instant gratification. I’ll admit that I do, and I think this is why I like gardening. I find it very satisfying to get out in the flower bed and tend to it. There’s something especially satisfying about pulling weeds! For me, the satisfaction comes from instantly being able to see a difference between where I’ve started and paused or finished. I love anything where I can visually see progress!

My raised flower bed has been part of our house for seven years. My dad helped us build it, and maintaining it has been a family endeavor. Last year, it went untended because LilKsby was only two weeks old at this time. Needless to say, Mr Kisby and I were a little preoccupied. This year, it’s back to being a family endeavor.

Yesterday, LilKsby watched as I tended the flower bed. I took it as a time to tell him about invasive species which I know technically Morning Glory isn’t, but man it sure takes over! I also told him about sunflowers and my grandma from Kansas. I told him about my grandma from here and how she always had the most beautiful flower beds. He mostly spilled his water all over himself, but I like to think he enjoyed my stories.

Today, I went out by myself while Mr Kisby played with LilKsby. It was therapeutic to be there and taking care of the flower bed in silence. I did my best to clean up around my phlox which has gone wild without uprooting too much of it. I also envisioned a beautiful way to fill more of it since most of the plants are gone. There was something peaceful about being in the flower bed. 🥰

I hope that everyone has something that brings them similar peace!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby