motivation – Page 2 – The Great Kaysby

9:09…Mission Accomplished

Like my turtle? To most people it is simply a cute turtle made from a cute craft kit. For me, this turtle symbolizes the last of my “missions” aka fun goals while I was 41. Every year, I set out to complete a number of fun things equivalent to my age for the year. Looking back on when I started with “33 While 33” I laugh to myself. In the 8 years of doing this little self fun project, I’ve learned a lot of things (in fact, I probably talked about some of these last May 7). Ready for some life lessons 8 years in the making???

Lesson 1: If you continually set goals that you are never actually willing to work towards, then you probably don’t actually want to achieve those goals, or you have not yet had the right motivation for setting said goals. In my 30s, I frequently put, “I want to lose 20 pounds as one of my goals.” Did it happen? Nope. It was one of those goals that I kept regurgitating on paper because “I thought I should.” There was never an actual purpose attached. Now that I’m older and wiser (HA HA), I realize that losing weight is a great goal, but you have to be willing to make the life changes to do so. It wasn’t until three years ago that I actually began taking steps towards being healthier (giving up soda, working to cut out artificial sweetners, increasing activity). Is the 20 pounds gone? Nope. Do I feel better? Yup! Part of that is the habit changes, and the other part of it is realizing that such a big lifestyle change is a daily process and not an “end goal”.

Lesson 2: If you set a goal on a whim, it is okay to make changes if the goal no longer fits your life’s purpose or current situation. A great example of this is one of my original goals was to do yoga on a beach. Sounds great, right? While I love yoga, and I love the beach, taking a beach vacation was not a family priority for us this year. Thus, I changed the goal to be something more in line with our priorities. By allowing myself to change the goal, I was able to achieve something fun and not feel let down for not accomplishing a fun goal!

Lesson 3: Fun goals for yourself do not have to take a lot of time. Some of my goals for this past year took 15 minutes or less to accomplish. When I do this sort of goal making, it isn’t about things that are difficult or take a long time. These goals are all about making time to do things that I enjoy. Side note, if you didn’t do 41 fun things in the last year, take some to add in some fun. Seriously, one of my goals was doing yoga in the backyard. Anyone, can take time to do yoga in the backyard! Highly recommend doing it during the full moon!

Lesson 4: Your fun goals don’t have to make sense to anyone but you. Mine covered a variety of areas from going to a Broadway show (touring of course!), creating art projects, publishing books, doing some family travel, and hiking. There were other things, but I can’t think of them right now, and my journal is in the other room. The point of this exercise is to let yourself have fun by doing things you enjoy!! No one else will ever enjoy the exact same things you do!

Lesson 5: Write about the fun things you’ve done and take pictures if you’re a visual person! It’s a lot of fun to look back at a journal or a photo album at all the fun things you accomplished in a year!

I feel like I could go and on about this year and my fun goals, but I’d really like to drink the rest of my decaf coffee and finish my bowl of watermelon. My challenge to you is this. Think about some fun goals for yourself and begin working on them before your next birthday! You’ll love the result!!!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Face Your Giants

I have always loved to sing. As a child, my parents could locate me out in public because they would hear me singing. I didn’t care who heard me. Moving into teenage and young adult years, I sang a lot of karaoke even one time on stage at Kings Island! But somewhere along the way, I began to believe that I couldn’t sing solo in front of people. I believe it began with auditions for musicals. There was always something terrifying to me about singing a song you barely knew in front of a bunch of other people. Over time the fear became a giant.

Fast forward to becoming a parent. One thing I have noticed is that our children will take on our fears if we aren’t careful. From this I decided that I didn’t want LilKsby to ever feel like he shouldn’t try something fun because it feels a little scary. So I decided that I need to sing a solo and face my giant.

Tonight I did just that! For the first time, I sang two solos as part of our church choir’s Easter Vigil numbers. When I volunteered, I thought the lights would be off when I sang, and that I would only have to go up on stage for one of them. Well, it turned out that the lights were on, and I had to go on stage twice. But guess what? Even with my heart racing, it was great!!! I could picture myself doing it again in the future. 🙂

So how did I face my giant? One, I spent time practicing outside of rehearsals. I practiced with my keyboard and videos. Two, I shared videos of my practicing with those who could provide constructive feedback. Three, I spent a lot of time visualizing how singing in front of everyone would look. Four, I prayed over it…a lot! Was it work? Yes. Was it worth it? YES!

What giant do you need to face?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

A Little Day Musing

Photo by Andrey Grushnikov on Pexels.com

What’s up? What’s on your mind today? I don’t know about you, but I have had a LOT of things on my mind lately. Can anyone else to relate to 2025 feeling like the longest year ever while time has also been flying by? I realize that seems contradictory, but I’m finding it to be very true. Usually, for me this feeling happens when there are a lot of big events happening, but also not a lot in the daily life outside of our normal routine. I like to call it the “hurry up and wait routine.” This is a routine I dislike (it’s like waiting for the other to shoe to drop except the events your waiting for aren’t always negative) because I feel like sometimes it can cause you to miss out on the little things that are happening. One thing I have started doing this year, is recording the little things that bring joy on a piece of paper and putting them in a big vase. At the end of the year when I get retrospective (because don’t we all start doing that for NYE?), I can look back on all the good things that happened. I’m pretty excited about this, and I get excited when I add things to the jar!

Anyway…that’s not exactly what I intended to write, but I guess I needed to let it out. I intended to share some random musings that have been on my mind lately. In my usual fashion, there’s going to be a list! Grab some popcorn, sit back, and enjoy!

Musing #1 – The number of hex keys you have might be directly related to the number of pieces of IKEA furniture you have assembled. It’s really nice of them to always include the hex key, but my toolbag doesn’t need to be a constant reminder of the amount of money that I’ve spent at IKEA over the years! LOL

Musing #2 – I had a great quote shared with me recently. I don’t where it is from, but it says: “Somebody said, “worrying is like worshipping the problem” and wow.” Can we talk about a mic drop quote? As someone who strives to live faith first, but is also a worrier (usually about things out of my control, and yes I have coping strategies in place) this was a big eye opener. So this week, any time I start to worry, I’ve tried to find positive in the situation.

Musing #3 – Sometimes watching people, pets, etc get old really sucks. However, it is a blessing to realize how lucky you are to have people, pets, etc who love you and you love.

Musing #4 – SNL 50 had some hysterical moments! I never really watched a lot of SNL, but I’m glad I checked out some videos. They brought a lot of laughs! I was team MadTV growing up. I still laugh at those skits too!

Musing #5 – Silence isn’t always complacency; silence can be a means of selfpreservation. This one has been on my mind a lot. Some people like to assume that if you’re silent about hot button topics on social media, then you’re secretly for said topic. However, for some of us not constantly engaging in battle via a keyboard is an important means of keeping our shit together. I’ll take good mental health over arguing with people on the Internet any day!!!

Musing #6 – I hope that people are always able to find joy in something. I know not everyone is going to be like me and get super excited about the littlest things, but I hope everyone in the world has something that brings them joy. If the don’t, then I hope they can find it! In case you’re curious, this morning I was excited by a volcano, and this afternoon I’m excited to spend some quality time with my sewing machine. ❤ The other day I got excited about finding a lampshade on sale! Which reminds me that I need to go find a light bulb since the lamp is for my sewing table.

Musing #7 – It’s okay to have a bad day. I feel like a lot of times we don’t give ourselves permission to have bad days. Even though it has been 14 years since my grandmother passed, January 21 can still be a hard day. However, even the worst days can still have positive outcomes. Yes, I lost my grandma on January 21, and I was deeply saddened and still miss her; however, she was finally out of pain that day and at peace which brings me great joy and relief for her. Likewise, having a miscarriage was extremely sorrowful, but it showed me just how much I wanted to be a mama and that my body was capable of the miracle that is creating life. I really believe that loss made me love our Sweet Boy even more!

Musing #8 – I love snow, and I think it is fun that we’ve had so much this winter. However, we have a lot of events in the next couple of weeks, and I’ve started getting some really cool water park ads. So even though I strongly dislike being hot and sweaty, I’m ready to move forward. Thanks for the snow, Mother Nature. But I’m ready to get outside and start enjoying some sunshine!

Musing #9 – Books are cool! For our schooling, we use A LOT of what are called living books. I love learning right alongside LilKsby, and it is really fun to talk about previous books when we’re reading a new book. I also love that he’s gotten hooked on the sweetest series called Heartwood Hotel (they are not paying me to mention it). Additionally, books teach us, provide entertainment, and allow us to go places we never would be able to see! Books rock!

There are my current musings. What are you musing about today?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

What the World Needs Now

To say that a lot has happened in the world in the last 48 hours feels like an immense understatement. I’ve seen a variety of posts since yesterday with various messages regarding the events, and I keep feeling like I’ve wanted to post something. However, a single social media post often doesn’t convey exactly what I want it to say. Plus, people tend to take single posts the wrong way or use them as an excuse to start arguments. To me starting arguments is the exact opposite of what the world needs right now. As I watched Mass this evening, there were four things that came to mind the world currently needs.

First and foremost, the world needs forgiveness. When you live in a world without forgiveness, hearts become hardened. Some people need to forgive others – perhaps a neighbor, friend, or family member for a wrongdoing. They may have committed it, the other party may of committed it, and one of the parties may not even know that the wrongdoing occurred. Yet the weight of the act carries hard on the heart, and the only way to move forward is through forgiving the person. Some people also may need to forgive themselves. Often times we are our own harshest critics, and people need to learn to forgive themselves for the mistakes they made. The person you are today is not the person you were five years ago. Forgive those mistakes so that you can pursue your best life and open up your heart to the blessings that you are meant to have in your life!

Forgiveness leads directly into the second thing the world needs: love. As human beings the greatest thing that we can do is love ALL of our fellow human beings. Now let me clarify something important. You can love someone and not like the choices that they make, the beliefs they hold, etc. There is a good chance that they are making the choices that they do because they don’t feel worthy of love due to some circumstance about which you have no knowledge or because they have never been encouraged to think for themselves. The best human beings to walk the earth have always found ways to love one another. These are the humans that have the greatest and longest lasting impact. I will always support people who lead with love over people who promote hate any day!

The other two things the world needs tie heavily into showing love to one another. First and foremost, the world needs people to be a voice for those who cannot have their voice heard. One of the most important things we can do is give a voice to those who society will not listen to be it because of their age, ability level, gender, socioeconomic background, etc. Giving a voice to them shows that you love people and want to see everyone receive care! While giving a voice to those in need, it is also important to remember that the world needs to not oppress people. If you are speaking words, creating rules/regulations/laws, demonstrating actions that actively prevent people from having equal rights and choices, then you are not loving them. You are dictating what they should and should not be allowed to do, and you are passing on judgment on them. In my book, there is only one who should pass judgment, and He’s not walking among us! Do you know what He does do? Encourage loving all people no matter their race, religion, gender, sexuality, background, etc!

This is a heavy message, but it’s been on my heart, so I wanted to share. To lighten the mood, I’ll quote Burt Bacharach, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just to little of. What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No not just for some, but for everyone.”

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Another Trip Around the Sun

Photo by Sebastian Arie Voortman on Pexels.com

Tonight concludes another trip around the sun! Usually I blog on my birthday about all the great things that have happened in the last year, but this year I’m feeling a little differently – more introspective – about my birthday. Per usual I did have a list of things that I wanted to accomplish in the year, and as per usual as circumstances changed, the list changed. In the end I accomplished 24 of the 40 on the list, and I had a lot of fun throughout the year. However, more important than the fun was the personal growth that I felt came with 40, so I want to share some of my personal growth tips from the last year.

Learn to set boundaries. If you don’t learn to establish boundaries, people will walk all over you. Also, while learning to set boundaries, understand that it is a process not instantaneous.
Learn to do one thing at a time. As much as we all like to multi-task, we can only be fully present with one thing at a time.
Learn to not let the comments people make bother you to the point that you can’t focus. This is hard, but it is important to learn to do in order to avoid driving yourself crazy.
Try something new or something you haven’t done in a long time. There’s a rush that goes with learning or re-trying a skill!
Put down the phone. Boy this is a hard one that I’m trying to improve upon so that my child doesn’t believe it’s necessary to have a phone in front of your nose. When you put down the phone, you will realize how much stress being on it can cause you.
Schedules are not a bad thing. This is a struggle for me because I like to think I’m fun and do things on the fly, but the truth is that I achieve more and get more joy (because of not rushing) when things are scheduled. Plus, I love having things on the calendar to look forward to doing!
Dance like no one is watching! It’s fun!
Sing your heart out! It’s okay if you’re still belting out all of your favorite 90’s and 00’s songs!
Take one on one time with people. It allows you to connect with them on a deeper level and strengthens relationships.
Coffee, tea, and water are the best drinks on the planet! Water might be the most important, but the other two are right up there!
If you want to see change in the world, start by making a small change yourself. It’s really easy to complain about how hateful everyone in the world is, but by modeling kindness to others, you can be part of the solution.
Read a book or listen to an audiobook! There is power in the written word!
Find faith in something. For me it is God; for you it could be a blueberry muffin. I’m not going to judge what you put your faith into, but I can assure you that it is better to have faith in something than not at all.
Get outside! There is healing in nature!
Plan a trip! Then go on that trip. The world is big, and you deserve to see more than the little slice where you reside.
Purging material items that you don’t need is cathartic especially if you find a way to donate or reuse it instead of filling a landfill.
It’s okay to not believe the same things as previous generations. You’re a different person; therefore, it is okay for your viewpoints to be different.
If you influence children, teach them to actually learn things for themselves instead of believing everything they are told.
Stop believing that everything on the Internet or Social Media is true! If you see something that you’re unsure about its validity, do some research before you repost it.
Be proud of the things you have accomplished! They make you special and wonderful! Having a hard time with this? Take 10 minutes and list some of your greatest accomplishments.
Play with Legos. In fact, if you’re an adult, just find ways to play. Having fun will make your life better!
You’re never too old to look the way you want. Have blue hair! Get a nose ring! Do your thing!!!
Follow your dreams! I had always dreamed of writing and publishing, and now Mr Kisby and I have a little thing called Letters & Lore! It’s connected to this page!
Send handwritten notes to people. It takes more effort than a text or FB post, and it shows that you care.
Learn to stop comparing yourself to others. This is super hard and a work in progress, but I can assure you that if you accept who you are, you can achieve greatness!
Eat Zaxby’s. You can thank me later.
Don’t be afraid to try new things. Change might be scary, but it can also be amazing!
Do something you’ve been afraid to try. For me it was getting back on an airplane, but I had the best time last July, and I feel like I became a better person for it. Plus, it helps teach LilKsby to not be afraid.
Walk, run, jog, whatever…just get moving.
Life is short. Eat cake. Then go back to number 29.
It’s okay to stop doing things you no longer enjoy. Set it aside, and you may find that you like it if you try it again down the road.
Tell people your dreams.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help shows strength not weakness.
Relax during the holidays. Don’t get stressed out by trying to make them perfect. Enjoy them.
Unless you have a legit good reason, don’t say “no” to social invitations.
Make sure your cup is full so that you can pour into others.
Get a massage. It’s okay if you start laughing because you’re ticklish.
Always re-evaluate your goals in life. You’ll get further by allowing yourself to change.
Watch a favorite show again especially if you need a laugh!
Don’t wish time away. You can’t get it back.

That’s a lot of tips! I’ve learned a lot at 40, and I am 100% that 41 is going to be even more exciting and freeing! Much love my friends!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

10 Things To Try This Spring

Birds are singing, flowers are blooming, and trees are blossoming with new life! We’ve been waiting for it for what feels like forever even though in reality it was a few weeks, and now Spring is finally here! If you’re like me and thinking what to do this Spring, then this Top 10 list is for you! Presenting…10 Things To Try This Spring!

Take a walk around where you live. This may sound basic but Spring is a great time to see what has changed since you were last able to go for walks in the Summer or Fall. The walk will be relaxing because it is in a familiar setting, and you also might get some inspiration for outside your own home!
Look up a trail nearby that you’ve never hiked and hike it! I love to hike on trails in the Spring and Fall. Of course you have to understand that in Summer, I sweat like it is nobody’s business just walking out the door. So the weather in Spring and Fall makes for my perfect hiking climate. I like to hike in the Spring because you get to see all of the life returning to nature. Plus, it’s usually cool up into the day during the Spring which again prevents sweating!
Splash in some mud puddles! If you live somewhere that it rains a decent amount, go outside after it is finished (or when it is raining) and splash through some puddles. You’re going to get wet, but your shoes will dry, and you can change your socks. There’s a childlike joy that comes with splashing in puddles, and we can all use a little childlike joy.
Go for a country drive! I know gas is pricey, but think about it in comparison to buying a bunch of tickets for something. With that perspective the price isn’t so bad! Since I grew up in the middle of nowhere, I’ve always found country drives on winding roads that are surrounded by fields to be relaxing. Plus, there is something so soothing about having the windows down and jamming out to the radio!
Checkout a State Park! I can’t speak for every state, but where I live there is a great state park system. Most of these have a variety of activities, and typically one can be found relatively close to home. We love to walk along the water and hunt for fossils if the water is down, and we also enjoy relaxing in a cabin.
Plant flowers! I love planting flowers! They instantly beautify your surroundings and perk up your mood. Plus, there are great health benefits when you have house plants. I’ve got my little indoor garden in my office, and it frequently perks me up!
Declutter! Spring cleaning is not fun when you think of it in terms of dusting, washing baseboards, shampooing carpets, etc. However, decluttering can be a lot of fun! There is something refreshing and rewarding about getting rid of items you no longer need and passing them on to someone who can use them!
Plan for the future! What better time to rethink your dream vision of your future than Spring when new life is all around you? Make lists of trips you’d like to take, foods you would like to try, movies you want to see, etc. Anything can be on your list, and don’t be afraid to dream big!!!
Reconnect with people! Do you ever find yourself thinking that you wish you talked to someone more? Reach out to them! Send them a “I was thinking about you, I hope you’re doing well.” It doesn’t have to be a big connection, but it will most likely make them feel important.
Try something new for your health. This can be exercising more, getting a long over do checkup, treating yourself to a massage, changing your eating habits, drinking more water, etc. Improving your health is the key to getting to do everything else on your list!

What would be on your list of 10 Things To Try This Spring?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Literacy a Fun Idea

I cannot take full credit for this idea. I came up with the idea when I saw this post going around social media about a lady asking her husband and kids to buy her 12 books for Christmas and wrap them with a label for each month. This would be like her own Book of the Month club. Of course I saw this after the holiday, but I thought “I can adapt this!” At first I thought I would just adapt it for myself by rewrapping and labeling books I got for Christmas. Then I got to thinking that this could be a great way to get LilKsby to read different books! He loves to read, but a lot of times we end up reading the same 15 or so over and over. So I went to his bookshelf to find books he hasn’t previously shown an interest in reading and a couple new ones we had set aside. Tonight I wrapped them and put a label on each one. Then I put them all in a shoebox so that it looks a treasure chest. I cannot wait for him to see this box and be excited to unwrap a book each month!

So why am I sharing this here? As I wrapped them, I thought this could be a great way to encourage kids who do not like reading to pick up a book. It could also be a fun way for teachers to introduce a book each month to their class. Participate in summer reading? The same idea could be applied just for summer. This is “literacy” a fun idea for all ages!

Happy reading!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Not So Routine

What part of your routine do you always try to skip if you can?

Good news! If you don’t have a consistent routine, you can’t always try and skip something. Bad news! If you don’t have a consistent routine, then you tend to go into surviving not thriving mode. For me the biggest takeaway from this question is the need to establish and follow a routine period.

I have great intentions when it comes to having a routine. However, there’s two obstacles that tend to get in my way. One, if I get invited to do something fun, I have a hard time saying no even if it goes against original plans. Two, when there are only loosely established plans, I tend to throw in as many things as possible. This just leads to chaos. Along with both of these I’m also easily distracted by becoming hyper focused on things that aren’t important.

So, I suppose my answer to today’s daily question is when I establish and follow a routine, I’ll let you know what I skip!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Secret to a Balanced Parent Life

When you become a parent, one of the things that modern society likes to imply is that you can easily balance everything in your life. There is the implication of you can work full time, feel like a stellar parent, have plenty of time for a romantic life, and so on and so forth. Here’s the truth and the secret to my seemingly so well balanced parent life: the idea that you can have it all in equal proportion is pure BS.

Think of it from a mathematical standpoint. If you are trying to balance 4 things equally in a 24 hour period, then you have to be able to devote six hours to each one of those things. Wait! You have necessities that have to be done such as sleeping, eating, and showering. Suppose those take 8 hours per day. That leaves you with 16 hours per day which would allot only 4 hours for each of those things. If you only applied 4 hours a day to your job, your boss would probably get irritated with you pretty quickly especially if they are paying you for 8 hours per day. While this isn’t a perfect example, do you see why you can’t equally balance your priorities?

This is where prioritizing the things that are important to you comes into play. If you’re rolling your eyes because you’re thinking well she’s a work from home mom, so this is easy for her to do, I ask you to take a moment and reflect on what’s preventing you from having an open mind. Having an open mind about your priorities is actually a key to finding balance. For you to find balance as a parent, one of the things you have to think about is what your priorities truly are. Obviously, a main priority is being able to provide financially for ones family. I think most everyone would agree on that. But what are your priorities after that? Do you put keeping a clean house over playing with your child? Do you put making coffee with your SO every night above sitting down and watching TV by yourself while they are in another room? Do you make it a priority to go on dates with your SO even if you’ve been married for a long timed? Once you decide on what the priorities are that will make you feel balanced and complete, then you can move on to implementing your balanced life as a parent.

For me, balance comes from having a Six Most Important things to do list every day. I actually divide my list in order of my priorities which tend to be Faith, Family, Work from Home, and Me Time. If you find that there is little or no fun in your life, then I highly recommend you invest in the Me time. Life is short, so you need to have fun! After looking at those things, I put what the most important thing is that needs to happen for each. Usually Faith has something like prayer, read a religious or spiritual text, and silent reflection. Family has things like School (we homeschool and try to spend at least two hours a day on lessons), Daily Chores (I have specific chores assigned to specific days of the week), and then any other errands that need to be done (call and schedule this appointment, go to the park, etc). The other two totally depend on what I’m doing at the time for those tasks. Sometimes my Work from Home says tutor while other times it is tasks for my DS business. One night a week it is designing journals for Letters & Lore (thegreatkaysby.com/letters-lore). My Me Time has been known to have things like paint, watch a movie, play video games, shave your legs, and paint your nails. Both of those are reflective of what is happening at the time. Does everything get done on my list each day? Nope. Shit happens. Sometimes you don’t find yourself able to get everything done. So how can that still make you feel balanced? Circle it and put it at the top of tomorrow’s list!

The last part of my secret to balanced parent life is to listen to your child(ren). This one is something I’m working to improve as I can feel easily overwhelmed and shutdown when things don’t go exactly as planned. However, your little one won’t remember that they went to bed while there was dirty dishes in the sink. They will remember that you had dinner late because the family took time to play a board game together. Likewise, they won’t remember that you didn’t vacuum this week. They will remember that you took two hours to play outside or spent time decorating the house for a holiday together. Along the same lines, they won’t remember that your car had peanut butter crackers smashed in the floorboard. They will remember the trips to the playground, going on hikes, and driving around to look at the changing leaves. Learning to listen to my child has been one of the best ways to find balance as a parent. By the way, this is also applicable to your SO. Listen to them and their cues both verbal and non-verbal. They need you too!

So there you go. Call it “Tip Tuesday” or just some general life advice, whatever you want to call it. Take the advice or leave it. But know that I didn’t do everything on my to list today because this seemed more important to share. I’ve long been told we teach on what we need to learn, so maybe I needed this more today than completing a list.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Expert Mode

I love Jigsaw Puzzles. I’ve enjoyed putting together puzzles for as long as I can remember. Over the years, I’ve completed easy ones, difficult ones, ones with missing pieces, etc. Recently I’ve gotten into solving puzzles online. These are challenging because they are timed and have various degrees of difficulty: easy, normal, and expert. I had been sticking to easy and some normal, but yesterday I tried expert. When I solved it, I thought of how puzzles are a metaphor for life.

Think about it. How many of us whether it is intentional or not find ourselves living our lives on easy mode? After all, easy mode is the one that takes the least effort while providing satisfactory, adequate outcomes. Even those of us who have big dreams can find ourselves stuck in easy mode from laziness, fear, etc. Until we get unstuck and switch to expert mode, our dreams will never become a reality.

So how do we switch? For me it is a lot of telling myself things like “short term sacrifice for long term gain” and “work hard so you can play hard” coupled with extreme planning! When I’m in expert mode, I plan like a maniac. At this point I’m great at the planning, but often the execution lands me back in easy mode. It’s not because I don’t want to be in expert mode and experiencing abundant success; it’s because I get inside my own head and shutdown.

Getting inside my head is my biggest issue with success in my Direct Selling business. Sometimes that mindset finds its way into other things like solving the puzzle on expert mode. I almost didn’t try expert mode because I was sure I would fail, but a little voice inside my head convinced me to try. After all with a puzzle online, if I failed I could just try again. Then I got to thinking. This is also true of the path to success in life. It is better to stumble, fall, and get back up than to not even try.

The conclusion? It’s time to try expert mode in a variety of things not just puzzles!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Spectrum of Sparkle

Photo Credit: The Great Kaysby

Most people have heard of the concept called the “Circle of Control.” Within this concept there is a circle in the middle of a blank space. Inside the circle is written things that you can personally control, and outside of the circle is written the things that you cannot control that cause you stress. For example, you can control if you go out and check the mail so that would be on the inside of the circle. However, you cannot control what shows up in your mailbox on a given day so that would be on the outside of the circle. These examples are trivial in comparison to most of life’s stressors, but you get the concept.

The concept of the “Circle of Control” is something I try to remind myself of a lot. At times I can have a tendency to get overly emotional about things that are completely out of my control. (Keep in mind I’m not talking about tragic kinds of things.) When this happens, I try to remind myself of the circle, but I have found that there are a couple of flaws with it. The biggest is that I am part of a generation where we were very much as a whole taught to never show emotion or ask for help because these are perceived as signs of weakness. Which I now realize might be the kind of thought process that made me prefer to get bad grades as opposed to ask for help in Calculus. Anyway, getting away from this line of thought to a more healthy one isn’t easy, but it has become a goal for me as I want to be a good example for LilKsby.

So I got to thinking…what if instead of a “Circle of Control” there is a “Spectrum of Sparkle”? Why a spectrum? Because I have realized that there are a lot of things in my life that have aspects I can control while also having aspects that rely on others. With the circle concept, the two are completely separate. However, I’ve come to believe that the biggest success to emotional control lies on a spectrum where you find balance between knowing what you can control and learning to cope with what you can’t as opposed to being told to just let it go. On the “Spectrum of Sparkle” you could start by listing various aspects of your life such as faith, family, friends, you, and avenues of income. Then you could list under that the things that you have complete control over such as silent mediation time, your family chores, your daily habits, etc. Beneath those you could list the things that are partially in your control but also not. These would be things like you can control what days you go to the grocery pickup, but you can’t control how long it will take to get your order. Just knowing what these things are can help you know how to cope with them which can lead to better emotional management. Finally, list the things that are totally out of your control. These can be things that are obviously out of your control like “I can’t control the weather,” or they can be things that are personal like, “I can’t let how someone reacts to my decision ruin how excited I am about it.” One of the hardest lessons to learn for people like me who are super easily excitable is that not everyone is going to be excited as you are and as happy about something as you are. You also have to learn that you cannot control other people. You have to let people live their lives how they want even when you (a) think you know better for them or (b) disagree with their decisions. You can 100% love someone and not agree with everything they do. That’s called being a Golden Rule person.

Now that I’ve answered “why a spectrum?” I feel the need to answer “why of sparkle?” Well for one I like sparkly things. Two, the things that we get the most passionate and upset about are usually the things that make us sparkle and shine inside and out. It’s also important to know that those things can take an emotional toll on us, and we should recognize that even things that make us sparkle have parts that our out of our control. Until the next time!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Shoot for the Moon

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among stars” is a quote often attributed to Norman Vincent Peale. When you Google it, a lot of people have said the quote and fully determining its origin seems rather impossible From time to time, I have even said this quote when speaking with people. In fact, one year when I was still teaching, I had this quote on my classroom door as an attempt to motivate students to do their best. Along with me other great minds like those of Oscar Wilde, Brian Littrell (the recent Savannah Bananas intro is a sure sign of his genius), Mary Kay Ash, and Les Brown have said this same quote at some point in their respective careers. Since the first time I heard this quote, I have loved that it is so simplistic while at the same time being extremely deep. To think that if you try your hardest, even if you come short of the goal, you will have had so much success in the process!

Lately I have been wanting to blog a lot, but I have found that I haven’t had a lot of deep, meaningful pieces of wisdom to share. Instead of just blogging anyway which could have lead to inspirational pieces, I’ve been doing a lot of other activities. Some of the activities were just for fun like summer vacation, visits with friends, a road trip to IKEA (when the nearest one is three hours away, traveling there totally counts as a road trip), amusement park trips, and more. However, other activities have been like shooting for the moon and landing among the stars. These are the activities that took some getting out of my comfort zone, time, and effort; these are the activities that are life changing.

The first activity that was life changing involved the State Fair. If you’ve read my blog since 2018, then you know that I have always enjoyed the State Fair for the food. What you may not have known is that I have always dreamed of entering the competitions at the State Fair. I’ve talked about it for years, and for years I never did anything about it. This year – as part of my mission to be more fearless at forty than ever before – I finally entered the State Fair. I shot for the moon by entering two photos, five scrapbook pages, and two sewing pieces. One of the photos advanced to the final round of judging, and one of the sewing pieces placed second in the category. More importantly than the outcomes from the judges, were the outcomes that I felt from landing among the stars. Just from finally entering the State Fair, I was reminded of just how much I enjoy my various hobbies. I find them relaxing, and I find that I love creating. Seeing pieces come together to create a whole when you are working on a project is so satisfying! If you’re an artisan, you know exactly what I mean. The biggest star from finally entering? It made me want to do more next year! In fact, I’ve already started planning some pieces. For someone with time management and organization issues, this planning “star” might just be the most important takeaway I could have from finally entering!

My second life changing activity has to do with overcoming fear of not being in control. Back story here, you have to understand that I have always said that I hate flying and am afraid of it. Some of this was probably rooted in the fact that my first flight when I was twelve was in one of those like three passenger planes. It was a short trip, but the plane shook a lot and though the views were cool, the overall experience was terrifying. It took me another twelve years to get back on a plane, and when I did, I realized that flying wasn’t as bad as I had made it out to be. However, I still did not like it. I just always felt safer driving myself than trusting my life to a pilot that I’ve never met. This summer after another 16 years, I got on a plane again. I wasn’t overly thrilled by it, and at times leading up to the travel, I was sure that something was going to go horrifically wrong. However, I knew that taking a plane trip was going to be the only way that I could attend a business conference while minimizing the time away from home. On some levels the fact that I was even willing to book the flight was like landing among the stars before the trip even occurred!

Fast forward to the trip occurring. When I booked my flights, I purposefully booked aisle seats so that I wouldn’t have to look out the window. I thought this might help me to be able to pretend that I was in a car or on a train instead of flying in a plane. For the majority of the flight there, I kept trying to look out the window. So on my way back, I actually switched my seat to a window seat. Guess what? I was mesmerized the entire flight home! The world looked so beautiful from the plane! Also, I know it sounds cliché, but I felt so close to Heaven and calm while flying. I felt like this trip finally made me feel at peace with flying, and I look forward to what doors this willingness will open for me! I’m so thankful that instead of landing on moon by staying in my driving comfort zone, I landed among stars and now feel like I can do anything!

Finally, one recent final activity has been like landing among stars. For as long as I can remember, I have had an interest in writing and journaling. Shocker right that someone who blogs would be interested in these things? I’ve also always wanted to somehow find a way to publish some of my original ideas. I’ve not really wanted to make a lot of money of it, but I always thought it would be cool to see something I contributed to in print. Through a collaboration with Letters & Lore (checkout the new page on my site about them), I am getting to do just that! I’m not sure what will come of it, but just the learning process has been fun. Even if we don’t make it to the moon, the stars we’re landing among are amazing!

Wow! I wrote a lot more about this than I thought I would, and it is getting late. I have an early class tomorrow (side note, taking free classes has also led to star like growth), and I should try and get some rest. I hope this inspires you to shoot for the moon, but if nothing else, this blog is getting me back in the groove!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

10 Things I Love About Me

As part of a leadership class I am taking, I’m starting a 30 day challenge of Daily Journal Prompts. This is outside of my usual realm, but I’m excited for the challenge!

Prompt 8 – List 10 things you love about yourself.

I love this prompt! Not because I love to talk about myself although sometimes I do it a little too much, but because I think listing things you love about yourself is a great mental health exercise. Over the years I’ve used a similar exercise to this prompt for therapeutic reasons, and I highly recommend everyone do it! Here goes my list!

1. I love my creativity and expressing it through painting, sewing, scrapbooking, coloring, and writing.

2. I love my ability to get lost in a book. Books can take you to another world, inform you, and inspire you!

3. I love my head – like all of it. My hair has always made me happy as have my eyes and smile.

4. I love my ability to burst out into song at random moments whether it is with a made up song or one I half know the lyrics to.

5. I love my tendency to be easily excited and enthusiastic about the littlest things!

6. I love my caring spirit and how much taking care of others feeds my soul. It’s important to be a servant leader.

7. I love my ability to teach people a variety of skills in a variety of areas.

8. I love my ability to work hard and get things done when I put my mind to accomplishing something.

9. I love my love of water. I feel most at peace when water is involved be it a shower, pool, rain, lake, etc.

10. Most of all I love being able to live by my priorities: faith, family/friends, living by the Golden Rule, and then career. The two greatest roles in my life are wife and mother, and I do my best to up hold that calling.

I challenge everyone to make their own 10 list!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Power of 12

Last night I was watching Mass, and the priest talked about the work of Chuck Colson. I had never heard his name before – an apparent neglect of my schooling as he was part of Watergate – though I found myself very intrigued by the story. Colson had an idea for helping people change their lives, so in the late 70s he did an experiment with 12 people. They were to stay in a prison for an amount of time and live like inmates. I don’t know all the details, but the experiment’s success led to the development of the Prison Fellowship program. Those 12 people were the root of starting a movement for 25,000+ people who have now been positively served by Prison Fellowship.

After hearing this, I asked myself “What else can be associated with the power of 12?”

Obviously, for Christians the 12 apostles led the foundation for the development of the church. Another obvious answer would be there are 12 months in a year a time frame during which great meaningful change can occur. For those in my direct sales field, sharing the career with 12 people in a calendar year earns a level of awards recognition. This one really got me thinking as it made me wonder how many people can I positively impact by sharing my career that aligns with my personal priorities through blessing 12 people? I doubt it will be 25,000, but it might be 250. Imagine how many blessings could be spread by 12 people with kind hearts and fair intentions!

What do you think about the power of 12?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

What’s In Your Cup?

There are many adages similar to “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” I’m not sure where I first heard the phrase given that it is a message stated in a variety of situations, but that is an insignificant detail. I have always found that it is a very true sentiment. In my own experience, I believe that you cannot give to others if your own cup is not filled. However, I have recently decided that perhaps it isn’t just an empty cup that keeps you from pouring into others, but also what is in your cup that keeps you from truly being able to bless others.

Most of us are familiar with people being deemed “glass half full” or “glass half empty,” but no one ever seems to stop and talk about what is in the cup. For example, is it better to be a glass that is half full with spite or a glass half empty where the half is hope? I would think that being filled with any amount of hope would be better than being filled with any amount of spite. Should my cup be full of spite, then I feel like I would inadvertently say things that came out hurtful or negatively impact a situation whereas if my cup is full of hope, I can share that hope with others and brighten someone’s day. I really believe that whether your cup is half full or half empty, what is in your cup will determine whether or not you can positively give to others.

So my closing thought is this. If you feel like what is in your cup is keeping you from blessing others the way you would like, take some time to wash, dry, and refill your cup with a new liquid so to speak!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby