"My soul is full of longing for the secret of the sea, and the heart of the great ocean sends a thrilling pulse through me." – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Do you want to know the secret to happiness? With the caveat that I’m exhausted from last night’s insomnia (see the previous blog), I will tell you a secret to happiness. Are you ready? Here goes…
The secret to happiness is to realize it is okay for the things that bring you happiness to change.
As I write this, I’m lying on bed with LilKsby while he plays educational games on Mr Kisby’s phone. Normally, it doesn’t bring me happiness for him to play on phones because I believe there is a link between screen time and attention span length (I’m a mama not a scientist, so I could be wrong). However, on a day like today when I could go to bed before bath time, it brings me great happiness to just relax with him next to me. On a normal day this might make me feel reminiscent of a sloth, but not today!
This example of day to day happiness variance is not typical; however, it is reminiscent of how what brings us happiness changes throughout life. If you think back on your lifetime, I bet there are things you can think of that used to bring you happiness that no longer do or you’ve simply out grown. For example, Barbies brought me happiness from like 5 to 12. Do I wish Barbies still made me happy? Nope, but I’m glad I enjoyed them and the creativity they fostered while I did!
From about 19 to 29, a game called Amtgard brought me a lot of happiness (along with some headaches literally and figuratively). It’s been almost a decade since I’ve been active with it because it became more of a habit than an activity of happiness. However, I’m EXTREMELY thankful for the time that it brought me happiness and the skill is learned while playing. (Side note, it was stress relieving to get to legally hit people with foam sticks!) Today, I am ABUNDANTLY blessed by the husband and friendships that came from it. Guess what? They still make me happy!
Likewise some of the things I never knew would bring me happiness when I was younger have brought me more joy than I ever could’ve imagined. I am an only child, and I was never around babies much growing up. From this experience, I was sure that I never wanted kids. That is until I met my husband, and I got to see how cool kids were with our niece and nephews. This led to me finding out at 36 that being LilKsby’s mama brings me more happiness than I ever knew possible!
And there you have it. The secret to happiness is realizing that it is okay for the things that bring you happiness to change. So if you find yourself not enjoying something like you used to enjoy it, I challenge you to try something new. Read, paint, start a blog, plan a vacation, start a side hustle…invest in yourself and make time for happiness! Most of all, if you agree with me, pass the secret to happiness on to someone!
It’s been a while since I’ve blogged (April, I think), and it’s been a while since I’ve listened to the song of the same name! I had a goal of blogging more regularly, but that goal didn’t really work out. Why? I haven’t had writer’s block if that’s what you’re thinking. There have been plenty of things that I’ve wanted to write about on my blog. However, with the way things have been in the world, I feel like a lot of the things on my mind would have just led to arguments with readers. Confrontation and arguing are not on my list of favorite things to do, so I’ve kept my thoughts to myself.
That said…deep breath…here’s a little glimpse into what has been on my brain…
Thought 1 – The pandemic is still rearing it’s ugly head! After what seemed like some relief and a calm down in the spring, Delta is dominating the end of summer. If you had asked me in May, I would have told you that I really thought things would be close to “normal” by now. Sadly, I’m wrong and it seems like things are once again going to get worse before they start to stabilize and climb back to “normal”.
Thought 2 – Simone Biles is a hero! She is legit the Greatest Of All Time, and I’m so proud of her putting her mental health first and withdrawing from the Olympic competitions. Simone knew that she could physically hurt herself if she competed, and she made a point of preventing that from happening and prioritizing her mental well being. In the course of this decision, other Team USA members have earned medals that may not have done so. Simone has also brought light to an area that needs lots of awareness: mental health awareness! Did I mention that she deals daily with ADHD and the trauma of sexual abuse? Simone Biles is AMAZING!
Thought 3 – Masks…once I was fully vaccinated, I didn’t know how I would feel about wearing a mask in public still. I went in public a few times without one, and it turns out that I still like masking up. One of the reasons I still like it is because LilKsby isn’t eligible for a vaccine yet. Keeping him safe from the pandemic is still a top priority. Another reason I still like masking up is because I don’t want to inadvertently carry the virus to someone else. Also, breakthrough infections are becoming more and more prevalent. Plus, my mask is kind of a security blanket. It’s kept me safe for over a year, so it’s hard to just take off and leave behind. This is my feeling about masks, and I realize that everyone has their own opinions. All I ask is that you not bully me over my mask.
Thought 4 – Travel…I miss travel! We stayed in a cabin at a state park for a weekend back in May, and it was amazing! Since then we haven’t gone anywhere overnight. We did go the aquarium, IKEA, and Jungle Jim’s on a daytrip, but otherwise we’ve stayed in our little area. Part of my missing travel is to keep looking at future vacation options. I’ve got all kinds of travel plans in my head! I just need to hit the lottery and have the pandemic get under control so that I can feel safe to go!
Thought 5 – The best part about summer break is being home with my little family! I love all of the little things we get to do throughout the day. I love snuggles! I love art time! I love library time! I love sleeping later than usual! I love not having to eat fast because of 20 minute lunch breaks! Summer break is amazing!!! Back to school blues are for real because even though my school life is fun, my mama/wife/family life is always my number one! Another reason I need to win the lottery? Every day could be like summer break!
Wow! That’s a lot of thoughts! Getting them out in writing is very therapeutic and freeing for the mind. I hope that none of my words have offended anyone, and I hope that the posts will become more frequent! I’ve missed blogging!
As another Spring Break comes to a close, there are a multitude of thoughts swirling through my head. Like so many times when this happens, I feel like the best thing to do is attempt to sort them out in writing. Why do it in a blog? Because I’m sure if I’m thinking these things, there is someone else out there who can relate.
Thought 1 – On any given day, you can be both the “picture perfect” mama and “a chicken with her hair on fire” mama. Yesterday, I was the mama who takes the family to the Farmer’s Market in order to shop local and organic. That’s helping other families financially while helping the health of my family! We also did our grocery pickups because we meal plan like champs (even though often the plan gets tweaked midweek when a frozen pizza us substituted into the lineup). Then, we napped for three hours, woke up just in time for bath time, and the realization that we never had dinner. That’s when you go to Dominos in your pajamas with a messy bun and allow your toddler to eat greasy pizza way too late at night while staying up way past their bedtime! This was a great contrast to the “picture perfect” me who had taken the toddler to the library twice earlier in the week, taught him about gardening and growing our own vegetables, and the importance of family outings on nature trails and to the zoo! Spoiler alert, with all that teaching of good things, I may have relied on McDonalds and Burger King a little too much this week! Why both? Because one has $1 drinks and good fries, and the other has Whoppers.
Thought 2 – Flexibility is a way of life. I had these great ambitions of a “self spa” day where I was going to color my hair, do a charcoal mask, and paint my nails. All of these are great thoughts, but when you take a three hour nap while snuggling a toddler who then goes to bed two hours late, the thoughts stay thoughts. For a minute, I was kind of upset about it, then I realized that at least I got a shower and to pluck my eyebrows (they were pretty unsightly…not to mention a dead giveaway that I color my hair when they are thicker). Sometimes it’s the little things that make you smile!
Thought 3 – Does it ever become easier to go back rib work after breaks? Don’t get me wrong. I like my job, but I LOVE being a wife and mom. After a whole week of just getting to be a wife and mom, it is really hard to go back to both. As much as you try, it is really hard to be fully there for both. I’m sure I’m not the only person who has thoughts such as “Did I take the chicken out for dinner?” and “Did I switch the baby’s laundry out?” while at work. Likewise, at home during wife/mom time sometimes I can’t help but think about things that happened at work that day especially if something didn’t get finished that I wanted to complete. Once I get back into the swing of both, it’s always fine. There’s just always that dread the day before returning since it requires sacrificing time with those you love most.
Thought 4 – Why are people so quick to change their tunes based on popular opinions even when they are founded in misconceptions? Just a year ago, the general public was celebrating teachers for their flexibility and quick ability to adapt to non-traditional methods of providing instruction. People were actually talking about how teachers deserved higher pay! Now, some of the same public acts like teachers are horrible, selfish human beings because they put their own families needs first and/or have been anxiety ridden by all the pandemic protocols. FYI…this school year has required more work than any other year in order to meet the needs of all students.
My random thoughts might not make a lot of sense; however, they are a little more sorted out! Just like I knew they would be. 😊 I hope that whatever random thoughts you’re having tonight, you can sort them out too.
Photo from Dominic Hernandez’s FAST FACTS: MATERNITY LEAVE POLICIES ACROSS THE GLOBE
They say you should advocate for what you’re passionate about and attempt to make a change. Since having LilKsby in 2019, I’ve wanted to advocate for better paternity leave in our country. This week, I got a wild hair, and decided to contact my state legislators asking them to do something about improving parental leave. The next day a co-worker sent me a Tweet saying the Louisville Metro Council approved paid parental leave for city employees for twelve weeks following the birth or adoption of a child. Their approval was unanimous! City of Louisville employees are very lucky that the Louisville Metro Council has their back on parental leave. Many people in the United States aren’t so lucky.
Until having LilKsby, I didn’t know much about parental leave. All I knew of it had come from working in the Personnel Department before taking the job I have now. Based on that experience, I assumed that it was the norm to give new mothers six weeks of leave (eight weeks for a C-section) and require the mothers to use either a combination of sick and personal days if they wanted to get paid (and were lucky to have 30-40 to cover the time) or take leave without pay. I had never had reason to look into the policy of other places, so foolishly I made a presumption that this was just how it was everywhere. SHAME ON ME! One should never make presumptions!
My first taste of better parental leave came from Mr Kisby’s job at the time. He was provided with quite the combination of fully and partially paid leave, and he did not have to use any of his vacation time! I was shocked when he told me how good of parental leave his employer provided. His was so good that when you added his time and my time together, LilKsby didn’t have to go to a babysitter until he was three and a half months old!
Since our experience with parental leave, I’ve found myself frequently thinking about the parental leave provided around the world. Did you know that “the United States is the only high-income country, as classified by the World Bank, that does not have paid maternity leave” (Hernandez)? Yes, the United States has employers who provide paid parental leave; however, there is no federally mandated parental leave for births or adoptions. FMLA does cover 12 weeks of unpaid leave for new parents, but the only thing that helps with is securing a position to return to after the time is up. Anyone who has ever had a baby or adopted a child knows that there are A LOT of expenses incurred during parental leave. Unless you’ve been saving for a long time or are willing to rack up debt, going unpaid for 12 weeks is not a viable option for many people.
Here’s another fun thing I learned while on maternity leave with LilKsby that I never knew. Did you know that the recommendations of pediatricians is that babies should not be going out in public until after they’ve had their first vaccinations at 8 weeks old? I didn’t know that! I found it very interesting that pediatricians make this recommendation, yet employers force parents to put their children in daycare at 6 weeks old (or younger) by not paying the new parents beyond that point. Something doesn’t add up with that math!
I can also speak from my own experience that six weeks (or eight weeks in my C-section having case) is not enough for a lot of babies to start breastfeeding consistently and correctly. Our journey was 10 1/2 weeks to achieve accurate breastfeeding. If I hadn’t have been able to fenagle 11 weeks of leave because of summer break and skipping workshops, then we never would’ve achieved the breastfeeding success that I knew would provide the best health for my baby.
I fully realize that not everyone in the world will ever need parental leave. However, I guarantee you that everyone will have a friend or family member that needs to use parental leave at some point. That said, I think it is time that we (everyone who comes across this and all of their family and friends) advocate for better parental leave in this country. America loves to say they are the best at everything, so it is time to make that a reality when it comes to parental leave. I encourage all of my readers to do some research, write to their legislators, and take action to help encourage improvement in the area of parental leave!
I’ll put my soapbox away now. I love you and good night!
Today, I got a “Shot of Hope”! I got my second dose of the Covid vaccine! When I got the first one in February, there was a since of relief that the light at the end of the tunnel was getting brighter. Now that I’ve had the second dose, I’m filled with hope!
I am filled with hope to hug people outside of my household soon.
I have hope that friends who haven’t seen their parents and grandparents since last March will get to see them soon.
I have hope that Mr Kisby will be able to get it soon along with all of our loved ones!
I have hope to see people in person that I haven’t felt comfortable visiting since last March.
I have hope that LilKsby will get to safely have play dates.
I have hope to be able to travel without worry so we can show LilKsby the world.
I have hope that we will start hearing more and more survival stories than stories of death or other long term impacts.
I have hope from the “Shot of Hope” that a brighter future will be here in the next few months.
Frankly, it feels AMAZING to have so much hope! For so long it seemed like there was not light at the end of the tunnel; it seemed like the pandemic was never going to come to a state of control (a true end still seems like an impossibility). There was a time when it seemed like we were never going to see people outside of our household or travel ever again. Those times were hard, so to have hope again is an extraordinary feeling!
I hope this extraordinary feeling keeps going; I hope that I can keep from getting brought down by those who don’t share my hope. Believe me, I understand that there are people who do not want to get the vaccine. I understand that there are people who have not been as cautious as me and my family have been. I understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, whether I agree or not, in any situation. As someone who understands, all I ask is that you don’t rain on my parade of hope. For me, the vaccine gives me hope for a better tomorrow…in a couple of weeks when it’s reached the max level of effectiveness!
Once again it is time to say good-bye to summer as we return to school. No matter what your stance is on returning to school, I believe we can all agree that this has been the most bizarre summer of our lifetimes (unless your over 102 and can remember the Spanish Flu Pandemic of 1918). Never before have we had to consider social distancing rules when going to the grocery store; never before have we had to remember to always have a mask with us so that we can be sure to follow mandates. We’ve experienced the closure of summer activities like swimming at public pools, the switch from in person to virtual summer camps, and the cancellation of favorite parts of summer such as vacations. You always hear about how summer can change people, and I think that is more true of this summer than anyone that I’ve ever faced.
For some of us, change is a very hard thing especially when it comes to personal growth as often times personal growth is difficult. In my own life, this summer has taught me to not be afraid to stand up for my beliefs. As someone who doesn’t necessarily like confrontation, this can be very difficult. However, I’ve realized that my beliefs are important, and when I don’t let them be heard, then it impacts me internally in a negative way. This summer has also taught me that sometimes you need to tell people no even though you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Again, as someone who likes to make everyone happy, this is a difficult task. However, I’ve discovered that if you’re always a “Yes Man”, then you’re denying taking care of yourself in the process. Self care is very important! I’ve always said that if you don’t take care of yourself, then you can’t be your best self for everyone else. That’s been very true this summer!
Another key part of this summer has been the difficulty of learning how to deal with the unknown. This is the hardest for me. While I may not necessarily like to have everything planned to a T, I do like having the ability to be in control of situations. (Which is why I like to drive instead of be the passenger.) During this pandemic, there has been very little over which I’ve truly had control. I can’t control mandates; I can’t control the actions of other people; I can’t control the impact of the virus. What I can control is my response to all of those things. There have been days when my response is crying and feeling sick because of the things I cannot control. There have been other days when I’ve been able to lose myself in fun things and enjoy each moment. Most days, a combination of both happens. Thankfully, I’ve got a great circle that loves me on all the days!
As we enter the last four days before teachers have to report to school, it would be really easy to have four of the rough days. However, my plan is to immerse myself in the fun moments because come Monday, I really have no control over what happens. If the weather holds, then this means four days of splash pad time with LilKsby, reading on my Kindle, painting, and finding some activities to look forward to throughout the rest of the year (this is always a mood helper for me).
As we go into the unknown of the school year, I know I’m going to have to keep working on dealing with the unknown. I also plan to keep standing up for my beliefs, and I plan to keep being okay with saying no. One thing this summer has taught me is that LilKsby observes a lot of what Mr Kisby and I do. I want him to observe positive changes in us that he will embrace in his own life as he grows up.
It’s Monday, August 3, and after four fun filled days, my Twitch channels I followed are all offline, I’ve only gotten one Discord notification, and I found myself asking Siri to roll a D20 because I was having gaming withdrawals. For those of us in the gaming world, today’s the Monday after Gen Con (aka “the best four days in gaming”) and we’re all feeling like something is missing. To those of you not in the gaming world, Gen Con is a four day convention that typically happens every year in Indy. During the convention, attendees can game pretty much 24 hours a day and participate in more events than the mind can comprehend. However, like a lot of conventions, this year Gen Con Indy became Gen Con Online because of Covid-19. Brace yourself…the following is my review of Gen Con Online.
Hedgehog Hop on the Sovranti App
Sensational Sovranti – Hands down the best part of the weekend was playing Sushi Go, Hedgehog Hop, and Truck Off on the Sovranti App. Sovranti was there running games online because after two and a half years of work the app is about to go into Beta. Sovranti wanted to let Gen Con Online attendees try it out in order to get some early feedback. Great news? They started taking that feedback and immediately fixing bugs in the app. Problems I had on Thursday were not encountered during my events on Saturday and Sunday! An additional bonus? The Sovranti folks were AMAZING! Huge shoutouts to Dani and Jason for their awesome GM-ing and friendliness! By the end of the weekend, Dani knew who I was by my voice. That’s pretty awesome! They also had a GM named Mark who was phenomenal! He ran my session of Hedgehog Hop, and he just happened to be the artist who designed all of the illustrations for the game!
Excellent and Not So Excellent Events – At any con there is the potential for events to be excellent. Some of my most excellent events for Gen Con Online were the seminars on teaching and gaming in the classroom! I’ve always wanted to attend Trade Day at Gen Con Indy, but I’ve either been in school already or at Professional Development. Thus, I was very happy to get to do some of these seminars. The one with Kathleen and Catherine was AWESOME! There was also a fun game called Trophies from Facade Games that was a fun event! I also have to give Facade Games props for working through technical difficulties and not giving up! Unfortunately, there were some not so excellent events. Also, a bit of advice: if you’re going to run a game or give a seminar, whether it is in person or online, you need to have more personality than a blueberry muffin. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some blueberry muffins! However, if you’re trying to hold my attention for more than five minutes then you’ve got to have some charisma. Also, a problem with solely Gen Con Online has to do with motion sickness. There are certain video game camera angles that make me sick. The entire time I was doing a demo on Tabletopia, I thought I was going to get sick. After the demo, I had to go take Extra Strength Tylenol in order to make it through the rest of the evening.
The Looking Glass
Exhibition Hall – One of my favorite parts of the Gen Con experience is the Exhibition Hall. At Gen Con Indy, within the Exhibition Hall there are crammed over 500 booths with artists, authors, and game companies. The Exhibition Hall is AMAZING because you can talk to vendors, watch/participate in quick game demos, haggle for bargains, and collect freebies such as pins that you never knew you even needed until somebody handed it to you. With Gen Con Online, they attempted to replicate the exhibition hall experience via The Looking Glass (still open until August 30). The idea of The Looking Glass was great! But the execution of The Looking Glass left something to be desired. The extensive vendor list would have been a lot easier to browse with more than four filters, and my laptop had a difficult time with the interface. I could also tell that some of the vendors didn’t take a lot of time with their Looking Glass promos because they didn’t include any descriptions, product image thumbnails, or even links to their social media. If they didn’t provide descriptions or thumbnails, then I didn’t even go to their website. I also feel like I didn’t pay as much attention to the vendors after getting through the “G’s” or so on the list because it was kind of exhausting to read through. Plus, on The Looking Glass nobody handed me free dice or collectible pins. At real Gen Con, I would’ve literally spent an entire day going through the Exhibition Hall, but at Gen Con Online, I just didn’t have the desire to keep clicking.
What was missing by having Gen Con Online? There were two main things missing for me with Gen Con Online beside the Exhibition Hall encounters. One, the gaming library. For those who want to try as many new games as they can get their hands on, the gaming library is the place to be. This is where you can go for hours and hours and play games that they have on hand. The last two times we went in person, the gaming library was my second favorite ticketed event. (You have to remember in 2014, I accidentally entered a National King of Tokyo tournament and came in 3rd Place, so that’s hard to beat.) The second thing that was missing was the social scene of Gen Con. I looked outside my house, and there was no Georgia Street packed full of food trucks or a beer garden. There wasn’t a Sun King set up with the official beer of Gen Con. There wasn’t a tent serving “island noodles” which just might be the best noodles on the planet! I could stream music performances, but it wasn’t the same as jamming to bands playing live. Other little things were missing like pool time in the hotel, pick up games at random hours, and people waving you over to a table to jump in a game with an empty seat.
“Batman Day”
Gen Con Online Greatness – All of this said, if Gen Con had been in Indy and not online this year, then I wouldn’t have been able to go. Could you imagine LilKsby at a four day gaming convention? He would’ve been amused for maybe an hour, but since we were home he had a ball at Gen Con. While me and Mr Kisby listened to streams or participated in events, LilKsby played with his toys. He also joined in on some of the Zooms and Google Meets since he likes to see the people that live in the computer. Another perk? We weren’t rushing to pack up the car before checkout on Sunday, and we didn’t have a long car trip home. We also made it fun by having theme days as far as how we dressed each day. The best two were definitely Cat Day and Batman Day. We also saved A LOT of money by not having to pay for badges, a hotel, gas, and meals. We also didn’t buy nearly as many games as we usually would at Gen Con because we didn’t really get to try very many. There were some definite perks to Gen Con Online.
Where Can Gen Con Online Go From Here? I think that even when Gen Con Indy can resume, then Gen Con Online is still worth continuing. In an ideal situation, I think Gen Con Online would be great to have during the winter – like February or March – when it is cold and people want to game without leaving their homes. I also think that Gen Con Online reached a wider international audience than Gen Con Indy does as it could all be accessed anywhere with internet. No one had to worry about 24 hour flights to Indy! One of the biggest draws of Gen Con Online this year was also that it was free to attend and many events were free. Gen Con has already said that to continue Gen Con Online, then they would have to charge money. I think this would be okay provided the experience involved more events that I couldn’t have found and streamed free without even registering for Gen Con online. I also think that to charge for Gen Con Online, there would need to be something in it for me. For example, if Gen Con Online were $25, then getting a set 7 piece set of Gen Con specific dice and 25% off my official Gen Con merchandise would make the $25 worth it. Another idea would be for the $25 fee to include some event vouchers.
I totally won this game!
Overall, I feel like with the small amount of time they had to switch from Gen Con Indy to Gen Con Online that Gen Con LLC did a good job. In reality, one probably shouldn’t even compare Gen Con Indy and Gen Con Online as it is kind of like comparing Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi. Diet Coke (Gen Con Indy) is always the better choice, but Diet Pepsi (Gen Con Online) will suffice if necessary. I loved my experience with Gen Con Online, and I’m very glad that we made the choice to participate. That said, I can’t wait for Gen Con 2021! I hope that Covid-19 is under control enough to go in person, but if not, then I’ll be ready for another (and I’m sure much improved) virtual experience!
Original Artwork – “The Eye of the Hurricane” by The Great Kaysby and LilKsby
“In the eye of a hurricane/there is quiet/for just a moment” is the lyric that kept running through my head over and over while I worked on the pictured painting with LilKsby. The lyric is from “Hurricane”, a musical number from Lin Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. During the last few weeks life has kind of felt like a hurricane with so much going on with the pandemic. Businesses and places have reopened, but then they’ve had to close back down. Case numbers had seemingly plateaued, but now there are more cases than ever in certain areas. Masks have gone from being recommended to having to be mandated. On any given day one person can experience so many thoughts and feelings that they feel as though they are constantly living in an emotional hurricane.
Then, there are days where you finally feel like you can breathe; days where you feel like you can finally relax. These are the days when you feel safe from all the distress of the world; these are the days when you just enjoy the life you’ve been blessed with having. These days are the eye of the hurricane for you. Currently, these are the best days! They are days of no anxiety, no doubt, and just experiencing relaxation, contentment, and joy. I think we could all agree that we need more of these days!
So what’s in my eye of the hurricane? Snuggles with LilKsby, cooking for him and Mr Kisby, baking, painting, reading, avoiding social media (that really gets the old anxiety going), exercising, writing, and watching fun videos (lately a lot of Nicholas Brendon’s lives), communicating with family/friends, and focusing on today. My eye of the hurricane is a comfort to me, and with all the uncertainties these days, it’s a good place to spend some time. In my eye of the hurricane, there is love and joy! Even though I know this storm must be weathered, it is good to just be in the moment of quiet sometimes.
Remember the Matchbox 20 song “3 am”? A couple of the most memorable lines were: “She only sleeps when it’s raining, and she screams and her voice is straining and she says baby, it’s 3 am I must be lonely.”
Well, I do love to sleep when it’s raining, but just because I’m awake at 3 am doesn’t mean that I’m lonely. Tonight, it means that (a) I fell asleep really early for me, and (b) the bottle of water that I drank right before bed kicked in effect! After waking up, I realized that I wasn’t tired, so I laid back down and finished a book on my Kindle. Now that the book is done, I find myself just laying here enjoying the moment.
It’s funny because if I were lying in bed awake during “normal hours”, I would feel obliged to be doing something. I would feel like there was something that had to be done around the house, activities that had to be completed with Mr Kisby and LilKsby, or business that had to be attended to immediately. However, since it is the middle of the night, it’s like I give myself permission to relax and enjoy it.
I’ve always been more of a night owl than a morning person as frankly that early bird catching the worm has just always seemed like an overachiever in my book. I really got used to getting up in the middle of the night when LilKsby was so small that we had to wake him up and feed him every couple of hours (you know a year ago…lol). Now it’s almost hard not to wake up for just a little bit.
Often times when I do wake up, I do one of two things. One, I look at my loves and smile. It’s a smile of pure happiness and thankful awe; it’s a smile of how did I get this lucky in life? Two, I stare at the ceiling and think about how perfect these quiet moments are. They’re moments where I can just reflect, count my blessings, and be thankful for the life I’ve been given. The calm that these two things brings is indescribable which is why 3 am turns to 4 am and 5 am and so forth. It’s kind of my personal version of staring at an aquarium to lower your blood pressure. 😊
Admit it. You like instant gratification. I’ll admit that I do, and I think this is why I like gardening. I find it very satisfying to get out in the flower bed and tend to it. There’s something especially satisfying about pulling weeds! For me, the satisfaction comes from instantly being able to see a difference between where I’ve started and paused or finished. I love anything where I can visually see progress!
My raised flower bed has been part of our house for seven years. My dad helped us build it, and maintaining it has been a family endeavor. Last year, it went untended because LilKsby was only two weeks old at this time. Needless to say, Mr Kisby and I were a little preoccupied. This year, it’s back to being a family endeavor.
Yesterday, LilKsby watched as I tended the flower bed. I took it as a time to tell him about invasive species which I know technically Morning Glory isn’t, but man it sure takes over! I also told him about sunflowers and my grandma from Kansas. I told him about my grandma from here and how she always had the most beautiful flower beds. He mostly spilled his water all over himself, but I like to think he enjoyed my stories.
Today, I went out by myself while Mr Kisby played with LilKsby. It was therapeutic to be there and taking care of the flower bed in silence. I did my best to clean up around my phlox which has gone wild without uprooting too much of it. I also envisioned a beautiful way to fill more of it since most of the plants are gone. There was something peaceful about being in the flower bed. 🥰
I hope that everyone has something that brings them similar peace!
I meant to wake up for Zumba this morning. “I meant to” is one of the worst phrases in the English language because it always has something behind it that didn’t happen. It can be trivial: “I meant to put the toilet seat down.” It can be inconvenient: “I meant to pack your toothbrush, but I forgot.” (I still haven’t lived that one down, and it has been 11 years.) It can also be serious: “I meant to pay the electric bill.” Luckily, just missing Zumba simply means I overslept and missed out on exercise.
Do you ever find yourself thinking about things you meant to do? Do you ever find yourself kicking yourself because you didn’t do them? I think this pandemic is a perfect time for thinking about things you meant to do and planning to do some of them. For example, you could plan a vacation you’ve been meaning to take! You could read that book that you’ve been meaning to read! You could clean out the closet you’ve been meaning to organize! There are all kinds of things you could do that fall in the “I meant to” category.
Need an example?
I’m finally learning guitar, blogging more, reading more, taking time for movies (usually in the background while doing something else), spending time outside more, and improving my baking skills. All of these had fallen in the “I meant to” category for a long time! None of these are serious, but they are all things I’ve enjoyed which is important!
What are you finally doing that you used to always say “I meant to”?
As a teacher, I’m very used to having a set schedule that I have to follow. The bell rings at time X. First block begins at time Y, second block begins at time Z, and this pattern continues until the final bell to go home at the end of the day. After school, I have a set routine to follow based on the day, I go to bed around the same time, and I get up the next morning and do it all over again. In a lot of ways, life during the school year becomes like the directions on the back of the shampoo bottle: “Rinse, lather, repeat; rinse, lather, repeat.”
Given the grind of each day, you may think, “Man, I bet she loves Summer Break and having nothing she has to do.” Having nothing to do sounds good on paper. So does being able to stay up until all hours and sleep as late as I want (maybe I’m an overgrown teenager at heart). However, do you know what I’ve learned about myself as I’ve grown as a person (grown as a person sounds more positive than gotten older)? I’m like a fish out of water when I don’t have something that I have to do.
If I don’t have a to do list or an event to look forward to, I find myself sitting around either waiting for someone to entertain me, wasting a lot of time in my recliner, or driving Mr Kisby crazy with “Whatcha doing?” or “What’s your plan for the day?” I bet I ask the second one at least twice a day on average. When you’re so used to your days having to be structured, it can be really hard to have a lot of free time. That’s why I find myself having to have “To Do” lists even during summer to feel like I’ve been productive. Some days my “To Do” list might be simple like “Scoop Litter” and “Pay Bill X”, but there is something about that list that makes my day a million times better. For me, it is the intrinsic satisfaction that comes from checking something off the list. Plus, I love the visual of a completed list. Nothing to me is more freeing than looking at that completed list. It’s almost like the completed list is a ticket to fun and goofing off by doing things like wasting time in the recliner!
I also thrive on having events/activities to look forward to. For example, I’m super excited about starting Virtual Get Ready Camp and Summer Reading with LilKsby this week. I’m thrilled that for like an hour 4 or 5 days a week that we’re going to have a planned activity. Having these helps me to feel like we’re accomplishing something. Then when we’re done, we can spend the rest of the day sitting in his baby pool! Well, he can sit in it, and I can sit in my camp chair and make faces at him. 🙂 I also thrive on having vacations to look forward too. In some ways, I enjoy planning the vacation (aka looking at pretty pictures of things to do and going “ooo, ahh”) as much as going on the vacation. I’m truly a happier, more productive (and easier to be around) when I have a “to do” list and things to look forward to doing.
Now, all of this said. I do enjoy staying up late and sleeping until 9 or 10 every morning. Frankly, I’m proud that I’ve seemed to be able to get LilKsby to accept this routine as well. I also enjoy the occasional day when to quote Bruno Mars, “Today I don’t feel like doing anything/I just wanna lay in my bed”. However, for the most part I need an outline for the day to keep from driving those around me bananas. You know what? I’m finally at a place in life where I’m okay with that, and it doesn’t bother me to not be more spontaneous. I hope you too can find that peace.
In one hour it will be my 37th birthday! To say that I’m excited would be an understatement. My birthday is definitely my second favorite holiday. I love cake! I love a reason to be with family and friends! I love presents! Most of all, I love celebrating another year here on earth living a life of abundance!
I have to say looking back, that 36 has been one of the best years ever! Some may think, “But Kaysby, we’re in the middle of a global pandemic! In fact, the last two month of your 36th year have been spent social distancing and in pretty much complete isolation with Mr Kisby and LilKsby!” That’s two months of time that I’ve gotten to spend with my AMAZING baby almost 24/7 (seriously I’ve been away from him for maybe two hours) and my hubby (who I don’t just love but also like to be around)!
Plus, some of the greatest things ever have happened while 36! Here are the highlights:
We had a baby! LilKsby has the distinction of being born when I was 36 just as I was born when my dad was 36. Also, the three of us are all Tauruses who were born in the Year of the Pig. How fun is that?
The three of us got to spend A LOT of time together! You know what? We love our little family, and we wouldn’t trade the togetherness for the world!
We got to see some of the best of Broadway by going to Hamilton and Jesus Christ Superstar. Bonus? We also got to watch Jesus Christ Superstar again on Andrew Lloyd Weber’s YouTube channel!
We traveled with LilKsby! He won’t remember it, but I’ll always remember playing with him in hotel pools! I’m so glad that he loves water just like his mama!
We got to celebrate several holidays before and after quarantine began: Halloween, Not-So-Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, Easter, a wedding, and birthdays.
We got to get some of the best family pictures ever made with Elcara Photography!
We’ve tried new things like baking a cake from scratch and learning guitar.
We’ve virtually visited museums and amusement parks!
We’ve finally taken time to do little things around the house that there never seemed to be time to complete.
We’ve supported causes near and dear to our hearts!
We’ve taken more time for things we enjoy like creating art, blogging, playing games, and having family movie nights! The last of these is why I’ve finally seen the first three Indiana Jones movies and all of the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies that have been released thus far!
I’ve taken time to read! Books are great!
We’ve taken more time to attend church in person and virtually – especially virtually!
There’s more greatness that I know I just can’t think of right now! 36 has been that great of a year! I hope that 37 will be just as great, and that next year when it is 31 minutes until my birthday, I’ll be finishing another blog about another great year!
To everyone else having a birthday today, tomorrow, or soon, I hope that you can reflect and realize that your year has been great even if there were struggles along the way (after all no road is ever perfectly paved)! Find joy in the little things, and live by your priorities! Love life! Here’s to 37!
In the last 34 days, I’ve left the house 5 times maybe 6 to do activities other than walk around the neighborhood. I had to go to work one day, picked up an online grocery order once, went for a drive and lunch pick up, and picked up dinner twice. I’ve cried more than I’ve ever cried especially out of being deeply moved by the kindness and generosity of others. But most importantly, I’ve spent tons of time with Mr Kisby and LilKsby that I wouldn’t have otherwise! ❤️ This is my favorite part of social distancing/corona-quarantine, and I can honestly say that at 34 days and counting boredom is nowhere in sight!
So far I have or we have:
Watched a lot of TV (often just as background noise) including: Full House, Fuller House, Boy Meets World, Girl Meets World, Nailed It, Hart of Dixie, Onward, and Inside Out.
Baked cookies
Learned to make bread from a starter
Cooked more than ever (seriously, we had an eating out problem)
Cleaned
Napped
Learned how to work from home
Painted my nails
Given a haircut
Played board games
Taken Udemy classes for fun
Started to learn guitar from YouTube
Worshipped virtually
Visited with family virtually
Played video games
Created art projects
Played with toys
Read books
I’m sure we’ve done more, but that’s all I can think of at the moment! The good news is there is still a lot we can do without getting bored! The best news is that we’ve gotten time together we wouldn’t have had otherwise!!! FYI…if it wasn’t for the pandemic, then I may not have seen LilKsby’s first steps or been there when he started to say, “Dada”. Those have been the best moments!
I hope that you’re finding things to do during this time at home and enjoying it. I’d love to know your favorite things!
“We will get through this. We will get through this together.” – Gov Andy Beshear, everyday at 5 pm
March 1, 2020
March 1 – 28 days ago – we were driving home from attending a wedding. It was a great trip, so great that we talked about going back for Spring Break at the end of the month. If you would’ve asked me on that car ride home what we’d be doing in four weeks, then never in my wildest dreams would I have thought the answer would be social distancing and finding a new normal amid a pandemic.
Yet here we are…
We find ourselves in a new situation where every tickle in your throat has you wondering if shortness of breath is soon to follow, or if the warm feeling is because it’s hot out, or you have a fever. We find ourselves hearing about toilet paper hoarding and sections of grocery stores being desolate. When we have to be out, we’re supposed to be no closer than 6 feet from anyone else. If we don’t have to be out, then we need to be home. #healthyathome is trending, which is great because it means people are following directions, and a new normal is developing all over the globe.
My new normal truly started on March 17, the day we began teaching school online from home. The last two weeks of NTI days have been the hardest two weeks in my teaching career work wise. I’ve had to learn a whole new bag of tricks while trying my best to be just as effective virtually as I am in the classroom! I’m very thankful that I have an awesome PLC for support.
Teaching from home aside, regular home life has been different too. There’s been very little face to face contact with the outside world. When there has been, it’s been either passing folks while going for a walk or the people working hard to make necessity pick up happen. We’ve become accustomed to seeing family virtually each day instead of in person. We’re cooking meals more than ever, and I’ve not watched this much television since having the flu twice in 2018! (Sidebar: binge watching Boy Meets World was AMAZING!)
But do you know what else has happened?
We’ve come to love our governor!
LilKsby clapped for the first time!
I’ve gotten more sweet baby snuggles than I ever dreamed possible!
I’ve realized how much fun can be had without leaving the house!
We’ve just sat and talked!
I’ve gotten the recommended amount of sleep frequently!
It hasn’t all been bad! We’re adapting to this new normal, and we’ll continue to do so. We will continue to try and be the best people we can in this odd situation. Will there be tough days? Yup! Will there be moments of anxiety? Yup! We’re still human after all! But those are just moments, and we’re working to win the long game!
The Great Kaysby 