Tag: thegreatkaysby

How Are You Really?

From CanStockPhoto.com

How many times a day are you asked “How are you?” or a similar question? How often is your response “I’m fine”, “Good”, or something similar? Do you feel like these responses border on robotic because you know the person talking to you doesn’t want to hear the truth?

I bet if I could see you, then I would have just seen a raised hand!

Now let me ask you this question, “How are you really?” Instead of responding with the first thing that pops in your mind, I encourage you to take a few moments and do a wellness check. So take a deep breath and join me on a reflective journey for the next five minutes! Ready? Let’s go!

Minute 1 – Get comfortable by taking a seated position that makes you relaxed, lounging on your most comfortable piece of furniture, or try utilizing shavasana (corpse pose). Take a few deep breaths and clear your mind.

Minute 2 – Think about your physical health. Quickly do a head to toe body scan and note anything out of the ordinary. Perhaps you will notice that your eyes feel tired and strained from increased screen time. Maybe you will notice that your shoulders and hips feel out of alignment due to poor posture or a previously diagnosed condition like scoliosis. You may notice that your muscles are stiff from new exercises that you’ve been doing. If something seems alarming, make a note and call a health professional so that you don’t fret over the issue.

Minute 3 – Think about your emotional health. What emotions have you felt today? Were you frustrated because you had to do things at work today that you don’t enjoy? Did you find a reason to laugh or smile today? Did you feel sad? Did you feel content? If you’re emotions have been like a roller coaster, take a moment to consider what caused such fluctuations. Also, never hesitate to call a professional if need be.

Minute 4 – Think about your mental health. Have you experienced anxiety today? Have you felt stressed today? Is your mental health beginning to impact you physically and emotionally? If you examine your mental health and realize that you need professional help, then reach out to someone. There is no shame in getting the mental health assistance you need. I don’t talk about it a lot, but I’ve had to take medication for anxiety in the past. At first I thought people would judge me for having to be on it, but now I’m not afraid to acknowledge that it was necessary. I hope that my own admission will help others be comfortable with getting the help they need!

Minute 5 – What are your next best steps? Now that you’ve evaluated your health, it is time to consider the next best steps. Personally, my next best physical step is to continue increasing my exercise levels. For my emotional health, it is remembering to not let one mishap mess up my emotions/mood for the whole day. This has always been hard for me! As far as mental health, my next best step is working on coping strategies for stress. Please know that your next best steps may be different than mine; in fact, your next best steps should be different and unique to your health.

Now that you’ve had a moment to evaluate yourself, “How are you really?”

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

A Secret to Happiness 😊

Do you want to know the secret to happiness? With the caveat that I’m exhausted from last night’s insomnia (see the previous blog), I will tell you a secret to happiness. Are you ready? Here goes…

The secret to happiness is to realize it is okay for the things that bring you happiness to change.

As I write this, I’m lying on bed with LilKsby while he plays educational games on Mr Kisby’s phone. Normally, it doesn’t bring me happiness for him to play on phones because I believe there is a link between screen time and attention span length (I’m a mama not a scientist, so I could be wrong). However, on a day like today when I could go to bed before bath time, it brings me great happiness to just relax with him next to me. On a normal day this might make me feel reminiscent of a sloth, but not today!

This example of day to day happiness variance is not typical; however, it is reminiscent of how what brings us happiness changes throughout life. If you think back on your lifetime, I bet there are things you can think of that used to bring you happiness that no longer do or you’ve simply out grown. For example, Barbies brought me happiness from like 5 to 12. Do I wish Barbies still made me happy? Nope, but I’m glad I enjoyed them and the creativity they fostered while I did!

From about 19 to 29, a game called Amtgard brought me a lot of happiness (along with some headaches literally and figuratively). It’s been almost a decade since I’ve been active with it because it became more of a habit than an activity of happiness. However, I’m EXTREMELY thankful for the time that it brought me happiness and the skill is learned while playing. (Side note, it was stress relieving to get to legally hit people with foam sticks!) Today, I am ABUNDANTLY blessed by the husband and friendships that came from it. Guess what? They still make me happy!

Likewise some of the things I never knew would bring me happiness when I was younger have brought me more joy than I ever could’ve imagined. I am an only child, and I was never around babies much growing up. From this experience, I was sure that I never wanted kids. That is until I met my husband, and I got to see how cool kids were with our niece and nephews. This led to me finding out at 36 that being LilKsby’s mama brings me more happiness than I ever knew possible!

And there you have it. The secret to happiness is realizing that it is okay for the things that bring you happiness to change. So if you find yourself not enjoying something like you used to enjoy it, I challenge you to try something new. Read, paint, start a blog, plan a vacation, start a side hustle…invest in yourself and make time for happiness! Most of all, if you agree with me, pass the secret to happiness on to someone!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Insomnia Mama

Anyone else currently awake? It’s 3 am, and I’ve been up for almost an hour. Why? It started with a little heartburn. Once I was awake, I decided to go to the bathroom. Next thing you know I’m putting in a Walmart order because LilKsby is almost out of bubble bath (NOT ALLOWED). I tried to fall back asleep, but I had a few little thought nuggets that were too good not to share!

  • Why is “used” an option when buying bubble bath on Amazon? I’m sure it isn’t really used, but the image of someone rebottling some Mr Bubbles is funny to me. I have an image of them sitting on the edge of a bathtub with a strainer to catch the bubbles and a funnel to get them back in the bottle.
  • When I was doing squats earlier did I look like a legit workout goddess or someone who failed stripper school? One of my besties had a birthday get together at a burlesque studio one time. I was not graceful or coordinated, and it was not pretty!
  • Do foot cleanses really work? Will they make my feet less stinky? That alone would make me less stressed! Avoiding stinky feet is one of the reasons you’ll see me in sandals in November! Plus for some reason it tends to be hot in November still…#globalwarmingisreal
  • Which is better: hot yoga or sauna therapy? Is the answer doing yoga in a sauna? Yoga is all about concentration and inner calm. I think if sauna yoga was a thing, I’d be too concerned about whether or not the previous yogi practiced naked to be calm.
  • What all did I order from Walmart? I’m tired. Guess it will be a surprise after work tomorrow! I hope they have the bubble bath in stock!

I hope you found these as entertaining as I did! Now back to sleep (hopefully).

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Feel Good Friday

What if every Friday you did one good deed for someone else? It could be buying them their favorite drink; it could be writing them a quick thank you note; it could be sending them a message saying “you’re doing a great job”. Whatever you did for someone would not have to have a financial cost, but it has the potential to have a reward greater than money: happiness. The more happiness that someone has in their life, the more happiness they can put into the lives of others. Imagine a world where people experienced more happiness! I bet it would be a more peaceful world!

Today I challenge you to do something that makes someone else feel good. You might inspire them to do something good for someone else. There’s no telling how big the ripple effect could become!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

30 Days…

Today – September 1, 2021 – I showed this video in all of my junior English classes. The students then had to complete a quick write about what they could try for 30 days. As a teacher and business leader, I believe that I should be willing to do the things that I ask my students and team to do. That said, I’m setting a timer for seven minutes, and here is my quick write! Enjoy!

For 30 Days…

  1. I could write every day and have a 50,000 word novel…wait I’ve done that several times! LOL Seriously though, NANOWRIMO is two months away so writers get ready!
  2. I could take a meaningful picture that will always remind me of something good. This is one of my favorite ideas from the video.
  3. I could blog for 30 days straight to grow my virtual presence.
  4. I could record daily Webisodes for my business to help grow my area of influence.
  5. I could do squats every day to help improve my health.
  6. I could make a point of reading at least one positive thing every day.
  7. I could make a point to give at least one sincere compliment every day.
  8. I could take time to read for a minimum of five minutes every day and hopefully finish at least three books this month.
  9. I could work smarter and not harder.
  10. I could create more works of art.
  11. I could drink at least 64 ounces of water each day.
  12. I could visualize my goals coming true.
  13. I could start learning a new language.
  14. I could be sure to eat at least three servings of fruits and vegetables each day (I’m working towards five).
  15. I could listen to an inspirational hotline/podcast.
  16. I could walk at least one mile per day.
  17. I could text a friend to check on them.
  18. I could keep a smile on my face and be positive.
  19. I could support local restaurants as opposed to chains (this would get costly).
  20. I could save $1 a day so that I had $30 (or I could do a bigger amount) extra at the end of the month.
  21. I could start streaming again.
  22. I could get more sleep and not just on the weekends.
  23. I could be more productive in the mornings so that I can relax at night.
  24. I could sing and dance like no one is watching!

Wow! You can get a lot out in a 7 minute quick write! I’m impressed by all of the options that I could do for 30 days! Obviously doing all 24 things from my quick write in one 30 day period isn’t going to work. However, I think that I can focus on a couple. For my physical health, I can do squats every day. For my hobby, I can read at least five minutes every day. Like Matt Cutts talked about in the video, the little thing each day can become a big thing!

Here’s my challenge to you:

  • Watch the video
  • Take 7 minutes to brainstorm ideas
  • Commit to one or two things to do for 30 days
  • Let me know how it goes

You can do this!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Overcoming Obstacles

Our Memorial Garden

Earlier today, I made this post on my Facebook page:

At 2:30 today, the weeds were still so high that you couldn’t see the sunflower lights. I’d been putting off weeding it for WEEKS because my mind was full of thoughts like:

*I can’t do this without help.
*If I ask for help, it will seem like I can’t take care of myself.
*I can’t do this, I have a toddler. When would I have time?
*I need to use weed killer because my natural remedies haven’t worked. I can’t use weed killer!
*If I weed the garden and use weed killer, I’ll have to shower afterwards and wash the clothes. Who has time for that?

Today, by 3:20, I had weeded it, gone over it with weed killer, put the clothes in the washer, and showered. It isn’t perfect, but it is much improved! Guess what? I did it by myself during toddler nap time (hubby was in the house while I was outside)! It didn’t take near the time I’d built up in my mind, and it wasn’t as hard as it was in my mind! It’s amazing what the brain can convince us we can’t do when we are perfectly capable of doing it!

While in the garden, I felt like I was in one of my two elements where I feel the most relaxed. When I’m in my relaxing element, I get a lot of deep thinking done. Today’s thoughts? One, our brains telling us something is impossible keeps us from achieving greatness. Two, why is the hardest thing in the world to ask for help?

The first thought came from me realizing how easy weeding the garden was. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I had built it up in my head as an impossible task. As I realized how simple it was, I started thinking about all the other things I’ve told myself are impossible over the years like “you’ll never be able to earn the use of a career car” and “you’ll never be able to lose weight”. How many of these am I actually able to accomplish? What all has my brain been holding me back from achieving? My conclusion? Stop listening to the brain say “you can’t” or “you aren’t”, rip the weed out so to speak, and say job well done everyday progress is made towards a goal! I know that’s easier said than done, but I feel realizing I can do things the brain says I can’t it’s a step in the right direction!

As for my second thought, it’s a doozy! It is super hard for me to ask for help. I feel like society engrains in us that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Like if you have to ask for help, then you’re not good enough to do it on your own or have no business doing it in the first place. Both of these are absurd given at some point in life we all need help to get things done! Last week when my AC needed fixing, I couldn’t have done it without a repairman’s help. No where in my skill set is AC repair! That was easy. Dishes piling up that I don’t have time to do today? I can’t ask for help, I’m supposed to be Super Mom/a Wife! Maybe that right there is the answer! Maybe asking for help is only hard when we feel like something is expected of us! Ooo…that really might be it! Either way, I hope that LilKsby grows up being willing to ask for help! I also hope that he never feels people are judging him for asking for help!

So those are my deep thoughts for the day! What are your deep thoughts today?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

It’s Been A While

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged (April, I think), and it’s been a while since I’ve listened to the song of the same name! I had a goal of blogging more regularly, but that goal didn’t really work out. Why? I haven’t had writer’s block if that’s what you’re thinking. There have been plenty of things that I’ve wanted to write about on my blog. However, with the way things have been in the world, I feel like a lot of the things on my mind would have just led to arguments with readers. Confrontation and arguing are not on my list of favorite things to do, so I’ve kept my thoughts to myself.

That said…deep breath…here’s a little glimpse into what has been on my brain…

Thought 1 – The pandemic is still rearing it’s ugly head! After what seemed like some relief and a calm down in the spring, Delta is dominating the end of summer. If you had asked me in May, I would have told you that I really thought things would be close to “normal” by now. Sadly, I’m wrong and it seems like things are once again going to get worse before they start to stabilize and climb back to “normal”.

Thought 2 – Simone Biles is a hero! She is legit the Greatest Of All Time, and I’m so proud of her putting her mental health first and withdrawing from the Olympic competitions. Simone knew that she could physically hurt herself if she competed, and she made a point of preventing that from happening and prioritizing her mental well being. In the course of this decision, other Team USA members have earned medals that may not have done so. Simone has also brought light to an area that needs lots of awareness: mental health awareness! Did I mention that she deals daily with ADHD and the trauma of sexual abuse? Simone Biles is AMAZING!

Thought 3 – Masks…once I was fully vaccinated, I didn’t know how I would feel about wearing a mask in public still. I went in public a few times without one, and it turns out that I still like masking up. One of the reasons I still like it is because LilKsby isn’t eligible for a vaccine yet. Keeping him safe from the pandemic is still a top priority. Another reason I still like masking up is because I don’t want to inadvertently carry the virus to someone else. Also, breakthrough infections are becoming more and more prevalent. Plus, my mask is kind of a security blanket. It’s kept me safe for over a year, so it’s hard to just take off and leave behind. This is my feeling about masks, and I realize that everyone has their own opinions. All I ask is that you not bully me over my mask.

Thought 4 – Travel…I miss travel! We stayed in a cabin at a state park for a weekend back in May, and it was amazing! Since then we haven’t gone anywhere overnight. We did go the aquarium, IKEA, and Jungle Jim’s on a daytrip, but otherwise we’ve stayed in our little area. Part of my missing travel is to keep looking at future vacation options. I’ve got all kinds of travel plans in my head! I just need to hit the lottery and have the pandemic get under control so that I can feel safe to go!

Thought 5 – The best part about summer break is being home with my little family! I love all of the little things we get to do throughout the day. I love snuggles! I love art time! I love library time! I love sleeping later than usual! I love not having to eat fast because of 20 minute lunch breaks! Summer break is amazing!!! Back to school blues are for real because even though my school life is fun, my mama/wife/family life is always my number one! Another reason I need to win the lottery? Every day could be like summer break!

Wow! That’s a lot of thoughts! Getting them out in writing is very therapeutic and freeing for the mind. I hope that none of my words have offended anyone, and I hope that the posts will become more frequent! I’ve missed blogging!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Dream Dilemma: Gatsby’s American Dream

If you’ve followed my blog for a while, then you know that I have a tendency to use quotes from F Scott Fitzgerald and The Great Gatsby. I really like the book because of the glimpse it provides into the history of the 1920s (Fitzgerald did a great job of intermingling fact worth fiction) and the attitudes of society’s elite during this time. I equate it to a 1920s version of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. When that show first came on TV, I must admit that I was intrigued because I hadn’t heard of them (I remembered Johnny Cochran from the OJ Simpson trial not Robert Kardashian), and I wanted to know why the entertainment industry thought I should want to know about the lives of a rich family that seemed to be 50% train wreck and 50% fashion entrepreneurs. For the record, after so many years of them being in the media, I don’t understand why they still draw so much attention. However, it seems to work for them, so I don’t judge (like Nick Carraway).

In addition to the insight into 1920s, I also love the hope that Gatsby embodies. I find it quite admirable (even though his intentions were EXTREMELY questionable) that he never gives up hope even when so many others would’ve thrown in the towel. (Leonardo DiCaprio’s portrayal of Gatsby may have something to do with the obsession as well.) However, a quote from the character of Lucy in the Netflix movie Moxie brings up a great question: “I think the real question is, why are we still reading this book? It’s written by some rich white guy about some rich white guy.” As an avid reader and high school English teacher, I think Lucy raises a great question. Why are we still teaching something that seems so archaic in content? As I was teaching Gatsby today (chapter 7 for those who like exact context), I realized that the reason we teach Gatsby still is to illustrate the dilemma with the American Dream and how it has remained broken all these years.

From the onset Gatsby’s dream is broken. His dream – which is based on lies that he fabricated about his persona – revolves around the desire to shatter a marriage (Tom and Daisy) and take the piece he wants for himself (Daisy) with no regard for how it will impact those involved (cough…the daughter…cough…her name is Pammy since people tend to forget it). Gatsby’s dream is so deeply rooted in the past that at times Gatsby seems unable to comprehend that five years have gone by since his month of love with Daisy. He legitimately does not seem to understand why Daisy can’t just say she never loved Tom because he cannot fathom that she’s had an enjoyable life without him.

Beyond this inability to comprehend the five years since they were together, Gatsby’s dream of Daisy is corrupted by money. Knowing how much Daisy loves money (her voice is full of it after all), Gatsby equates having boat loads of money with happiness. I get that for many people having money is part of the American Dream, but there is also a big difference in having enough money to live without worry and having so much money that opulence seems to be a requirement and not optional. This money being equivalent to happiness adds more to Gatsby’s dilemma as it blurs the line between his love for Daisy and her materialism. Love might be part of the American Dream, but is materialism really a dream or a burden?

Having deep roots in the past and equating money with love aren’t the only broken aspects of the American Dream in Gatsby. The character of Tom Buchanan represents some of the most broken aspects of the American Dream. On the surface, he seems to have it all: a wife, a child, a mansion, millions of dollars, and athleticism. However, while he seems to be living the American Dream on the surface, Tom is actually a racist, sexist, classist, womanizer who is abusive to his wife and his girlfriend. Nothing about these personality traits are what I would consider to be aspects of the American Dream!!!!

So why do we still teach The Great Gatsby? My theory (besides having a reason to show a DiCapio film) is to provide the youth of today with a cautionary tale. I feel like teaching this novel helps to show that things associated with “the dream life” are morally questionable and can create more dilemmas than dreams. I also believe that the novel serves as a great reminder that societal problems we have today have actually been plaguing our country for a long time (Gatsby did come out almost 100 years ago). It provides a great reminder that until people change, then dreams will continue to be broken. My hope, when I teach Gatsby, is that kids will see it as a model of what not to do and encourage them to go about their dreams the right way. Much like Gatsby, I do believe in the green light only my green light is a lot more moral! In fact, I believe in hope so much (and have such a big desire to write my own great American novel) that I chose to be The Great Kaysby! My personal response to the novel is to never give up hope and never stop dreaming!

What do you think of dreams and Gatsby?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Random Sunday Thoughts

As another Spring Break comes to a close, there are a multitude of thoughts swirling through my head. Like so many times when this happens, I feel like the best thing to do is attempt to sort them out in writing. Why do it in a blog? Because I’m sure if I’m thinking these things, there is someone else out there who can relate.

Thought 1 – On any given day, you can be both the “picture perfect” mama and “a chicken with her hair on fire” mama. Yesterday, I was the mama who takes the family to the Farmer’s Market in order to shop local and organic. That’s helping other families financially while helping the health of my family! We also did our grocery pickups because we meal plan like champs (even though often the plan gets tweaked midweek when a frozen pizza us substituted into the lineup). Then, we napped for three hours, woke up just in time for bath time, and the realization that we never had dinner. That’s when you go to Dominos in your pajamas with a messy bun and allow your toddler to eat greasy pizza way too late at night while staying up way past their bedtime! This was a great contrast to the “picture perfect” me who had taken the toddler to the library twice earlier in the week, taught him about gardening and growing our own vegetables, and the importance of family outings on nature trails and to the zoo! Spoiler alert, with all that teaching of good things, I may have relied on McDonalds and Burger King a little too much this week! Why both? Because one has $1 drinks and good fries, and the other has Whoppers.

Thought 2 – Flexibility is a way of life. I had these great ambitions of a “self spa” day where I was going to color my hair, do a charcoal mask, and paint my nails. All of these are great thoughts, but when you take a three hour nap while snuggling a toddler who then goes to bed two hours late, the thoughts stay thoughts. For a minute, I was kind of upset about it, then I realized that at least I got a shower and to pluck my eyebrows (they were pretty unsightly…not to mention a dead giveaway that I color my hair when they are thicker). Sometimes it’s the little things that make you smile!

Thought 3 – Does it ever become easier to go back rib work after breaks? Don’t get me wrong. I like my job, but I LOVE being a wife and mom. After a whole week of just getting to be a wife and mom, it is really hard to go back to both. As much as you try, it is really hard to be fully there for both. I’m sure I’m not the only person who has thoughts such as “Did I take the chicken out for dinner?” and “Did I switch the baby’s laundry out?” while at work. Likewise, at home during wife/mom time sometimes I can’t help but think about things that happened at work that day especially if something didn’t get finished that I wanted to complete. Once I get back into the swing of both, it’s always fine. There’s just always that dread the day before returning since it requires sacrificing time with those you love most.

Thought 4 – Why are people so quick to change their tunes based on popular opinions even when they are founded in misconceptions? Just a year ago, the general public was celebrating teachers for their flexibility and quick ability to adapt to non-traditional methods of providing instruction. People were actually talking about how teachers deserved higher pay! Now, some of the same public acts like teachers are horrible, selfish human beings because they put their own families needs first and/or have been anxiety ridden by all the pandemic protocols. FYI…this school year has required more work than any other year in order to meet the needs of all students.

My random thoughts might not make a lot of sense; however, they are a little more sorted out! Just like I knew they would be. 😊 I hope that whatever random thoughts you’re having tonight, you can sort them out too.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Advocate & Make a Change!

Parental leave map
Photo from Dominic Hernandez’s FAST FACTS: MATERNITY LEAVE POLICIES ACROSS THE GLOBE

They say you should advocate for what you’re passionate about and attempt to make a change. Since having LilKsby in 2019, I’ve wanted to advocate for better paternity leave in our country. This week, I got a wild hair, and decided to contact my state legislators asking them to do something about improving parental leave. The next day a co-worker sent me a Tweet saying the Louisville Metro Council approved paid parental leave for city employees for twelve weeks following the birth or adoption of a child. Their approval was unanimous! City of Louisville employees are very lucky that the Louisville Metro Council has their back on parental leave. Many people in the United States aren’t so lucky.

Until having LilKsby, I didn’t know much about parental leave. All I knew of it had come from working in the Personnel Department before taking the job I have now. Based on that experience, I assumed that it was the norm to give new mothers six weeks of leave (eight weeks for a C-section) and require the mothers to use either a combination of sick and personal days if they wanted to get paid (and were lucky to have 30-40 to cover the time) or take leave without pay. I had never had reason to look into the policy of other places, so foolishly I made a presumption that this was just how it was everywhere. SHAME ON ME! One should never make presumptions!

My first taste of better parental leave came from Mr Kisby’s job at the time. He was provided with quite the combination of fully and partially paid leave, and he did not have to use any of his vacation time! I was shocked when he told me how good of parental leave his employer provided. His was so good that when you added his time and my time together, LilKsby didn’t have to go to a babysitter until he was three and a half months old!

Since our experience with parental leave, I’ve found myself frequently thinking about the parental leave provided around the world. Did you know that “the United States is the only high-income country, as classified by the World Bank, that does not have paid maternity leave” (Hernandez)? Yes, the United States has employers who provide paid parental leave; however, there is no federally mandated parental leave for births or adoptions. FMLA does cover 12 weeks of unpaid leave for new parents, but the only thing that helps with is securing a position to return to after the time is up. Anyone who has ever had a baby or adopted a child knows that there are A LOT of expenses incurred during parental leave. Unless you’ve been saving for a long time or are willing to rack up debt, going unpaid for 12 weeks is not a viable option for many people.

Here’s another fun thing I learned while on maternity leave with LilKsby that I never knew. Did you know that the recommendations of pediatricians is that babies should not be going out in public until after they’ve had their first vaccinations at 8 weeks old? I didn’t know that! I found it very interesting that pediatricians make this recommendation, yet employers force parents to put their children in daycare at 6 weeks old (or younger) by not paying the new parents beyond that point. Something doesn’t add up with that math!

I can also speak from my own experience that six weeks (or eight weeks in my C-section having case) is not enough for a lot of babies to start breastfeeding consistently and correctly. Our journey was 10 1/2 weeks to achieve accurate breastfeeding. If I hadn’t have been able to fenagle 11 weeks of leave because of summer break and skipping workshops, then we never would’ve achieved the breastfeeding success that I knew would provide the best health for my baby.

I fully realize that not everyone in the world will ever need parental leave. However, I guarantee you that everyone will have a friend or family member that needs to use parental leave at some point. That said, I think it is time that we (everyone who comes across this and all of their family and friends) advocate for better parental leave in this country. America loves to say they are the best at everything, so it is time to make that a reality when it comes to parental leave. I encourage all of my readers to do some research, write to their legislators, and take action to help encourage improvement in the area of parental leave!

I’ll put my soapbox away now. I love you and good night!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Hernandez, D., 2018. Fast Facts: Maternity leave policies across the globe – Vital Record. [online] Vital Record. Available at: <https://vitalrecord.tamhsc.edu/fast-facts-maternity-leave-policies-across-globe/&gt; [Accessed 28 March 2021].

A Shot of Hope

COVID-19 Vaccines - Columbia Memorial Hospital
Photo Credit: Columbia Memorial Hospital

Today, I got a “Shot of Hope”! I got my second dose of the Covid vaccine! When I got the first one in February, there was a since of relief that the light at the end of the tunnel was getting brighter. Now that I’ve had the second dose, I’m filled with hope!

I am filled with hope to hug people outside of my household soon.

I have hope that friends who haven’t seen their parents and grandparents since last March will get to see them soon.

I have hope that Mr Kisby will be able to get it soon along with all of our loved ones!

I have hope to see people in person that I haven’t felt comfortable visiting since last March.

I have hope that LilKsby will get to safely have play dates.

I have hope to be able to travel without worry so we can show LilKsby the world.

I have hope that we will start hearing more and more survival stories than stories of death or other long term impacts.

I have hope from the “Shot of Hope” that a brighter future will be here in the next few months.

Frankly, it feels AMAZING to have so much hope! For so long it seemed like there was not light at the end of the tunnel; it seemed like the pandemic was never going to come to a state of control (a true end still seems like an impossibility). There was a time when it seemed like we were never going to see people outside of our household or travel ever again. Those times were hard, so to have hope again is an extraordinary feeling!

I hope this extraordinary feeling keeps going; I hope that I can keep from getting brought down by those who don’t share my hope. Believe me, I understand that there are people who do not want to get the vaccine. I understand that there are people who have not been as cautious as me and my family have been. I understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, whether I agree or not, in any situation. As someone who understands, all I ask is that you don’t rain on my parade of hope. For me, the vaccine gives me hope for a better tomorrow…in a couple of weeks when it’s reached the max level of effectiveness!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Day History CHANGED

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Last night when people across the country went to bed, a woman had never been Vice President of the United States. Today, just before noon, that changed forever when Vice President Kamala Harris changed history by taking the Vice Presidential Oath of Office. Whether you voted for Biden and Harris or not, you cannot deny the significant historical change of today!

As an elementary aged girl in the late 80s and 90s, I remember hearing the question “Would you rather be the first woman in the NBA or the first woman president?” Understand that this also predates the WBNA being formed. I remember saying first woman in the NBA with hesitation partially because I wanted to give “the cool” answer, but also because the idea that a woman could be president seemed impossible at the time. Truth be told, even though my own state had a female governor from the time I was seven months old until I was four, the idea of women having a major impact on politics seemed impossible at the time. Watching history be changed today, I wish I could go back and tell nine or ten year old me, “Just you wait. Women will have power politically in America!” Guess what? Today, we have that power!

Many years after being that little girl, as I look at the world through “mom eyes”, I am beyond thrilled that LilKsby – who is partially Pacific Islander – will grow up in a world where he sees that all people regardless of race, ethnicity, or gender CAN achieve political offices that once seemed impossible. I am tickled pink that the first Vice President he will remember is a female of color! I am also elated that his peers will grow up in a country where doors have been opened for everyone! Doesn’t that make you feel the empowerment behind the historical changes today?

History aside, I made two other thought changing observations today. Did you know that the Hebrew meaning of the word “Salem” is peace? How ironic that a place where the name of the town meant peace would be synonymous with witch trials! Also, did you notice the number of officials wearing purple at the inauguration today? Think about it…if you take red (Republican) and blue (Democrat) and mix them together, you get purple. What a great symbolic gesture of unity! What if as this change grows the country went from red or blue to all together purple? Peace could be in the works! Peace in our land would be another great change to history!!

Here’s to change!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Just Breathe and Take Control

Anyone else feel like if one thing doesn’t go right then they beat themselves up so bad mentally that the rest of the evening is shot? I’m sure I’m not the only one! About 21 hours into 2021, this happened to me for the first time in the New Year. Now it’s 22 hours into 2021, and I can assure you that sometimes you just need to breathe, take control, and everything will work out.

Without going into a lot of details, last night I thought I placed an Amazon order that had to be received before 2020 ended. Tonight, I realized the order never went through. My response was to mentally berate myself so much that I didn’t want to do anything except for sit and be mad at myself. After a few minutes, I logged onto my health account, chatted with a rep (who just happened to be working on New Year’s Day), and realized that I didn’t lose any money. I immediately felt relieved, and I now have a better understanding of how my health account operates. I ended the chat feeling immensely relieved, a little silly for getting so upset, and proud of myself for taking the initiative to attempt to do something about the whole situation which led to a good outcome.

This little story is a great reminder that sometimes we just need to breathe and take control in anyway we can. It is also a reminder that this is something I need to continuously work on improving. I’d been attempting to think all day about things I need to work on during 2021, and I kept making excuses for why I couldn’t think about it at a given time. As it turns out, I didn’t need think time; I just needed a bump in the road to remind me of what I need to improve in 2021. I just need to remember to breathe and take control when things seems to not go as expected!

Here’s to just breathing and taking control! Happy 2021!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Wellness Wednesday

Happy Wellness Wednesday! For our family on this particular Wednesday, wellness has meant family flu shots. Yup, flu shots all around! However, wellness doesn’t just have to mean something associated with a vaccine or physical ailment. Wellness can be associated with mental and emotional health just as much as physical. In fact, I personally believe that mental and emotional health is more important than the physical health! Anybody agree?

No matter what Wellness Wednesday means to you, I thought you might enjoy my favorite wellness tips.

Stay hydrated! Drink plenty of water! Why? One, dehydration blows. Seriously, some of the worst I’ve ever felt was when dehydrated. Two, water is great for your skin. Three, it’s been proven than drinking water actually helps you stay awake more than caffeine (ties in with hydration and no crash factor). Plus, water can be super tasty! I’m sure I’m not the only person who loves to infuse their water with flavors!

Get outside! I’ve always said that Seasonal Affective Disorder was a thing even before it had that title. Getting out in the sun and being part of nature can improve any mood. There’s something invigorating about going for a walk on a crisp day! There’s also something about nature (for me especially around bodies of water) that can provide you with so much clarity about life.

Nap Like a Toddler! Lilksby is in that stage where somedays he needs a 30 minute nap, and other days he needs a 2 hour nap. It’s all relative to how much sleep he’s had and the activities of the day. However, no matter the amount of time the nap is, he wakes up refreshed and ready to go for the rest of the day. We all could use those little boosts. So nap like a toddler!

Self Care Isn’t Selfish! How many of you feel guilty when you take time for you? I know this can be an easy trap to find yourself in, but I firmly believe that self care makes you better for all those you’re around. If you aren’t feeling your best, then you won’t be your best self for them. Self care doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as taking a bubble bath, doing a face mask, exercising by yourself, or sitting with a book and a glass of wine. I recommend self care at least a couple times a week. If you’re a planner, then plan for Self Care Sunday and Wellness Wednesday.

Read or Write! I tell people all the time that it doesn’t matter what you read or write, but there’s something about those activities that can make you feel more alive. I think it is because when you’re reading or writing, you’re actively engaging more of your brain than if you’re just staring at a screen watching mindless videos. (Don’t get me wrong, mindless videos have their place especially when I’m sick. I just don’t think they promote better wellness.) I know that for me, reading promotes wellness because it is so engaging and to a degree has me thinking instead of just responding especially if I’m reading a mystery or piece that promotes rhetorical thinking. I also believe that writing is one of the things that keeps me the most sane whether it is for this blog, a brain dump, gratitude journal, or friendly note to someone. For me reading and writing wellness keep my brain from becoming mush! Figuratively of course!

Those are my thoughts on promoting wellness. What are your Wellness Wednesday thoughts?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Exhaustion Isn’t a Strong Enough Word…

As I was trying to gather my thoughts this evening, I saw this post that someone had shared on Facebook from Education to the Core. What I was struggling to put into words, this picture sums up perfectly. By the end of each day, this is currently how I feel. Why? Because I care.

On the surface caring seems like a great thing. It’s good to care about others and to follow the golden rule of doing unto others as you would have them do to you. It can also be absolutely exhausting. On a typical day, these are things (some overlap and many occur multiple times) that I care about at some point during the day:

  1. Am I being a good mom to LilKsby even though I’m so tired when I get home that there are days I just want to sit and stare at the wall?
  2. Am I being a good wife Mr Kisby by helping around the house and with LilKsby?
  3. Am I going to feel worse about going to bed early and getting physical rest than I would if I did everything I need to get done?
  4. Am I disappointing others when I’m not good company to be around because I’m so exhausted (and some days defeated feeling) after work?
  5. Am I disappointing others when I say “no” to things?
  6. Am I protecting my family from the virus the best I can while maintaining some “peace of mind”?
  7. Am I not looking at the costs of short term “peace of mind” in the long term picture?
  8. Am I selfish for wanting time to “do nothing” and attempt to just relax and have fun?
  9. Am I the only one wearing a mask in public because I care about the health of those around me?
  10. Am I the only one that hasn’t resumed all “normal” activities because there’s still a pandemic going on in the world?
  11. Am I doing any good by washing my clothes and showering as soon as I get home?
  12. Am I following the most correct, most up to date guidance from trusted officials?
  13. Am I the only one that five weeks into school still feels like I don’t know what’s really going on around me on pretty much a daily basis?
  14. Am I protecting my students from Covid?
  15. Am I cleaning their work areas thoroughly enough?
  16. Am I forgetting to clean things that should be obvious high touch points?
  17. Am I sanitizing my own hands enough to prevent spread?
  18. Am I sanitizing my hands so much that it scares my students?
  19. Am I instructing my students in a way that is effective while protecting them from illness?
  20. Am I sanitizing the Chromebook that I take from class to class enough?
  21. Am I doing a good enough job of hiding my emotions every time a student asks a “what if” scenario that I don’t know how to answer?
  22. Am I being a good model in regards to mask practices?
  23. Am I following every “normal” school policy while also implementing all the pandemic policies?
  24. Are my students getting their basic needs met (adequate food, shelter, etc) on their “at home” days?
  25. Am I the only one who wants to shut off thoughts about the day and enjoy home once there that can’t do it?

I fully realize that sometimes right now it may seem like I don’t care. The truth is the exact opposite. I care so much that it is absolutely exhausting emotionally and mentally (sometimes physically) on a daily basis. I think that’s why I like being home so much and find it fun to engage in virtual activity. It allows me to attempt to forget my cares, which could be interchanged with my worries, for just a fraction of time within the safety of my own home.

So until the pandemic quells, I’m going to do my best to not be like Kermit in the meme as I know no one will ever go for work a day, off a day, work a day, off a day schedule. I’m going to attempt to do my best for others while not neglecting myself, and I’m going to try to be the best me I can be. Wish me luck!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby