Help Wanted: Stay At Home Parent

Remember the days of classified ads in the newspaper? They would have “Help Wanted” in giant lettering followed by a quick job description. The descriptions were usually vague, but they gave enough info to tell you whether or not you should submit a resume or make a call. As time evolved and more jobs went to being listed online, the descriptions became more detailed. My favorite part was always “additional duties as needed” because that usually meant something you would never willingly want to do. However, those job descriptions at least gave people a detailed idea of what to except. Plus, anyone can lookup an online job description and have a general idea of what a person in a specific job does. Lately, I’ve been thinking about my job of Stay At Home Parent, and I’ve realized that many people have no idea just what all a stay at home parent does.

To the outside world, sometimes I believe people think that my life as a stay at home parent predominantly involves going fun places, posting a lot on social media, and playing all day. While we do go a lot of places, I can assure you that if I’m posting an abundant amount it means someone is sick, and I’m sitting and snuggling them all day. Also, while we play a lot, there is a lot of butting heads too especially since LilKsby seems to have both of mine and Mr Kisby’s stubbornness and sass. Thus, for the outside world, here’s a little “job description” of my life as a stay at home parent (note that each stay at home parents job will vary).

  • Skill Requirements – flexibility, patience, kindness, loving heart, ability to say I’m sorry, ability to forgive, playfulness, planner of trips/activities, and more!
  • Appointment Maker – includes but is not limited to scheduling doctors appointments, dental checkups, eye exams, playdates, home maintenance/repairs, car maintenance/repairs, special events, and services such as large item trash pickup. This duty requires some organizational skills and a good planner/calendar.
  • Household Tasks – includes but is not limited to vacuuming, sweeping, dishes, some laundry, some cooking, scooping poop (we have cats…no people are pooping on the floor), straightening rooms, cleaning out expired items, packing up items for donation/yard sale, ordering groceries, and preparing for vacations. This duty can be gross and requires much patience if you don’t like cleaning.
  • Chauffeur/Runner – includes but is not limited to driving people, pets, or vehicles to appointments, running errands, driving to Parent & Kid Groups, and driving to various activities. Having a good concept of where things are located with and without GPS is a necessity for this duty!
  • Caretaker – includes but is not limited to giving snuggles and hugs for boo boos, special care when a household member is sick, making sure wellness needs are met for people and pets, and ensuring people feel loved and appreciated. Knowing your family’s love languages helps.
  • Homeschool Teacher (this one may not be for everyone, but it is for us) – includes but is not limited to curriculum planning, implementing instructional time, researching best practices and methodologies, attending homeschool functions, assessing progress, and attending conventions to further your own abilities

In addition to the basic duties, I’ve also added to my stay at home parent plate by working independent contractor jobs from home. If you’re wondering how do I balance it all, here is the answer: I don’t. Some months I hardly touch the work from home part which can leave me scrambling near the end of month or coming up shorter than desired. However, when striving to live faith, family, career (which is 100% a constant work in progress because it can be HARD to put faith and family before personal career goals after spending 21 years in the workplace). Also, I’ve added the duty of gardener because I feel it is important for LilKsby to know how to grow his own vegetables (the flowers are because they are pretty). The biggest duty and one of the most difficult is finding just five minutes a day to do something for yourself. Like any other job, being a stay at home parent requires sacrifice. Many times you sacrifice the things you want to do for the benefit of others. However, it is important to never lose sight of doing things you enjoy. So take a few minutes to play that video game, read a book, watch TV, put together your adult Legos, write, pursue an artistic endeavor…do something that makes you who you were created to be!!!

So there you have it: a Stay at Home Parent Job description. Is it complete? Nope. Something will always get added. However, it does provide a glimpse of what all the job entails. To all the stay at home parents, you’re doing a great job!!!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

39 While 39 – Complete

If you’ve been with me for a while, then you know two things. One, last year I sat out to complete 39 fun things while 39 years old. Two, tomorrow I turn 40. I’m excited to say that I’ve completed 39 things!!! I’ve actually completed a lot more than that, but I finished my list. You will note that my list changed throughout the year. This is a reflection of my own personal growth throughout the year. My most important takeaway has been that it is okay to change what you want in life because that is a sign that you’re growing! I’m so happy with how much I’ve grown over the last year and how much I’ve begun living by my priorities. I could get very philosophical about this, but instead I’ll share my accomplished list!

✓ Ride a roller coaster – rode a couple of them at Dollywood. Wooden roller coasters are still my favorite!

✓ Ride a train – also happened at Dollywood! It was beautiful looking down at all the Christmas lights!

✓ Finish the green and gold dress – I started creating this dress in 2012 when we still played Amtgard. When we stopped, I stopped. Now it is finished, and it is beautiful!

✓ Take a vacation – We took several! Made it to Pigeon Forge area twice, America’s Historical Triangle, Nashville, and Rough River. Looking forward to more travel this year!

✓ Sushimas – First once since 2019! I loved seeing all of our friends and bringing back traditions!

✓ Bet on the Derby – Felt so grown up to bet on the race from my phone. Looking forward to getting my $9 check!

✓ Go kayaking – Nothing like being out on the water to make you feel one with the universe!

✓ Finish Baby Books – LilKsby is turning 4 soon, so I’m elated to say I finally had time to finish his books!

✓ Play pool – I love playing pool! Did this on my birthday last year and in Gatlinburg!

✓ Go to a cave – We had the wonderful opportunity to take our nephew to Mammoth Cave last summer.

✓ Enter a competition for creativity – I’ve always wanted to enter a Christmas tree competition! I came in like 12th out of 31!

✓ Calendar Album – Made an album out of all the calendars LilKsby has made for presents.

✓ Complete 1 Year Frame – I had bought one of these my first year frames before LilKsby was born. Finally completed it!

✓ See Dr Strange 2 – Fun movie!

✓ See Thor Love and Thunder – Great movie!

✓ Read 12 Books – Finished 13 and have started 14!

✓ Watch Young Sheldon 3 and 4 – Glad I did because Seasons 5 and 6 have been amazing!

✓ Watch Step By Step – Great throwback to my childhood!

✓ Go to GenCon Online – Gaming is fun in person and online!

✓ Wedding Scrapbook – After almost 11 years, mine and Mr Kisby’s wedding scrapbook is complete!

✓ Order a t-shirt quilt – Wanted to do this for years! Can’t wait to get it back!

✓ Go to an art museum – Virtually visited the Van Gogh Museum!

✓ Make a state fair entry – have a few ready to go!

✓ Go to Gatlinburg – Great trip! Highly recommend Cade’s Cove!

✓ Go to the Tulip Farm – Beautiful local farm! Love supporting friends!

✓ Complete 10 Coursera Classes – took classes for fun and business!

✓ Complete 5 paintings – painted for myself and Christmas gifts!

✓ Go to JR Neighbors – I’m proud of us for trying something new.

✓ See the BSB DNA Tour – Amazing show with amazing people!

✓ Complete NANOWRIMO – Loved starting this book! Can’t wait to edit and publish!

✓ Go to a winery – Not only did I go to one, I also became a member!

✓ Write Letters for Book – Completed a book with letters from me to Lil Kisby!

✓ Watch The Game Season 2 – This show is epic! There needs to be a Season 3!

✓ Finish a Bible Study – Learned about love being the greatest gift of all!

✓ Go to a pumpkin activity – We went to the Pumpkin Wagon!

✓ Try a salt cave or salt room – So relaxing! I’ve been twice now!

✓ Write 10 fan letters – This was so fun! I never got any responses, but it was fun to do!

✓ Get a Casey’s Taco Pizza – My favorite pizza! I only get them when going west. Hope yo have another soon!

✓ Go to the State Fair – worked it and went as a guest! Love it!

Not on the list? Transitioning from full time working mom to stay at home/work from home mom. Hands down the thing I did while 39 that has helped me be a better wife, mother, and person while also improving my mental and physical health. I challenge all of you to take risks, do things you enjoy, and make your next year the best year!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Homeschool Here We Go!

Yesterday, we officially started our homeschooling journey! LilKsby is officially working on PreK at home with me as his teacher. Already, we are both learning some great things! Here’s a snapshot:

1. LilKsby can tell you what street we live on and the streets his grandparents live on by memory. He’s also working on our exact address. Although right now he’s saying a 9 instead of a 5, so hopefully no one shows up at the neighbor’s house down the street looking for us!

2. I have to work on patience. I’m used to teaching high schoolers who are juniors and seniors. Now I’m working with a toddler. There’s a lot that he can’t do just because he’s not learned basics yet. I have to remember that when he doesn’t recognize something right away.

3. LilKsby is taking the first steps towards reading! Yesterday, he started recognizing the word “Friday” in multiple places! He was even more stoked when today actually was Friday!

4. I’m pretty sure he’s going to be left handed, so I’ve really got to work on my own left handed skills. Hooray for being ambidextrous! At least that’s a start.

5. LilKsby enjoys yoga, and hearing him say “Namaste” is adorable. Equally adorable? He told me he wants to be Santa Claus when he grows up!

6. The flexibility I’ve always used when lessons don’t go as planned in the classroom and for tutoring will need to be used in the homeschool setting. Yesterday, I was attempting to assess his levels, and we had to take lots of breaks because he just wasn’t having it. Guess how we got through it? Lots of positive praise!!!

7. LilKsby loves “Pete and Cat” as he calls Pete the Cat. To be fair, the illustrations are amazing, and the stories are a lot of fun! We had to reread yesterday’s Pete the Cat during story time, and we had to watch the YouTube version! I love that he’s already taking ownership of his lessons!

8. I am excited to plan our lessons! Teaching him is fun because everything is new!!!

I’m looking forward to our homeschool journey, and I’m super excited to see how LilKsby continues to progress! If there are any resources you think I need to checkout, please post them in the comments!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Instagram: thegreatkaysby

10, 7, 5 Principle!

This evening I was listening to a recent conference from my direct selling business, and there was a concept that really stuck out to me. In 2017, Pamela Waldrop Shaw discussed three things that drive change. Her three things were as follows: 10 – Significant Events, 7 Critical Decisions, and 5 Influential People. When I heard this, I immediately thought about the recent change in my life to Work From Home Mama and how the 10, 7, 5 Principle applied to that change. Here is my reflection so that you can see the Principle in application!

10 Significant Events

  1. First Pregnancy & Miscarriage – 2018
  2. Princess Court of Sales Achievement – 2018
  3. Second Pregnancy – 2018 and 2019
  4. Birth of LilKsby – 2019
  5. Mr Kisby Layoff – 2019
  6. Covid Pandemic – 2020-Present
  7. Pandemic Teaching – 2020-2022
  8. Mr Kisby Graduates – 2021
  9. Mr Kisby New Job – 2022
  10. Social Issues and Injustices – Ongoing

7 Critical Decisions

  1. Mr Kisby deciding to go to school instead of finding “just another job”.
  2. Keeping LilKsby at home during the 2020-21 school year. This made me realize how much I longed to be at home with him.
  3. Realizing that I don’t like being made to feel expendable. Also the existential dread associated with starting the last two school years during Covid peaks was mentally overwhelming to me.
  4. Deciding that homeschool feels like the best option for us as we want our child to grow up with an education that reflects our values. This means more than just intertwining faith and academics. It means teaching equality, respect, fairness, and how to be an ally!!!
  5. Determining that an abundance of money is not as important as living a fulfilled life by our priorities. Yes, I know things cost money. Yes, I know you have to have enough money. Yes, we like to play the lottery. However, money is not the most important thing to us.
  6. Realizing that it is more important to live by our priorities than the priorities others give us.
  7. Making the choice to leave teaching after 11 years.

5 Influential People

  1. The Holy Trinity – I prayed a lot over the decision to make the change from teaching to work from home mama. Ultimately I was able to follow what was put on my heart, and even though my brain wants to panic sometimes, I’m doing my best to follow FAITH over Fear! When change is imminent, I highly recommend praying to your Deity. Not religious? Then I recommend lots of self reflection!
  2. Mr Kisby – My husband, my partner in life, my biggest cheerleader!
  3. LilKsby – My Sweet Boy and the one who learns more from watching us than anything else.
  4. Homeschool Friends – I see the magnificent wonders they have worked in their children’s lives, and that is what I want for LilKsby.
  5. Entrepreneur Friends – Seeing them live their truths by their priorities is impacting!

So there you have the 10, 7, 5 principle! My 10, 7, 5 spanned a four year time period. For others their time period might be longer, and for some it might be shorter. Also, a lot more than 5 people influenced me, but that gives you the concept. As I’m embarking on this change, I think it is good to reflect. It keeps the perspective fresh and the path set right.

What change are you contemplating?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

15 Years and I Still Get Butterflies

Photo by Cindy Gustafson on Pexels.com

I’ve been in direct sales for a little over 15 years, and I frequently get asked two questions: 1) Where is your pink car? 2) Do you still do that makeup thing?

I always answer the first one with a smile, and a response of we haven’t earned a car yet. To the second one, I always say, “Yep!” with a big grin. People always seem amazed that I’ve stuck with it for so long, and they tend to tell me a story of “well most people I know only do it for x.” I usually smile and tell them I’m not most people. Which is also very true. A lot of people would probably quit if they hadn’t felt like they had moved up the career path enough or shown enough profits. You know what keeps me going? Simple…after 15 years, I still get butterflies of excitement about my business!

Now let me clarify. That doesn’t mean that there haven’t been moments of doubt; that doesn’t mean that there haven’t been moments of thinking I’m never going to be a success because I compare myself to others (which is a whole different topic for another day). It also doesn’t mean that there aren’t parts of the business that I dread. For real, even after 15 years making phone calls can still be daunting to me and seem like a life or death task. I’m also still not good at keeping up with the clerical parts even though I have a business management degree. Although really that degree taught me what to do to be a success in management; it didn’t teach me to have an organized personality! Anyone who knows me knows that organized chaos is my preferred organizational strategy. LOL

Stronger than any of those negatives have been the positives of the last 15 years. One, I’ve traveled to places I never thought I would. For that matter, I flew on an airplane which is another thing I never thought I’d do. (Irrational fear is also a topic for another day.) Two, I have made friends all over the country because of my business. It’s so cool to know so many supportive people in a variety of places! Along with this, I have had the opportunity to get “paid to play” with products that I absolutely love! All of these things – the travel opportunities, the friendships that are like family, and products – still get me excited!

I’m even excited right now! As I type there are butterflies in my stomach because our virtual conference is starting in 13 minutes! Even though I’ve been to a ton of our educational events, I still get butterflies because I’m so excited for them! Do you get that excited about events for your job? Does your job still give you butterflies even after many years in business? If the answer is no, maybe it’s time to rediscover what gives you butterflies!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Virtual Victories

Photo Credit Free Photo Library

Today I had the opportunity to participate in Ignite 2022, a virtual conference for one of my careers. I know there are a lot of people excited to return to in-person conferences, but I not so secretly hope that virtual conferences are here to stay. In fact, I believe that in some ways virtual conferences are better than in-person. Why? I’m glad you asked! Drum roll please…channels Dave Letterman… “And now, Top 10 Virtual Victories!”

Number 10 – Woke Up in My Bed – Some hotel beds are really nice, but I am much more rested when I get to wake up in my bed with my pillow that knows my head. Plus, not to sound all Goldilocks, but my mattress is just right!

Number 9 – Last Minute for the Win – I am a last minute person which can be problematic with in person conferences. In fact it’s usually why I’m late to the first session of the morning. But with virtual, I’m always on time even if I get out of the shower ten minutes before go time!

Number 8 Fewer Distractions – Most of the time I have the attention span of a goldfish. There are times that talking to me is very reminiscent of talking to Dory in Finding Nemo. With virtual conferences, I can provide myself with the accommodations that I need for success like a quiet room, non distracting lighting, and stretch breaks to regain focus. I can also watch sitting or standing which can help me.

Number 7 No Parking Issues – in my garage my car always has a spot! I don’t have to fret over where I’m going to park, if the Valet is going to lose my car (it happened once but that’s a story for another day), or how much parking costs!

Number 6 Comfy Chair – can we all agree that most conference seats are not meant for bigger people? As a bigger person height and weight wise, I always feel like I’m sitting on the people next to me. I always feel uncomfortable when I feel like I’m up in somebody else’s business. Also, I’ve got back issues, so being at home in my own chair saves me from a post conference chiropractor appointment!

Number 5 – No Idle Chit Chat – I’m what one would call an extroverted introvert. I am good at being social, and I enjoy it in the right doses and settings. However, big events like conferences, open houses, vendor fairs, etc drain my battery. I enjoy them while they are happening, but afterwards I need time to recuperate mentally and emotionally.

Number 4Dress Up from the Waist Up – I spent the whole conference in pajama pants! From the waist up I had on a nice shirt, cardigan, jewelry, and makeup done. However, I had on comfy pants! Also, I didn’t have to wear shoes! Wearing shoes all day is for the birds!

Number 3 Best Concession Stand Ever – Imagine a concession stand with no waiting where water doesn’t cost $4 a bottle and only favorite foods are served! That’s right, the best concession stand is my own kitchen! This concession stand served Caesar salad, pomegranates, Diet Coke, and water! Glad it was all free because I drank 4 bottles of water!!! Best part? I didn’t have to worry about things I won’t eat or am allergic to! My concession stand rocks!

Number 2 No Line at the Ladies Room – Any time I had to go to the bathroom, there was no line! I could just walk right in my own bathroom and go! Bonus? No questionable droplets on the toilet seat and no cringing because people for some reason forget how to flush in public!

Number 1 – Time With Family – When I attend virtual conferences I get to see my husband and toddler IMMEDIATELY when it is over. There’s no travel time where I’m super antsy and irritable because I miss them so much. All I have to do is leave my office! Approximately 10 steps from my office to my hugs!

What are your top Virtual Victory for Virtual Conferences?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby