workingmama – The Great Kaysby

10, 7, 5 Principle!

This evening I was listening to a recent conference from my direct selling business, and there was a concept that really stuck out to me. In 2017, Pamela Waldrop Shaw discussed three things that drive change. Her three things were as follows: 10 – Significant Events, 7 Critical Decisions, and 5 Influential People. When I heard this, I immediately thought about the recent change in my life to Work From Home Mama and how the 10, 7, 5 Principle applied to that change. Here is my reflection so that you can see the Principle in application!

10 Significant Events

First Pregnancy & Miscarriage – 2018
Princess Court of Sales Achievement – 2018
Second Pregnancy – 2018 and 2019
Birth of LilKsby – 2019
Mr Kisby Layoff – 2019
Covid Pandemic – 2020-Present
Pandemic Teaching – 2020-2022
Mr Kisby Graduates – 2021
Mr Kisby New Job – 2022
Social Issues and Injustices – Ongoing

7 Critical Decisions

Mr Kisby deciding to go to school instead of finding “just another job”.
Keeping LilKsby at home during the 2020-21 school year. This made me realize how much I longed to be at home with him.
Realizing that I don’t like being made to feel expendable. Also the existential dread associated with starting the last two school years during Covid peaks was mentally overwhelming to me.
Deciding that homeschool feels like the best option for us as we want our child to grow up with an education that reflects our values. This means more than just intertwining faith and academics. It means teaching equality, respect, fairness, and how to be an ally!!!
Determining that an abundance of money is not as important as living a fulfilled life by our priorities. Yes, I know things cost money. Yes, I know you have to have enough money. Yes, we like to play the lottery. However, money is not the most important thing to us.
Realizing that it is more important to live by our priorities than the priorities others give us.
Making the choice to leave teaching after 11 years.

5 Influential People

The Holy Trinity – I prayed a lot over the decision to make the change from teaching to work from home mama. Ultimately I was able to follow what was put on my heart, and even though my brain wants to panic sometimes, I’m doing my best to follow FAITH over Fear! When change is imminent, I highly recommend praying to your Deity. Not religious? Then I recommend lots of self reflection!
Mr Kisby – My husband, my partner in life, my biggest cheerleader!
LilKsby – My Sweet Boy and the one who learns more from watching us than anything else.
Homeschool Friends – I see the magnificent wonders they have worked in their children’s lives, and that is what I want for LilKsby.
Entrepreneur Friends – Seeing them live their truths by their priorities is impacting!

So there you have the 10, 7, 5 principle! My 10, 7, 5 spanned a four year time period. For others their time period might be longer, and for some it might be shorter. Also, a lot more than 5 people influenced me, but that gives you the concept. As I’m embarking on this change, I think it is good to reflect. It keeps the perspective fresh and the path set right.

What change are you contemplating?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

15 Years and I Still Get Butterflies

I’ve been in direct sales for a little over 15 years, and I frequently get asked two questions: 1) Where is your pink car? 2) Do you still do that makeup thing?

I always answer the first one with a smile, and a response of we haven’t earned a car yet. To the second one, I always say, “Yep!” with a big grin. People always seem amazed that I’ve stuck with it for so long, and they tend to tell me a story of “well most people I know only do it for x.” I usually smile and tell them I’m not most people. Which is also very true. A lot of people would probably quit if they hadn’t felt like they had moved up the career path enough or shown enough profits. You know what keeps me going? Simple…after 15 years, I still get butterflies of excitement about my business!

Now let me clarify. That doesn’t mean that there haven’t been moments of doubt; that doesn’t mean that there haven’t been moments of thinking I’m never going to be a success because I compare myself to others (which is a whole different topic for another day). It also doesn’t mean that there aren’t parts of the business that I dread. For real, even after 15 years making phone calls can still be daunting to me and seem like a life or death task. I’m also still not good at keeping up with the clerical parts even though I have a business management degree. Although really that degree taught me what to do to be a success in management; it didn’t teach me to have an organized personality! Anyone who knows me knows that organized chaos is my preferred organizational strategy. LOL

Stronger than any of those negatives have been the positives of the last 15 years. One, I’ve traveled to places I never thought I would. For that matter, I flew on an airplane which is another thing I never thought I’d do. (Irrational fear is also a topic for another day.) Two, I have made friends all over the country because of my business. It’s so cool to know so many supportive people in a variety of places! Along with this, I have had the opportunity to get “paid to play” with products that I absolutely love! All of these things – the travel opportunities, the friendships that are like family, and products – still get me excited!

I’m even excited right now! As I type there are butterflies in my stomach because our virtual conference is starting in 13 minutes! Even though I’ve been to a ton of our educational events, I still get butterflies because I’m so excited for them! Do you get that excited about events for your job? Does your job still give you butterflies even after many years in business? If the answer is no, maybe it’s time to rediscover what gives you butterflies!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

What This Working Mama Wants ❤️

Growing up it was always emphasized to my generation that women can be anything they want. They can have a career; in fact they can have any career a man can have perhaps with the exception of penis model. They can live on their own and live the single life ala Sex and the City; they can live with roommates; they can cohabitate with a domestic partner. They can even go the more traditional route and pursue marriage and children. At some point, I’ve pretty much covered all these bases with feeling totally fine about the fact that I can’t be a penis model. Although for me the single life was nothing like Sex and the City, partially because I prefer video games to bars.

The most fulfilling of all the things I’ve been? The role of mama! There’s truly nothing like it! As a working mama and wife, I’m not good at doing the traditional “wife jobs”. Partially because I don’t have a lot of time, but also because I’m not big on a lot of domestic things. My restaurant receipts alone will tell you that I’m more Stephanie Plum than Samantha Stephens in the kitchen! Many may think that the shear fact that women like me can have it all is all we want. However, while I enjoy having the possibilities, there are other things I want as a working mama!

The number one thing I want as a working mama? The gift of time with my family. On a typical work day, I leave at 7 am and pick LilKsby up between 4 and 4:30. That’s 9 to 9 1/2 hours without him. When we get home, we have dinner, bath, and he is usually asleep by 7. This means when you factor in the half hour I see him before work, I only see my child for approximately 3 1/2 hours per day five days a week. That’s not the kind of math I like. So, my number one want? More time with family!

I also want to have an irrational emotional/mental meltdown every once in a while as someone listens to me vent. I am very lucky to have Mr Kisby and friends that allow this. If I didn’t, I might go crazy. The feeling split between being a great employee (especially in a field that requires a great deal of compassion and is constantly being put down and under minded by legislation) and being the best mama and spouse possible can be exhausting physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am amazed at the people who do it without ever having a come apart because I’ve got to let it out sometimes!

The last thing I want? This one may sound selfish, but self care isn’t selfish. I need time to just be me. It’s really easy to forget who you are when you’re consumed by being a mama, wife, and worker. It can be easy to lose yourself when you’re busy taking care of other people. That’s why I think it’s important to take time and enjoy things you like doing. This is why I read, write, create, and play video games. It’s important to me to still have time for things that I enjoy; it’s important to have time for the things that make me who I am! I truly believe that when I am my best me, then I can be my best in every other role that I have!

I could get into a lot more universal issues that I want as a working mama, but I feel like those pertain to lots of mamas and not just me. Maybe other mamas have the same wants as me. Maybe I just wanted to write about my thoughts today. Either way, I hope this some inspires you or helps you reflect on what you want.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby