"My soul is full of longing for the secret of the sea, and the heart of the great ocean sends a thrilling pulse through me." – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Does this picture bring you joy? If you’re a cat person like me or just a fan of chunky orange kitties, then the answer is yes. Let’s say you aren’t a cat person (hard for me to understand, but we’re all different). What kind of photo would bring you joy? Is it a photo if the beach? Maybe a photo of a favorite childhood place? As you’re thinking about the photo, start thinking about the emotions that it brings you. Are you smiling to yourself as you think about it?
Little exercises like this are one of the simplest ways to remind yourself of the things that bring you joy. Another good exercise? Making a list of all the things that bring you joy. Writing out a list can remind you of things you forgot that you loved. It may even remind you that you just love to make lists! I’m sure someone reading this is like, “Making lists is fun? What? No.” Then there are people like me going, “YES! I love making lists! Can I check things off the list too?”
There are tons of other exercises out there for feeling joy. Also, I’m by no means an expert. After a joy filled night, I just felt like sharing a little advice for finding your joy. What is your favorite way to find joy?
I started writing about the topic below during a five minute free write and decided to expand on it.
CS Lewis once said, “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” Personally, I like this quote. As someone who has missed a lot of goals, I feel like this quote give me hope. From this quote, I know that I can “reset” so to speak and still reach goals. For example, I spent several days of 2023 eating well (yes, I realize we are only 9 days into the year). Today, I had McDonalds twice. This doesn’t mean I’m going to always eat badly. I can start again tomorrow and still achieve desired weight loss. (End free write portion.)
Who else can relate to already having slacked a little on one of their goals? I don’t know how many readers are raising their hands, but I’m here to tell you that it is okay if you’ve already experienced bumps in the road. One of the greatest lessons we can get from goal setting is learning to overcome obstacles. Learning to overcome obstacles is a key in life as it teaches us perseverance and bounce back ability. Overcoming obstacles also teaches us that sometimes we have to be okay with losing. Learning to be okay with losing helps us to keep going and striving for the end in the long run. I’ve long said that the “Everyone gets a trophy mentality” is detrimental to learning how to cope and move forward. Judging by the quote, I’m guessing CS Lewis felt the same way!
So if you are struggling with your goals, take this as your Monday Motivation and get back on the proverbial horse! You can do it! I believe in you!
When my uncle passed away unexpectedly in 2012, the medical staff asked if we wanted to donate his organs. We said yes, but we weren’t sure they would be able to use any of them. He had passed from a second massive heart attack and had been on dialysis treatments for more years than I can recall, had lost toes and was mostly blind from complications of diabetes. We were rather sure they wouldn’t be able to use anything. Sometime later my dad received a note saying that my uncle’s corneas had been transplanted. We were all astonished that a blind man had been able to give another person sight! What an amazing gift!
For some reason I started thinking of this today, and it reminded me that we all have gifts that can unexpectedly help others. These gifts could be natural talents that we use to entertain and bring smiles or make clothes to give to those in need. The gift could also be time. It could be as simple as spending time with a loved one or as dedicated as volunteering each week with a given organization. Perhaps the best gift is the gift of listening. When you truly listen to someone, you can hear what they are really saying. What’s the old saying? You have two ears and one mouth for a reason! There are so many gifts that can unexpectedly bless people. What gifts do you possess that could be an unexpected blessing?
Once again I am writing this as I reflect on a portion of Coursera class that I’m taking. At this moment, I am watching a video (it is paused for reflection) with Rabbi Patricia Karlin-Neumann about love as viewed through Judaism. One of the points of reflection was this: think about how love replenishes where as anger and outrage diminish. What a true sentiment!
Think about it. When people feel anger and fits of outrage, how are they often left? I know for me that while in the moment a fit of anger might make me feel better, in the long run anger and outrage make me feel depleted of energy and wanting to avoid human interaction. In our modern technology and social media driven society, anger even makes me want to avoid interaction via social media. Frankly, I’m glad that I’m not an overly angry person because I feel like that would be mentally and physically exhausting.
Love on the other hand, I could express love all day! Expressions of love fill my cup so to speak. When something is done in love, it brings the biggest smile to my face! It also empowers and makes me want to do more. There is something super energizing about love. I also love the feeling associated with altruistic love that comes with doing activities that lead to making the world a better place. I could talk all day about the goodness that comes from love, but I think the summation of it would be this: love keeps us going! Love gives us life!
I’m writing this as I sit in my car after a yoga class. As I was practicing at a local studio this morning, I realized why I love yoga so much. Of course, I thoroughly enjoy the wellness benefits of yoga. I truly believe yoga helps you mentally, physically, and spiritually. Seriously, there’s nothing like the calm of yoga for talking with God (or your chosen deity)! The biggest reason I love yoga? It is a safe space! At yoga everyone is welcoming and kind to you. Today, I met new people who were so caring, and they invited me back again with no qualms! Additionally, no one judges you for how you practice, your level of ability, or appearance. A yoga studio is one of the most freeing spaces in the world. When you leave, you feel recharged and rejuvenated because you’ve been in a safe space to be yourself and improve yourself. If you’re looking for a safe space, then try a yoga class.
Is there anything more beautiful than fall? The landscapes are a plethora of bright colors that delight the eyes, and the crisp, gentle breeze tickles you with a mix of winter’s chill and summer’s warmth. The sounds of nature are melodious, and the scent of nature is clean and fresh like everything. Fall may be bustling with activity, but there is a beautiful sense of calm associated with it. It’s like you know that exciting happenings are just around the corner at every turn!
But wait! What about winter? Is there anything more beautiful than a fresh winter snow? There’s something gorgeous about the silence that comes with great snow on the ground. It’s deafening yet musical. There’s also something beautiful about the innocence of snow. It’s a blank canvas untainted by the world around it! Also, winter means fuzzy blankets, fireplaces, and hot cocoa! Those are some of the best feelings ever!
But wait! What about spring? Is there anything more beautiful than spring? There’s something renewing for the soul in seeing the first blooms of spring! There’s also nothing like the fragrant aromas of fresh flowers, trees blooming, and grass cut for the first time! In spring, music is made by the thawing cold and animals awaking from their slumber! It’s also one of the brightest and most pleasing to the eye times of year!
But wait! What about summer? No feeling can compare to the warm summer sun on your face. It makes you feel comforted and loved yet also like a small piece of the greater whole. There’s also nothing like a warm summer rain to leave you feeling refreshed and youthful. There is no laughter as joy filled as that of laughter while dancing in the rain!
Is there anything more beautiful than having four seasons? In nature nothing can compare to how Mother Nature can impact all of the senses all the time!
This was written as I stood staring at the foliage over a lake and listening to nature. 😊 The. It started raining on me, and I returned to the car!
Have you ever researched the stories of successful people? If you have, then you know that no matter their field, successful people tend to utilize positive affirmations. I know it can seem silly and even embarrassing to talk out loud to yourself and tell yourself how awesome you are. In fact, when I first heard about the concept of positive affirmation, I thought it was absolutely nuts. Turns out I’m wrong, and there is even some science to prove it! (Seriously, check this out for more info: https://positivepsychology.com/daily-affirmations/) Plus, after many years of using them on and off, I must admit that things just seem to work out better when I’m using positive affirmations!
So let’s say you’ve realized the benefits of positive affirmations, and you want to start using them. Sometimes the hardest thing is coming up with your affirmation. One option is to Google positive affirmations. However, sometimes those can seem cliche. If you’re looking to get started, here are some that you can use or adapt to fit your needs.
I am confident!
I am courageous!
I am abundantly blessed! (For added impact say the ways you’re blessed out loud.)
I am beautiful!
I am capable!
I am powerful!
I am strong!
I am able to overcome any obstacle!
I am smart!
I am creative!
I am passionate!
I can do anything I set my mind to do!
I can be X! (Put your goal in place of the X.)
For extra impact, you can tie an inspirational quote or scripture from your faith to your affirmation. For example, my affirmation might be “I am capable,” and I can tie that to the following quote from Mary Kay Ash: “I can! I will! I must!” Once you’ve got this part squared away, then you have to figure out when to say you’re affirmation. I recommend saying them in the morning to start your day. I also recommend saying them anytime you need a confidence boost during the day. Want the biggest impact? Say them as you’re falling asleep too. This way you go to sleep on a positive note!
Aside from just start saying your positive affirmations, my last piece of advice is to give yourself grace. If you go strong for a week, then you go a month without saying a positive affirmation, know that it is okay. The beauty of positive affirmations is that you can start using them and restart using them as often as you need! You can also change them as your circumstance change!
I can’t wait to hear about what positive affirmations can do for you!
People throw around the phrase “once in a lifetime” a lot. You will hear the phrases “once in a lifetime opportunity” or “once in a lifetime chance” thrown around in advertisements, on social media, etc for a variety of things. I don’t think about them much, but tonight as I was eating, the thought crossed my mind that never again would there be an exact moment like that ever again. For a moment I got sad because I was like “what’s going to go wrong?” That comes from years of anxiety about crazy things that I’m continually working to get out of the habit of. However, I realized that the moment isn’t sad. It’s exciting because right now I’m living a “once in a lifetime” opportunity.
Why am I currently living a “once in a lifetime opportunity”? Because I’m doing some thing that I never would’ve gotten do with people I love had I not been willing to step out on faith and leave my former job. Doing that allowed me the freedom and flexibility to be where I am right now living my best life and getting to experience a true “once in a lifetime” opportunity.
That said, I want to encourage people to find ways to take advantage of the opportunities they are given. They will be full of great surprises, if you can give them a shot! Plus, the world is full of great things! Don’t let them pass you by!
By this point most people have heard of “The Great Resignation.” It is a phenomenon happening in our country where people are leaving jobs in mass. This is not occurring because people don’t want to work (despite what certain groups want you to believe). It is occurring because people want to find work that does more than pay the bills; it is occurring because people want to feel valued and purpose filled. On June 30, I joined “The Great Resignation”.
People who know me know that I’m a hard worker to the point that I’ve been known to work so much it’s bad for my health. With only a few gaps, I’ve spent the last 21 years of my life working. Of those years, 18 were with my last employer in a couple different positions. A lot of great things have occurred in my life involving work. So what changed and led to me joining “The Great Resignation”? In short, I changed.
For me becoming a mom and the Covid pandemic reshaped my priorities. My top priorities have become faith, family, and living by my beliefs along with living a purpose filled life based on said priorities. So when provided the opportunity to become a work from home mom, I couldn’t pass up the chance. I’m still transitioning to work from home life, but I can already say that I’m doing the most rewarding job I’ve ever had.
From my own experience, I encourage you to re-evaluate your priorities. If you’re not living by them, then consider if it is time to find something new. Joining “The Great Resignation” could bring you more joy than you ever knew possible!
Six years ago, I had the idea to make a list of 33 Things that I wanted to accomplish while 33. It was exciting! I then did the same things for 34 and 35. Then along came 36 which included having a baby and the start of a pandemic. The past two years were such a blur of trying to stay healthy and survive Covid that I never allowed myself to make fun goals. I was so obsessed with me and my family members not dying of Covid (because as a semi-hypochondriac you have to know that in my head getting Covid was a death sentence) that I didn’t allow myself to really dream. Well, even though Covid is still a possibility, I’m tired of it running my life. So guess what??? The list is back!!
39 Things While 39
Ride a roller coaster
Ride a train
See the ocean
Take a vacation
Host a cookout
Go camping
Go kayaking
Go to Natural Bridge
Play pool
Go to a cave
Go to Boo At the Zoo
Hike Tioga Falls
Hike Bridges to the Past
See Dr Strange 2
See Thor Love and Thunder
Read 12 Books
Watch Young Sheldon 3 and 4
Watch Step By Step
Go to GenCon Online
Climb the Fire Tower at Bernheim
Sing Karaoke
Go to a Fireworks Show
Go to an art museum
Go to the Friends Experience
Go to the VanGogh Experience
Take a class on cake decorating
Go to an outlet mall
Complete 5 paintings
Go to Jeff Ruby’s
See the BSB DNA Tour
Complete NANOWRIMO
Go to a winery
Go to the horse races
Walk 100 miles (cumulative)
Walk the Big Four Bridge
Go to a casino
Go to Patti’s Settlement
Get a Casey’s Taco Pizza
Go to the State Fair
As you can see, I’ve got a big year ahead of me! What things will you do?
Wow! Today marks another trip around the sun, and I am humbled by how #blessed I am! For the last three days, I’ve celebrated turning 39 with Mr Kisby, LilKsby, and other family members. As a bonus, I’ve received several messages wishing me a happy birthday. All of these have been remarkable reminders of how lucky I am to know so many wonderful people who know how to make a gal feel loved!
After two years of pandemic birthdays, feeling loved was the best treat! If the past two years have taught us anything, they’ve taught us how when we’re stressed by unprecedented pandemics, work, not enough time, not enough money, etc, we can forget to show others how much we love them. It’s not an intentional neglect, but more of an accident due to circumstances. I’m guilty, and I’m sure others are guilty too. Luckily, we can always change our ways and find our way back to showing others how much we love them!
As I enter my final year of my 30s, I must say that I’m super excited! This decade has been the best yet for me, and I’m sure that the next decade will be even better! Bonus, I feel like there are a lot of exciting things just on the horizon! For now, I’m going to concentrate on showing others the love that has been shown me!
Today was Dress Your Dream Job Day for mental health spirit week at my school. To those that know me this may come as a shock, but being a teacher is not my dream job. Teaching is a job that I enjoy most of the time (let’s be real we all have our negative days), but if I could be absolutely anything in the world it would not be my choice. As a child I would’ve have told you that I wanted to be a country music star like Reba; as a teenager I would’ve told you that I wanted to be a lawyer with a house just like Cher’s in Clueless. Those were all jobs that sounded great because I equated success with a lot of money. Nowadays, I equate success with living comfortably (note, I didn’t say rich) and doing a job you love. So what would be my dream job? I have a few!
1. Travel Critic/Travel Planner – I have always loved traveling! For as long as I can remember, I have loved exploring new places. In fact, part of the reason I started this blog was to write about food and travel. You can go back and checkout those early posts for fun! I still think it would be the best job if someone would pay me to travel!
2. Pro-Gamer – I was 5 when the first Nintendo came out, and I have loved video games ever since! I went through a major WoW phase, and I love The Sims (seriously I’m writing because my game is updating)! I also love board games, card games, and tabletop RPGs. If I could get paid to game, that would be a dream come true! I think it would be amazing to just stream myself playing games and have people watch. We started doing this during the pandemic on our Twitch Channel HouseofKs. TheGreatKaysby is also on Twitch!
3. Awareness Advocate – I would love to get paid to give a voice to those without a voice. I want to stand up for what is morally right for those who cannot speak for themselves. This would bring lots of joy to my heart!
4. Samantha Stephens – I want to be Elizabeth Montgomery on Bewitched. If I could twitch my nose and do all of my chores, my house would be immaculate! Also, I love that she dressed up for dinner every night. That alone would give me an excuse to wear my Breakfast at Tiffany’s inspired pearls every day! Bonus? If I’m Samantha Stephens, I can travel by popping in and out of places. Oh, you want a croissant? Let me pop over to Paris and bring one back!
There are also other jobs that I think would be fun to do just once so you can say you’ve done them. For me these include bar tender, yoga instructor, karaoke host, tour guide on a historical tour, and seamstress (I kind of do this voluntarily). All of these would be fun once, but I think they would get old if done day in and day out.
When I was a little kid, I remember flying a kite with my dad in our field. As we played, the kite string broke, and the kite flew away. I was heartbroken! I threw such a fit that my dad pacified me by taking me on a car ride to find the kite. We never found it, and I was devastated. From that moment, I was CONVINCED that I hated flying kites.
Fast forward 30 (or more) years…
Mr Kisby gets a box from Amazon, and says he has a family surprise. Guess what it was? A kite! Immediately I had flashbacks and thought, “ugh, I hate kites.” However, as parents often do, I put on a happy face so that LilKsby would love the kite. A few days later we went to the park, and we flew the kite. To my surprise, I LOVED flying the kite! Watching it soar in the wind, while I laughed squeals of delight and ran around with LilKsby, was a great time!
That joy got me to thinking, did I really hate kites this whole time? No. What I hated was the memory of losing something. The hate of losing has become a life long trend. As I thought about it, I realized that I have allowed a hate of loss to be the reason I fear doing something. Then I remembered that if we let fear run our lives, we will miss out on a lot of great opportunities. Having faith over fear is a hard lesson to practice, and I think that we have to constantly remind ourselves to use it. As a parent, I frequently tell myself to not show fear of certain things because I don’t want my child to pick up on these fears and miss out. That’s a huge catalyst for me, and why I keep striving to live more fearlessly.
I know that’s a huge lesson to get from a kite, but don’t we find the greatest lessons when we aren’t even looking for them?
A few days ago, I did something that took me outside of my comfort zone. For the first time in over two years (aka pre-Covid), I attended a LARGE event. I still wore a mask, and I admittedly was still anxious, but there are some once in a life time opportunities that are worth getting out of your comfort zone to do. For me, that opportunity was the chance to meet William Daniels or as many in my generation know him: Mr. Feeny.
I had seen the advertisements for Mr. Daniels’ appearance at the Lexington Comic and Toy Convention several months ago. Admittedly, I was excited about his appearance from the start. However, numbers were surging with the discovery of Omicron, and there were a lot of factors that seemed very uncertain. Since that time, most everywhere has relaxed Covid guidelines with even the CDC making new recommendations about masks, social distancing, gatherings, etc. Because of this (yes, I’m one of those people who trusts real professionals and not graduates of Google University) I was already becoming more comfortable with starting to do more “normal” activities. Then last Saturday, I saw someone posting about the convention, and I remembered Mr. Daniels’ appearance. Immediately, I knew that I wanted to go, and I went.
As a kid growing up, I watched Boy Meets World and viewed Mr. Feeny through eyes similar to those of Cory, Shawn, and Topanga. I thought he was kind of uptight, but that he had good lessons to teach. As a bonus, he was always there to help them even when they did things that he didn’t think were good choices. No matter what happened, you always knew Mr. Feeny cared about his students. I always liked that kind of teacher. Fast forward, now I am a teacher, and there have been two fictional teachers that I have always sought to be like: Professor John Keating (Dead Poets Society) and Mr. George Feeny.
Both of these characters were EXCEPTIONAL educators. They knew their subject matter more than many of their contemporaries (yes, I know all of the knowledge was in the script). More importantly, they cared about their students. Keating and Feeny taught their students life lessons. They found ways to teach lessons that their students needed to know beyond the classroom in a variety of aspects of life. They were friendly while also establishing clear boundaries. These are the teachers (along with real life teachers like LouAnne Johnson and Jaime Escalante) that many of us have inspired to be like ever since we decided to go into education.
Knowing all of that, I wanted to meet William Daniels. On one level, I wanted to meet him just because I think it is cool to meet celebrities. Yes, I’ve been known to totally FAN GIRL! Along with that, I also wanted to tell him thank you. As we completed our photo op, that’s exactly what I did. I told him, “Thank you for the character of Mr. Feeny. I’m a teacher, and a lot of us look up to him.” Just getting to do that, and seeing him smile at my words, made the whole outing worth it even in these (hopefully) final stages of the pandemic.
I wanted to write all this on Sunday, but I waited until today for a reason. Today is William Daniels’ 95th birthday. So I would love you for to join me in wishing him a happy birthday! From all of those whom you’ve impacted, “Happy Birthday, Mr. Feeny!”
I haven’t practiced yoga in a class since the start of the New Year (there was a great post about it that is worth revisiting); however, a couple of times in the past week, I have done some guided meditation mixed with yoga at home. The mediations have focused on filling in blanks with positive affirmation. For example, during the first mediation I laid in shavasana and inhaled with the thought “I am X”. Then I exhaled with “This is my love song.” For approximately three minutes, I just breathed and told myself positive things about myself. The silent affirmation and mindful breathing were game changing!
Immediately, I felt as though I had more energy! I completed this practice after getting my toddler to sleep, and I felt like it reenergized me and helped me accomplish a lot before bed. Additionally, I felt more grounded and open to receiving positivity into my day. Sometimes we close out the positive unknowingly, and it is important to open ourselves so that we don’t miss golden opportunities. Finally, this practice made me feel more balanced in mind, body, and soul. I connected my physical practice with my chosen spiritual practice, and I could feel them co-existing inside. It’s one thing to present coexistence on the outside, but believing it on the inside is what takes you to the next level. All of this was completed in silence, and I think that silence was the key to the success.
Why silence? When you’re silent, you’re more in tune to yourself and what’s happening around you. Don’t believe me? Ask a person who is successful in a field that interests you. They will most likely tell you that silent reflection helps them to succeed! If you’ve practiced silent reflection, I’d love to hear your successes! If you haven’t tried it, I invite you to do so!
The Great Kaysby 