Mom Life – Page 4 – The Great Kaysby

The Influence of Affluence

Today in one of my classes, we had the students complete a quick write over the hopes and dreams of the lower class versus those of affluence. We gave them two minutes to write, and then we discussed it as a group. I’ve been thinking about this topic ever since this morning, and I feel the need to elaborate on it. The italicized portion is my initial quick write.

The hopes and dreams of the lower class and the affluent may appear the same on a surface level. Everyone wants a roof over their head, plenty of food on the table, enough money to cover their bills, and a better life than the previous generation. However, when digging deeper, the hopes and dreams are very different. For the lower class hopes and dreams may be as simple as a first family member attending and graduating college or joining the military for steady work. On the contrast the more affluent may dream of trips that cost a lower class person’s yearly salary or having more material items.

The more I thought about this topic today; the more I thought about the influence that people of affluence have on the lower classes. I immediately thought of negative or falsified influence. For example, you see the pictures in some magazines and on some websites that taut how celebs are just like us “regular” people. These pictures will be of things like celebrities going to the grocery, working out, or shopping for clothes. On the surface it seems great that “regular” people have something in common with millionaires, but is this accurate? I consider myself a pretty “regular” person, but what a celebrity looks like grocery shopping is totally different than what I look like. First of all, I’m typically shopping for the store brand (aka team Great Value) whereas they are shopping fancy pants brands that I have to Google to know what they are. Likewise, when I work out, it is either at home or outdoors in my spare time. The just like me celebs on the other hand are working out two hours a day with a personal trainer for multiple days a week at their five star gym. Aside from the fact that we’re exercising, we really don’t have anything else in common here. The same could be said for shopping for clothes. I’m happy to shop at Ross and find a bargain while the “just like me” celeb is shopping brands that cost more than my mortgage. Thankfully, I’m happy with my “regular” status, but I feel like some people are negatively influenced by this affluence. Some people tend to rate their personal worth by how they compare with someone of affluence.

Along the same lines, I think it is important to establish that hopes and dreams don’t all involve material things often touted by those of affluence. As an example, I don’t need a new Bentley every year for my birthday. I’m happy to get a new (or even new to me) Kia every ten years. More important to me are dreams like financing LilKsby’s education, taking fun (not necessarily lavish trips) with him and Mr Kisby, and not having to stress about paying bills on time. I don’t need a private jet or an entourage to make myself feel fulfilled in life. Are there big things I’d like to do? Sure. But my life isn’t tragic without them.

All this said, I realize that there are people of affluence that do positive things with their money like donate to charity, finance missions, etc. I’m very thankful for these actions! In fact, I would love to see more about this kind of affluence than so and so’s latest trip to their private island. What do you think about the influence of affluence?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Spring!

Spring has sprung! Is anyone else excited by the grass turning green, flowers starting to bloom, and warmer weather being on the horizon? For those of us who enjoy the great outdoors, Spring is like an old friend that we haven’t seen in ages. We welcome it with open arms and a smile on our face! In the excitement of our reunion, we start to make plans that will carry over into Summer and Fall!

My plan making started as soon as the weather began to improve. Some of the plans are superficial, and some of the plans are adventurous. Nonetheless, all the plans are fun! Since Spring and sunshine have returned, my plans in development have included:

Walks Outside
Wearing Sandals
Planning My Garden
Painting My Toenails
Kayaking
Eating Better
Going to Farmer’s Markets
Sitting on the Porch
Driving with the Windows Down and Blaring Music
Playing Outside
Opening the Windows at Home
Exercising More
Zoo Trips
Travel (since Covid seems to be slowing)
Visiting Parks
My Favorite Outfit #1 – Shorts and Hoodies
My Favorite Outfit #2 – Shorts and Shirts
Amusement Parks
Water Parks
5Ks (love promoting charities and wellness)

There are so many great things to do when Spring starts! Plus, l love having things to look forward to! What plans do you have now that Spring is here?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

500 Hours

“Look deep into nature, and you will understand everything better.” – Albert Einstein

Over the years I’ve seen various challenges to help get people out of their homes and into nature more. One of the most well known challenges involving this is the 1,000 hours outside challenge. I loved the idea, but the math always stopped me from pursuing it. With 365 days in the year, this meant needing to spend 2.7 hours per day outside. My immediate thought was “I can’t do that, I can’t go out when it’s cold.” That may sound like an excuse, but I have a rare condition called cold urticaria that makes going out in the cold difficult. My next thought was “I don’t have enough time to do that when I get home at 4:30, and LilKsby is ready for bed at 6.” Based on my thoughts, I almost gave up on the idea of an outside challenge before I even started it.

Then a light bulb clicked on in my head. I don’t have to do the same outside challenge that everyone else does; I can adapt the challenge to fit my needs!

From that light bulb moment, the challenge became to spend 500 hours outside with LilKsby this year! For a family that spends most of their time indoors, 500 was not a scary goal in my head. Plus, anything is possible when your why is strong enough!

Sometimes knowing your why is difficult. In this case knowing my why is easy. One, even though I spend a lot of time indoors, I believe that there is a calm, peace, and freedom that one can only find outside. Two, I love to walk outside which improves my health physically and mentally. Three, also the most important of these, I want LilKsby to know there is more to life that being indoors tied to a screen. I want him to run and play, climb on things, splash in puddles, and enjoy the beauty of nature. For this goal, my why is clear!

So far in our journey to 500 hours, we have completed 3 hours. That’s not a lot, but guess what? Yesterday – in one afternoon – we tripled what we had previously achieved! All it takes is a little time here and there to reach a goal of 500 hours! The biggest obstacle to overcome for the goal? Overthinking it. I find myself thinking “Where can we go to play outside?” Well, duh self, you just have to go in your own yard! This goal doesn’t require going to a park or a place for hiking (though that is fun too). This goal literally just requires stepping out the door!!!

So as we embark on our journey to achieve 500 hours outside, wish us luck! Pray for minimal sunburns (for real though because the other day I got a little sunburned waiting in the Zaxby’s drive thru for 20 minutes) and bug bites for us! As you’re cheering us on our way, I challenge you to come up with your own 500 hours challenge. I’ll cheer you on!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

What This Working Mama Wants ❤️

Growing up it was always emphasized to my generation that women can be anything they want. They can have a career; in fact they can have any career a man can have perhaps with the exception of penis model. They can live on their own and live the single life ala Sex and the City; they can live with roommates; they can cohabitate with a domestic partner. They can even go the more traditional route and pursue marriage and children. At some point, I’ve pretty much covered all these bases with feeling totally fine about the fact that I can’t be a penis model. Although for me the single life was nothing like Sex and the City, partially because I prefer video games to bars.

The most fulfilling of all the things I’ve been? The role of mama! There’s truly nothing like it! As a working mama and wife, I’m not good at doing the traditional “wife jobs”. Partially because I don’t have a lot of time, but also because I’m not big on a lot of domestic things. My restaurant receipts alone will tell you that I’m more Stephanie Plum than Samantha Stephens in the kitchen! Many may think that the shear fact that women like me can have it all is all we want. However, while I enjoy having the possibilities, there are other things I want as a working mama!

The number one thing I want as a working mama? The gift of time with my family. On a typical work day, I leave at 7 am and pick LilKsby up between 4 and 4:30. That’s 9 to 9 1/2 hours without him. When we get home, we have dinner, bath, and he is usually asleep by 7. This means when you factor in the half hour I see him before work, I only see my child for approximately 3 1/2 hours per day five days a week. That’s not the kind of math I like. So, my number one want? More time with family!

I also want to have an irrational emotional/mental meltdown every once in a while as someone listens to me vent. I am very lucky to have Mr Kisby and friends that allow this. If I didn’t, I might go crazy. The feeling split between being a great employee (especially in a field that requires a great deal of compassion and is constantly being put down and under minded by legislation) and being the best mama and spouse possible can be exhausting physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am amazed at the people who do it without ever having a come apart because I’ve got to let it out sometimes!

The last thing I want? This one may sound selfish, but self care isn’t selfish. I need time to just be me. It’s really easy to forget who you are when you’re consumed by being a mama, wife, and worker. It can be easy to lose yourself when you’re busy taking care of other people. That’s why I think it’s important to take time and enjoy things you like doing. This is why I read, write, create, and play video games. It’s important to me to still have time for things that I enjoy; it’s important to have time for the things that make me who I am! I truly believe that when I am my best me, then I can be my best in every other role that I have!

I could get into a lot more universal issues that I want as a working mama, but I feel like those pertain to lots of mamas and not just me. Maybe other mamas have the same wants as me. Maybe I just wanted to write about my thoughts today. Either way, I hope this some inspires you or helps you reflect on what you want.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Dear Mamas of Miscarriage…

Dear Mamas of Miscarriage,

I know I’ve written to you before, but I wanted to remind you that you’re not traveling this stormy road alone. No matter how long it has been since you lost your little one, I know that you still think of them. Sometimes you think of what they would’ve looked like, and what it would’ve been like to hold their tiny hand in yours. You may even have dreams about them and what could’ve been. You’re not alone. I promise you; I understand.

No matter how long it has been, you still remember exactly how you felt when you found out or began to go through the loss process. At times – sometimes seemingly out of nowhere – that overwhelming sorrow will hit you like a ton of bricks. You’ll want to just stop and cry for the little one you never got to hold, and it is okay to cry no matter how long it has been. You’re not alone. I promise you; I understand.

When you’ve had a miscarriage, you can feel completely alone in the world. There is a lot of stigma around talking about miscarriages, but the reality is the only way to stop the stigma is to talk about them. When we experienced our loss, I remember thinking that I would be judged for having done something wrong to cause it, made to feel ashamed for what happened, and expected to never talk about something taboo. However, I found that for myself talking about it was a coping mechanism. By talking about it, I’ve had numerous others open up to me that I didn’t realize were concealing their own stories. You’re not alone. I promise you; I understand.

For the days when the memories hit you like a ton of bricks, you can reach out to me, and I’ll listen.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Virtual Victories

Today I had the opportunity to participate in Ignite 2022, a virtual conference for one of my careers. I know there are a lot of people excited to return to in-person conferences, but I not so secretly hope that virtual conferences are here to stay. In fact, I believe that in some ways virtual conferences are better than in-person. Why? I’m glad you asked! Drum roll please…channels Dave Letterman… “And now, Top 10 Virtual Victories!”

Number 10 – Woke Up in My Bed – Some hotel beds are really nice, but I am much more rested when I get to wake up in my bed with my pillow that knows my head. Plus, not to sound all Goldilocks, but my mattress is just right!

Number 9 – Last Minute for the Win – I am a last minute person which can be problematic with in person conferences. In fact it’s usually why I’m late to the first session of the morning. But with virtual, I’m always on time even if I get out of the shower ten minutes before go time!

Number 8 – Fewer Distractions – Most of the time I have the attention span of a goldfish. There are times that talking to me is very reminiscent of talking to Dory in Finding Nemo. With virtual conferences, I can provide myself with the accommodations that I need for success like a quiet room, non distracting lighting, and stretch breaks to regain focus. I can also watch sitting or standing which can help me.

Number 7 – No Parking Issues – in my garage my car always has a spot! I don’t have to fret over where I’m going to park, if the Valet is going to lose my car (it happened once but that’s a story for another day), or how much parking costs!

Number 6 – Comfy Chair – can we all agree that most conference seats are not meant for bigger people? As a bigger person height and weight wise, I always feel like I’m sitting on the people next to me. I always feel uncomfortable when I feel like I’m up in somebody else’s business. Also, I’ve got back issues, so being at home in my own chair saves me from a post conference chiropractor appointment!

Number 5 – No Idle Chit Chat – I’m what one would call an extroverted introvert. I am good at being social, and I enjoy it in the right doses and settings. However, big events like conferences, open houses, vendor fairs, etc drain my battery. I enjoy them while they are happening, but afterwards I need time to recuperate mentally and emotionally.

Number 4 – Dress Up from the Waist Up – I spent the whole conference in pajama pants! From the waist up I had on a nice shirt, cardigan, jewelry, and makeup done. However, I had on comfy pants! Also, I didn’t have to wear shoes! Wearing shoes all day is for the birds!

Number 3 – Best Concession Stand Ever – Imagine a concession stand with no waiting where water doesn’t cost $4 a bottle and only favorite foods are served! That’s right, the best concession stand is my own kitchen! This concession stand served Caesar salad, pomegranates, Diet Coke, and water! Glad it was all free because I drank 4 bottles of water!!! Best part? I didn’t have to worry about things I won’t eat or am allergic to! My concession stand rocks!

Number 2 – No Line at the Ladies Room – Any time I had to go to the bathroom, there was no line! I could just walk right in my own bathroom and go! Bonus? No questionable droplets on the toilet seat and no cringing because people for some reason forget how to flush in public!

Number 1 – Time With Family – When I attend virtual conferences I get to see my husband and toddler IMMEDIATELY when it is over. There’s no travel time where I’m super antsy and irritable because I miss them so much. All I have to do is leave my office! Approximately 10 steps from my office to my hugs!

What are your top Virtual Victory for Virtual Conferences?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Real of Reality

Let me say what I know a lot of people are thinking today: I am not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. Negative Nellies will see that statement and think things such as “She’s just lazy and wants to sleep in” or “She’s so selfish! She just had two weeks off”. However, that’s not the case. Just as I know this isn’t the case for all of the people I’ve seen on my social media saying they are depressed about returning to work, have almost cried today over returning, etc. The real of reality is that the core values for work force members are changing abs the values of many employers are not.

For a few decades following the Great Depression, it seems as though the reality of why people worked was solely for a paycheck. They wanted to go to work, make enough money to ensure their family lived adequately, and be able to retire with the pension they knew they would get for x years of service. This reality made employer’s very happy because it meant people working long hours which tends to lead to higher profits.

For members of today’s work force, priorities are changing. Our (I use this in a general sense knowing that it doesn’t apply to every single person) reality is that we want to be valued as people and not just a faceless, nameless human among the masses. We want to feel as though our employers care about our mental and physical health; we want to feel like our priorities that put family above career are important. We are tired of being made to feel guilty for attempting to prioritize our health, the needs of our families, and for wanting people to care more about the well being of others than a profit margin. At the end of the day, many of us are willing to work one, two, or even three jobs for an employer who cares and allows us to live by our priorities as opposed to working for one employer who doesn’t treat us like a person. We’ve realized that happiness and wellness are more important than a paycheck!

For me personally, the real of reality means being away from LilKsby and Mr Kisby, who I’ve spent the last two weeks with except for about five hours, for 9 hours a day. I’ll get to see them for 30 minutes in the morning, then we will have maybe 3 hours before LilKsby goes to bed because he doesn’t nap at daycare. That’s 3 and a half hours with the sweetest most precious boy in the whole world. It’s maybe 5 hours with Mr Kisby, but usually less because of cleaning and prepping for the next day. For someone who believes family is more important than a career, do you see why it’s hard for me to want to return to work even to a job I enjoy? I know I’m not the only mama who feels this way!

So that is the way I see the real of reality. Factor in Covid related anxiety’s with how I’m going to miss my family like crazy, and there you have it. Am I hoping to win the Powerball? Yup. Does that mean I don’t love what I do? Nope. I just love being mama and wife more than employee. Anyone else agree with this real of reality?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Stretch Stories

Did you ever have a Stretch or Fetch Armstrong as a kid? Ideally you could pull on them and pull on them, and they would temporarily distort before going mostly back to their original state. My Fetch Armstrong worked in this manner until the day the stretchy inside stuff started oozing out of it. In contrast to this incident, when we stretch, no matter how we’re stretching, we often find that we have a new story to tell. In my experience, while stretching may be difficult, it is a rewarding story in the end.

To start, let’s jump right in and talk about stretch stories in terms of stretch marks. In a world full of creams designed to minimize the appearance of stretch marks, I’m going to be bold and say that I love my stretch marks! Society may deem my tiger stripes to be ugly, but to me my tiger stripes are a reminder that my body performed the miracle of growing a baby! As that baby was growing, I gained 31 pounds, and I don’t regret a single pound of it! Now whenever I look at those stretch marks, I can think about the story they tell of my pregnancy and birthing journey! Side note: I think of my c-section scar as a beautiful thing too!

Even though it cannot be seen, I also think that mental stretching is a great story teller! In my opinion (I’m not an expert) mental stretching can be as simple as doing math without a calculator or as complex as challenging yourself to learn a new language or skill. In either case, when you do these mental stretching activities, you learn things about yourself. Just yesterday, I used mental math skills that I hadn’t used in a while. I was amazed at my brain’s ability to still do it! Likewise, when I started doing brain puzzles again, I was amazed by how quickly they came back to me! They say that mental stretching can also help with keeping your memory sharp! Plus it’s always a great feeling to know that you can do something you thought impossible!

Speaking of things you thought were impossible, there’s some stories that literal stretching can tell! Last summer I took several yoga classes, and do you know what stories I learned from that stretching? One, at 38 I can still put my foot over my head. Two, my body can with correct training do Hot or Glow yoga and reap the benefits without feeling ill. Three, I can stretch and release tensions from my body! When I was regularly practicing yoga, I felt more relaxed than I have in a long time! Now that’s a great stretch story!

How about when you stretch? Do you feel your confidence boosted by instances of mental or physical stretching? Has it been so long since you’ve stretched your body or brain that you need to do it for a reminder of how you feel? What stories do you want your personal stretching to tell in the future?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Monday Musings

Do you ever find yourself thinking the most random thoughts? Today has been a full day of them for me! Some of the thoughts have been funny; some of the thoughts have been profound. In either case, I thought if I was having these musings on a Monday, then I might as well share them!

1. Jimmy Gibbler – A lot of Fuller House fans were perplexed by Kimmy suddenly having a younger brother named Jimmy. It’s true that Kimmy mentioned older sisters and an older brother named Garth in Full House. Though they were mentioned a handful of times, they were never seen. It should also be noted that their reason for being mentioned was because they were older and Kimmy and DJ talked about the cool stuff they did. Jimmy on the other hand is about 12 years younger than Kimmy. (Stephanie is five years younger than Kimmy and DJ, and in an episode where Stephanie is 35, Jimmy talks about turning 28 soon). This would mean that Jimmy wouldn’t have even been born until season two or three of Full House, making him only five or six when it ended. Growing up, I don’t remember any of my good friends talking much about younger siblings. I also never went over to a friends house to hang with their siblings instead of them. Likewise, I never invited over a friend’s sibling. Therefore, I think it is very logical for Jimmy Gibbler to exist in Fuller House and not in Full House.

2. Turn Signals – Why are they so hard for people to use when driving? In every car I’ve driven, they are in the same place, so it can’t be that people can’t find the turn signal. I get very frustrated when people don’t use turn signals. On the same note, slamming on your breaks, stopping in the middle of the road, waiting a moment, then turning on your turn signal is just as bad.

3. Aldi Is Amazing – This morning, 3 hours before my pickup time, Aldi messaged to let me know they were behind and needed to delay my order. Two and a half hours before the reassigned pickup time, they texted to say they’d started shopping. I also texted directly with the shopper as they shopped to approve substitutions. They ended up being done an hour before my original pickup time and two hours before the adjusted time. Aldi is amazing!!!

4. Santa Photos – A lot of kids are afraid of Santa when they are really little. I get it. I was afraid of the Slush Puppy even though my aunt was the one inside of it. Seriously, I repeatedly punched the Slush Puppy in the tail. As a parent, I’m fully aware LilKsby might also have my issues with mascot style figures. So do I hope for a good picture, or is it okay to think it would be amusing for a picture where he’s crying, screaming at Santa, or running from Santa? Does the latter make me a bad mama or mean I have a sense of humor?

5. Phrases Like “To Be Honest” – When people frequently start a sentence with “To be honest”, “If I’m being honest”, or “I’ll be honest”, do they have a history of not speaking the truth? I’m guilty of using these phrases from time to time. If I use them, I immediately think that I shouldn’t have said them. I also try to teach others to not use these phrases. If I impart any knowledge to those I teach, I hope it is the importance of honesty!

What random thoughts are you having on this Monday?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Unplug to Recharge

I’m by far not a Transcendentalist. I tend to function better when I have a set routine, and even though I have a unique sense of style there is nothing groundbreaking about how I dress. I’m also too concerned with covering the amount of gray in my hair to say that I march to the beat of my own drummer. Even the unpopular things I’ve been involved with throughout my life such as theatre, medieval reenactment, playing video games, playing tabletop games, and writing have somehow become mainstream. However, there is one part of transcendentalism that I totally get: nature.

For me nature is where I go to unplug and recharge. (Unplug is kind of a loose term, but I’ll explain that in a minute.) There is something about being out in nature whether it is hiking, swimming, or sitting in a cabin looking out at the trees that helps me to feel peaceful and relaxed. This weekend was spent sitting in a cabin in the woods surrounded by family, and I can say that I haven’t felt this relaxed going into a work week since last May when a weekend was spent in a cabin in the woods! It was wonderful to unplug from all of the responsibilities of home! I don’t know about everyone else, but I struggle to truly relax at home. Even when I’m reading, writing, sewing, etc there is always that voice in the back of my head saying “You should be doing x, y, and z!” With that mantra in my head, it’s impossible to be totally serene at home. However, in a cabin, I can unplug that little voice and relax!

Relax and unplug for me is probably different than a lot of people. I still played on my phone while unplugging, and I still used my laptop. The difference is that instead of working, I used my devices to research things I would like for Christmas, order Christmas pajamas, and look at gifts for LilKsby. Not a bit of work was done! I also finished one book, read another book, and started a third one (all Stephanie Plum novels)! My only to do tasks all weekend were eat, hangout with family, and sleep! It was also relaxing to be able to go on a trip without having to go on the interstate. Back roads are way more relaxing! The best part of the weekend? The relaxation has continued even at home tonight. I’m not even stressed about going to work tomorrow!

I’m so thankful that I was able to spend the weekend in nature, unplug from everyday life, and recharge! Are you recharged for the week?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Jesus, Coco, & a Tiger

Have you ever taken a moment and thought about the viewing habits of toddlers? I knew that my toddler had some unique viewing habits since he likes to watch gaming, painting instruction, and nature videos with us; however, I didn’t realize how intriguing his own preferences are until we spent time this evening snuggling and watching Roku. The first thing he wanted to watch on YouTube was today’s Daily Mass. LilKsby doesn’t just watch any Mass. He wants to see the St Thomas the Apostle West Springfield, Massachusetts Daily Mass with the picture of the stain glass window featuring a lamb and a sepia toned picture of Jesus. Don’t pick the wrong Mass; that simply will not do! Next, we watched some Cocomelon on YouTube. He didn’t want to watch a full episode, but he did want to watch “Ten Little Buses”, “The ABC Song”, and “The Lunch Song”. We rounded out our evening by starting to watch the Daniel Tiger movie that’s on Amazon Prime.

Before you go thinking “Wow, The Great Kaysby lets her kid watch too much TV”, I want you to realize that we only watched about 45 minutes as we snuggled after dinner and simultaneously played with toys. Although he didn’t play with toys during the 20 minutes of Daily Mass. He’s always to busy mimicking the priest’s hand motions to play with toys then. Now with that disclaimer out of the way, I think it is interesting to think about what LilKsby’s viewing preferences say about him. One, he obviously likes shows that he can interact with while watching. Aside from the pretty lamb, I think he likes watching the Daily Mass because of the call and response aspect. It makes him feel like he’s socializing and participating in a conversation. In his mind Daily Mass is developing social skills. Secondly, it is obvious that LilKsby knows what topics he likes. This was evident by him choosing which segments he wanted to see of Cocomelon. I love that the segments he picked had specific things that I know he likes. For example, “Ten Little Buses” features an orange cat that steals toys. LilKsby has two orange kitties that he loves! They also steal stuff if you aren’t looking! He also loves food including the chicken nuggets and dumplings shown in the “The Lunch Song”! Finally, I can tell that Daniel Tiger is important to him because he loves family. One of his favorite things to do is watch how Daniel’s family interacts with one another. LilKsby also loves when Daniel wants to make believe! I never thought about the unique ways that LilKsby connects with his viewing choices until tonight, but now I can’t stop thinking about them!

So I’m curious, do other toddlers have similar viewing habits? Do other toddlers pick shows to watch because of such unique elements? What makes a toddler know what they prefer to watch? Is it really that different than when adults pick a favorite show? What’s your toddler watching?

Until my next random thought!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Dental Dwelling

This afternoon Mr Kisby and I had dentist appointments. While he was in his appointment, I started thinking about how different going to the dentist is as a kid. As a kid going to the dentist (or ortho) can be exciting! Not because you’re going to the dentist, but because it means getting out of school early. This leads to getting to play video games sooner (I would’ve picked a Zelda game), having a snack sooner, etc. Even though the dentist part wasn’t fun, it was always fun to get home early!

As an adult going to the dentist is exciting in a different way. For many of us, going to a dentist or doctors appointment requires taking off work either a full or half day. In a perfect world, the portion of the half day not spent at the dentist would be just as fun filled as it was during childhood. However, the world isn’t perfect and frequently any spare time is somehow spent adulting! This was very true for me today! During the time Mr Kisby was in the dentist and I was waiting for my appointment, I managed to drop items off at our local charitable thrift store, purchase air filters for our HVAC system from a local business, drop off recycling, and call two businesses with whom we work! When I was coming out of the local business, it hit me how different going to the dentist is as an adult. Never as a kid would I have imagined that I’d be so excited to get so many errands accomplished in 45 minutes! For that matter as a kid I never knew I’d one day be purchasing air filters! Spoiler, I would’ve been excited as a kid to have a few minutes to read in the parking lot before my appointment like I did today!

Going to the dentist isn’t the only thing that is different from childhood to adulthood. Most things are completely different than when we were too little to worry about money, be concerned with time, and have anxiety over things that are out of our control. I’d say those were the good old days, but I also love hanging out with Mr Kisby and LilKsby too much to believe that! However, at the end of the day, I think it’s important to remember what it was like to be a kid, and sometimes I think we need to embrace it! For me, this currently means I need to check on my Sims!

What do you dwell on when you go to the dentist?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Challenge Complete

Can you believe it has been 30 days since I made my 30 day challenge post? Did you try anything new for 30 days this month? Guess what?? I did! Every day in September, I did squats. It started with 50 per day, then just this week it became 100 per day!

Now, I don’t say that to brag. It was a tough journey! Here are some things I’ve learned from my squats:

1. Accountability partners are key!

2. Sometimes you have to push yourself to do things you don’t want to do.

3. Going from 0 to 100 – even over time – is painful, but it’s good pain.

4. Squats get my heart rate up more than walking.

5. Squats work your core. I’ve now got some definition in my core that’s never been there before.

6. Physical health involves physical ability and having an “I can” mindset.

7. Doing one thing for 30 days makes you want to try more things for 30 days!

I hope that you completed a 30 day challenge in September. However, if you didn’t, I’ve got great news for you! Tomorrow is a brand new month, and a brand new opportunity to take a challenge!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

How Are You Really?

How many times a day are you asked “How are you?” or a similar question? How often is your response “I’m fine”, “Good”, or something similar? Do you feel like these responses border on robotic because you know the person talking to you doesn’t want to hear the truth?

I bet if I could see you, then I would have just seen a raised hand!

Now let me ask you this question, “How are you really?” Instead of responding with the first thing that pops in your mind, I encourage you to take a few moments and do a wellness check. So take a deep breath and join me on a reflective journey for the next five minutes! Ready? Let’s go!

Minute 1 – Get comfortable by taking a seated position that makes you relaxed, lounging on your most comfortable piece of furniture, or try utilizing shavasana (corpse pose). Take a few deep breaths and clear your mind.

Minute 2 – Think about your physical health. Quickly do a head to toe body scan and note anything out of the ordinary. Perhaps you will notice that your eyes feel tired and strained from increased screen time. Maybe you will notice that your shoulders and hips feel out of alignment due to poor posture or a previously diagnosed condition like scoliosis. You may notice that your muscles are stiff from new exercises that you’ve been doing. If something seems alarming, make a note and call a health professional so that you don’t fret over the issue.

Minute 3 – Think about your emotional health. What emotions have you felt today? Were you frustrated because you had to do things at work today that you don’t enjoy? Did you find a reason to laugh or smile today? Did you feel sad? Did you feel content? If you’re emotions have been like a roller coaster, take a moment to consider what caused such fluctuations. Also, never hesitate to call a professional if need be.

Minute 4 – Think about your mental health. Have you experienced anxiety today? Have you felt stressed today? Is your mental health beginning to impact you physically and emotionally? If you examine your mental health and realize that you need professional help, then reach out to someone. There is no shame in getting the mental health assistance you need. I don’t talk about it a lot, but I’ve had to take medication for anxiety in the past. At first I thought people would judge me for having to be on it, but now I’m not afraid to acknowledge that it was necessary. I hope that my own admission will help others be comfortable with getting the help they need!

Minute 5 – What are your next best steps? Now that you’ve evaluated your health, it is time to consider the next best steps. Personally, my next best physical step is to continue increasing my exercise levels. For my emotional health, it is remembering to not let one mishap mess up my emotions/mood for the whole day. This has always been hard for me! As far as mental health, my next best step is working on coping strategies for stress. Please know that your next best steps may be different than mine; in fact, your next best steps should be different and unique to your health.

Now that you’ve had a moment to evaluate yourself, “How are you really?”

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

A Secret to Happiness 😊

Do you want to know the secret to happiness? With the caveat that I’m exhausted from last night’s insomnia (see the previous blog), I will tell you a secret to happiness. Are you ready? Here goes…

The secret to happiness is to realize it is okay for the things that bring you happiness to change.

As I write this, I’m lying on bed with LilKsby while he plays educational games on Mr Kisby’s phone. Normally, it doesn’t bring me happiness for him to play on phones because I believe there is a link between screen time and attention span length (I’m a mama not a scientist, so I could be wrong). However, on a day like today when I could go to bed before bath time, it brings me great happiness to just relax with him next to me. On a normal day this might make me feel reminiscent of a sloth, but not today!

This example of day to day happiness variance is not typical; however, it is reminiscent of how what brings us happiness changes throughout life. If you think back on your lifetime, I bet there are things you can think of that used to bring you happiness that no longer do or you’ve simply out grown. For example, Barbies brought me happiness from like 5 to 12. Do I wish Barbies still made me happy? Nope, but I’m glad I enjoyed them and the creativity they fostered while I did!

From about 19 to 29, a game called Amtgard brought me a lot of happiness (along with some headaches literally and figuratively). It’s been almost a decade since I’ve been active with it because it became more of a habit than an activity of happiness. However, I’m EXTREMELY thankful for the time that it brought me happiness and the skill is learned while playing. (Side note, it was stress relieving to get to legally hit people with foam sticks!) Today, I am ABUNDANTLY blessed by the husband and friendships that came from it. Guess what? They still make me happy!

Likewise some of the things I never knew would bring me happiness when I was younger have brought me more joy than I ever could’ve imagined. I am an only child, and I was never around babies much growing up. From this experience, I was sure that I never wanted kids. That is until I met my husband, and I got to see how cool kids were with our niece and nephews. This led to me finding out at 36 that being LilKsby’s mama brings me more happiness than I ever knew possible!

And there you have it. The secret to happiness is realizing that it is okay for the things that bring you happiness to change. So if you find yourself not enjoying something like you used to enjoy it, I challenge you to try something new. Read, paint, start a blog, plan a vacation, start a side hustle…invest in yourself and make time for happiness! Most of all, if you agree with me, pass the secret to happiness on to someone!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby