Mom Life – Page 4 – The Great Kaysby

Homeschool Here We Go!

Yesterday, we officially started our homeschooling journey! LilKsby is officially working on PreK at home with me as his teacher. Already, we are both learning some great things! Here’s a snapshot:

1. LilKsby can tell you what street we live on and the streets his grandparents live on by memory. He’s also working on our exact address. Although right now he’s saying a 9 instead of a 5, so hopefully no one shows up at the neighbor’s house down the street looking for us!

2. I have to work on patience. I’m used to teaching high schoolers who are juniors and seniors. Now I’m working with a toddler. There’s a lot that he can’t do just because he’s not learned basics yet. I have to remember that when he doesn’t recognize something right away.

3. LilKsby is taking the first steps towards reading! Yesterday, he started recognizing the word “Friday” in multiple places! He was even more stoked when today actually was Friday!

4. I’m pretty sure he’s going to be left handed, so I’ve really got to work on my own left handed skills. Hooray for being ambidextrous! At least that’s a start.

5. LilKsby enjoys yoga, and hearing him say “Namaste” is adorable. Equally adorable? He told me he wants to be Santa Claus when he grows up!

6. The flexibility I’ve always used when lessons don’t go as planned in the classroom and for tutoring will need to be used in the homeschool setting. Yesterday, I was attempting to assess his levels, and we had to take lots of breaks because he just wasn’t having it. Guess how we got through it? Lots of positive praise!!!

7. LilKsby loves “Pete and Cat” as he calls Pete the Cat. To be fair, the illustrations are amazing, and the stories are a lot of fun! We had to reread yesterday’s Pete the Cat during story time, and we had to watch the YouTube version! I love that he’s already taking ownership of his lessons!

8. I am excited to plan our lessons! Teaching him is fun because everything is new!!!

I’m looking forward to our homeschool journey, and I’m super excited to see how LilKsby continues to progress! If there are any resources you think I need to checkout, please post them in the comments!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Instagram: thegreatkaysby

Soapbox Session

Warning…normally I try not to write about political things because I do not like arguing with people, and I have found that you cannot have civil conversations about a lot of topics when people feel their beliefs are the only right ones. However, I feel the need to pull out my soapbox because I’m trying to be understanding which means I need to put my thoughts in writing. If you don’t want to read my ramblings, then I’m okay with you closing this post now. If you can read them without being judgmental, then feel free to proceed.

1. If you’re against things that help people because they don’t help you, then is it possible you need to do some self reflection? Lately it seems that anytime something good happens for a group of people, there are naysayers who have to voice how displeased they are with people getting help. What’s really disparaging is how many of the naysayers claim to be religious because I’m pretty sure that the majority of religions are founded in helping people and loving others.

2. Why are there so many people who shouted “My body! My choice!” when the government was mandating masks and vaccines, yet they applauded and praised the government when the government restricted access to abortion? Doesn’t it seem hypocritical to only care what happens to a body when it is yours?

3. Along the same lines, doesn’t it seem that a vast majority of people who claim to be “pro-life” are really just “pro-birth”? Being pro-life should mean helping people through all phases of life. It should mean finding ways to take care of the elderly; it should mean finding ways to help those with physical and mental health needs; it should mean making sure children are clothed and fed with roofs over their heads; it should mean finding help for those living with trauma. There is a lot more to life than just birth!

4. Why are people such Judgey McJudgersons when they don’t know a situation? It drives me bonkers when people make snap decisions and blanket comments about things like unemployment, food stamps, and debt forgiveness. I cannot stand when people act like everyone who has relied on assistance at some point in their lives is a bad person. This is one where I am quick to defend those who need help because at various points in my life either myself or a family member has relied on assistance to survive. Spoiler, if you know us, then you know we’re some pretty good people. Second spoiler, even good people who try to live right sometimes fall on hard times and need help.

As I put my soapbox away, I want to offer some free advice. The most important thing to do is “love thy neighbor”. For Christians this is the main thing that Jesus asked if you. Other religions believe that what you put out into the world will return in your life. Some people aren’t religious at all, yet they still strive to make the world a better place. No matter the case, instead of putting people down because you don’t agree with them, maybe it is time to start building people up and promoting love. Until next time…

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

10, 7, 5 Principle!

This evening I was listening to a recent conference from my direct selling business, and there was a concept that really stuck out to me. In 2017, Pamela Waldrop Shaw discussed three things that drive change. Her three things were as follows: 10 – Significant Events, 7 Critical Decisions, and 5 Influential People. When I heard this, I immediately thought about the recent change in my life to Work From Home Mama and how the 10, 7, 5 Principle applied to that change. Here is my reflection so that you can see the Principle in application!

10 Significant Events

First Pregnancy & Miscarriage – 2018
Princess Court of Sales Achievement – 2018
Second Pregnancy – 2018 and 2019
Birth of LilKsby – 2019
Mr Kisby Layoff – 2019
Covid Pandemic – 2020-Present
Pandemic Teaching – 2020-2022
Mr Kisby Graduates – 2021
Mr Kisby New Job – 2022
Social Issues and Injustices – Ongoing

7 Critical Decisions

Mr Kisby deciding to go to school instead of finding “just another job”.
Keeping LilKsby at home during the 2020-21 school year. This made me realize how much I longed to be at home with him.
Realizing that I don’t like being made to feel expendable. Also the existential dread associated with starting the last two school years during Covid peaks was mentally overwhelming to me.
Deciding that homeschool feels like the best option for us as we want our child to grow up with an education that reflects our values. This means more than just intertwining faith and academics. It means teaching equality, respect, fairness, and how to be an ally!!!
Determining that an abundance of money is not as important as living a fulfilled life by our priorities. Yes, I know things cost money. Yes, I know you have to have enough money. Yes, we like to play the lottery. However, money is not the most important thing to us.
Realizing that it is more important to live by our priorities than the priorities others give us.
Making the choice to leave teaching after 11 years.

5 Influential People

The Holy Trinity – I prayed a lot over the decision to make the change from teaching to work from home mama. Ultimately I was able to follow what was put on my heart, and even though my brain wants to panic sometimes, I’m doing my best to follow FAITH over Fear! When change is imminent, I highly recommend praying to your Deity. Not religious? Then I recommend lots of self reflection!
Mr Kisby – My husband, my partner in life, my biggest cheerleader!
LilKsby – My Sweet Boy and the one who learns more from watching us than anything else.
Homeschool Friends – I see the magnificent wonders they have worked in their children’s lives, and that is what I want for LilKsby.
Entrepreneur Friends – Seeing them live their truths by their priorities is impacting!

So there you have the 10, 7, 5 principle! My 10, 7, 5 spanned a four year time period. For others their time period might be longer, and for some it might be shorter. Also, a lot more than 5 people influenced me, but that gives you the concept. As I’m embarking on this change, I think it is good to reflect. It keeps the perspective fresh and the path set right.

What change are you contemplating?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Great Resignation

By this point most people have heard of “The Great Resignation.” It is a phenomenon happening in our country where people are leaving jobs in mass. This is not occurring because people don’t want to work (despite what certain groups want you to believe). It is occurring because people want to find work that does more than pay the bills; it is occurring because people want to feel valued and purpose filled. On June 30, I joined “The Great Resignation”.

People who know me know that I’m a hard worker to the point that I’ve been known to work so much it’s bad for my health. With only a few gaps, I’ve spent the last 21 years of my life working. Of those years, 18 were with my last employer in a couple different positions. A lot of great things have occurred in my life involving work. So what changed and led to me joining “The Great Resignation”? In short, I changed.

For me becoming a mom and the Covid pandemic reshaped my priorities. My top priorities have become faith, family, and living by my beliefs along with living a purpose filled life based on said priorities. So when provided the opportunity to become a work from home mom, I couldn’t pass up the chance. I’m still transitioning to work from home life, but I can already say that I’m doing the most rewarding job I’ve ever had.

From my own experience, I encourage you to re-evaluate your priorities. If you’re not living by them, then consider if it is time to find something new. Joining “The Great Resignation” could bring you more joy than you ever knew possible!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

I’m Playing in the Rain

In the song “I Am” from Kid Rock’s self titled album there is a lyric that asks “Have you seen the Nothern falls, ot the Midwest seasons changing? A Montana storm, or a warm Kentucky rain?” While I’ve never seen the Northern falls or a Montana storm, I can attest to the beauty and calm of a warm Kentucky rain. One of my favorite things to do in summer is be outside when it is raining. There’s something naturally refreshing about having rain pour down your skin on a hot day. I can’t put it in words, but it is a feeling that I hope everyone can experience at least once a summer.

Today, we got to experience our warm Kentucky rain for the summer. It hasn’t really rained where we live in almost four weeks, so when I saw the rain clouds today, I figured they would be like all of the others and pass us by. Thus without thinking about the weather, LilKsby and I started on a parking lot walk while Mr Kisby had to run an errand. As we’re walking, it began sprinkling. In my mind this was all it was going to do, so we kept walking. To our surprise a warm rain shower began! It was over quickly, but it had enough water to make some puddles. So we took advantage of the occasion and went “puddle hunting” as LilKsby loves a good rain puddle! As we were “hunting” a deluge came! The deluge wasn’t as warm as some rains, but it was so fun! We splashed; we laughed; we got thoroughly soaked. It was peaceful and calm while also being thrilling! The deluge gave us five minutes of fun that will be remembered for a lifetime! It was 100% worth driving home shoeless and being chilly in the AC for a little bit!

If you’ve never played in a warm summer rain, then I suggest putting it on your to do list. There’s nothing like it in the world! If you’ve planned in a warm summer rain, did you enjoy it?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Captain’s Log – Potty Training Day 1

Captain’s Log – 28th of May in the year 2022 – Daily Journey 14 Hours

Today we began the journey of potty training. After one day I’m far from an expert, but I thought other toddler parents might like to know they aren’t alone in the journey. So here are my learnings thus far…

1) Don’t force the potty on them if they aren’t ready. We were guilty of this last summer because we thought as soon as LilKsby turned 2, we needed to push potty training. Well we pushed too much, and he stopped going to the potty all together. He was not ready for the potty, so he quit using a diaper too. It took weeks of doctor calls for advice and lots of pleading to get him to pee regularly again.

2) Wait until they understand what the potty is for. We’ve spent the last few months in preparation by modeling to him how to use the potty. We even verbalize what we’re doing so he would be familiar with the steps. By this I mean saying things like “I’m going pee in the potty. I peed now I get to use toilet paper! I used toilet paper, so now I’m going to flush! Now I get to wash my hands!” This repeated modeling sunk in because today these were the steps he wanted to follow.

3) Don’t let a book make you feel like a bad parent. I read most of a potty training book. At one point it made me feel like a horrible mom because according to the expert, I had failed my child by missing the perfect window of 24-30 months old, and I failed my child because he didn’t have the speech skills of his same aged peers. Side note: the book was written pre-pandemic, and I recently noticed that the CDC has updated their language milestones to levels lower since the pandemic had limited so much socialization and verbal communication without masks. In hindsight I realize that I shouldn’t let a book make me feel like a bad parent, but at the time I wanted to throw the book against the wall.

4) Some tips from books/online articles are helpful. For example, having little potties upstairs and downstairs was helpful. Having him go without a diaper for the first day was also helpful because we could watch more closely for potty signals. It was also beneficial to explain at nap and bed time why we were using a diaper again after making such a big deal over getting rid of it.

5) Potty training takes commitment from the parent(s)/guardian(s). For potty training to be successful you have to be willing and able to commit enough time for them to get the idea of going potty in an environment where they are comfortable and won’t be embarrassed by an accident. To do this, we waited until we had a three day window with no plans which meant for me waiting until school was out. I’m hoping that three days at home solely focused on time together watching for potty signals will give us enough of a window to realize how often we need to go to the potty, how long we can leave the house without the potty, and what trips will require taking the little potty with us. Also, we had to be committed to not getting upset about accidents. We knew they would happen, so instead of getting mad, we addressed what to do different next time. Finally, knowing his love language helped. LilKsby loves words of praise, so you can bet every little tinkle got lots of positive praise!

I’m sure there will be more wisdom learned along the way, and I’m prepared for varying levels of success. Captain’s log signing off…

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

It’s Okay to Have a Bad Day

I’m going to tell you a little secret. You know that super positive person that’s in your circle? The one who always seems to try and be positive even to the point of being annoying? Sometimes even that person has a bad day! And guess what? It’s okay to have a bad day!

For me today was one of those days. For the majority of the day from like 6:40 am to 8:30 pm it seemed like nothing was going right. Instead of just taking a deep breath and stepping away from the frustrations, I just let them keep piling up. There was a point when I thought I should just go to bed and start again tomorrow.

But I didn’t go to bed.

Instead of giving up on the day, I found little things to bring it up to okay. First, I found what we’d been looking for five hours. Then, I changed the cat litter and took out the trash. This led to remembering to water my plants, so I watered them at 10:30 pm! To my surprise, they are bouncing back wonderfully, and it made me happy to see their beauty! After that I managed to start laundry, run the dishwasher, and knock a couple of other things off my to do list. All of this took about two hours. Now I’m lying in bed, eating tiramisu, watching Step By Step, and reflecting.

As I reflect, I’m amazed at how such a bad day could become okay. Was it great? No. I’m not even sure I’d classify it as good. However, tomorrow is another chance to have a great day. Tomorrow is another chance to get done the things that couldn’t be completed today. So as I fall asleep, tomorrow will be my focus!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

#blessed

Wow! Today marks another trip around the sun, and I am humbled by how #blessed I am! For the last three days, I’ve celebrated turning 39 with Mr Kisby, LilKsby, and other family members. As a bonus, I’ve received several messages wishing me a happy birthday. All of these have been remarkable reminders of how lucky I am to know so many wonderful people who know how to make a gal feel loved!

After two years of pandemic birthdays, feeling loved was the best treat! If the past two years have taught us anything, they’ve taught us how when we’re stressed by unprecedented pandemics, work, not enough time, not enough money, etc, we can forget to show others how much we love them. It’s not an intentional neglect, but more of an accident due to circumstances. I’m guilty, and I’m sure others are guilty too. Luckily, we can always change our ways and find our way back to showing others how much we love them!

As I enter my final year of my 30s, I must say that I’m super excited! This decade has been the best yet for me, and I’m sure that the next decade will be even better! Bonus, I feel like there are a lot of exciting things just on the horizon! For now, I’m going to concentrate on showing others the love that has been shown me!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Faith Over Fear

When I was a little kid, I remember flying a kite with my dad in our field. As we played, the kite string broke, and the kite flew away. I was heartbroken! I threw such a fit that my dad pacified me by taking me on a car ride to find the kite. We never found it, and I was devastated. From that moment, I was CONVINCED that I hated flying kites.

Fast forward 30 (or more) years…

Mr Kisby gets a box from Amazon, and says he has a family surprise. Guess what it was? A kite! Immediately I had flashbacks and thought, “ugh, I hate kites.” However, as parents often do, I put on a happy face so that LilKsby would love the kite. A few days later we went to the park, and we flew the kite. To my surprise, I LOVED flying the kite! Watching it soar in the wind, while I laughed squeals of delight and ran around with LilKsby, was a great time!

That joy got me to thinking, did I really hate kites this whole time? No. What I hated was the memory of losing something. The hate of losing has become a life long trend. As I thought about it, I realized that I have allowed a hate of loss to be the reason I fear doing something. Then I remembered that if we let fear run our lives, we will miss out on a lot of great opportunities. Having faith over fear is a hard lesson to practice, and I think that we have to constantly remind ourselves to use it. As a parent, I frequently tell myself to not show fear of certain things because I don’t want my child to pick up on these fears and miss out. That’s a huge catalyst for me, and why I keep striving to live more fearlessly.

I know that’s a huge lesson to get from a kite, but don’t we find the greatest lessons when we aren’t even looking for them?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Influence of Affluence

Today in one of my classes, we had the students complete a quick write over the hopes and dreams of the lower class versus those of affluence. We gave them two minutes to write, and then we discussed it as a group. I’ve been thinking about this topic ever since this morning, and I feel the need to elaborate on it. The italicized portion is my initial quick write.

The hopes and dreams of the lower class and the affluent may appear the same on a surface level. Everyone wants a roof over their head, plenty of food on the table, enough money to cover their bills, and a better life than the previous generation. However, when digging deeper, the hopes and dreams are very different. For the lower class hopes and dreams may be as simple as a first family member attending and graduating college or joining the military for steady work. On the contrast the more affluent may dream of trips that cost a lower class person’s yearly salary or having more material items.

The more I thought about this topic today; the more I thought about the influence that people of affluence have on the lower classes. I immediately thought of negative or falsified influence. For example, you see the pictures in some magazines and on some websites that taut how celebs are just like us “regular” people. These pictures will be of things like celebrities going to the grocery, working out, or shopping for clothes. On the surface it seems great that “regular” people have something in common with millionaires, but is this accurate? I consider myself a pretty “regular” person, but what a celebrity looks like grocery shopping is totally different than what I look like. First of all, I’m typically shopping for the store brand (aka team Great Value) whereas they are shopping fancy pants brands that I have to Google to know what they are. Likewise, when I work out, it is either at home or outdoors in my spare time. The just like me celebs on the other hand are working out two hours a day with a personal trainer for multiple days a week at their five star gym. Aside from the fact that we’re exercising, we really don’t have anything else in common here. The same could be said for shopping for clothes. I’m happy to shop at Ross and find a bargain while the “just like me” celeb is shopping brands that cost more than my mortgage. Thankfully, I’m happy with my “regular” status, but I feel like some people are negatively influenced by this affluence. Some people tend to rate their personal worth by how they compare with someone of affluence.

Along the same lines, I think it is important to establish that hopes and dreams don’t all involve material things often touted by those of affluence. As an example, I don’t need a new Bentley every year for my birthday. I’m happy to get a new (or even new to me) Kia every ten years. More important to me are dreams like financing LilKsby’s education, taking fun (not necessarily lavish trips) with him and Mr Kisby, and not having to stress about paying bills on time. I don’t need a private jet or an entourage to make myself feel fulfilled in life. Are there big things I’d like to do? Sure. But my life isn’t tragic without them.

All this said, I realize that there are people of affluence that do positive things with their money like donate to charity, finance missions, etc. I’m very thankful for these actions! In fact, I would love to see more about this kind of affluence than so and so’s latest trip to their private island. What do you think about the influence of affluence?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Spring!

Spring has sprung! Is anyone else excited by the grass turning green, flowers starting to bloom, and warmer weather being on the horizon? For those of us who enjoy the great outdoors, Spring is like an old friend that we haven’t seen in ages. We welcome it with open arms and a smile on our face! In the excitement of our reunion, we start to make plans that will carry over into Summer and Fall!

My plan making started as soon as the weather began to improve. Some of the plans are superficial, and some of the plans are adventurous. Nonetheless, all the plans are fun! Since Spring and sunshine have returned, my plans in development have included:

Walks Outside
Wearing Sandals
Planning My Garden
Painting My Toenails
Kayaking
Eating Better
Going to Farmer’s Markets
Sitting on the Porch
Driving with the Windows Down and Blaring Music
Playing Outside
Opening the Windows at Home
Exercising More
Zoo Trips
Travel (since Covid seems to be slowing)
Visiting Parks
My Favorite Outfit #1 – Shorts and Hoodies
My Favorite Outfit #2 – Shorts and Shirts
Amusement Parks
Water Parks
5Ks (love promoting charities and wellness)

There are so many great things to do when Spring starts! Plus, l love having things to look forward to! What plans do you have now that Spring is here?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

500 Hours

“Look deep into nature, and you will understand everything better.” – Albert Einstein

Over the years I’ve seen various challenges to help get people out of their homes and into nature more. One of the most well known challenges involving this is the 1,000 hours outside challenge. I loved the idea, but the math always stopped me from pursuing it. With 365 days in the year, this meant needing to spend 2.7 hours per day outside. My immediate thought was “I can’t do that, I can’t go out when it’s cold.” That may sound like an excuse, but I have a rare condition called cold urticaria that makes going out in the cold difficult. My next thought was “I don’t have enough time to do that when I get home at 4:30, and LilKsby is ready for bed at 6.” Based on my thoughts, I almost gave up on the idea of an outside challenge before I even started it.

Then a light bulb clicked on in my head. I don’t have to do the same outside challenge that everyone else does; I can adapt the challenge to fit my needs!

From that light bulb moment, the challenge became to spend 500 hours outside with LilKsby this year! For a family that spends most of their time indoors, 500 was not a scary goal in my head. Plus, anything is possible when your why is strong enough!

Sometimes knowing your why is difficult. In this case knowing my why is easy. One, even though I spend a lot of time indoors, I believe that there is a calm, peace, and freedom that one can only find outside. Two, I love to walk outside which improves my health physically and mentally. Three, also the most important of these, I want LilKsby to know there is more to life that being indoors tied to a screen. I want him to run and play, climb on things, splash in puddles, and enjoy the beauty of nature. For this goal, my why is clear!

So far in our journey to 500 hours, we have completed 3 hours. That’s not a lot, but guess what? Yesterday – in one afternoon – we tripled what we had previously achieved! All it takes is a little time here and there to reach a goal of 500 hours! The biggest obstacle to overcome for the goal? Overthinking it. I find myself thinking “Where can we go to play outside?” Well, duh self, you just have to go in your own yard! This goal doesn’t require going to a park or a place for hiking (though that is fun too). This goal literally just requires stepping out the door!!!

So as we embark on our journey to achieve 500 hours outside, wish us luck! Pray for minimal sunburns (for real though because the other day I got a little sunburned waiting in the Zaxby’s drive thru for 20 minutes) and bug bites for us! As you’re cheering us on our way, I challenge you to come up with your own 500 hours challenge. I’ll cheer you on!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

What This Working Mama Wants ❤️

Growing up it was always emphasized to my generation that women can be anything they want. They can have a career; in fact they can have any career a man can have perhaps with the exception of penis model. They can live on their own and live the single life ala Sex and the City; they can live with roommates; they can cohabitate with a domestic partner. They can even go the more traditional route and pursue marriage and children. At some point, I’ve pretty much covered all these bases with feeling totally fine about the fact that I can’t be a penis model. Although for me the single life was nothing like Sex and the City, partially because I prefer video games to bars.

The most fulfilling of all the things I’ve been? The role of mama! There’s truly nothing like it! As a working mama and wife, I’m not good at doing the traditional “wife jobs”. Partially because I don’t have a lot of time, but also because I’m not big on a lot of domestic things. My restaurant receipts alone will tell you that I’m more Stephanie Plum than Samantha Stephens in the kitchen! Many may think that the shear fact that women like me can have it all is all we want. However, while I enjoy having the possibilities, there are other things I want as a working mama!

The number one thing I want as a working mama? The gift of time with my family. On a typical work day, I leave at 7 am and pick LilKsby up between 4 and 4:30. That’s 9 to 9 1/2 hours without him. When we get home, we have dinner, bath, and he is usually asleep by 7. This means when you factor in the half hour I see him before work, I only see my child for approximately 3 1/2 hours per day five days a week. That’s not the kind of math I like. So, my number one want? More time with family!

I also want to have an irrational emotional/mental meltdown every once in a while as someone listens to me vent. I am very lucky to have Mr Kisby and friends that allow this. If I didn’t, I might go crazy. The feeling split between being a great employee (especially in a field that requires a great deal of compassion and is constantly being put down and under minded by legislation) and being the best mama and spouse possible can be exhausting physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am amazed at the people who do it without ever having a come apart because I’ve got to let it out sometimes!

The last thing I want? This one may sound selfish, but self care isn’t selfish. I need time to just be me. It’s really easy to forget who you are when you’re consumed by being a mama, wife, and worker. It can be easy to lose yourself when you’re busy taking care of other people. That’s why I think it’s important to take time and enjoy things you like doing. This is why I read, write, create, and play video games. It’s important to me to still have time for things that I enjoy; it’s important to have time for the things that make me who I am! I truly believe that when I am my best me, then I can be my best in every other role that I have!

I could get into a lot more universal issues that I want as a working mama, but I feel like those pertain to lots of mamas and not just me. Maybe other mamas have the same wants as me. Maybe I just wanted to write about my thoughts today. Either way, I hope this some inspires you or helps you reflect on what you want.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Dear Mamas of Miscarriage…

Dear Mamas of Miscarriage,

I know I’ve written to you before, but I wanted to remind you that you’re not traveling this stormy road alone. No matter how long it has been since you lost your little one, I know that you still think of them. Sometimes you think of what they would’ve looked like, and what it would’ve been like to hold their tiny hand in yours. You may even have dreams about them and what could’ve been. You’re not alone. I promise you; I understand.

No matter how long it has been, you still remember exactly how you felt when you found out or began to go through the loss process. At times – sometimes seemingly out of nowhere – that overwhelming sorrow will hit you like a ton of bricks. You’ll want to just stop and cry for the little one you never got to hold, and it is okay to cry no matter how long it has been. You’re not alone. I promise you; I understand.

When you’ve had a miscarriage, you can feel completely alone in the world. There is a lot of stigma around talking about miscarriages, but the reality is the only way to stop the stigma is to talk about them. When we experienced our loss, I remember thinking that I would be judged for having done something wrong to cause it, made to feel ashamed for what happened, and expected to never talk about something taboo. However, I found that for myself talking about it was a coping mechanism. By talking about it, I’ve had numerous others open up to me that I didn’t realize were concealing their own stories. You’re not alone. I promise you; I understand.

For the days when the memories hit you like a ton of bricks, you can reach out to me, and I’ll listen.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Virtual Victories

Today I had the opportunity to participate in Ignite 2022, a virtual conference for one of my careers. I know there are a lot of people excited to return to in-person conferences, but I not so secretly hope that virtual conferences are here to stay. In fact, I believe that in some ways virtual conferences are better than in-person. Why? I’m glad you asked! Drum roll please…channels Dave Letterman… “And now, Top 10 Virtual Victories!”

Number 10 – Woke Up in My Bed – Some hotel beds are really nice, but I am much more rested when I get to wake up in my bed with my pillow that knows my head. Plus, not to sound all Goldilocks, but my mattress is just right!

Number 9 – Last Minute for the Win – I am a last minute person which can be problematic with in person conferences. In fact it’s usually why I’m late to the first session of the morning. But with virtual, I’m always on time even if I get out of the shower ten minutes before go time!

Number 8 – Fewer Distractions – Most of the time I have the attention span of a goldfish. There are times that talking to me is very reminiscent of talking to Dory in Finding Nemo. With virtual conferences, I can provide myself with the accommodations that I need for success like a quiet room, non distracting lighting, and stretch breaks to regain focus. I can also watch sitting or standing which can help me.

Number 7 – No Parking Issues – in my garage my car always has a spot! I don’t have to fret over where I’m going to park, if the Valet is going to lose my car (it happened once but that’s a story for another day), or how much parking costs!

Number 6 – Comfy Chair – can we all agree that most conference seats are not meant for bigger people? As a bigger person height and weight wise, I always feel like I’m sitting on the people next to me. I always feel uncomfortable when I feel like I’m up in somebody else’s business. Also, I’ve got back issues, so being at home in my own chair saves me from a post conference chiropractor appointment!

Number 5 – No Idle Chit Chat – I’m what one would call an extroverted introvert. I am good at being social, and I enjoy it in the right doses and settings. However, big events like conferences, open houses, vendor fairs, etc drain my battery. I enjoy them while they are happening, but afterwards I need time to recuperate mentally and emotionally.

Number 4 – Dress Up from the Waist Up – I spent the whole conference in pajama pants! From the waist up I had on a nice shirt, cardigan, jewelry, and makeup done. However, I had on comfy pants! Also, I didn’t have to wear shoes! Wearing shoes all day is for the birds!

Number 3 – Best Concession Stand Ever – Imagine a concession stand with no waiting where water doesn’t cost $4 a bottle and only favorite foods are served! That’s right, the best concession stand is my own kitchen! This concession stand served Caesar salad, pomegranates, Diet Coke, and water! Glad it was all free because I drank 4 bottles of water!!! Best part? I didn’t have to worry about things I won’t eat or am allergic to! My concession stand rocks!

Number 2 – No Line at the Ladies Room – Any time I had to go to the bathroom, there was no line! I could just walk right in my own bathroom and go! Bonus? No questionable droplets on the toilet seat and no cringing because people for some reason forget how to flush in public!

Number 1 – Time With Family – When I attend virtual conferences I get to see my husband and toddler IMMEDIATELY when it is over. There’s no travel time where I’m super antsy and irritable because I miss them so much. All I have to do is leave my office! Approximately 10 steps from my office to my hugs!

What are your top Virtual Victory for Virtual Conferences?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby