Uncategorized – The Great Kaysby

Stronger Together

From a young age we are taught the importance of independence. We are taught how important it is to be self reliant and not need the help of others. In a lot of instances this is true. It’s good to be able to take care of your own hygiene needs; it’s good to be able to cook for yourself; it’s good to be able to take care of your own basic daily living needs. However, there are times in our lives when we are stronger together and having people work together accomplishes more than an individual can achieve. The Tornadoes of December 10 and 11 are a great example of people being stronger together!

December 10 started out as an ordinary day for me. I was going to work, and that night I planned to have LilKsby watch Santa come by on the fire truck that night. During my second block class, students started asking me if I thought there would be tornadoes that night. I’m not big on paying attention tothe weather – that is more of Mr Kisby’s department – so I said “oh I don’t know”. As the day went on, I realized the threat of storms was very really. When the fire department preventively cancels Santa, you know the weather is going to be bad! The threat quickly became reality as around 10:15 the first tornado warning – yes first – was issued for our area. While taking cover in our basement, I first noticed how important being stronger together in a disaster is. I can’t count how many people were posting about the warnings on social media to make sure everyone was informed. I also can’t tell you how many messages I saw asking if people were accounted for or people saying they were safe. Even once the first warning expired, people were checking in one another making sure everyone had what they needed and offering help as they could.

Two hours later, the second warning was issued. I was sure that this time we would be hit. By pure luck and helpful geography, we were spared. However many were not so lucky. It turned out that during 24 hours and 11 minutes on December 10 and 11, there were 61 tornadoes from the storm system including the Quad State Tornado and the Tornado Family that damaged much of Western Kentucky. The destruction that was seen by the late of day on December 11 was incomprehensible even with pictorial evidence. The light of day was devastating to say the least. However, the devastation once again proved that people are stronger together.

How did a tornado outbreak prove people were stronger together? Simple, people have come together by the multitude to help. Organizations have spear headed donation drives and taken semi truck loads of needed items like diapers, baby wipes, water, personal hygiene items, etc to the impacted areas. Small business owners of food trucks have driven hours to go Western Kentucky just to give free meals to those in need. I’ve heard of people donating blood; I’ve heard of people taking their excavators to help go through the rumble. I’ve seen personal vehicles lined up to take donations to drop off points. I’ve seen people open their homes to serve meals. Dollar donations have also been amazing! The support of people uniting to help is proof that even though we are taught to be independent that we are stronger together!

As time goes forward and areas begin to heal from the devastation, I hope that the importance of stronger together will remain. I hope that we will continue to be stronger together in everyday life and not just during tragedies.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

“I Meant To”

I meant to wake up for Zumba this morning. “I meant to” is one of the worst phrases in the English language because it always has something behind it that didn’t happen. It can be trivial: “I meant to put the toilet seat down.” It can be inconvenient: “I meant to pack your toothbrush, but I forgot.” (I still haven’t lived that one down, and it has been 11 years.) It can also be serious: “I meant to pay the electric bill.” Luckily, just missing Zumba simply means I overslept and missed out on exercise.

Do you ever find yourself thinking about things you meant to do? Do you ever find yourself kicking yourself because you didn’t do them? I think this pandemic is a perfect time for thinking about things you meant to do and planning to do some of them. For example, you could plan a vacation you’ve been meaning to take! You could read that book that you’ve been meaning to read! You could clean out the closet you’ve been meaning to organize! There are all kinds of things you could do that fall in the “I meant to” category.

Need an example?

I’m finally learning guitar, blogging more, reading more, taking time for movies (usually in the background while doing something else), spending time outside more, and improving my baking skills. All of these had fallen in the “I meant to” category for a long time! None of these are serious, but they are all things I’ve enjoyed which is important!

What are you finally doing that you used to always say “I meant to”?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Scheduled Summer

As a teacher, I’m very used to having a set schedule that I have to follow. The bell rings at time X. First block begins at time Y, second block begins at time Z, and this pattern continues until the final bell to go home at the end of the day. After school, I have a set routine to follow based on the day, I go to bed around the same time, and I get up the next morning and do it all over again. In a lot of ways, life during the school year becomes like the directions on the back of the shampoo bottle: “Rinse, lather, repeat; rinse, lather, repeat.”

Given the grind of each day, you may think, “Man, I bet she loves Summer Break and having nothing she has to do.” Having nothing to do sounds good on paper. So does being able to stay up until all hours and sleep as late as I want (maybe I’m an overgrown teenager at heart). However, do you know what I’ve learned about myself as I’ve grown as a person (grown as a person sounds more positive than gotten older)? I’m like a fish out of water when I don’t have something that I have to do.

If I don’t have a to do list or an event to look forward to, I find myself sitting around either waiting for someone to entertain me, wasting a lot of time in my recliner, or driving Mr Kisby crazy with “Whatcha doing?” or “What’s your plan for the day?” I bet I ask the second one at least twice a day on average. When you’re so used to your days having to be structured, it can be really hard to have a lot of free time. That’s why I find myself having to have “To Do” lists even during summer to feel like I’ve been productive. Some days my “To Do” list might be simple like “Scoop Litter” and “Pay Bill X”, but there is something about that list that makes my day a million times better. For me, it is the intrinsic satisfaction that comes from checking something off the list. Plus, I love the visual of a completed list. Nothing to me is more freeing than looking at that completed list. It’s almost like the completed list is a ticket to fun and goofing off by doing things like wasting time in the recliner!

I also thrive on having events/activities to look forward to. For example, I’m super excited about starting Virtual Get Ready Camp and Summer Reading with LilKsby this week. I’m thrilled that for like an hour 4 or 5 days a week that we’re going to have a planned activity. Having these helps me to feel like we’re accomplishing something. Then when we’re done, we can spend the rest of the day sitting in his baby pool! Well, he can sit in it, and I can sit in my camp chair and make faces at him. 🙂 I also thrive on having vacations to look forward too. In some ways, I enjoy planning the vacation (aka looking at pretty pictures of things to do and going “ooo, ahh”) as much as going on the vacation. I’m truly a happier, more productive (and easier to be around) when I have a “to do” list and things to look forward to doing.

Now, all of this said. I do enjoy staying up late and sleeping until 9 or 10 every morning. Frankly, I’m proud that I’ve seemed to be able to get LilKsby to accept this routine as well. I also enjoy the occasional day when to quote Bruno Mars, “Today I don’t feel like doing anything/I just wanna lay in my bed”. However, for the most part I need an outline for the day to keep from driving those around me bananas. You know what? I’m finally at a place in life where I’m okay with that, and it doesn’t bother me to not be more spontaneous. I hope you too can find that peace.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

A Taste of the Future?

Today, I had to go to work. I don’t say that as a complaint given that I have been fortunate enough to be able to teach from home since March 17. I say it as a fact. Going in the school today was very surreal. Due to Covid-19 there are new protocols that must be followed: temperature checks when entering, masking wearing, staying six feet from co-workers, limiting the number of people in the school, etc.

The day began with parking in the front of the building in an area that on a normal day would be filled with buses dropping students off for school. Today on a “normal” day, the students would have been jumping over puddles (okay, even in high school some would have been jumping in them). There would’ve been the buzz of chatter about what everyone did over the weekend and groans about having to get up early and come to school. Instead, there were teachers running through the pouring rain to get to the line at the front door. Then, there was a line of teachers spaced six feet from the next, wearing masks, and waiting to get their temperature checked to determine if they could enter the building or had to go home. As an adult, I understand the necessity of the new protocol. From the perspective of a student, I could see how it would be terrifying.

From a young age, we are taught that school should be somewhere we feel safe; school should be somewhere that we feel like someone cares about us. For me, it is hard to fathom how kids could feel either of those when they can’t come close to a teacher to tell them something in confidence, or a mask has to be worn hiding facial expressions. I also cannot imagine how kids can foster an environment of developing social skills and friendships when they have to remain six feet from one another. Imagine, having lunch and having to sit six feet from your friends. There won’t be any swapping your chocolate milk with someone for their chocolate chip cookie!

Beyond lunch, I think about how many kids like to share with one another. They share phones, games, iPads, clothes, etc. Most of them naturally have something that they want to share with someone else. Now we have to tell them, “No, Johnny, don’t share with Susie. Yes, it’s polite, but there is a pandemic.” On the plus side, this could help with PDA problems.

I feel like today was just a taste of the future for teachers. I believe that it was a tiny insight into what the coming school year could – emphasis on could – be like for us and our students. Do you want the truth? On a lot of levels, it is heartbreaking. Most of us who went into teaching entered the profession because we care about people namely kids. We want to be there for them as a mentor and educator. We’ve done our best this spring through NTI, and we’ve put on brave faces as we’ve done Google Meets and videos for our kids. However, on the inside our hearts were breaking wondering about our students. Are they okay at home? Are they eating? Are they healthy? Do they have all the necessities? Seeing them in our classrooms each day was sometimes the only way these questions could be answered. Returning to school will alleviate some of that heartache, but I feel like it is going to open us up to a whole new set of emotions if things aren’t “normal”.

I applaud all of those who are having to make difficult decisions right now that impact our students. My hat is off to principals, superintendents, school boards, state department of education workers, and anyone else in decision making capacities. You are making decisions that no one could’ve ever told you that you would be making. When we were all getting our various degrees there was no class called “Dealing with a Pandemic 101”. And though the future may taste bittersweet, I know that you all are doing what is best for our students as a whole. Thank you for that.

To all of our students, don’t be scared about the future. Even if we are behind masks, we’re still here for you.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

To the Class(es) of 2020…I’m Sorry

To the Class(es) of 2020,

First and foremost, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that your academic school year was cut short; however, I’m more sorry that you missed out on all of the extra events that school provides which you cannot find anywhere else. I’m sorry that you missed out on baseball and softball games, tennis matches, spring formals, senior proms, awards ceremonies, graduations, breakfasts and lunches with friends, and last day good-byes. How could you have known on your last day in March that you should’ve said, “See you next year” instead of “Have a good weekend”? Personally, as a teacher, I wish I would’ve said a lot more on March 12 than what I said: “Have a good weekend.” (We were on a scheduled day off on March 13 when the NTI news came.) I feel for every student who has missed out during the last 6 weeks, but for those who were somehow a piece of the Class of 2020 puzzle, here are some special notes for you.

Pre-School and Kindergarten Class of 2020: In a lot of ways you are the luckiest of the Classes of 2020. If you’re like me, then by the time you’re 30, you won’t remember a lot of Pre-School and Kindergarten. To this day, the only parts I remember of Kindergarten graduation were the blow up stegosaurus and song about PBJ. My biggest hope for you is that when you get to return to school you still have a passion for whatever was your favorite part of school. If you loved reading time, I hope you still love reading time. If you loved art or PE, I hope you are still as creative or physically active when you go back to school.

5th Grade and 8th Grade Class of 2020: Having gone to elementary and middle school many moons ago, I didn’t have a graduation ceremony when making these transitions. However, I understand why you’re upset about missing yours. First of all, you are missing out on saying good-bye to the place where you’ve grown up. For 5th graders, you’re not getting to say good-bye to the place that took you from being a little child to a pre-teen. Everything that has been so familiar to you for 6 years will be replaced with something new and unfamiliar. That’s scary. For 8th graders, you’re not getting to say good-bye to the place that took you from pre-teen to teen. Middle school is only a brief time period, but so much happens in middle school that starts to shape the person you are going to be as an adult. Middle school is a time of physical changes, emotional changes, and a lot of friendship changes yet there is still the safety net of childhood. You’re about to find yourself in a world where credits matter, career pathways are emphasized, and college is talked about from day one. I’m sorry that you missed out on two months of being the big fish in your small pond. I promise that even though you’re going to go back to being a little fish in a bigger pond, you will eventually be the big fish again. I hope that when you go to either middle or high school that you’re not scared of the change. I hope that you go into your new school with a positive attitude ready to take on the world!

Senior Class of 2020: I’m so sorry. You’ve been robbed. You’ve been robbed of experiences that you will never get to replace: prom, getting your yearbook signed, graduation photos, traditional graduation, Project Grad, graduation parties, and even a final summer of fun freedom. I know there are no words that are currently going to make you feel better about these losses, and I cannot begin to imagine how you feel about missing out on everything. I may have hated my own high school graduation (it was outside with 40 degree weather and raining, and girls had to wear see through white gowns), but there was so much about the end of my senior year that I loved. There was fun with friends that I still think of and find myself laughing about! I’m so sorry that you’re missing out on that. If I had a magic wand that I could wave and make all of this change for you, then I would wave it in a heartbeat. My hope for you is that you are one day able to look back on all this and see a silver lining. I hope that you’re finding ways to connect with your friends and teachers. I hope that you are still finding ways to celebrate victories such as earning scholarships, getting accepted to college, and maintaining desired GPAs. I hope that you know you are loved by your parents, friends, family members, teachers, and countless others who don’t even know you but are wishing you well. I hope you know that there are generous people who want to bless you if you’ll open your heart to them. I hope that you don’t let this experience negatively impact the course of your life.

College Graduates of 2020: You all are in an interesting situation. For one, a lot of your classes already do the majority of their work online even if they also have in person meetings. For two, attending your graduation ceremony is optional. (Of the three degrees that I earned, I only went to the graduation ceremony for one of them.) That said, you are still missing out on some valuable experiences during your last semester of college. For a lot of degrees, the last semester is when you student teach or do internships or field work which you’ve had to miss out on completing. This means you’ve missed out on valuable work experience that helps with your resume and post graduation job search. Additionally, you’ve missed out on a lot of the last semester help that you’re adviser can give you. For those seeking an advanced degree, you’re missing out on planning time with an adviser; for those seeking immediate employment, you’re missing out on job searching with an adviser. My hope for you is that you will find yourself successful in your next endeavor!

I want to leave you with the video that I always play for my kids at the end of the school year. I hope that you will find some advice in it that will help you in laugh or at least get a laugh.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

New Normal

“We will get through this. We will get through this together.” – Gov Andy Beshear, everyday at 5 pm

March 1 – 28 days ago – we were driving home from attending a wedding. It was a great trip, so great that we talked about going back for Spring Break at the end of the month. If you would’ve asked me on that car ride home what we’d be doing in four weeks, then never in my wildest dreams would I have thought the answer would be social distancing and finding a new normal amid a pandemic.

Yet here we are…

We find ourselves in a new situation where every tickle in your throat has you wondering if shortness of breath is soon to follow, or if the warm feeling is because it’s hot out, or you have a fever. We find ourselves hearing about toilet paper hoarding and sections of grocery stores being desolate. When we have to be out, we’re supposed to be no closer than 6 feet from anyone else. If we don’t have to be out, then we need to be home. #healthyathome is trending, which is great because it means people are following directions, and a new normal is developing all over the globe.

My new normal truly started on March 17, the day we began teaching school online from home. The last two weeks of NTI days have been the hardest two weeks in my teaching career work wise. I’ve had to learn a whole new bag of tricks while trying my best to be just as effective virtually as I am in the classroom! I’m very thankful that I have an awesome PLC for support.

Teaching from home aside, regular home life has been different too. There’s been very little face to face contact with the outside world. When there has been, it’s been either passing folks while going for a walk or the people working hard to make necessity pick up happen. We’ve become accustomed to seeing family virtually each day instead of in person. We’re cooking meals more than ever, and I’ve not watched this much television since having the flu twice in 2018! (Sidebar: binge watching Boy Meets World was AMAZING!)

But do you know what else has happened?

We’ve come to love our governor!

LilKsby clapped for the first time!

I’ve gotten more sweet baby snuggles than I ever dreamed possible!

I’ve realized how much fun can be had without leaving the house!

We’ve just sat and talked!

I’ve gotten the recommended amount of sleep frequently!

It hasn’t all been bad! We’re adapting to this new normal, and we’ll continue to do so. We will continue to try and be the best people we can in this odd situation. Will there be tough days? Yup! Will there be moments of anxiety? Yup! We’re still human after all! But those are just moments, and we’re working to win the long game!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Frost for Thought

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled…” – – Robert Frost, “The Road Not Taken”

“He will not go behind his father’s saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, ‘Good fences make good neighbors.” – – Robert Frost, “Mending Wall”

My day job – the one that supports the life I envision for me and my family – is that of a Junior English teacher. During the last trimester of the school year, we always cover 1900s American Literature. In preparing for that to begin, I’ve found myself with the words of Robert Frost stuck in my head. The quotes above are from two of his poems that I teach, and I usually find that they lead to good in class discussions. The discussion always becomes what is better, taking the road less traveled or doing things for the sake of tradition?

I’d love to say that anytime I come to a fork in the room that I take the road less traveled, but that would be a lie. The road less traveled often involves doing difficult tasks or trying new things with no guarantee of a desirable outcome. It is a road that can involve blood, sweat, and tears which is why it is often times easier to stay on the well trodden path. However, it can also be a road that has an arduous journey yet leads to the most abundant joy imaginable! When I think of the road less traveled like this, I immediately think of the pregnancy journey MrKisby and I went through and how perfect LikKsby is! I think of how much I love teaching, and how glad I am that I didn’t go into management like my first degree!

But there have been many times in life where I’ve taken the easy road; times in life where I’ve just followed tradition without questioning it. Sometimes it has definitely been easier to just fall into routines and follow the status quo. I think of times when you tell yourself things like “It’s okay that I’m overweight; it’s genetic” or “I can’t do this because of INSERT REASON.” There are definitely times when it is easier to just rebuild the wall than question why you’re doing it in the first place.

Reflecting over the two choices, I think it is good to have a personality that is a mix of both thought patterns. There are traditions that it is perfectly fine to not question because they are fun and harmless. It is perfectly okay to take the easy way out at times because seriously why make things harder if that causes stress? I think as long as you’re open to trying the road less taken and do so every once and again, then you’ve found the balance between.

And I think that’s a good way to live. That’s my Frost for thought. What do you think?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Goodbye Grumpy Grumps

“So no one told you life was going to be this way. Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, you’re love life’s DOA.” – “I’ll Be There For You”, The Rembrandts

Ever wake up in a grumpy mood? You might be grumpy for no apparent reason other than you want to be grumpy that day; you might be grumpy because you’ve let things pile up and they are stressing you out. For whatever reason you find yourself channeling Ross Geller from early seasons of Friends when he’d walk in and say, “Hi” with the most depressed tone of voice on the planet. (Seriously, that “Hi” alone should’ve gotten him an Emmy!) Which I suppose season one Ross is better than season five Ross when he goes all crazy over a sandwich made from Thanksgiving leftovers! Either way, some days you just find yourself in a mood where no one should mess with you!

The question then becomes, how do you shake that grump-o-saurus mood? If you’re looking for answers, then here are some of my go to things to shake a bad mood!

Daydream about vacations! I love to travel (remember why I started the blog in the first place)! The beach and the mountains are my two happiest geographical locations on the planet. So when I’m feeling grumpy, it is fun to pretend I’m planning a vacation for an upcoming break! The catch with this tactic is to not actually book a vacation because then you spend money you don’t have and get grumpy again when the bill comes!
Write! Many times a blog idea comes when I’m experiencing some sort of emotion that I want to sort out. Just putting things into words even if you throw them away, rip them up, or burn them is very therapeutic.
Brain dump! When I have a lot on my mind, sometimes I like to do a brain dump. This is especially helpful when I’m feeling overwhelmed because there are a lot of things to be completed. I will brain dump every task I can think of onto a piece of paper. Then I put all of the things into one of four categories: Urgent and Necessary, Important but Not Urgent, Delegate, or Do Whenever. I’m also known to brain dump and put things into categories like home, family, work, and self care. I find brain dumping very useful!
Turn the music up and dance like nobody is watching! Dance like Phoebe Buffay runs! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-IVhJLD0sQ
Allow yourself a break from everything you need to do for a short period and do something mindless like watch TV, play a game, take a hot shower, etc.
Exercise, meditate, or do some deep breathing.
Sing loudly like you’re Alanis bashing an ex-lover back in the day! Sidebar: Is that song really about Dave Coulier?
Talk to a trusted friend who will listen without judgment.
Read my blog! LOL

Okay, so the last one might not be my greatest suggestion, but it is there if you need it. Hopefully some of these methods can help you say “Goodbye Grumpy Grumps!” If you’ve got other suggestions, then I’d love to see them in the comments!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

‘Tis the Gift to be Giving

This blog was originally handwritten on 12/23/19, and it is being typed on 12/29. Christmas may have passed, but the message is still pertinent.

Lying here awake at 4 am, I find myself staring at my husband and son. There is gifts that need to be wrapped, shopping to be done, and crafts to be made, but looking at my sweet boy, I realize how much none of that matters. I don’t feel this way because he’s a baby and won’t remember; I feel this way because we’ve already established with him traditions that are more important than any present underneath the Christmas tree.

1) Angel Tree – since before we were married, Mr Kisby and I have adopted 1 or 2 kids from the Angel Tree. We are beyond blessed even at our hardest points in life, and it is important to share those blessings. This year we shopped as a family. It felt really nice to know our family was blessing others. This year Mr Kisby and I picked our angel, and soon I hope LilKsby will feel led to pick who we bless.

2) Fellowship – Christmas is full of parties like Sushimas. At these events we see some people like once a year, yet it will seem like we haven’t been apart. I hope LilKsby will one day have these kinds of friendships.

3) Baking – growing up, my Uncle David would always make candy during the holidays. He would give it to friends, family, and people in the community as a thank you for their service. I never learned to make candy, but I can bake like a champ. Every year I make a pecan pie for my dad, something chocolate for the rest of the family, and something for our doctors and vet. I think extra thank yous are important this time of year as everyone enjoys feeling appreciated.

4) Christmas Cards – I know a lot of mail is uncommon these days which might be why receiving cards is so nice. Sending them is even better to me as it is a way of sending a little piece of love to those you care about in the world.

Now it is 4:30 am, and my sweet boy is semi awake and nursing happily. I smile to myself thinking of another baby boy being nursed by his mother in a stable. That baby saved the world; I hope mine will show the world that it “tis the gift to be giving”.

And now we nap…

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Comparison Game

Have you ever heard that no two snowflakes are alike? Have you ever heard that no two people are alike? From what I can find via Google, the first one is true. From my life experiences, the second one is true. So given this information, why is it so easy to get caught up in the “Comparison Game”?

I first started thinking about this in context of LilKsby. I fully understand that certain comments are made innocently, but they got me wondering why is there such a desire to compare him to other babies? From birth it seems like he’s either been compared to me, Mr Kisby, other babies we know, or a fancy pants chart of some sort. What’s wrong with LilKsby just being himself? I love that he’s a unique little guy!

The constant comparisons were really starting to annoy me until tonight while power pumping when I had a light bulb moment. I think the comparisons bother me because I’m constantly comparing myself to those I know or read about on the Internet. Some of my “comparison game” moments include:

Breastmilk Production – LilKsby has been formula free since July 30, 2019, but I still make less than most women
Our journey to getting LilKsby
Housekeeping
Decorating for Christmas
Balancing a full time job and being a good mom
Healthy Habits
Weight Loss
Activity level in MK
Amount of sleep
How good of a teacher I am

I’m sure I could keep going, but you get the picture.

As I think of these things, I can’t help but wonder if people ever compare themselves to me. Honestly, I hope they don’t. The truth of the matter is that I’m an awesome person because of everything that is uniquely me. I’m sure not many people can make these claim to fames:

I accidentally entered a National Board Game tournament in 2014 and came in 3rd place!
I’ve lived in two places with garages, and at both of them I backed out of the them and hit the side of the garage. Same car!
I won $11 on scratch offs as a kid and bought a battery operated race car.
I’ve been the Volunteer of the Year with a local Junior Women’s Club twice.
I can’t draw a straight line, but I’m really good at sewing. I also enjoy painting, scrapbooking, and singing. Expressing myself creatively is very important!
I’m right handed on paper, but my left hand is always stronger on strength tests.
I can’t remember yesterday half the time, but I can tell you where I was when First Lady Pat Nixon died: the long defunct Radcliff water slide.
I can name all 50 states alphabetically as long as I can sing that song from elementary school.
I really don’t remember high school graduation other than it being cold and rainy, but I can tell you my kindergarten graduation involved a blow up stegosaurus and singing a song about peanut butter and jelly.
On field day in sixth grade, I came in second place in the free throw competition. First and third place were boys.
I played my dream role in high school when I got to be Emily Webb in Our Town which became one of my favorite plays in elementary school. Every show I’ve been a part of since then has just been icing on the cake!

So when I think about it, the “comparison game” is ridiculous. I may not be like every other wife, mother, daughter, teacher, or business owner, but that is what makes me wonderful! My unique talents and claims to fame make me the AMAZING person that I am. Sometimes I just need a little reminder of just how amazing I am. Don’t we all?

I hope and pray that you are being true to yourself and thriving with your own uniqueness. Be the best you that you can be!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Snow, Snow, Snow!

Do you remember when you were a kid, and you would find yourself hyped anytime snow was in the forecast? You’d stay up late and peek out your window a million time hoping to see the twinkle of snowflakes in the streetlight? Then when you finally fell asleep, you hoped that you’d be woken up the two most magical words: Snow Day!

As a teacher, I still feel this excitement each time snow is in the forecast! In fact, I can’t count how many times I said “We might have a Snow Day tomorrow” at school yesterday! Why do I get so excited about Snow Days? Because they are the only days where there is nothing that has to be accomplished since you thought you were going to work!

For example…

Since we didn’t have to get up and get ready, me, LikKsby, and the four kitties napped until 10 am. There was no rush to go anywhere, so that meant no rush to get dressed. Spoiler alert! I never put on makeup today! After my shower, I brushed my teeth, applied my day cream, put on a clean pair of pajamas, and called it a day.

The rest of the day was spent doing only things that brought me joy. My dad came over with lunch so we could eat, and he could play with LikKsby. I baked cookies, did laundry, finished season three of The Good Place, cleaned the kitchen, worked on my holiday sales for my Mary Kay, and cooked dinner! This evening I fixed the chair portion of LilKsby’s bouncer saucer and did dishes while Mr Kisby played with our baby boy.

More importantly than anything that got done today was the feeling of being a good mommy throughout the day. We had tummy time, worked on name recognition, worked on sitting up unassisted, and played with various toys. We laughed with and “talked” to one another a lot too. There’s nothing more fulfilling than spending a day that you didn’t think you would with your child!

And that’s why I hope there will be a lot of Snow Days! I know they have to be made up, but in the moment there is nothing better.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Dinghy Day

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

-F Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Today, I feel like a boat. I’m like one of those dinghy boats in a hurricane getting flung around.

The day started well enough for a day when there is no school. However, it’s Election Day, and there is some underlying dread about how the results are going to turn out. Perhaps that is the true catalyst for the way the day has played out.

It started with breakfast. As I reached for my hash browns, I knocked my drink onto the floor getting liquid all over the floor and bottom of my recliner. Then we (me and LilKsby) took an unexpected two hour nap which was fine, but led to not accomplishing anything. Our nap was followed by what I can only describe as a pumping rodeo in which I was trying to pump fresh milk for tomorrow while I’m at work as he ate previous pumped milk from a bottle. LilKsby was determined to hold his bottle and pull the pump tubing out at the same time. I was determined to hold him in my right arm and pump with my left hand. Given how naturally stubborn we both are, the situation was rather comical.

The afternoon seemed like it was going to improve, but it turned out our dinghy had just found a lull in the hurricane. Post lunch involved so much crankiness that running errands did not happen. We got home from lunch and a kitten had left stool all over the floor in front of the litter box, into the hallway, and on two of my shoes (two from different pairs I might add). I clean it up, go to feed baby, turn the TV on, and it starts acting like it is going to explode. I turn the TV off.

Then LilKsby has tummy time. Happily, he’s now rolling from tummy to back like a champ, and he’s starting to act like he wants to crawl. Unhappily, he HATES tummy time. He gets so worked up that the next 30-45 minutes are like watching a spit up volcano erupt. During the eruption there is also a diaper earthquake which means the new outfit he wore today now needs some special attention that only a washing machine can give.

I topped the evening off by messing up cooking a frozen pizza. Yes, I said messing up cooking a frozen pizza. I didn’t realize it, but when I cooked the pizza, I cooked it on the cardboard that the pizza came on. Fun fact, this makes the cardboard cook right into the pizza.

By 8 o’clock this boat was ready to return to the shore for the night (aka I was ready for bed). Tomorrow, I’ll set sail on another day’s journey with the hope of being like a yacht on calm waters.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Livin’ La Vida Country Song

I remember hearing a joke once that went like this:

“What do you get if you sing a country song backwards?”

“You get your dog back; you get your truck back; you get your wife back; you get your house back.”

I don’t know who made it up, but I remember thinking the joke was somewhat true as songs like “All My Exes Live In Texas” and “Big D and Don’t Mean Dallas” seem to exemplify the theme. They are way more prominent than the fun upbeat numbers like “The Cigar Song”, “Third Rock From the Sun”, and “5 O’Clock Somewhere”! By the way I do believe that it is always 5 in Margaritaville whether that be located at the restaurant of the same name, my favorite Mexican restaurant, or my kitchen!

Well, it turns out the joke is on me lately, or as I like to look at life, the proof that God does indeed have a sense of humor is on me lately. In the past few weeks, the life of The Great Kaysby, Mr Kisby, and LilKsby (though he doesn’t know it, and hopefully he never will) has become rather like a country song, and not a good pop crossover one like Taylor Swift sings. What do I mean?

Evidence #1 – Mr Kisby is beginning a new chapter in his life aka being laid off. Hooray for jobs being so well automated that people are no longer needed!

Evidence #2 – The air conditioning/heat downstairs is broken for the second time since May. Lucky us as two of us in the house are championship sweaters! Thankfully, Dove deodorant works like a champ!!!

Evidence #3 – Mr Kisby’s car has decided starting is overrated and is boycotting it until further notice.

Evidence #4 – The kittens in the house all need their annual shots, and every good country song involves an animal!

Evidence #5 – There really is no five, but I just like odd numbers better than even. Perhaps because I’m an odd duck!

So yeah, currently we’re livin’ la vida country song, but oddly enough I’m not freaking out which – by the way – totally seems to weird people out. In fact, all of it has been met with an overwhelming since of calm that I can’t explain. Maybe it is because I have faith and a gut feeling that everything is going to be just fine. Actually, it’ll be better than fine! I don’t know how. Maybe we will win the lottery; maybe Ellen Degeneres will read this and invite us on her show. Maybe Taylor Swift will adopt us; maybe our family dream is right around the corner.

Maybe…

I could really go on and on, but I don’t want to because I don’t want to garner sympathy. I believe that “our country song” is the start of something greater than what we ever imagined happening. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and I believe that every cloud has a silver lining! Even as we face uncertainty, I hope I can leave those around me inspired. I’ve got a sleeping LilKsby on my chest, a snoozing Mr Kisby at my side, four fuzzy kitties, a loving family, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food for my tummy. Country song life or not, I am blessed!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Leaving Laramie

The past couple months I’ve had the privilege of working on a production of The Laramie Project. I had the job of costumer which involved making “like big ass wings” for a band of angels, and I performed the part of Trish Steger. Trish is a real person – as are all the other characters in the play – who lived in Laramie, Wyoming when Matthew Shepard was murdered.

“Who is Matthew Shepard?”

That’s a question I was asked yesterday, and at first I didn’t know how to respond. I was flabbergasted that someone didn’t know who Matthew was. I thought knowing about Matthew was as common as knowing about Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Jr., or Mother Teresa. I explained in brief that Matthew was a young man killed for his sexual orientation.

However, Matthew was so much more than that! He was a college student studying political science, friend, son, and brother who was passionate about equality. In his brief time on earth he saw more of the world than some of us will ever see as he lived in Saudi Arabia and went to high school in Switzerland. Tragically, he was savagely murdered in Laramie, Wyoming for being gay. At the time of his death he was 21 years old, and now it has been 21 years since his death. I can’t believe that time has passed so quickly that Matthew has now been gone for as long as he was alive. Matthew’s death has had a lasting impact not only through The Laramie Project, but also with The Matthew Shepard Foundation (https://www.matthewshepard.org/) and legislation such as the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr Hate Crimes Prevention Act.

For me personally, The Laramie Project has been important because I believe that it is essential to remember events and notable persons of the past. When we – society as a whole – forget the past, then we cannot learn from it and create a better tomorrow. This is the same reason that I liked being a part of The Crucible back in the spring and enjoy teaching it each year! By remembering history through the arts, we can experience the raw emotion of the past and use said emotion for improving our own minds and the minds of those around us. We can teach love, tolerance, and fairness! We can inspire hope and change! Through the arts we can also continue the legacy of ordinary people who’ve purposefully or unintentionally played a part in extraordinary things!

So as I leave Laramie behind, I can say that being a part of this show – even though I only had 6 sets of lines and dressed folks – has been an impacting, significant experience that I have learned from and will never forget. To all those who were part of the cast and crew, you did a terrific job of breathing life into Laramie! To all those who saw the show, I hope you felt moved to make a difference to someone in your life! To those who didn’t see it, take some time to learn about Matthew Shepard (another great resource is http://eatromaine.com/1/index-laramie.html).

Most of all, never forget…

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Remember You

The best way to describe Mama Brain – the postpartum version of Baby Brain – is that it is like when you are finishing your shower, and you can’t recall if you actually used shower gel or just thought you did. Sometimes you might wash again to be sure, other times you may just feel your loofah, be satisfied that it is wet, and hope for the best. I think everyone – parent or not – has had that feeling! For me Mama Brain is usually a sign that my brain is overloaded, and I need a little time for me even if it is just five minutes.

Me time…I think that is my biggest piece of advice for new parents. Take some time for yourself because without some “me time”, you can’t recharge and be the best mommy or daddy possible. That said, here are some of the me time things that I thought I’d share. 😊

Eyebrow maintenance – I’ve got some unruly and scarred (I’m one of the clumsiest people ever) eyebrows, and it can make me feel like a new lady to take five minutes and pluck them! And as a bonus, when my eyebrows are thinner it is harder for people to discern whether or not my hair is its natural color or not. I like to keep folks guessing!

Shaving your legs – This one takes some time to accomplish, but there is a refreshing, rejuvenated feeling that goes along with not being able to spy your leg hairs at a distance. Usually I don’t notice until I’m wearing a skirt at school, and then I find myself wondering if everyone else can see them too. Plus it is nice to not feel your leg hair through your pajamas!

Read – a book, a magazine, a website, anything! It’s nice to get lost in someone else’s world for a few minutes. YA books are some of my favs because they don’t require much thought. Recently, I’ve been tearing through Meg Cabot’s Heather Wells series. Reading has also helped me stay awake during late night pumping and nursing sessions.

Writing – the most therapeutic me time in my opinion! Whether it is journaling to have a brain dump or brainstorming novel ideas, I find writing to be relaxing.

Napping – There are days when nothing is more perfect than having Mr Kisby take care of LilKsby while I take a nap for an hour. It’s the most restful sleep ever!

Video Games – a good mindless activity to relax! I love that there are a variety of things I can do with video games. I can defend the Horde or Alliance, sing Karaoke, and solve word puzzles.

Tell me, parents out there what are your favorite me times?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby