family – Page 3 – The Great Kaysby

10, 7, 5 Principle!

This evening I was listening to a recent conference from my direct selling business, and there was a concept that really stuck out to me. In 2017, Pamela Waldrop Shaw discussed three things that drive change. Her three things were as follows: 10 – Significant Events, 7 Critical Decisions, and 5 Influential People. When I heard this, I immediately thought about the recent change in my life to Work From Home Mama and how the 10, 7, 5 Principle applied to that change. Here is my reflection so that you can see the Principle in application!

10 Significant Events

First Pregnancy & Miscarriage – 2018
Princess Court of Sales Achievement – 2018
Second Pregnancy – 2018 and 2019
Birth of LilKsby – 2019
Mr Kisby Layoff – 2019
Covid Pandemic – 2020-Present
Pandemic Teaching – 2020-2022
Mr Kisby Graduates – 2021
Mr Kisby New Job – 2022
Social Issues and Injustices – Ongoing

7 Critical Decisions

Mr Kisby deciding to go to school instead of finding “just another job”.
Keeping LilKsby at home during the 2020-21 school year. This made me realize how much I longed to be at home with him.
Realizing that I don’t like being made to feel expendable. Also the existential dread associated with starting the last two school years during Covid peaks was mentally overwhelming to me.
Deciding that homeschool feels like the best option for us as we want our child to grow up with an education that reflects our values. This means more than just intertwining faith and academics. It means teaching equality, respect, fairness, and how to be an ally!!!
Determining that an abundance of money is not as important as living a fulfilled life by our priorities. Yes, I know things cost money. Yes, I know you have to have enough money. Yes, we like to play the lottery. However, money is not the most important thing to us.
Realizing that it is more important to live by our priorities than the priorities others give us.
Making the choice to leave teaching after 11 years.

5 Influential People

The Holy Trinity – I prayed a lot over the decision to make the change from teaching to work from home mama. Ultimately I was able to follow what was put on my heart, and even though my brain wants to panic sometimes, I’m doing my best to follow FAITH over Fear! When change is imminent, I highly recommend praying to your Deity. Not religious? Then I recommend lots of self reflection!
Mr Kisby – My husband, my partner in life, my biggest cheerleader!
LilKsby – My Sweet Boy and the one who learns more from watching us than anything else.
Homeschool Friends – I see the magnificent wonders they have worked in their children’s lives, and that is what I want for LilKsby.
Entrepreneur Friends – Seeing them live their truths by their priorities is impacting!

So there you have the 10, 7, 5 principle! My 10, 7, 5 spanned a four year time period. For others their time period might be longer, and for some it might be shorter. Also, a lot more than 5 people influenced me, but that gives you the concept. As I’m embarking on this change, I think it is good to reflect. It keeps the perspective fresh and the path set right.

What change are you contemplating?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Great Resignation

By this point most people have heard of “The Great Resignation.” It is a phenomenon happening in our country where people are leaving jobs in mass. This is not occurring because people don’t want to work (despite what certain groups want you to believe). It is occurring because people want to find work that does more than pay the bills; it is occurring because people want to feel valued and purpose filled. On June 30, I joined “The Great Resignation”.

People who know me know that I’m a hard worker to the point that I’ve been known to work so much it’s bad for my health. With only a few gaps, I’ve spent the last 21 years of my life working. Of those years, 18 were with my last employer in a couple different positions. A lot of great things have occurred in my life involving work. So what changed and led to me joining “The Great Resignation”? In short, I changed.

For me becoming a mom and the Covid pandemic reshaped my priorities. My top priorities have become faith, family, and living by my beliefs along with living a purpose filled life based on said priorities. So when provided the opportunity to become a work from home mom, I couldn’t pass up the chance. I’m still transitioning to work from home life, but I can already say that I’m doing the most rewarding job I’ve ever had.

From my own experience, I encourage you to re-evaluate your priorities. If you’re not living by them, then consider if it is time to find something new. Joining “The Great Resignation” could bring you more joy than you ever knew possible!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

I’m Playing in the Rain

In the song “I Am” from Kid Rock’s self titled album there is a lyric that asks “Have you seen the Nothern falls, ot the Midwest seasons changing? A Montana storm, or a warm Kentucky rain?” While I’ve never seen the Northern falls or a Montana storm, I can attest to the beauty and calm of a warm Kentucky rain. One of my favorite things to do in summer is be outside when it is raining. There’s something naturally refreshing about having rain pour down your skin on a hot day. I can’t put it in words, but it is a feeling that I hope everyone can experience at least once a summer.

Today, we got to experience our warm Kentucky rain for the summer. It hasn’t really rained where we live in almost four weeks, so when I saw the rain clouds today, I figured they would be like all of the others and pass us by. Thus without thinking about the weather, LilKsby and I started on a parking lot walk while Mr Kisby had to run an errand. As we’re walking, it began sprinkling. In my mind this was all it was going to do, so we kept walking. To our surprise a warm rain shower began! It was over quickly, but it had enough water to make some puddles. So we took advantage of the occasion and went “puddle hunting” as LilKsby loves a good rain puddle! As we were “hunting” a deluge came! The deluge wasn’t as warm as some rains, but it was so fun! We splashed; we laughed; we got thoroughly soaked. It was peaceful and calm while also being thrilling! The deluge gave us five minutes of fun that will be remembered for a lifetime! It was 100% worth driving home shoeless and being chilly in the AC for a little bit!

If you’ve never played in a warm summer rain, then I suggest putting it on your to do list. There’s nothing like it in the world! If you’ve planned in a warm summer rain, did you enjoy it?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Captain’s Log – Potty Training Day 1

Captain’s Log – 28th of May in the year 2022 – Daily Journey 14 Hours

Today we began the journey of potty training. After one day I’m far from an expert, but I thought other toddler parents might like to know they aren’t alone in the journey. So here are my learnings thus far…

1) Don’t force the potty on them if they aren’t ready. We were guilty of this last summer because we thought as soon as LilKsby turned 2, we needed to push potty training. Well we pushed too much, and he stopped going to the potty all together. He was not ready for the potty, so he quit using a diaper too. It took weeks of doctor calls for advice and lots of pleading to get him to pee regularly again.

2) Wait until they understand what the potty is for. We’ve spent the last few months in preparation by modeling to him how to use the potty. We even verbalize what we’re doing so he would be familiar with the steps. By this I mean saying things like “I’m going pee in the potty. I peed now I get to use toilet paper! I used toilet paper, so now I’m going to flush! Now I get to wash my hands!” This repeated modeling sunk in because today these were the steps he wanted to follow.

3) Don’t let a book make you feel like a bad parent. I read most of a potty training book. At one point it made me feel like a horrible mom because according to the expert, I had failed my child by missing the perfect window of 24-30 months old, and I failed my child because he didn’t have the speech skills of his same aged peers. Side note: the book was written pre-pandemic, and I recently noticed that the CDC has updated their language milestones to levels lower since the pandemic had limited so much socialization and verbal communication without masks. In hindsight I realize that I shouldn’t let a book make me feel like a bad parent, but at the time I wanted to throw the book against the wall.

4) Some tips from books/online articles are helpful. For example, having little potties upstairs and downstairs was helpful. Having him go without a diaper for the first day was also helpful because we could watch more closely for potty signals. It was also beneficial to explain at nap and bed time why we were using a diaper again after making such a big deal over getting rid of it.

5) Potty training takes commitment from the parent(s)/guardian(s). For potty training to be successful you have to be willing and able to commit enough time for them to get the idea of going potty in an environment where they are comfortable and won’t be embarrassed by an accident. To do this, we waited until we had a three day window with no plans which meant for me waiting until school was out. I’m hoping that three days at home solely focused on time together watching for potty signals will give us enough of a window to realize how often we need to go to the potty, how long we can leave the house without the potty, and what trips will require taking the little potty with us. Also, we had to be committed to not getting upset about accidents. We knew they would happen, so instead of getting mad, we addressed what to do different next time. Finally, knowing his love language helped. LilKsby loves words of praise, so you can bet every little tinkle got lots of positive praise!

I’m sure there will be more wisdom learned along the way, and I’m prepared for varying levels of success. Captain’s log signing off…

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

#blessed

Wow! Today marks another trip around the sun, and I am humbled by how #blessed I am! For the last three days, I’ve celebrated turning 39 with Mr Kisby, LilKsby, and other family members. As a bonus, I’ve received several messages wishing me a happy birthday. All of these have been remarkable reminders of how lucky I am to know so many wonderful people who know how to make a gal feel loved!

After two years of pandemic birthdays, feeling loved was the best treat! If the past two years have taught us anything, they’ve taught us how when we’re stressed by unprecedented pandemics, work, not enough time, not enough money, etc, we can forget to show others how much we love them. It’s not an intentional neglect, but more of an accident due to circumstances. I’m guilty, and I’m sure others are guilty too. Luckily, we can always change our ways and find our way back to showing others how much we love them!

As I enter my final year of my 30s, I must say that I’m super excited! This decade has been the best yet for me, and I’m sure that the next decade will be even better! Bonus, I feel like there are a lot of exciting things just on the horizon! For now, I’m going to concentrate on showing others the love that has been shown me!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Faith Over Fear

When I was a little kid, I remember flying a kite with my dad in our field. As we played, the kite string broke, and the kite flew away. I was heartbroken! I threw such a fit that my dad pacified me by taking me on a car ride to find the kite. We never found it, and I was devastated. From that moment, I was CONVINCED that I hated flying kites.

Fast forward 30 (or more) years…

Mr Kisby gets a box from Amazon, and says he has a family surprise. Guess what it was? A kite! Immediately I had flashbacks and thought, “ugh, I hate kites.” However, as parents often do, I put on a happy face so that LilKsby would love the kite. A few days later we went to the park, and we flew the kite. To my surprise, I LOVED flying the kite! Watching it soar in the wind, while I laughed squeals of delight and ran around with LilKsby, was a great time!

That joy got me to thinking, did I really hate kites this whole time? No. What I hated was the memory of losing something. The hate of losing has become a life long trend. As I thought about it, I realized that I have allowed a hate of loss to be the reason I fear doing something. Then I remembered that if we let fear run our lives, we will miss out on a lot of great opportunities. Having faith over fear is a hard lesson to practice, and I think that we have to constantly remind ourselves to use it. As a parent, I frequently tell myself to not show fear of certain things because I don’t want my child to pick up on these fears and miss out. That’s a huge catalyst for me, and why I keep striving to live more fearlessly.

I know that’s a huge lesson to get from a kite, but don’t we find the greatest lessons when we aren’t even looking for them?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

500 Hours

“Look deep into nature, and you will understand everything better.” – Albert Einstein

Over the years I’ve seen various challenges to help get people out of their homes and into nature more. One of the most well known challenges involving this is the 1,000 hours outside challenge. I loved the idea, but the math always stopped me from pursuing it. With 365 days in the year, this meant needing to spend 2.7 hours per day outside. My immediate thought was “I can’t do that, I can’t go out when it’s cold.” That may sound like an excuse, but I have a rare condition called cold urticaria that makes going out in the cold difficult. My next thought was “I don’t have enough time to do that when I get home at 4:30, and LilKsby is ready for bed at 6.” Based on my thoughts, I almost gave up on the idea of an outside challenge before I even started it.

Then a light bulb clicked on in my head. I don’t have to do the same outside challenge that everyone else does; I can adapt the challenge to fit my needs!

From that light bulb moment, the challenge became to spend 500 hours outside with LilKsby this year! For a family that spends most of their time indoors, 500 was not a scary goal in my head. Plus, anything is possible when your why is strong enough!

Sometimes knowing your why is difficult. In this case knowing my why is easy. One, even though I spend a lot of time indoors, I believe that there is a calm, peace, and freedom that one can only find outside. Two, I love to walk outside which improves my health physically and mentally. Three, also the most important of these, I want LilKsby to know there is more to life that being indoors tied to a screen. I want him to run and play, climb on things, splash in puddles, and enjoy the beauty of nature. For this goal, my why is clear!

So far in our journey to 500 hours, we have completed 3 hours. That’s not a lot, but guess what? Yesterday – in one afternoon – we tripled what we had previously achieved! All it takes is a little time here and there to reach a goal of 500 hours! The biggest obstacle to overcome for the goal? Overthinking it. I find myself thinking “Where can we go to play outside?” Well, duh self, you just have to go in your own yard! This goal doesn’t require going to a park or a place for hiking (though that is fun too). This goal literally just requires stepping out the door!!!

So as we embark on our journey to achieve 500 hours outside, wish us luck! Pray for minimal sunburns (for real though because the other day I got a little sunburned waiting in the Zaxby’s drive thru for 20 minutes) and bug bites for us! As you’re cheering us on our way, I challenge you to come up with your own 500 hours challenge. I’ll cheer you on!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

What This Working Mama Wants ❤️

Growing up it was always emphasized to my generation that women can be anything they want. They can have a career; in fact they can have any career a man can have perhaps with the exception of penis model. They can live on their own and live the single life ala Sex and the City; they can live with roommates; they can cohabitate with a domestic partner. They can even go the more traditional route and pursue marriage and children. At some point, I’ve pretty much covered all these bases with feeling totally fine about the fact that I can’t be a penis model. Although for me the single life was nothing like Sex and the City, partially because I prefer video games to bars.

The most fulfilling of all the things I’ve been? The role of mama! There’s truly nothing like it! As a working mama and wife, I’m not good at doing the traditional “wife jobs”. Partially because I don’t have a lot of time, but also because I’m not big on a lot of domestic things. My restaurant receipts alone will tell you that I’m more Stephanie Plum than Samantha Stephens in the kitchen! Many may think that the shear fact that women like me can have it all is all we want. However, while I enjoy having the possibilities, there are other things I want as a working mama!

The number one thing I want as a working mama? The gift of time with my family. On a typical work day, I leave at 7 am and pick LilKsby up between 4 and 4:30. That’s 9 to 9 1/2 hours without him. When we get home, we have dinner, bath, and he is usually asleep by 7. This means when you factor in the half hour I see him before work, I only see my child for approximately 3 1/2 hours per day five days a week. That’s not the kind of math I like. So, my number one want? More time with family!

I also want to have an irrational emotional/mental meltdown every once in a while as someone listens to me vent. I am very lucky to have Mr Kisby and friends that allow this. If I didn’t, I might go crazy. The feeling split between being a great employee (especially in a field that requires a great deal of compassion and is constantly being put down and under minded by legislation) and being the best mama and spouse possible can be exhausting physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am amazed at the people who do it without ever having a come apart because I’ve got to let it out sometimes!

The last thing I want? This one may sound selfish, but self care isn’t selfish. I need time to just be me. It’s really easy to forget who you are when you’re consumed by being a mama, wife, and worker. It can be easy to lose yourself when you’re busy taking care of other people. That’s why I think it’s important to take time and enjoy things you like doing. This is why I read, write, create, and play video games. It’s important to me to still have time for things that I enjoy; it’s important to have time for the things that make me who I am! I truly believe that when I am my best me, then I can be my best in every other role that I have!

I could get into a lot more universal issues that I want as a working mama, but I feel like those pertain to lots of mamas and not just me. Maybe other mamas have the same wants as me. Maybe I just wanted to write about my thoughts today. Either way, I hope this some inspires you or helps you reflect on what you want.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Virtual Victories

Today I had the opportunity to participate in Ignite 2022, a virtual conference for one of my careers. I know there are a lot of people excited to return to in-person conferences, but I not so secretly hope that virtual conferences are here to stay. In fact, I believe that in some ways virtual conferences are better than in-person. Why? I’m glad you asked! Drum roll please…channels Dave Letterman… “And now, Top 10 Virtual Victories!”

Number 10 – Woke Up in My Bed – Some hotel beds are really nice, but I am much more rested when I get to wake up in my bed with my pillow that knows my head. Plus, not to sound all Goldilocks, but my mattress is just right!

Number 9 – Last Minute for the Win – I am a last minute person which can be problematic with in person conferences. In fact it’s usually why I’m late to the first session of the morning. But with virtual, I’m always on time even if I get out of the shower ten minutes before go time!

Number 8 – Fewer Distractions – Most of the time I have the attention span of a goldfish. There are times that talking to me is very reminiscent of talking to Dory in Finding Nemo. With virtual conferences, I can provide myself with the accommodations that I need for success like a quiet room, non distracting lighting, and stretch breaks to regain focus. I can also watch sitting or standing which can help me.

Number 7 – No Parking Issues – in my garage my car always has a spot! I don’t have to fret over where I’m going to park, if the Valet is going to lose my car (it happened once but that’s a story for another day), or how much parking costs!

Number 6 – Comfy Chair – can we all agree that most conference seats are not meant for bigger people? As a bigger person height and weight wise, I always feel like I’m sitting on the people next to me. I always feel uncomfortable when I feel like I’m up in somebody else’s business. Also, I’ve got back issues, so being at home in my own chair saves me from a post conference chiropractor appointment!

Number 5 – No Idle Chit Chat – I’m what one would call an extroverted introvert. I am good at being social, and I enjoy it in the right doses and settings. However, big events like conferences, open houses, vendor fairs, etc drain my battery. I enjoy them while they are happening, but afterwards I need time to recuperate mentally and emotionally.

Number 4 – Dress Up from the Waist Up – I spent the whole conference in pajama pants! From the waist up I had on a nice shirt, cardigan, jewelry, and makeup done. However, I had on comfy pants! Also, I didn’t have to wear shoes! Wearing shoes all day is for the birds!

Number 3 – Best Concession Stand Ever – Imagine a concession stand with no waiting where water doesn’t cost $4 a bottle and only favorite foods are served! That’s right, the best concession stand is my own kitchen! This concession stand served Caesar salad, pomegranates, Diet Coke, and water! Glad it was all free because I drank 4 bottles of water!!! Best part? I didn’t have to worry about things I won’t eat or am allergic to! My concession stand rocks!

Number 2 – No Line at the Ladies Room – Any time I had to go to the bathroom, there was no line! I could just walk right in my own bathroom and go! Bonus? No questionable droplets on the toilet seat and no cringing because people for some reason forget how to flush in public!

Number 1 – Time With Family – When I attend virtual conferences I get to see my husband and toddler IMMEDIATELY when it is over. There’s no travel time where I’m super antsy and irritable because I miss them so much. All I have to do is leave my office! Approximately 10 steps from my office to my hugs!

What are your top Virtual Victory for Virtual Conferences?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Top Tips for 2022

Since just before the new year began, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. I’ve been attempting in my spare moments to work on my vision journal, and I’ve realized that it’s meant to be a work in progress not a project completed in one sitting. That said, I’ve also come up with some other tips for 2022 that you might find helpful:

1. Minimize – clean out the clutter you don’t need or that no longer brings you joy. Trash it, put it in a yard sale, or donate it to a worthy charity thrift store. What you think of as junk might be a blessing to someone else.

2. Unplug – Find things to do that don’t require technology. Craft, create, read a book, exercise, get outside…do something besides stare at a screen. I’m preaching to myself on this one!

3. Take Baths – I’m not saying take a bath or shower for hygiene. Well, yes do that, but occasionally fill the bath, light a candle, add Epsom salts or bubble bath, and enjoy the water. It’s relaxing!

4. Renew Your Faith – if you’re a person of faith be it Pagan, Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, Hindu, or another faith take time to submerse yourself in your teachings. Take time to remind yourself of your basic philosophies and renew your soul. The soul yearns for growth and renewal to stay strong!

5. Physical Wellness – get a physical, visit the eye doctor, go to the dentist, see a chiropractor, etc. You have one body that could last you for over 100 years so take care of it!

6. Quality Time – Spend quality time with those you love the most. Do so in a pandemic safe manner of course! When you’re spending quality time, make sure you’re present in the moment. This is a big one that I’m working on this year! I miss so much by being absorbed in something irrelevant!

7. Stop Believing the Internet – Say this with me “Just because it’s on the Internet doesn’t make it true.” Make this your mantra. Repeat it frequently, and when you do conduct Internet research check your sources! For example, my background is in the beauty industry, so I hope you would never believe me if suddenly I was trying to dispense brain surgery or aeronautical device!

What’s your tip for 2022?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Real of Reality

Let me say what I know a lot of people are thinking today: I am not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. Negative Nellies will see that statement and think things such as “She’s just lazy and wants to sleep in” or “She’s so selfish! She just had two weeks off”. However, that’s not the case. Just as I know this isn’t the case for all of the people I’ve seen on my social media saying they are depressed about returning to work, have almost cried today over returning, etc. The real of reality is that the core values for work force members are changing abs the values of many employers are not.

For a few decades following the Great Depression, it seems as though the reality of why people worked was solely for a paycheck. They wanted to go to work, make enough money to ensure their family lived adequately, and be able to retire with the pension they knew they would get for x years of service. This reality made employer’s very happy because it meant people working long hours which tends to lead to higher profits.

For members of today’s work force, priorities are changing. Our (I use this in a general sense knowing that it doesn’t apply to every single person) reality is that we want to be valued as people and not just a faceless, nameless human among the masses. We want to feel as though our employers care about our mental and physical health; we want to feel like our priorities that put family above career are important. We are tired of being made to feel guilty for attempting to prioritize our health, the needs of our families, and for wanting people to care more about the well being of others than a profit margin. At the end of the day, many of us are willing to work one, two, or even three jobs for an employer who cares and allows us to live by our priorities as opposed to working for one employer who doesn’t treat us like a person. We’ve realized that happiness and wellness are more important than a paycheck!

For me personally, the real of reality means being away from LilKsby and Mr Kisby, who I’ve spent the last two weeks with except for about five hours, for 9 hours a day. I’ll get to see them for 30 minutes in the morning, then we will have maybe 3 hours before LilKsby goes to bed because he doesn’t nap at daycare. That’s 3 and a half hours with the sweetest most precious boy in the whole world. It’s maybe 5 hours with Mr Kisby, but usually less because of cleaning and prepping for the next day. For someone who believes family is more important than a career, do you see why it’s hard for me to want to return to work even to a job I enjoy? I know I’m not the only mama who feels this way!

So that is the way I see the real of reality. Factor in Covid related anxiety’s with how I’m going to miss my family like crazy, and there you have it. Am I hoping to win the Powerball? Yup. Does that mean I don’t love what I do? Nope. I just love being mama and wife more than employee. Anyone else agree with this real of reality?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

“It Wasn’t Your Fault”

December 23 has been one of my least favorite days for the past 11 years. I don’t know if I’ve blogged about it before, but December 23, 2010 was the day that I tried to save my grandma’s life. I can’t tell you what for sure prompted me to call her at the moment I did, but something urged me to call her. Her words to me when she answered were “Call an ambulance”. Long story short, I called for the ambulance (very difficult phone call to make), they took her to the hospital, and after 27 days her physical body released her soul to fly home to Heaven.

Since this occurred, I’ve dreaded December 23. For years, I’ve carried a guilt associated with this day, and I’ve tried to just wait it out as quietly as possible each year. This is also difficult because sometimes I can be an emotional roller coaster. Last night, I was talking about my dislike of December 23 with my family, and my mom said something that I didn’t know I needed to hear. She told me four simple words: “It wasn’t your fault.”

Hearing those four simple words was like a light switch going off in my brain. Those words started to release me from a decade of guilt, and they reminded me that I was just trying to help. I didn’t kill my grandmother by calling an ambulance; I tried to help her by calling an ambulance!

Even with this feeling of release, parts of today were hard. However, I feel like I didn’t dread the day as much. I could see the sunshine through the clouds so to speak, and I could feel the start of healing. I’m going to remember my moms words – “It wasn’t your fault” – and I’m going to keep in healing!

I pray and hope that if there is something that wasn’t your fault that you’ve been harboring guilt over, you are able to start finding peace too.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Thanksgiving Night Thinking

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

The day’s festivities have come to a close, and I find myself in that weird post holiday celebration mode of “What am I supposed to be doing?” You don’t want to just go to bed because it is still super early, but at the same time you don’t want to do anything mentally taxing because it has been a relaxing day. Anyone else in this mode?

Before the pandemic, I would have been trying to go to bed by 10, so that getting up at 4 to go shopping still meant getting 6 hours of asleep! I never would be in bed that early because I’d be too busy picking out the best deals and strategizing what to get. This year even though we occasionally take LilKsby out to non-crowded places, we’re still not taking him out like pre-pandemic because toddlers can’t get vaccinated, and he only keeps his mask on for like three minutes. That said, it really surprised me how much I miss this part of Thanksgiving night! I’ve been lamenting it so much that this evening that Mr Kisby even asked me if I want to go shopping tomorrow. I told him no because I don’t really want to go in stores; I just like the idea of it.

Truth be told, I hadn’t even thought about actually going shopping until this week. The catalyst for change? I went to a funeral visitation for one of my professional mentors. They weren’t very old, and they were a big reason I am where I am today professionally. Their passing has been a reminder of just how precious life is, and how important it is to spend your time doing the things you enjoy with those you love. Even though what you enjoy may seem trivial to others, take time to do it!

I know that I am not the only person coping with loss this week. My hope is that as all of those who are healing from loss find comfort and know that while their hearts will always ache, it will become easier. (I know first hand that holidays after loss can be hard, but they do get easier with time.) I hope that everyone will find a way to do something that brings them joy if not today or tomorrow then one day soon. If this means going shopping, then I hope you shop! If this means singing in the shower so loudly that your throat hurts, I hope you sing your heart out! If this means walking alone in the woods to clear your mind, I hope you walk!

I know that this is some deep thinking for a day usually spent pondering family, food, naps, and TV, but sometimes we just have to get our thoughts out! What things are you thinking about on Thanksgiving night?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

More Than Food

Thanksgiving is only two days from today, and I want to make a bold and probably unpopular statement: Thanksgiving is about more than food.

People who know me will probably be quick to think my statement is because I don’t like Thanksgiving food. Admittedly, I’m not a fan of whole turkeys; I don’t like real mashed potatoes; stuffing that has been inside the bird disgusts me; I find pumpkin pie to have too much pumpkin flavor. Oh, and I’m allergic to sweet potatoes. Additionally, as not the biggest fan of cooking, I struggle with the concept of a meal that takes days to cook and minutes to eat. However, this is not why I believe Thanksgiving is more than food.

In my years – 38 of them – I remember a lot of Thanksgivings. I vaguely remember sitting around tables, but I can’t tell you what all was part of the spread. Do you know what I remember about the table portion? Being allowed sips of wine from Grandma’s special goblets as a teenager. That’s about it.

For me, Thanksgiving was always about doing things with my family. Some years this meant Thanksgiving was about lottery tickets. After eating, we would sit in my grandma’s living room and play scratch offs (we liked scratch offs the way some people like watching football). We would start with like $30 worth. Once they were scratched, we’d walk over to the gas station and buy more with the winnings plus a little extra if needed to get the number of tickets divisible by six (the number of people in the family). We’d continue the cycle until there were either no winnings left or the winnings were so big that the winner didn’t want to share.

If we traveled to see my mom’s family, there weren’t lottery tickets. There also wasn’t wine for that matter. However, there was playing with cousins during a time that wasn’t summer and listening to my grandpa sing Christmas carols as my aunt played piano. There was also the time my uncle’s neighbor accidentally ran over himself while fixing his car. I missed the action because I was in the bathroom, but I’m pleased to report the guy was okay!

Traditionally in our house Thanksgiving has also been about planning our Black Friday shopping. Black Friday is the only day of the year I enjoy shopping because I like deals and the competitive treasure hunt aspect of Black Friday shopping. Back in the days before Covid, we’d spend hours looking at the ads and making a game plan. I was great at organizing who had the best sales at what times and creating a shopping agenda. I’m also phenomenal at the online follow up for things we couldn’t find in the stores! Covid has obviously changed our Black Friday shopping, but there’s always online!!!

For me, Thanksgiving is about more than food. For me, Thanksgiving is about time with family and enjoying that time together. Time is more precious than turkey ever will be! No matter the opinions of others on the matter, my mind is made up.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Unplug to Recharge

I’m by far not a Transcendentalist. I tend to function better when I have a set routine, and even though I have a unique sense of style there is nothing groundbreaking about how I dress. I’m also too concerned with covering the amount of gray in my hair to say that I march to the beat of my own drummer. Even the unpopular things I’ve been involved with throughout my life such as theatre, medieval reenactment, playing video games, playing tabletop games, and writing have somehow become mainstream. However, there is one part of transcendentalism that I totally get: nature.

For me nature is where I go to unplug and recharge. (Unplug is kind of a loose term, but I’ll explain that in a minute.) There is something about being out in nature whether it is hiking, swimming, or sitting in a cabin looking out at the trees that helps me to feel peaceful and relaxed. This weekend was spent sitting in a cabin in the woods surrounded by family, and I can say that I haven’t felt this relaxed going into a work week since last May when a weekend was spent in a cabin in the woods! It was wonderful to unplug from all of the responsibilities of home! I don’t know about everyone else, but I struggle to truly relax at home. Even when I’m reading, writing, sewing, etc there is always that voice in the back of my head saying “You should be doing x, y, and z!” With that mantra in my head, it’s impossible to be totally serene at home. However, in a cabin, I can unplug that little voice and relax!

Relax and unplug for me is probably different than a lot of people. I still played on my phone while unplugging, and I still used my laptop. The difference is that instead of working, I used my devices to research things I would like for Christmas, order Christmas pajamas, and look at gifts for LilKsby. Not a bit of work was done! I also finished one book, read another book, and started a third one (all Stephanie Plum novels)! My only to do tasks all weekend were eat, hangout with family, and sleep! It was also relaxing to be able to go on a trip without having to go on the interstate. Back roads are way more relaxing! The best part of the weekend? The relaxation has continued even at home tonight. I’m not even stressed about going to work tomorrow!

I’m so thankful that I was able to spend the weekend in nature, unplug from everyday life, and recharge! Are you recharged for the week?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby