mrkisby – Page 3 – The Great Kaysby

2023 – Happy New Year to You & Me!

Happy New Year and welcome to 2023! We’re two days into this new year, and if you’re like me you’ve spent some time reflecting. As the minutes ticked down to midnight, I found myself writing down my highlights of 2022. There were quite a few (more than the previous two years), and to list them all here would take a while. However, some of the biggest were all of the family travels, holidays because LilKsby finally understood them, and our household career switch. When the clock struck midnight and 2023 began, I kissed Mr Kisby, and we both started thinking about what we want to 2023 to look like. One of my goals? Blogging more! I’m shooting for once per week, and to help I’m not going to limit my topic choice. I’m going to write whatever is on my mind which is also therapeutic. Today’s topic? New Year’s Superstitions!

I’ve never been someone to believe in superstitions. I’ve never been afraid of Friday the 13th; I’ve always loved having black cats and think they are adorable; I walked under a ladder when I was like 7 in a Waldenbooks store, and I don’t think I had bad luck until I was 14. However, I’ve always found New Year’s superstitions intriguing because my grandma always insisted on having black eye peas and cabbage for lunch on New Year’s Day. She said it brought luck in the new year, and I thought it smelled funny. This year I wanted to honor my grandma (she’s been gone 12 years this month) and have the “luck” foods. So I started looking up New Year’s superstitions out of curiosity. You can see the full article that I read here, but if you want the funny version of them, continue reading!

The Midnight Kiss – This is one that I had heard of for a long time. The idea is whoever you kiss at midnight will love you for the rest of the year. This one is nice in thought, but if you’re like me, then you kissed your spouse which means (hopefully) that you want them to love you for a lot more than a year! I plan to kiss my husband at midnight for at least the next 50 years!

Eat 12 Grapes At Midnight – The thought is that you eat one grape for each month, then you will get luck for all 12 months of the year. If you eat 11, I guess you get good luck for 11 months. If you eat 13, then I guess you need to work on counting or maybe you should’ve had a snack before midnight so that you didn’t feel the need to eat that extra grape! Also, when is it safe to eat the rest of the bag of grapes???

Those New Year’s Day Foods – This is the one I knew about, but I didn’t know until this year how much the “lucky” foods vary depending on where you look. So we covered as many bases as possible by having broccoli slaw (it had the cabbage), black eyed peas, pork, and spinach (it is green, therefore, to me it counts as having greens). I forgot about the corn bread, but we had some dinner rolls that were best by 1/1/23 and didn’t get sick, so I call that lucky! I also believe that you can count egg rolls for the cabbage and bacon or sausage for the pork. That’s my philosophy!

Don’t Leave the House Until Someone Visits You First – We did this one, but we also didn’t leave the house today either. This one struck me as the funniest because I’m pretty sure it was just a way to get people to stay home on January 1. If you think about it, if ever single person waited for someone to visit them first, then no one would be able to leave the house. We’d all be waiting! Then I thought if you live in a neighborhood, maybe you draw names to find out who has to be the unlucky one for the year. Then you send that person to everyone’s homes in the morning so that they can leave and still have luck. Still thinking this one was just meant to keep people at home. Also, what if you were out celebrating New Year’s Eve and weren’t even home? Does the stay at home take effect once you are inside your own house, or do you count as your own first visitor?

Full Cupboards – We also achieved this one, but only by accident. We went to the grocery on New Year’s Eve because I needed the New Year’s “lucky” food, and I picked up some other things while in the store. Allegedly, having a full cabinet on New Year’s Eve/Day ensures you will have full cabinets all year. I just call it smart because it’s winter and you never know when the weather is going to bad, or you never know when you are going to end up stuck at home because of illness, a broken vehicle, etc. Along the same note, you’re also supposed to start the year with a wallet full of cash to ensure wealth during the year. If I start the year with a wallet full of lottery tickets, does that mean I’m going to win the jackpot? I think that’s a great question!

For more of the superstitions and the reasoning behind them (beyond my semi-sarcastic reasoning) checkout the article I linked. Bonus, if you check it out now, then you have 364 days to get ready ready for next year! Happy 2023!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Change for Christmas

Winter Storm Elliott has brought many of us an unexpected gift for Christmas: change. When the forecast was made, many of us never dreamed that it would impact our Christmas plans. Even yesterday after the 53 degree temperature drop, the icy snow mix covering the ground, and spending the majority of the day at a wind chill of -17, I kept thinking there would be some Christmas magic that allowed our planned Christmas events to occur. Alas, I was wrong. The roads are still a mess, the temperature is 15 degrees with a wind chill of 0, and I don’t even know if salt works in this extreme. The result? Change for Christmas.

Let me preface this by saying that six out of ten times change is hard for me. That said, even though I know it is better to be safe at home, I got a little in my feels cooking breakfast this morning. Had things gone to plan, we would have already been having family gift time and been eating Chinese for lunch. Instead, I had already cleaned vomit (cats will eat anything even if it won’t stay down), started a crockpot of soup, and began a load of laundry. However, along the same line, if things had gone to plan, then I wouldn’t have been able to let LilKsby spend an hour laying in bed and “reading” his Christmas books to me. This was absolutely precious and priceless! Other things have also occurred this morning that made me glad to be home instead of out and about. So even though it wasn’t what we had planned, change for Christmas hasn’t necessarily been a bad gift for 2022.

As I was writing the previous paragraph, I started having memories of other times we’ve had change for Christmas. There have been a couple of times that my mom has missed out on Christmas festivities due to illness; there were Christmases (yes, plural) spent in the hospital with my grandparents. There was even one Christmas where my dad had to work because his job was essential. Thinking back on these changes, I realize that my real problem with change for Christmas is that I don’t like things that are out of my control or that I cant help fix. When my mom was sick, I could take care of her. When my grandparents were in the hospital, I could visit them. When my dad had to work, I knew that we could have things ready for him when he got home. However, in this case I can’t control the weather or how fast things are cleared. As much as it can be hard for me, I just have to wait.

So while we wait for improvements, I feel like this is a great time to slow down (the holidays can be a lot of rushing) and be thankful. Even with change for Christmas, I have A LOT to be thankful for this holiday. The first one of those is a loving like minded family also wanting to put safety first! It’s also a great time to just enjoy the moments now instead of pondering on what was supposed to happen. If you’re struggling with this gift of change for Christmas, then I invite you to also reflect on what’s going right today and for the things you have to be thankful about.

Merry Christmas Eve!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Three Is a Magic Age

There is a song from School House rock called “Three Is a Magic Number,” and one of the main lyrics is this: “A man and a woman had a little baby, yes, they did. They had three in the family, and that’s a magic number.” This lyric has stuck with me since I first heard the song last spring. At the time it stuck in my head because of our little family of three: me, Mr Kisby, and LilKsby. Now the song keeps popping in my head because three has been such a magic age so far for LilKsby!

The first reason it has been magic is the increase in communication. LilKsby wasn’t much of a talker before turning three. However, he must have been quietly listening and observing because he went from just a few words to using complete sentences with A LOT of words and singing seemingly over night! Now he can repeat anything – and I mean anything – after hearing it once! For a while I was concerned, but it turned out that three was his magic number for speech!

Another reason three has a been a magic age? The amount that LilKsby loves learning! We have opted for home school for preschool, and since starting two months ago, he has learned so much! He’s working on obvious things like numbers and letters, and he enjoys them. He also loves math, science, music, yoga, shape art, painting, learning the states, and working with the calendar. His thirst for knowledge is absolutely magical!

Something else that is absolutely magical is how much LilKsby understands holidays now that he is three. Since around August, he’s been working on his list for Santa! (In case you wondered, he wants noodles, an orange pencil, and a blue notebook.) He’s super excited for Christmas for the first time ever. Mr Kisby and I love this given it is our favorite holiday! LilKsby has also been super psyched for Halloween. For the first time he picked his own costumes, and he has been elated to wear them trick or treating. So far we’ve attended five different ones, and he’s not showing any signs of slowing down! Bonus, he’s loving trying new to him candy! It’s been so magical to watch him understand holidays for the first time!

He’s not even three and a half yet, but so far three has been magic! I can’t wait to see what the rest of this age brings! What’s been your favorite age?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Five Thoughts

Today is one of those days where I know I want to write, but I’m struggling to come up with one topic on which to focus. So, I’m just going to share a few thoughts with you.

1. Three-nagers! Anyone else currently have a three-nager? It is a very interesting phase! On one hand there is still the adorable toddler-ness where they want to help and spend all day with you. They don’t want to miss out on anything. However, they also frequently yell “I do it! I do it myself!” I’m pretty sure negotiation situations would be over a lot quicker if three-nagers were sent in for talks!

2. Fire! Fire is a fascinating element. Lots of good times happen around campfires. Songs are sang; stories are told; drinks are had. On the other hand, the mass amount of destruction that can happen from fire in a very short time is horrific. Thinking about Gatlinburg today! https://www.wbir.com/article/news/local/gatlinburg-fire-department-responds-to-fire-at-shopping-center-on-the-parkway/51-c173e086-afa7-44aa-967e-8dd953ece898

3. Headlines are intriguing! Today, I saw this headline in my newsfeed: “Increased risk for all-cause dementia in people who abstain from alcohol”. I didn’t read the article, but my first thought was “Whew! I’m safe!” Thank you to my 20s and the current occasional glass of wine! Article can be read here: https://www.news-medical.net/amp/news/20220930/Increased-risk-for-all-cause-dementia-in-people-who-abstain-from-alcohol.aspx

4. Never go in a grocery store hungry! We went to the grocery today for one thing, and we came out $114 and a bunch of things later. At least we did get the one thing, and I now have breakfast and toilet paper for the next two weeks.

5. Fall is beautiful! Leaves are changing, sweatshirts are out, and there is a chill in the air. It doesn’t get much better than this weather wise. Unless there is snow up to my knees. I do like massive amounts of snow!

What are you thinking about today?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

100,000 Miles

You know those moments where you can always remember where you were and how you felt? Last week, we experienced one of those moments! I would tell you where I was, but some info has to stay classified; however, I will tell you that I was so excited, I couldn’t stop laughing and shrieking with glee! What was so exciting? Princess Zippy crossed 100,000 miles! Princess Zippy is the third car I’ve ever owned, and she’s the second one that I remember excitedly waiting for 100,000 miles! I’m not sure why I feel like this is such a major event. Perhaps because of all of the joy that she’s brought into our lives!

Princess Zippy came into our lives at a time when we were desperate for a new (to us) car. Old Blue had become to expensive to repair, and we needed a car that could take us on a business trip in five days. Luckily, I had started looking and test driving the last time Old Blue gave us fits. Plus, I had a dream of owning a Kia since they first became popular (you know, back when if you looked at them wrong they would dent). We were very lucky to find a Kia with extremely low mileage (she’d been a dealer car) under our budget! So the memories began quickly!

Since we got Princess Zippy, she’s traveled the country! She’s taken us to Dallas, Myrtle Beach, the Poconos, St Louis, Nashville, Gatlinburg, and more! During these road-trips, some of the best conversations have been had! For as long as I can remember, one of mine and Mr Kisby’s favorite things has been the philosophical and passionate discussions on car trips! These trips have also involved more laughter than the law should allow! Some of the best laughs have been had during those slap happy late night hours! These conversations have also seen goals set, affirmations made, and business tips exchanged! Oh, and the music! The music of road-trips has been so much fun! There’s nothing like flying down the interstate jamming out at the top of your lungs! Bonus, Princess Zippy even survived two break in attempts while in overnight parking (in a place not mentioned above). The score? Princess Zippy not getting opened up two and potential robbers zero! I cannot wait to see where else she travels!

Beyond trips, Princess Zippy is part of the greatest event of our lives: she brought LilKsby home from the hospital! Boy, talk about a terrifying drive! Never ever has 35 MPH felt so fast and dangerous. Princess Zippy has safely gotten us from the infant seat stage to the rear facing convertible seat phase to the current forward facing convertible seat saga, or as unlike to call it, “The now I can throw things at you while you drive” saga. Side note: never let anyone tell you a car seat can’t be put in the middle of the backseat of a Kia. It can too! Princess Zippy’s been a school on the road, helped LilKsby learn locations (by the way it would be GREAT if every McDonalds couldn’t be seen from like two miles away), and been a major part of his ever developing since of direction. He’s only three, but he can tell you if you’re taking the wrong (not normal) way somewhere, and he’s also mastered traffic lights, stop signs, and which roads we use the most! I love our family time in Princess Zippy!

In addition to family fun, Princess Zippy has been my main business transportation. She taught us the value of hatchbacks when I was at an outdoor vendor event, and it started raining. We literally threw everything in the hatchback and sat watching the street turn into a creek! She’s my advertisement on wheels, and she’s become a conversation piece when I meet mom’s at toddler/preschool events. How cool is that?

I realize it may be weird to be so excited about a car, but Princess Zippy has been with us through a lot. I can’t wait to see where the next 100,000 miles takes us!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

10, 7, 5 Principle!

This evening I was listening to a recent conference from my direct selling business, and there was a concept that really stuck out to me. In 2017, Pamela Waldrop Shaw discussed three things that drive change. Her three things were as follows: 10 – Significant Events, 7 Critical Decisions, and 5 Influential People. When I heard this, I immediately thought about the recent change in my life to Work From Home Mama and how the 10, 7, 5 Principle applied to that change. Here is my reflection so that you can see the Principle in application!

10 Significant Events

First Pregnancy & Miscarriage – 2018
Princess Court of Sales Achievement – 2018
Second Pregnancy – 2018 and 2019
Birth of LilKsby – 2019
Mr Kisby Layoff – 2019
Covid Pandemic – 2020-Present
Pandemic Teaching – 2020-2022
Mr Kisby Graduates – 2021
Mr Kisby New Job – 2022
Social Issues and Injustices – Ongoing

7 Critical Decisions

Mr Kisby deciding to go to school instead of finding “just another job”.
Keeping LilKsby at home during the 2020-21 school year. This made me realize how much I longed to be at home with him.
Realizing that I don’t like being made to feel expendable. Also the existential dread associated with starting the last two school years during Covid peaks was mentally overwhelming to me.
Deciding that homeschool feels like the best option for us as we want our child to grow up with an education that reflects our values. This means more than just intertwining faith and academics. It means teaching equality, respect, fairness, and how to be an ally!!!
Determining that an abundance of money is not as important as living a fulfilled life by our priorities. Yes, I know things cost money. Yes, I know you have to have enough money. Yes, we like to play the lottery. However, money is not the most important thing to us.
Realizing that it is more important to live by our priorities than the priorities others give us.
Making the choice to leave teaching after 11 years.

5 Influential People

The Holy Trinity – I prayed a lot over the decision to make the change from teaching to work from home mama. Ultimately I was able to follow what was put on my heart, and even though my brain wants to panic sometimes, I’m doing my best to follow FAITH over Fear! When change is imminent, I highly recommend praying to your Deity. Not religious? Then I recommend lots of self reflection!
Mr Kisby – My husband, my partner in life, my biggest cheerleader!
LilKsby – My Sweet Boy and the one who learns more from watching us than anything else.
Homeschool Friends – I see the magnificent wonders they have worked in their children’s lives, and that is what I want for LilKsby.
Entrepreneur Friends – Seeing them live their truths by their priorities is impacting!

So there you have the 10, 7, 5 principle! My 10, 7, 5 spanned a four year time period. For others their time period might be longer, and for some it might be shorter. Also, a lot more than 5 people influenced me, but that gives you the concept. As I’m embarking on this change, I think it is good to reflect. It keeps the perspective fresh and the path set right.

What change are you contemplating?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

I’m Playing in the Rain

In the song “I Am” from Kid Rock’s self titled album there is a lyric that asks “Have you seen the Nothern falls, ot the Midwest seasons changing? A Montana storm, or a warm Kentucky rain?” While I’ve never seen the Northern falls or a Montana storm, I can attest to the beauty and calm of a warm Kentucky rain. One of my favorite things to do in summer is be outside when it is raining. There’s something naturally refreshing about having rain pour down your skin on a hot day. I can’t put it in words, but it is a feeling that I hope everyone can experience at least once a summer.

Today, we got to experience our warm Kentucky rain for the summer. It hasn’t really rained where we live in almost four weeks, so when I saw the rain clouds today, I figured they would be like all of the others and pass us by. Thus without thinking about the weather, LilKsby and I started on a parking lot walk while Mr Kisby had to run an errand. As we’re walking, it began sprinkling. In my mind this was all it was going to do, so we kept walking. To our surprise a warm rain shower began! It was over quickly, but it had enough water to make some puddles. So we took advantage of the occasion and went “puddle hunting” as LilKsby loves a good rain puddle! As we were “hunting” a deluge came! The deluge wasn’t as warm as some rains, but it was so fun! We splashed; we laughed; we got thoroughly soaked. It was peaceful and calm while also being thrilling! The deluge gave us five minutes of fun that will be remembered for a lifetime! It was 100% worth driving home shoeless and being chilly in the AC for a little bit!

If you’ve never played in a warm summer rain, then I suggest putting it on your to do list. There’s nothing like it in the world! If you’ve planned in a warm summer rain, did you enjoy it?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Captain’s Log – Potty Training Day 1

Captain’s Log – 28th of May in the year 2022 – Daily Journey 14 Hours

Today we began the journey of potty training. After one day I’m far from an expert, but I thought other toddler parents might like to know they aren’t alone in the journey. So here are my learnings thus far…

1) Don’t force the potty on them if they aren’t ready. We were guilty of this last summer because we thought as soon as LilKsby turned 2, we needed to push potty training. Well we pushed too much, and he stopped going to the potty all together. He was not ready for the potty, so he quit using a diaper too. It took weeks of doctor calls for advice and lots of pleading to get him to pee regularly again.

2) Wait until they understand what the potty is for. We’ve spent the last few months in preparation by modeling to him how to use the potty. We even verbalize what we’re doing so he would be familiar with the steps. By this I mean saying things like “I’m going pee in the potty. I peed now I get to use toilet paper! I used toilet paper, so now I’m going to flush! Now I get to wash my hands!” This repeated modeling sunk in because today these were the steps he wanted to follow.

3) Don’t let a book make you feel like a bad parent. I read most of a potty training book. At one point it made me feel like a horrible mom because according to the expert, I had failed my child by missing the perfect window of 24-30 months old, and I failed my child because he didn’t have the speech skills of his same aged peers. Side note: the book was written pre-pandemic, and I recently noticed that the CDC has updated their language milestones to levels lower since the pandemic had limited so much socialization and verbal communication without masks. In hindsight I realize that I shouldn’t let a book make me feel like a bad parent, but at the time I wanted to throw the book against the wall.

4) Some tips from books/online articles are helpful. For example, having little potties upstairs and downstairs was helpful. Having him go without a diaper for the first day was also helpful because we could watch more closely for potty signals. It was also beneficial to explain at nap and bed time why we were using a diaper again after making such a big deal over getting rid of it.

5) Potty training takes commitment from the parent(s)/guardian(s). For potty training to be successful you have to be willing and able to commit enough time for them to get the idea of going potty in an environment where they are comfortable and won’t be embarrassed by an accident. To do this, we waited until we had a three day window with no plans which meant for me waiting until school was out. I’m hoping that three days at home solely focused on time together watching for potty signals will give us enough of a window to realize how often we need to go to the potty, how long we can leave the house without the potty, and what trips will require taking the little potty with us. Also, we had to be committed to not getting upset about accidents. We knew they would happen, so instead of getting mad, we addressed what to do different next time. Finally, knowing his love language helped. LilKsby loves words of praise, so you can bet every little tinkle got lots of positive praise!

I’m sure there will be more wisdom learned along the way, and I’m prepared for varying levels of success. Captain’s log signing off…

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

#blessed

Wow! Today marks another trip around the sun, and I am humbled by how #blessed I am! For the last three days, I’ve celebrated turning 39 with Mr Kisby, LilKsby, and other family members. As a bonus, I’ve received several messages wishing me a happy birthday. All of these have been remarkable reminders of how lucky I am to know so many wonderful people who know how to make a gal feel loved!

After two years of pandemic birthdays, feeling loved was the best treat! If the past two years have taught us anything, they’ve taught us how when we’re stressed by unprecedented pandemics, work, not enough time, not enough money, etc, we can forget to show others how much we love them. It’s not an intentional neglect, but more of an accident due to circumstances. I’m guilty, and I’m sure others are guilty too. Luckily, we can always change our ways and find our way back to showing others how much we love them!

As I enter my final year of my 30s, I must say that I’m super excited! This decade has been the best yet for me, and I’m sure that the next decade will be even better! Bonus, I feel like there are a lot of exciting things just on the horizon! For now, I’m going to concentrate on showing others the love that has been shown me!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Faith Over Fear

When I was a little kid, I remember flying a kite with my dad in our field. As we played, the kite string broke, and the kite flew away. I was heartbroken! I threw such a fit that my dad pacified me by taking me on a car ride to find the kite. We never found it, and I was devastated. From that moment, I was CONVINCED that I hated flying kites.

Fast forward 30 (or more) years…

Mr Kisby gets a box from Amazon, and says he has a family surprise. Guess what it was? A kite! Immediately I had flashbacks and thought, “ugh, I hate kites.” However, as parents often do, I put on a happy face so that LilKsby would love the kite. A few days later we went to the park, and we flew the kite. To my surprise, I LOVED flying the kite! Watching it soar in the wind, while I laughed squeals of delight and ran around with LilKsby, was a great time!

That joy got me to thinking, did I really hate kites this whole time? No. What I hated was the memory of losing something. The hate of losing has become a life long trend. As I thought about it, I realized that I have allowed a hate of loss to be the reason I fear doing something. Then I remembered that if we let fear run our lives, we will miss out on a lot of great opportunities. Having faith over fear is a hard lesson to practice, and I think that we have to constantly remind ourselves to use it. As a parent, I frequently tell myself to not show fear of certain things because I don’t want my child to pick up on these fears and miss out. That’s a huge catalyst for me, and why I keep striving to live more fearlessly.

I know that’s a huge lesson to get from a kite, but don’t we find the greatest lessons when we aren’t even looking for them?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Influence of Affluence

Today in one of my classes, we had the students complete a quick write over the hopes and dreams of the lower class versus those of affluence. We gave them two minutes to write, and then we discussed it as a group. I’ve been thinking about this topic ever since this morning, and I feel the need to elaborate on it. The italicized portion is my initial quick write.

The hopes and dreams of the lower class and the affluent may appear the same on a surface level. Everyone wants a roof over their head, plenty of food on the table, enough money to cover their bills, and a better life than the previous generation. However, when digging deeper, the hopes and dreams are very different. For the lower class hopes and dreams may be as simple as a first family member attending and graduating college or joining the military for steady work. On the contrast the more affluent may dream of trips that cost a lower class person’s yearly salary or having more material items.

The more I thought about this topic today; the more I thought about the influence that people of affluence have on the lower classes. I immediately thought of negative or falsified influence. For example, you see the pictures in some magazines and on some websites that taut how celebs are just like us “regular” people. These pictures will be of things like celebrities going to the grocery, working out, or shopping for clothes. On the surface it seems great that “regular” people have something in common with millionaires, but is this accurate? I consider myself a pretty “regular” person, but what a celebrity looks like grocery shopping is totally different than what I look like. First of all, I’m typically shopping for the store brand (aka team Great Value) whereas they are shopping fancy pants brands that I have to Google to know what they are. Likewise, when I work out, it is either at home or outdoors in my spare time. The just like me celebs on the other hand are working out two hours a day with a personal trainer for multiple days a week at their five star gym. Aside from the fact that we’re exercising, we really don’t have anything else in common here. The same could be said for shopping for clothes. I’m happy to shop at Ross and find a bargain while the “just like me” celeb is shopping brands that cost more than my mortgage. Thankfully, I’m happy with my “regular” status, but I feel like some people are negatively influenced by this affluence. Some people tend to rate their personal worth by how they compare with someone of affluence.

Along the same lines, I think it is important to establish that hopes and dreams don’t all involve material things often touted by those of affluence. As an example, I don’t need a new Bentley every year for my birthday. I’m happy to get a new (or even new to me) Kia every ten years. More important to me are dreams like financing LilKsby’s education, taking fun (not necessarily lavish trips) with him and Mr Kisby, and not having to stress about paying bills on time. I don’t need a private jet or an entourage to make myself feel fulfilled in life. Are there big things I’d like to do? Sure. But my life isn’t tragic without them.

All this said, I realize that there are people of affluence that do positive things with their money like donate to charity, finance missions, etc. I’m very thankful for these actions! In fact, I would love to see more about this kind of affluence than so and so’s latest trip to their private island. What do you think about the influence of affluence?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

What This Working Mama Wants ❤️

Growing up it was always emphasized to my generation that women can be anything they want. They can have a career; in fact they can have any career a man can have perhaps with the exception of penis model. They can live on their own and live the single life ala Sex and the City; they can live with roommates; they can cohabitate with a domestic partner. They can even go the more traditional route and pursue marriage and children. At some point, I’ve pretty much covered all these bases with feeling totally fine about the fact that I can’t be a penis model. Although for me the single life was nothing like Sex and the City, partially because I prefer video games to bars.

The most fulfilling of all the things I’ve been? The role of mama! There’s truly nothing like it! As a working mama and wife, I’m not good at doing the traditional “wife jobs”. Partially because I don’t have a lot of time, but also because I’m not big on a lot of domestic things. My restaurant receipts alone will tell you that I’m more Stephanie Plum than Samantha Stephens in the kitchen! Many may think that the shear fact that women like me can have it all is all we want. However, while I enjoy having the possibilities, there are other things I want as a working mama!

The number one thing I want as a working mama? The gift of time with my family. On a typical work day, I leave at 7 am and pick LilKsby up between 4 and 4:30. That’s 9 to 9 1/2 hours without him. When we get home, we have dinner, bath, and he is usually asleep by 7. This means when you factor in the half hour I see him before work, I only see my child for approximately 3 1/2 hours per day five days a week. That’s not the kind of math I like. So, my number one want? More time with family!

I also want to have an irrational emotional/mental meltdown every once in a while as someone listens to me vent. I am very lucky to have Mr Kisby and friends that allow this. If I didn’t, I might go crazy. The feeling split between being a great employee (especially in a field that requires a great deal of compassion and is constantly being put down and under minded by legislation) and being the best mama and spouse possible can be exhausting physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am amazed at the people who do it without ever having a come apart because I’ve got to let it out sometimes!

The last thing I want? This one may sound selfish, but self care isn’t selfish. I need time to just be me. It’s really easy to forget who you are when you’re consumed by being a mama, wife, and worker. It can be easy to lose yourself when you’re busy taking care of other people. That’s why I think it’s important to take time and enjoy things you like doing. This is why I read, write, create, and play video games. It’s important to me to still have time for things that I enjoy; it’s important to have time for the things that make me who I am! I truly believe that when I am my best me, then I can be my best in every other role that I have!

I could get into a lot more universal issues that I want as a working mama, but I feel like those pertain to lots of mamas and not just me. Maybe other mamas have the same wants as me. Maybe I just wanted to write about my thoughts today. Either way, I hope this some inspires you or helps you reflect on what you want.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

“Like a Bat Out of Hell”

2022 knows how to punch us while we’re down, am I right? Omicron is ravaging us, we’re mourning Bob, the weather is causing chaos, and this morning 2022 got us again when we woke up to the news of the death of Meat Loaf. I’m glad the weather had already cancelled school because I wouldn’t have been worth a hill of beans if I’d have had to work. Instead of doing anything productive, I spent the morning listening to Meat Loaf and reminiscing on great memories connected to his music.

Hot Patootie – my first experience with Meat Loaf came when I was 15. Me and some friends closed ourselves in our drama teacher’s office and watched part of The Rocky Horror Picture Show because a couple of us had never seen it. I enjoyed the beginning of the movie so much that I begged my parents to rent the VHS from Video Vault that weekend so I could finish it. For most people, Tim Curry is the scene stealer in the movie, but for me it was Eddie as I was yet to know Meat Loaf’s name. I totally understood why Columbia “very nearly loved him” over Frank.

Paradise By the Dashboard Lights – Following my enjoyment of RHPS, my aunt introduced me to the music of Meat Loaf. The first song she played for me was Paradise. As a teenager I didn’t want to admit to liking “old music”, but there was something about this epic length song (seriously I think Jim invented extended editions) with full on make out and sex noises brilliantly scripted to a baseball announcer that hooked you. The lyrics and emotions were raw, and the instrumental rifts were unprecedented. Needless to say, the next CD I bought for myself was Bat Out of Hell.

Bat Out of Hell – The album was epic! From the time I bought it, we would measure car trips by the number of songs you could listen to during the trip. Driving to school or work? One or two songs depending on traffic. Going to Grandma’s? The album would get us most of the way through Indiana! Me and my parents would crank it up and sing/yell all the words! Later in life this album and the music of Meat Loaf would become one of the first things me and Mr Kisby realized we like in common! You could say that Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth!

Life Is a Lemon – A lot of people don’t know the Meat Loaf songs that came out between Bat Out of Hell and Bat Out of Hell II, but they are some of my favorites. I was particularly shocked to be on a car trip and the buddy riding with me knew the words to Life Is a Lemon. That was so cool! That also became the day we jammed to Meat Loaf while out driving a tornado! Side note, the best way to celebrate out driving a tornado is stopping at White Castle!

I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That) – So many memories of this one! Remember the jukebox at Pizza Hut? Did anyone else have to stick around until this played because they had paid a quarter for it? I also remember this being the first dance song at a friends wedding. We got to watch them for 13 minutes as the twirled around the dance floor all smiling and googly eyed. But my best memory of this song? Four days before LilKsby was born, I was singing Karaoke, and this was my favorite song that I sang that night! Somewhere there’s a video of me with my big preggo belly singing away!

VH1 Storytellers – Now I realize that if you’re under 30, you’re probably thinking what is VH1? It’s where all the good music shows were aside from TRL. The Meat Loaf episode of Storytellers is amazing! I already knew his songs were great, but the stories behind them make them even more phenomenal! I’m not going to spoil the stories, so just check them out on Spotify. Keep in mind the whole episode only had one scripted line: “Welcome to Storytellers.” The rest is just Meat Loaf being real and doing the thing his music did best: tell stories.

I could talk for hours about all of my memories with Meat Loaf songs, but after all of these paragraphs, I imagine you might be getting bored. Also, my phone is almost out of battery. Until my next post, I challenge you to crank up some Meat Loaf, keep rocking, and keep living “like a bat out of hell”!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Real of Reality

Let me say what I know a lot of people are thinking today: I am not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. Negative Nellies will see that statement and think things such as “She’s just lazy and wants to sleep in” or “She’s so selfish! She just had two weeks off”. However, that’s not the case. Just as I know this isn’t the case for all of the people I’ve seen on my social media saying they are depressed about returning to work, have almost cried today over returning, etc. The real of reality is that the core values for work force members are changing abs the values of many employers are not.

For a few decades following the Great Depression, it seems as though the reality of why people worked was solely for a paycheck. They wanted to go to work, make enough money to ensure their family lived adequately, and be able to retire with the pension they knew they would get for x years of service. This reality made employer’s very happy because it meant people working long hours which tends to lead to higher profits.

For members of today’s work force, priorities are changing. Our (I use this in a general sense knowing that it doesn’t apply to every single person) reality is that we want to be valued as people and not just a faceless, nameless human among the masses. We want to feel as though our employers care about our mental and physical health; we want to feel like our priorities that put family above career are important. We are tired of being made to feel guilty for attempting to prioritize our health, the needs of our families, and for wanting people to care more about the well being of others than a profit margin. At the end of the day, many of us are willing to work one, two, or even three jobs for an employer who cares and allows us to live by our priorities as opposed to working for one employer who doesn’t treat us like a person. We’ve realized that happiness and wellness are more important than a paycheck!

For me personally, the real of reality means being away from LilKsby and Mr Kisby, who I’ve spent the last two weeks with except for about five hours, for 9 hours a day. I’ll get to see them for 30 minutes in the morning, then we will have maybe 3 hours before LilKsby goes to bed because he doesn’t nap at daycare. That’s 3 and a half hours with the sweetest most precious boy in the whole world. It’s maybe 5 hours with Mr Kisby, but usually less because of cleaning and prepping for the next day. For someone who believes family is more important than a career, do you see why it’s hard for me to want to return to work even to a job I enjoy? I know I’m not the only mama who feels this way!

So that is the way I see the real of reality. Factor in Covid related anxiety’s with how I’m going to miss my family like crazy, and there you have it. Am I hoping to win the Powerball? Yup. Does that mean I don’t love what I do? Nope. I just love being mama and wife more than employee. Anyone else agree with this real of reality?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Stronger Together

From a young age we are taught the importance of independence. We are taught how important it is to be self reliant and not need the help of others. In a lot of instances this is true. It’s good to be able to take care of your own hygiene needs; it’s good to be able to cook for yourself; it’s good to be able to take care of your own basic daily living needs. However, there are times in our lives when we are stronger together and having people work together accomplishes more than an individual can achieve. The Tornadoes of December 10 and 11 are a great example of people being stronger together!

December 10 started out as an ordinary day for me. I was going to work, and that night I planned to have LilKsby watch Santa come by on the fire truck that night. During my second block class, students started asking me if I thought there would be tornadoes that night. I’m not big on paying attention tothe weather – that is more of Mr Kisby’s department – so I said “oh I don’t know”. As the day went on, I realized the threat of storms was very really. When the fire department preventively cancels Santa, you know the weather is going to be bad! The threat quickly became reality as around 10:15 the first tornado warning – yes first – was issued for our area. While taking cover in our basement, I first noticed how important being stronger together in a disaster is. I can’t count how many people were posting about the warnings on social media to make sure everyone was informed. I also can’t tell you how many messages I saw asking if people were accounted for or people saying they were safe. Even once the first warning expired, people were checking in one another making sure everyone had what they needed and offering help as they could.

Two hours later, the second warning was issued. I was sure that this time we would be hit. By pure luck and helpful geography, we were spared. However many were not so lucky. It turned out that during 24 hours and 11 minutes on December 10 and 11, there were 61 tornadoes from the storm system including the Quad State Tornado and the Tornado Family that damaged much of Western Kentucky. The destruction that was seen by the late of day on December 11 was incomprehensible even with pictorial evidence. The light of day was devastating to say the least. However, the devastation once again proved that people are stronger together.

How did a tornado outbreak prove people were stronger together? Simple, people have come together by the multitude to help. Organizations have spear headed donation drives and taken semi truck loads of needed items like diapers, baby wipes, water, personal hygiene items, etc to the impacted areas. Small business owners of food trucks have driven hours to go Western Kentucky just to give free meals to those in need. I’ve heard of people donating blood; I’ve heard of people taking their excavators to help go through the rumble. I’ve seen personal vehicles lined up to take donations to drop off points. I’ve seen people open their homes to serve meals. Dollar donations have also been amazing! The support of people uniting to help is proof that even though we are taught to be independent that we are stronger together!

As time goes forward and areas begin to heal from the devastation, I hope that the importance of stronger together will remain. I hope that we will continue to be stronger together in everyday life and not just during tragedies.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby