writing – The Great Kaysby

Five Things I’m Good At…

This is a great daily prompt! I am always fascinated by the responses to questions like these because they can go a variety of ways. The easiest way to answer is always with skills for which you have received recognition. It is also easy to answer with something related to hobbies you enjoy or a hidden talent that you may possess. I mean wouldn’t we all agree that we are amazing singers in the shower and put on the best concerts while in there? The more difficult way to answer this question is with intrinsic things that others may not know about yourself. Perhaps you would also come up with a list that includes extrinsic and intrinsic things. For me, I feel like it is a combination of both!

One thing that I am great at is worrying and letting the things I worry about distract me. In fact, sometimes I think I get some kind of odd pleasure out of having something to worry about. Part of this is a predisposition to worrying. I 100% believe that things like worry and anxiety have a genetic component. Which is why – though it can come across as toxic to some – I try to always find a positive lining to things. It’s for my own good. Sometimes I worry about things so much that after they have come to pass, I find myself simply exhausted. This is the case today. We started the day with having to take a cat to the pet (our cats are family), and I was afraid something was going to be wrong. Why? Probably because I’m still grieving the cat we lost this past summer especially on days when LilKsby brings her up a lot (which he did this morning), but also because the cat didn’t have the best checkup last year. Praise God (yes, I pray over my cats), the cat got a perfect checkup this year! What a relief!

Another thing I am good at is finding joy in the little things. I believe this is truly an amazing skill to have! For example, I am finding joy right now in writing this blog. I also find joy in watching it snow, cuddling up in my chair in front of the twinkling Christmas tree lights, and wandering through art galleries. I think that one of the biggest things that can make a difference in our lives is finding joy in little things.

Guess what else I’m good at? Being creative! I love writing, scrapbooking, painting, sewing, finding ‘reuses’ for items, and singing. I also love to dance even though I have the rhythm of a bucket! There’s something magical about taking something and molding it into something new.

I am good at being social. It can be exhausting because I am an extroverted introvert, but I can do the whole “peopling” thing. It actually recharges my battery to “people” the majority of the time. I love listening to the stories people have to tell and seeing all the wonderful connections that we have. When you get out there and get to “peopling” you learn just what a small world it is!

Finally, I’m good at word puzzles. I absolutely love word puzzles! I love learning the definitions of different words, I love learning the origins of words, and I love utilizing the words that I use from crosswords. It’s fun to be like, “That’s not light brown; that’s ecru.” I also love number puzzles like Sudoku! Puzzles are fun past time, and I like to think they are good for the brain!

What are five things you’re good at?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

With Infinite Time, I Could…

Daily writing prompt

What could you do more of?

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Everyone has the same number of minutes in a day: 1,440. The way those minutes are spent varies from person to person, but one thing always seems to remain constant. There never seems to be enough time in the day for everything that a person wants to do. However, with infinite time, I could think of a few things I would do more!

Paint – I love painting, but when I sit down to do it, I want at least two solid hours of painting time.
Scrapbooking – I love looking at pictures and making precious pages of our best memories. I also enjoy scrapbook competitions!
Writing – Really working on doing this more. I really want to finish my second non-fiction book soon, and the topic seems very pertinent.
Video Games – Since I was five, I have loved playing video games. I will 100% own up to the being that adult who loves to game.
Puzzles – I love compelting puzzles! Once I start one, I become hooked on completing it. We have stayed up until 3 in the morning completing puzzles before!
Traveling – I love to travel! If time (and money) were infinite, this is where I would be.
Sewing – I love to sew, but again I need bigger time blocks to do it!
Exercise – I would love to spend more time walking, doing yoga, and swimming!
Working – I work what most would consider “side hustles” and more time (and energy) would be great for these!
Studying – I love learning! With more time, I would take a lot more free courses online or watch more instructional videos.
Improve my piano skills and learn guitar!

It’s hard to work all of these into your schedule when you also homeschool and enjoy being involved in community activities! Maybe I should give up sleep, LOL!

What would you like to do more?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Can You Really Have Just One?

Daily writing prompt

What’s your all-time favorite album?

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I applaud all of the responses I have read where people can pick one favorite album of all time! My immediate thought with this question was, “I can’t pick just one!” There are so many albums that have been influential at different times in my life, and I still listen to the majority of them when the mood strikes. Of course that is the thing that I love the most about music: how it impacts us differently at various points in life and always seems to come into our lives when we need it the most. So instead of choosing one album, I’m opting to reflect on a few that have been an intregal part of my life.

Millennium – Backstreet Boys – 1999 – I cannot tell you how many times I have listened to this album in the last 26 years. To say that I was (am) a BSB fan would be an understatement. There was something about this album in particular that was magical. “The Perfect Fan” was the sweetest homage to moms, and I loved that my mom got to hear it in person at their concert that year right around her birthday. “Spanish Eyes” was beautiful, but it became more important when my future husband was singing it in my car one day. Yes, I was VERY impressed by Mr. Kisby’s ability to sing unreleased BSB songs!!! “Don’t Want You Back” was the anthem for so many relationships over the years, and “Larger Than Life” made us all think we had a chance at “making it” with a member of the band. HA HA Most of us were wrong! Sadly, I did not shell out the $1,000+ it would have cost to see them at The Sphere. Feeding the family comes before flying to Vegas! I’m sure that would have been an incredible experience! If only one of them wanted to give me tickets and backstage passess…I could totally become an official BSB blogger! HINT HINT
William Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet Soundtrack – 1996 – When I say I have seen this movie at least 16 times, I am not at all exagerating. It was a brilliant retelling of the story in a modern setting with a soundtrack that exemplified what mid-90s music was all about! There were alt rock numbers, adult contemporary numbers, a Prince song in a gospel style, and of course Des’ree’s OUTSTANDING “Kissing You”! I listened to that CD until it was scratched beyond being able to play everything. I could tell you exactly where songs were used in the movie, and when I listened to it, I felt the passion and emotions portrayed by the characters. How tear jerking was that ending? Baz Luhrmann is such a genius at making you think characters have hope before yanking it all out from under you!
Bat Out of Hell – Meat Loaf – 1977 – I was not born when this album was released, but in my teenage years this album became synonymous with family roadtrips. The lyrics were beatiful and the music was banging! As I grew up, the songs became more and more relatable. Like, how hauntingly accurate is “Two Out of Three Aint’ Bad” with “I want you, I need you, but there ain’t no way I’m every going to love you”? Also, “Paradise By the Dashboard” lights was iconic! Nothing left to the imagination there as they went for the line drive up the middle! The titular song was also amazing! Those riffs!
Reputation – Taylor Swift – 2017 – I loved how this album transistioned Taylor from young adult country/pop to relatable themes that so many of us experience as adults. I for one love the lyric “the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now because she’s dead.” I feel like a lot of people were shocked by this lyrical choice, but I think it is a highly accurate portrayal of growing older. Frankly, I am very glad to not be the me that I was when I was 18 or in my early 20s. Personal growth like that mentioned in the song is how I’ve become the person I love today! This was also the first Taylor Swift album that I could listen to on repeat, and it was the last concert we saw before finding out that LilKsby was going to be joining our family!
The Greatest Hits Volume 1: 20 Good Vibrations – The Beach Boys – 1995 – I have also listened to this album over and over again! My love of the Beach Boys began when I was about five, and I would listen to my dad’s cassettes. I knew the lyrics to songs like Surfin’ USA before I could read! By the time I was a teenager, I loved this album even more because of the poinancy of many of the lyrics as well as the unmatchable musical genius of Brian Wilson (may he RIP). Brian could bring things to life musically that most of us could never dream of creating! That album introduced me to “Sloop John B” and “God Only Knows” both of which have become two of my favorite Beach Boys songs. Plus, “Kokomo” featuring John Stamos and that video with the pink tank top. Drummers who can sing are hot, mmmkay? I really wish I could have seen Dennis Wilson perform while he was alive. Added bonus, the songs from this album are also what got LilKsby hooked on the Beach Boys too! Timeless!
Honorable Mentions – these are albums that I may not listen to as much, but they have definitely had a lasting impact on my life either because of the moving scores or life event significance: Beetlejuice Soundtrack, Titanic Soundtrack, Clueless Soundtrack, Hamilton Soundtrack (seriously, right after you’ve had a child, “Dear Theodosia” will make you cry your eyes out), Rocky Horror Picture Show Soundtrack, Josie and the Pussycats Soundtrack, American Wedding Soundtrack, Backstreet Boys’ DNA, Rent Soundtrack, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer The Musical Soundtrack. I could talk about each of these, but this blog is already too long!

Can you pick just one favorite album?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Sometimes You Lead, Sometimes You Follow

Daily writing prompt

Do you see yourself as a leader?

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By definition, according to the Oxford Dictionary, a leader is “the person who leads or commands a group, organization, or a country.” Solely looking at this definition, I have been a leader. I have been in the President/Highest Office in a few organizations and been one of the supporting main offices (usually secretary) in other organizations. I have also led a team of beauty consultants for almost 15 years. Just going off of what is on paper, I have been a leader in various capacities since about 2004. In other words, if my leadership self was their own person, they’d be having their first legal drink this year! LOL

But do I see myself as a leader?

No. Yes. Maybe. Being a leader is interesting because I do not necessarily see myself as a leader, but I have the type of personality where I can take charge when necessary (especially in critical situations though I may have a come apart when it is over), and I can also be the planner, organizer, etc for various situations. However, sometimes it is also nice to be part of the ensemble so to speak. It’s nice to be in the background while someone else steps in the spotlight. I also feel like as I get older, the reason for seeking leadership changes. When I was younger, sometimes I wanted to be made the leader because it made me feel like I had a bigger purpose (like when I held various offices with organizations). As I have gotten older, I want to lead people with a servant’s heart so that they will be able to mirror that love and gratitude to future generations. Currently, I have a semi-leadership position in a non-profit, and I have said for years that I want to lead it in such away that when I decide to step down, I know that it will be secure for years to come. I have also found myself desiring to grow in business leadership because I know that it will have a bigger positive impact on my own family. However, I also know that to do this and be the best leader I can be, I have some self growth that needs to happen in areas like time management and overcoming obstacles.

So do I see myself as a leader? I see myself growing into the person I was born to be, and if that involves leading others and showing what it is like to live by the Golden Rule, then that’s cool.

Are you a leader?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Words of Wisdom From a “Cool Aunt”

At this point in my life, I have had nearly twenty years of experience as an aunt either from being a chosen aunt to my friend’s kids or to those I am actually related because of Mr. Kisby. I’ve always fancied myself a “Cool Aunt” with my fake nose ring (one day it will be real), tendency to draw on myself, hobbies that many consider to be “teenage things,” love of a variety of music from multiple decades including today, and willingness to take the kids to do cool stuff. As someone who had a “Cool Aunt,” I always wanted to be one, so I’ve tried to do my best! However, now that some of my nieces and nephews are becoming young adults, I also want to be the aunt that shares some life advice that isn’t typically learned as part of a diploma pathway in high school or as part of a degree program in college. So here goes…

It is okay to not know what you want to do at 18, 21, 29, 39, or older. Yes, there are some people who know what they want to do from the time they are small, and their dream never changes. However, some of us are still learning even in are 40s. At one time, I wanted to be an actress. I even spent two years of college pursuing that dream before realizing that starving artist really doesn’t sound like a fun career choice to me. Then I wanted to be a business something that required not one but two business degrees. Then I ended up getting a Masters in Teaching. A long the way I also thought it would be cool to be a bar tender, writer, yoga instructor, barista, blogger, and life coach. Of those I only ever pursued writing and blogging, but sometimes I think others would be cool. I kind of just want to have a bar tending licence much like I’ve always wanted a motorcycle license even though I don’t actually want to drive a motorcycle. Guess what I currently do that I never would have dreamed about it my teens or 20s? I want to – and thank the good Lord I get to – be a homeschooling mama who works a few flexible contractor jobs for a little extra moo-lah. The point? It’s 100% okay if what your dream is changes!

There is never a perfect time for anything. If you spend your life waiting for the time to be right, then you are going to either (a) miss out on a lot of cool things while you’re waiting for perfection or (b) never do what you wanted to do. I first heard this lesson from a former co-worker who said “If you wait for the perfect time to have kids, then you’ll never have kids.” I think this sentiment is applicable to a lot of things, and I loved it because we spend so much time hearing “wait for the right time” or “it’s not the right time.” In practice this means try not to say things like “I’ll do X, Y, Z when I finish school” or “I’ll do X, Y, Z when I have a house.” Instead consider if you really want to do the thing in question, or if you know you want the thing, start planning how you can make it happen. Obviously, there are some things that have to wait for some timing. For example, “When I have been at a job for one year and saved money, I will buy a car” and “When I have $5,000, I will be able to rent an apartment, turn on utilities, and buy the basic necessities for a first apartment.” These are logical because one helps get the other. Just keep in mind there is a difference in things taking time and planning and waiting for the perfect moment.

It’s okay if your first big love isn’t your forever romance, and it’s okay if your first big love is your forever romance. Some people are lucky enough to meet the one they are meant to be with at a young age and have it all work out. Some of us don’t meet and date the one we are meant to be with until the second, third, or more relationship. It is okay to be one of these people too. The important part is finding a partner who you have common interests with that you will love just as much in your 70s as you did in your 20s or 30s. I’ve now loved Mr Kisby through three different age decades, and I can tell you with him I hit the jackpot! It took a broken road to get there, but as Rascal Flatts once said, “God blessed the broken road, that led me straight to you.” Along with common interests, it helps abundantly to find someone with similar religious/spiritual beliefs, a similar moral compass, and life goals. It also helps if your partner is someone you like along with loving them. Also, if your grandma doesn’t like your partner, take it has a hint and dump them. Grandmas are smart.

Have fun in life! Yes, being an “adult” is stressful, hard work, and involves a lot of boring things like paying bills, cleaning house, and having to make smart decisions liking eating at home versus going to fast food every night (which could lead to stomach issues so make sure your “adult” job as health insurance). However, you still have to find time to play. If you quit doing things that you find fun, then you’re missing out on a lot of good times. I’m an “adult” with several years of experience, but I still play video games, do stuff outside, chase my kid around, read books, color, paint, go on dates with my hubby, watch TV, sew, and hangout with friends occassionally. Doing those fun things are what keep you sane. Some of my best advice is to do one fun thing a day even if it’s just for five minutes. If you’ve got a lot of shit going on, set a timer on your phone for five minutes and until it goes off do something just for fun even if it’s just jamming out at max volume. Your mental and emotional health will thank you for having fun!

Last but not least, who you are as a person is 100% unique to you. As a kid you are often told what is right and wrong, what you should believe, etc. I can tell you from experience that it is okay if those things change for you as you grow. There are things that I thought were black and white issues. Now I can tell you that a lot of times there are gray areas, but that is because I have made a point of educating myself or have personally experienced the gray areas. You should do the same. Likewise, it is okay to recognize that something that was once commonplace is now offensive and to opt to change your perspective. I can also tell you for me personally, my faith in the Holy Trinity is a lot stronger now because of an almost decade long span where I didn’t attend church, pray, or really think about Jesus. But in the end, I found my way back, and having all those life experiences has made my faith stronger. It’s okay if the same has to happen with you. Likewise, it is okay to have been brought up with no spiritual/religious background and want to learn more about your options. It’s also okay to be steadfast in what you believe and never stray. No matter your story, you will end up where you’re supposed to be as long as you keep moving forward.

I could keep going, but man that’s a lot! And I know from experience that too much advice just goes in one ear and out the year because most of us don’t believe things until we experience them. Plus, a lot of us have the attention span of a goldfish, so some people may not have even read this far. This is a long post for me! Take it or leave it, those are all my words of wisdom as a “cool aunt.”

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

9:09…Mission Accomplished

Like my turtle? To most people it is simply a cute turtle made from a cute craft kit. For me, this turtle symbolizes the last of my “missions” aka fun goals while I was 41. Every year, I set out to complete a number of fun things equivalent to my age for the year. Looking back on when I started with “33 While 33” I laugh to myself. In the 8 years of doing this little self fun project, I’ve learned a lot of things (in fact, I probably talked about some of these last May 7). Ready for some life lessons 8 years in the making???

Lesson 1: If you continually set goals that you are never actually willing to work towards, then you probably don’t actually want to achieve those goals, or you have not yet had the right motivation for setting said goals. In my 30s, I frequently put, “I want to lose 20 pounds as one of my goals.” Did it happen? Nope. It was one of those goals that I kept regurgitating on paper because “I thought I should.” There was never an actual purpose attached. Now that I’m older and wiser (HA HA), I realize that losing weight is a great goal, but you have to be willing to make the life changes to do so. It wasn’t until three years ago that I actually began taking steps towards being healthier (giving up soda, working to cut out artificial sweetners, increasing activity). Is the 20 pounds gone? Nope. Do I feel better? Yup! Part of that is the habit changes, and the other part of it is realizing that such a big lifestyle change is a daily process and not an “end goal”.

Lesson 2: If you set a goal on a whim, it is okay to make changes if the goal no longer fits your life’s purpose or current situation. A great example of this is one of my original goals was to do yoga on a beach. Sounds great, right? While I love yoga, and I love the beach, taking a beach vacation was not a family priority for us this year. Thus, I changed the goal to be something more in line with our priorities. By allowing myself to change the goal, I was able to achieve something fun and not feel let down for not accomplishing a fun goal!

Lesson 3: Fun goals for yourself do not have to take a lot of time. Some of my goals for this past year took 15 minutes or less to accomplish. When I do this sort of goal making, it isn’t about things that are difficult or take a long time. These goals are all about making time to do things that I enjoy. Side note, if you didn’t do 41 fun things in the last year, take some to add in some fun. Seriously, one of my goals was doing yoga in the backyard. Anyone, can take time to do yoga in the backyard! Highly recommend doing it during the full moon!

Lesson 4: Your fun goals don’t have to make sense to anyone but you. Mine covered a variety of areas from going to a Broadway show (touring of course!), creating art projects, publishing books, doing some family travel, and hiking. There were other things, but I can’t think of them right now, and my journal is in the other room. The point of this exercise is to let yourself have fun by doing things you enjoy!! No one else will ever enjoy the exact same things you do!

Lesson 5: Write about the fun things you’ve done and take pictures if you’re a visual person! It’s a lot of fun to look back at a journal or a photo album at all the fun things you accomplished in a year!

I feel like I could go and on about this year and my fun goals, but I’d really like to drink the rest of my decaf coffee and finish my bowl of watermelon. My challenge to you is this. Think about some fun goals for yourself and begin working on them before your next birthday! You’ll love the result!!!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

What Do You Do?

Whenever I am at a networking event, the question that is always asked is simple: “What do you do?” My first thought when I hear the question is usually some lyrics from the 2001 song by City High called “What Would You Do?” If you grew up in the 90s/00s you know the lyrics – “Boys and girls, wanna hear a true story? Saturday night was at this real wild party” – and iconic voice of Ryan Toby! After that quick thought, I usually give my quick answer, but then as my day continues, I tend to get really contemplative about the question: “What do you do?”

Sometimes I giggle and think the answer to “What do you do?” is clean a lot of poop and vomit. This answer is not glamourous and is not at all reflective of my entire day, but it’s what I tend to think after cleaning up after the Princess Cat with IBS and the Goofy Cat that gets way too many hairballs for being a short hair. Once I even laughed while doing this because I got to witness an ant literally eat shit and die. The reality is that cleaning up after animals is a very small portion of the day, but it does provide the grossest response and most comical considering there was a caricature made of me as a teenager scooping the litter box.

So what do I really do?

I suppose the best answer is a little bit of everything through a variety of channels!

Be the Queen of Our Castle – includes homeschooling, household activities, travel planning, and more! See my previous post: https://thegreatkaysby.com/2024/05/30/help-wanted-stay-at-home-parent/
Bring people joy and hope by offering skincare and glamour consultations and instruction (joy) and fundraising for community events (hope) through my MK business.
Publish! Being a published writer was one of my DREAMS for as long as I can remember. I started writing short stories in elementary school, and it has always been a sometime hobby of mine. Never in a million years would I have believed that the dream of seeing my work in print could become a reality. Then along came a super supportive husband – Mr Kisby – and the self publishing tool called Amazon KDP. Since August 2023, we’ve published 42 titles (some are lined notebooks). Even if we never make a dime, the creative process has been super fun and rewarding!!! thegreatkaysby.com/letters-lore
Teach/tutor others! Just because I left teaching doesn’t mean the desire to teach left me. I use my love of teaching to first and foremost homeschool LilKsby, but I also use it to tutor others online. I absolutely love helping people prep for the ACT, become better writers, and assist with College Application Essays! To me teaching skin care and glamour is even a form of using my joy of teaching. I will always find fulfillment in teaching others!
Volunteer and help those who need a voice to have one! I used to do this a lot more, but I realized that my over extending myself to help others was taking a toll on my home life. It can be very easy to neglect those you love – including yourself – when you put all of your energy into helping others. However, I have found that what you fill your cup first, you can give a lot more! You might even find creative ways to do so! One of my favorite organizations? Camp TESSA!
Listen to music from the 90s and 00s! There is no mood lifter for me greater than jamming out to boy bands and bubble gum pop. Currently listening to BSB and *NSYNC on loop! There is also something about listening to music live that is good for the soul. I cannot pinpoint exactly what it is, but when you can feel the rhythm coursing through your veins, it is life changing!
Re-watch shows/movies I’ve seen a million times! This one is because it is a comfort. Hearing familiar jokes, crying familiar tears over endings even when you know they’re coming, seeing your favorite faces who feel like your friends is comforting. Obviously, I know that Niles Crane isn’t real, but there’s something about the comedic portrayal by David Hyde Pierce that always makes me think that I know this guy, and I’m laughing with him and not at him!
Read! I believe that being an avid reader is a gift. Reading books opens up the doors to so many great things! You can immerse yourself in fantasy worlds, experience emotions that you never would have encountered, learn new skills, and make travel plans all from reading books. Libraries are one of the greatest assets that we have in the world!
Artsy Stuff! Typically I hate to use the word stuff; however, I don’t really know a better word to sum up all of the artsy things that I do. Sew? Check. Scrapbook? Check. Paint? Check. Draw/doodle? Check. Find creative ways to repurpose things? Check. I like to think of myself as Glue Gun Guru!
Be outside! Now, I don’t do this one as much as I should because I sweat and am chunky. However, there is something invigorating about hiking, gardening, kayaking, swimming, etc. It gets me in a great mental space! Even just walking outside for a few minutes at night to look at the starts is game changing.
Planning! I love to plan things! This is why at different times in my life I’ve thought that it would be cool to be an Event Planner or Travel Agent. (Especially this one if it means discounted travel. Remember this started as a food and travel blog!)

The reality is that I do a lot of different things even though sometimes I’m sure it appears that I just post on social media all day (usually it’s a clue that someone is sick, I’m on a long car ride and not driving, or doing an idle activity like watching TV because try as I might, I cannot only do one thing at a time typically).

I want to know, what do you do?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

It’s Been a Minute

It’s been a minute since I took time to write a blog. There are several times in the last few weeks that I have considered writing. Many times when I considered writing, it was fueled by desire to express my feelings about something happening in the world, an ignorant comment seen on social media, or a passive aggressive and semi condescending tone of something said or posted. In those moments when I wanted to write, I was fiery, and I decided against writing no matter how good the blog sounded in my head. Why? Because if I had made those posts, then I would have been doing a thing that I dislike: falling for a trap.

Oftentimes I believe that people say certain things, make posts, etc in an attempt to get people fired up and arguing. Somewhere along the way, what were once topics of friendly debate have now become bait for starting arguments that have set friends and family against one another. There are times when I think the person doesn’t even believe what they are posting, yet they still post it just attempting to start a fight. It’s almost as though they get some sort of dopamine rush from making people upset. I get why people find themselves wanting to argue against ignorance, but when you fall into the trap of ignorance often you’re just hurting yourself as your point won’t be received.

Avoiding the trap can be hard, and I will say that there is a time for voicing one’s opinion. If you’re opinion defends someone who doesn’t have a voice, then by all means shout it from the proverbial rooftops. When feeling the need to say voice your opinion, here are somethings I would recommend considering:

Are your words coming from a place of emotion or reason? Remember that you can catch a lot more flies with honey than vinegar! If you’re from the south, this is where the phrase “Bless your heart” can come into play!
Are your words really something you believe, or are you just retaliating? How often does your brain tell you something that you don’t believe whatsoever? In the heat of the moment, it can be so easy to spout off at the mouth, but here’s a secret. Once you say something, it cannot be undone. This is something I find myself working to correct as my mouth can be faster than my brain. Guess what? Even if forgiveness is granted, that doesn’t mean people forget what you said.
- Are your words something that you would want your kids to believe? Trust me from experience. Even if you don’t think your child is listening, they are picking up on the words you throw down. Eventually if they hear it enough, then they will start believing it.
Is starting a discussion with the person worth your time or the energy it will drain from you? Time and energy are limited resources. Do you really want to waste yours on something that doesn’t really matter, or do you want to look back at your day and fill accomplished and fulfilled?
Is making a comment really going to be beneficial to you and the other person, or could saying it damage your relationship? Relationships with people are fragile, and they way we say things can intentionally or unintentionally hurt them. I remember my grandmother once saying that I needed bangs because my forehead is big. I’m sure she didn’t really mean anything by it, but I still find myself thinking sometimes that my forehead is too big even though I’m pretty sure it is normal size.

Since it’s been a minute for me, I hope that it has also been a minute for you as it means you’re excelling at only responding when it matters and not getting trapped in an argument!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Random Sunday Thoughts

As another Spring Break comes to a close, there are a multitude of thoughts swirling through my head. Like so many times when this happens, I feel like the best thing to do is attempt to sort them out in writing. Why do it in a blog? Because I’m sure if I’m thinking these things, there is someone else out there who can relate.

Thought 1 – On any given day, you can be both the “picture perfect” mama and “a chicken with her hair on fire” mama. Yesterday, I was the mama who takes the family to the Farmer’s Market in order to shop local and organic. That’s helping other families financially while helping the health of my family! We also did our grocery pickups because we meal plan like champs (even though often the plan gets tweaked midweek when a frozen pizza us substituted into the lineup). Then, we napped for three hours, woke up just in time for bath time, and the realization that we never had dinner. That’s when you go to Dominos in your pajamas with a messy bun and allow your toddler to eat greasy pizza way too late at night while staying up way past their bedtime! This was a great contrast to the “picture perfect” me who had taken the toddler to the library twice earlier in the week, taught him about gardening and growing our own vegetables, and the importance of family outings on nature trails and to the zoo! Spoiler alert, with all that teaching of good things, I may have relied on McDonalds and Burger King a little too much this week! Why both? Because one has $1 drinks and good fries, and the other has Whoppers.

Thought 2 – Flexibility is a way of life. I had these great ambitions of a “self spa” day where I was going to color my hair, do a charcoal mask, and paint my nails. All of these are great thoughts, but when you take a three hour nap while snuggling a toddler who then goes to bed two hours late, the thoughts stay thoughts. For a minute, I was kind of upset about it, then I realized that at least I got a shower and to pluck my eyebrows (they were pretty unsightly…not to mention a dead giveaway that I color my hair when they are thicker). Sometimes it’s the little things that make you smile!

Thought 3 – Does it ever become easier to go back rib work after breaks? Don’t get me wrong. I like my job, but I LOVE being a wife and mom. After a whole week of just getting to be a wife and mom, it is really hard to go back to both. As much as you try, it is really hard to be fully there for both. I’m sure I’m not the only person who has thoughts such as “Did I take the chicken out for dinner?” and “Did I switch the baby’s laundry out?” while at work. Likewise, at home during wife/mom time sometimes I can’t help but think about things that happened at work that day especially if something didn’t get finished that I wanted to complete. Once I get back into the swing of both, it’s always fine. There’s just always that dread the day before returning since it requires sacrificing time with those you love most.

Thought 4 – Why are people so quick to change their tunes based on popular opinions even when they are founded in misconceptions? Just a year ago, the general public was celebrating teachers for their flexibility and quick ability to adapt to non-traditional methods of providing instruction. People were actually talking about how teachers deserved higher pay! Now, some of the same public acts like teachers are horrible, selfish human beings because they put their own families needs first and/or have been anxiety ridden by all the pandemic protocols. FYI…this school year has required more work than any other year in order to meet the needs of all students.

My random thoughts might not make a lot of sense; however, they are a little more sorted out! Just like I knew they would be. 😊 I hope that whatever random thoughts you’re having tonight, you can sort them out too.

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

The Eye of the Hurricane

“In the eye of a hurricane/there is quiet/for just a moment” is the lyric that kept running through my head over and over while I worked on the pictured painting with LilKsby. The lyric is from “Hurricane”, a musical number from Lin Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. During the last few weeks life has kind of felt like a hurricane with so much going on with the pandemic. Businesses and places have reopened, but then they’ve had to close back down. Case numbers had seemingly plateaued, but now there are more cases than ever in certain areas. Masks have gone from being recommended to having to be mandated. On any given day one person can experience so many thoughts and feelings that they feel as though they are constantly living in an emotional hurricane.

Then, there are days where you finally feel like you can breathe; days where you feel like you can finally relax. These are the days when you feel safe from all the distress of the world; these are the days when you just enjoy the life you’ve been blessed with having. These days are the eye of the hurricane for you. Currently, these are the best days! They are days of no anxiety, no doubt, and just experiencing relaxation, contentment, and joy. I think we could all agree that we need more of these days!

So what’s in my eye of the hurricane? Snuggles with LilKsby, cooking for him and Mr Kisby, baking, painting, reading, avoiding social media (that really gets the old anxiety going), exercising, writing, and watching fun videos (lately a lot of Nicholas Brendon’s lives), communicating with family/friends, and focusing on today. My eye of the hurricane is a comfort to me, and with all the uncertainties these days, it’s a good place to spend some time. In my eye of the hurricane, there is love and joy! Even though I know this storm must be weathered, it is good to just be in the moment of quiet sometimes.

What’s in your eye of the hurricane?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Goodbye Grumpy Grumps

“So no one told you life was going to be this way. Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, you’re love life’s DOA.” – “I’ll Be There For You”, The Rembrandts

Ever wake up in a grumpy mood? You might be grumpy for no apparent reason other than you want to be grumpy that day; you might be grumpy because you’ve let things pile up and they are stressing you out. For whatever reason you find yourself channeling Ross Geller from early seasons of Friends when he’d walk in and say, “Hi” with the most depressed tone of voice on the planet. (Seriously, that “Hi” alone should’ve gotten him an Emmy!) Which I suppose season one Ross is better than season five Ross when he goes all crazy over a sandwich made from Thanksgiving leftovers! Either way, some days you just find yourself in a mood where no one should mess with you!

The question then becomes, how do you shake that grump-o-saurus mood? If you’re looking for answers, then here are some of my go to things to shake a bad mood!

Daydream about vacations! I love to travel (remember why I started the blog in the first place)! The beach and the mountains are my two happiest geographical locations on the planet. So when I’m feeling grumpy, it is fun to pretend I’m planning a vacation for an upcoming break! The catch with this tactic is to not actually book a vacation because then you spend money you don’t have and get grumpy again when the bill comes!
Write! Many times a blog idea comes when I’m experiencing some sort of emotion that I want to sort out. Just putting things into words even if you throw them away, rip them up, or burn them is very therapeutic.
Brain dump! When I have a lot on my mind, sometimes I like to do a brain dump. This is especially helpful when I’m feeling overwhelmed because there are a lot of things to be completed. I will brain dump every task I can think of onto a piece of paper. Then I put all of the things into one of four categories: Urgent and Necessary, Important but Not Urgent, Delegate, or Do Whenever. I’m also known to brain dump and put things into categories like home, family, work, and self care. I find brain dumping very useful!
Turn the music up and dance like nobody is watching! Dance like Phoebe Buffay runs! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-IVhJLD0sQ
Allow yourself a break from everything you need to do for a short period and do something mindless like watch TV, play a game, take a hot shower, etc.
Exercise, meditate, or do some deep breathing.
Sing loudly like you’re Alanis bashing an ex-lover back in the day! Sidebar: Is that song really about Dave Coulier?
Talk to a trusted friend who will listen without judgment.
Read my blog! LOL

Okay, so the last one might not be my greatest suggestion, but it is there if you need it. Hopefully some of these methods can help you say “Goodbye Grumpy Grumps!” If you’ve got other suggestions, then I’d love to see them in the comments!

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby

Remember You

The best way to describe Mama Brain – the postpartum version of Baby Brain – is that it is like when you are finishing your shower, and you can’t recall if you actually used shower gel or just thought you did. Sometimes you might wash again to be sure, other times you may just feel your loofah, be satisfied that it is wet, and hope for the best. I think everyone – parent or not – has had that feeling! For me Mama Brain is usually a sign that my brain is overloaded, and I need a little time for me even if it is just five minutes.

Me time…I think that is my biggest piece of advice for new parents. Take some time for yourself because without some “me time”, you can’t recharge and be the best mommy or daddy possible. That said, here are some of the me time things that I thought I’d share. 😊

Eyebrow maintenance – I’ve got some unruly and scarred (I’m one of the clumsiest people ever) eyebrows, and it can make me feel like a new lady to take five minutes and pluck them! And as a bonus, when my eyebrows are thinner it is harder for people to discern whether or not my hair is its natural color or not. I like to keep folks guessing!

Shaving your legs – This one takes some time to accomplish, but there is a refreshing, rejuvenated feeling that goes along with not being able to spy your leg hairs at a distance. Usually I don’t notice until I’m wearing a skirt at school, and then I find myself wondering if everyone else can see them too. Plus it is nice to not feel your leg hair through your pajamas!

Read – a book, a magazine, a website, anything! It’s nice to get lost in someone else’s world for a few minutes. YA books are some of my favs because they don’t require much thought. Recently, I’ve been tearing through Meg Cabot’s Heather Wells series. Reading has also helped me stay awake during late night pumping and nursing sessions.

Writing – the most therapeutic me time in my opinion! Whether it is journaling to have a brain dump or brainstorming novel ideas, I find writing to be relaxing.

Napping – There are days when nothing is more perfect than having Mr Kisby take care of LilKsby while I take a nap for an hour. It’s the most restful sleep ever!

Video Games – a good mindless activity to relax! I love that there are a variety of things I can do with video games. I can defend the Horde or Alliance, sing Karaoke, and solve word puzzles.

Tell me, parents out there what are your favorite me times?

XOXO,

The Great Kaysby