"My soul is full of longing for the secret of the sea, and the heart of the great ocean sends a thrilling pulse through me." – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Admit it. You like instant gratification. I’ll admit that I do, and I think this is why I like gardening. I find it very satisfying to get out in the flower bed and tend to it. There’s something especially satisfying about pulling weeds! For me, the satisfaction comes from instantly being able to see a difference between where I’ve started and paused or finished. I love anything where I can visually see progress!
My raised flower bed has been part of our house for seven years. My dad helped us build it, and maintaining it has been a family endeavor. Last year, it went untended because LilKsby was only two weeks old at this time. Needless to say, Mr Kisby and I were a little preoccupied. This year, it’s back to being a family endeavor.
Yesterday, LilKsby watched as I tended the flower bed. I took it as a time to tell him about invasive species which I know technically Morning Glory isn’t, but man it sure takes over! I also told him about sunflowers and my grandma from Kansas. I told him about my grandma from here and how she always had the most beautiful flower beds. He mostly spilled his water all over himself, but I like to think he enjoyed my stories.
Today, I went out by myself while Mr Kisby played with LilKsby. It was therapeutic to be there and taking care of the flower bed in silence. I did my best to clean up around my phlox which has gone wild without uprooting too much of it. I also envisioned a beautiful way to fill more of it since most of the plants are gone. There was something peaceful about being in the flower bed. 🥰
I hope that everyone has something that brings them similar peace!
Today, I got a little over zealous with getting things done! We woke up after not getting enough sleep and went at 110% until we crashed for a 3 hour nap. Me and LilKsby both slept through dinner! I’d say the nap was earned. After all, we got up and got ready, attended our first Virtual Baby and Me class (to which I now know you’re supposed to bring maracas), did Virtual Get Ready Camp, played, read books together (got to get those badges), baked, ran an errand, and ate. I also worked my Mary Kay business virtually in there, cleaned litter, did dishes, froze breastmilk, and read my own book. Wow…now that I look at it, no wonder we both needed a nap.
That’s part of my personality. I have a tendency to do stuff, do stuff, do stuff, and then I crash and need a nap (sometimes figuratively, sometimes literally). This tendency is why I think one of my biggest self improvement needs is time management. I need to remind myself that Rome wasn’t built in a day!
Tomorrow we will strive to do less. We will see how it goes! Until then, I’m ready for nap round two. Although at this time of a night that just means going to bed!
A notable television character used to frequently say, “Challenge accepted!” That character was the notorious womanizer Barney Stinson on How I Met Your Mother. I may not understand a lot of the characters motivations, but I do get this competitive mentality. National Sales Director Emeritus Linda Toupin always referred to this as the 4-H Mentality. She always talked about how being in 4-H taught her to learn skills, set goals, and strive to win a blue ribbon. I was never in 4-H, but I was in enough youth sports, art fairs, performance art competitions, etc to understand how motivating being competitive can be!
Fast forward to now…
I still love a competition! Which is why I’m super excited about Adult Summer Reading! I literally discovers it less than 24 hours ago, and I’m super excited! The idea is to get a bingo on the card your print and submit it for a chance at prizes! How fun is that? I can’t wait to have a chance to win for doing something I already enjoy! Plus, it has introduced me to other fun events through the public library!
Something else I love because of my competitive nature? Virtual badges! I pushed myself to earn several tech ones during NTI for a competition and earned the prize! I don’t just get excited about virtual badges for me. I get excited when I see a coworkers achievements from their badges! I got super excited today when LilKsby earned 7 badges in one day for Pre-Reader Summer Reading!
I feel like in a lot of ways my competitive nature is one of my strongest traits. Being competitive can show determination and grit. It can also help you to learn the art of losing which I also think is important! Plus, when I’m competing, I feel that I have some of my best mental health! Can’t beat that!
Now for a little personal competition that is part of the summer reading! Five days in a row of journaling (I’m choosing to use my blog). Let’s see if I can do it! Get ready for five days of me and my randomness!
As a teacher, I’m very used to having a set schedule that I have to follow. The bell rings at time X. First block begins at time Y, second block begins at time Z, and this pattern continues until the final bell to go home at the end of the day. After school, I have a set routine to follow based on the day, I go to bed around the same time, and I get up the next morning and do it all over again. In a lot of ways, life during the school year becomes like the directions on the back of the shampoo bottle: “Rinse, lather, repeat; rinse, lather, repeat.”
Given the grind of each day, you may think, “Man, I bet she loves Summer Break and having nothing she has to do.” Having nothing to do sounds good on paper. So does being able to stay up until all hours and sleep as late as I want (maybe I’m an overgrown teenager at heart). However, do you know what I’ve learned about myself as I’ve grown as a person (grown as a person sounds more positive than gotten older)? I’m like a fish out of water when I don’t have something that I have to do.
If I don’t have a to do list or an event to look forward to, I find myself sitting around either waiting for someone to entertain me, wasting a lot of time in my recliner, or driving Mr Kisby crazy with “Whatcha doing?” or “What’s your plan for the day?” I bet I ask the second one at least twice a day on average. When you’re so used to your days having to be structured, it can be really hard to have a lot of free time. That’s why I find myself having to have “To Do” lists even during summer to feel like I’ve been productive. Some days my “To Do” list might be simple like “Scoop Litter” and “Pay Bill X”, but there is something about that list that makes my day a million times better. For me, it is the intrinsic satisfaction that comes from checking something off the list. Plus, I love the visual of a completed list. Nothing to me is more freeing than looking at that completed list. It’s almost like the completed list is a ticket to fun and goofing off by doing things like wasting time in the recliner!
I also thrive on having events/activities to look forward to. For example, I’m super excited about starting Virtual Get Ready Camp and Summer Reading with LilKsby this week. I’m thrilled that for like an hour 4 or 5 days a week that we’re going to have a planned activity. Having these helps me to feel like we’re accomplishing something. Then when we’re done, we can spend the rest of the day sitting in his baby pool! Well, he can sit in it, and I can sit in my camp chair and make faces at him. 🙂 I also thrive on having vacations to look forward too. In some ways, I enjoy planning the vacation (aka looking at pretty pictures of things to do and going “ooo, ahh”) as much as going on the vacation. I’m truly a happier, more productive (and easier to be around) when I have a “to do” list and things to look forward to doing.
Now, all of this said. I do enjoy staying up late and sleeping until 9 or 10 every morning. Frankly, I’m proud that I’ve seemed to be able to get LilKsby to accept this routine as well. I also enjoy the occasional day when to quote Bruno Mars, “Today I don’t feel like doing anything/I just wanna lay in my bed”. However, for the most part I need an outline for the day to keep from driving those around me bananas. You know what? I’m finally at a place in life where I’m okay with that, and it doesn’t bother me to not be more spontaneous. I hope you too can find that peace.
In one hour it will be my 37th birthday! To say that I’m excited would be an understatement. My birthday is definitely my second favorite holiday. I love cake! I love a reason to be with family and friends! I love presents! Most of all, I love celebrating another year here on earth living a life of abundance!
I have to say looking back, that 36 has been one of the best years ever! Some may think, “But Kaysby, we’re in the middle of a global pandemic! In fact, the last two month of your 36th year have been spent social distancing and in pretty much complete isolation with Mr Kisby and LilKsby!” That’s two months of time that I’ve gotten to spend with my AMAZING baby almost 24/7 (seriously I’ve been away from him for maybe two hours) and my hubby (who I don’t just love but also like to be around)!
Plus, some of the greatest things ever have happened while 36! Here are the highlights:
We had a baby! LilKsby has the distinction of being born when I was 36 just as I was born when my dad was 36. Also, the three of us are all Tauruses who were born in the Year of the Pig. How fun is that?
The three of us got to spend A LOT of time together! You know what? We love our little family, and we wouldn’t trade the togetherness for the world!
We got to see some of the best of Broadway by going to Hamilton and Jesus Christ Superstar. Bonus? We also got to watch Jesus Christ Superstar again on Andrew Lloyd Weber’s YouTube channel!
We traveled with LilKsby! He won’t remember it, but I’ll always remember playing with him in hotel pools! I’m so glad that he loves water just like his mama!
We got to celebrate several holidays before and after quarantine began: Halloween, Not-So-Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, Easter, a wedding, and birthdays.
We got to get some of the best family pictures ever made with Elcara Photography!
We’ve tried new things like baking a cake from scratch and learning guitar.
We’ve virtually visited museums and amusement parks!
We’ve finally taken time to do little things around the house that there never seemed to be time to complete.
We’ve supported causes near and dear to our hearts!
We’ve taken more time for things we enjoy like creating art, blogging, playing games, and having family movie nights! The last of these is why I’ve finally seen the first three Indiana Jones movies and all of the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies that have been released thus far!
I’ve taken time to read! Books are great!
We’ve taken more time to attend church in person and virtually – especially virtually!
There’s more greatness that I know I just can’t think of right now! 36 has been that great of a year! I hope that 37 will be just as great, and that next year when it is 31 minutes until my birthday, I’ll be finishing another blog about another great year!
To everyone else having a birthday today, tomorrow, or soon, I hope that you can reflect and realize that your year has been great even if there were struggles along the way (after all no road is ever perfectly paved)! Find joy in the little things, and live by your priorities! Love life! Here’s to 37!
In the last 34 days, I’ve left the house 5 times maybe 6 to do activities other than walk around the neighborhood. I had to go to work one day, picked up an online grocery order once, went for a drive and lunch pick up, and picked up dinner twice. I’ve cried more than I’ve ever cried especially out of being deeply moved by the kindness and generosity of others. But most importantly, I’ve spent tons of time with Mr Kisby and LilKsby that I wouldn’t have otherwise! ❤️ This is my favorite part of social distancing/corona-quarantine, and I can honestly say that at 34 days and counting boredom is nowhere in sight!
So far I have or we have:
Watched a lot of TV (often just as background noise) including: Full House, Fuller House, Boy Meets World, Girl Meets World, Nailed It, Hart of Dixie, Onward, and Inside Out.
Baked cookies
Learned to make bread from a starter
Cooked more than ever (seriously, we had an eating out problem)
Cleaned
Napped
Learned how to work from home
Painted my nails
Given a haircut
Played board games
Taken Udemy classes for fun
Started to learn guitar from YouTube
Worshipped virtually
Visited with family virtually
Played video games
Created art projects
Played with toys
Read books
I’m sure we’ve done more, but that’s all I can think of at the moment! The good news is there is still a lot we can do without getting bored! The best news is that we’ve gotten time together we wouldn’t have had otherwise!!! FYI…if it wasn’t for the pandemic, then I may not have seen LilKsby’s first steps or been there when he started to say, “Dada”. Those have been the best moments!
I hope that you’re finding things to do during this time at home and enjoying it. I’d love to know your favorite things!
“We will get through this. We will get through this together.” – Gov Andy Beshear, everyday at 5 pm
March 1, 2020
March 1 – 28 days ago – we were driving home from attending a wedding. It was a great trip, so great that we talked about going back for Spring Break at the end of the month. If you would’ve asked me on that car ride home what we’d be doing in four weeks, then never in my wildest dreams would I have thought the answer would be social distancing and finding a new normal amid a pandemic.
Yet here we are…
We find ourselves in a new situation where every tickle in your throat has you wondering if shortness of breath is soon to follow, or if the warm feeling is because it’s hot out, or you have a fever. We find ourselves hearing about toilet paper hoarding and sections of grocery stores being desolate. When we have to be out, we’re supposed to be no closer than 6 feet from anyone else. If we don’t have to be out, then we need to be home. #healthyathome is trending, which is great because it means people are following directions, and a new normal is developing all over the globe.
My new normal truly started on March 17, the day we began teaching school online from home. The last two weeks of NTI days have been the hardest two weeks in my teaching career work wise. I’ve had to learn a whole new bag of tricks while trying my best to be just as effective virtually as I am in the classroom! I’m very thankful that I have an awesome PLC for support.
Teaching from home aside, regular home life has been different too. There’s been very little face to face contact with the outside world. When there has been, it’s been either passing folks while going for a walk or the people working hard to make necessity pick up happen. We’ve become accustomed to seeing family virtually each day instead of in person. We’re cooking meals more than ever, and I’ve not watched this much television since having the flu twice in 2018! (Sidebar: binge watching Boy Meets World was AMAZING!)
But do you know what else has happened?
We’ve come to love our governor!
LilKsby clapped for the first time!
I’ve gotten more sweet baby snuggles than I ever dreamed possible!
I’ve realized how much fun can be had without leaving the house!
We’ve just sat and talked!
I’ve gotten the recommended amount of sleep frequently!
It hasn’t all been bad! We’re adapting to this new normal, and we’ll continue to do so. We will continue to try and be the best people we can in this odd situation. Will there be tough days? Yup! Will there be moments of anxiety? Yup! We’re still human after all! But those are just moments, and we’re working to win the long game!
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled…” – – Robert Frost, “The Road Not Taken”
“He will not go behind his father’s saying, And he likes having thought of it so well He says again, ‘Good fences make good neighbors.” – – Robert Frost, “Mending Wall”
My day job – the one that supports the life I envision for me and my family – is that of a Junior English teacher. During the last trimester of the school year, we always cover 1900s American Literature. In preparing for that to begin, I’ve found myself with the words of Robert Frost stuck in my head. The quotes above are from two of his poems that I teach, and I usually find that they lead to good in class discussions. The discussion always becomes what is better, taking the road less traveled or doing things for the sake of tradition?
I’d love to say that anytime I come to a fork in the room that I take the road less traveled, but that would be a lie. The road less traveled often involves doing difficult tasks or trying new things with no guarantee of a desirable outcome. It is a road that can involve blood, sweat, and tears which is why it is often times easier to stay on the well trodden path. However, it can also be a road that has an arduous journey yet leads to the most abundant joy imaginable! When I think of the road less traveled like this, I immediately think of the pregnancy journey MrKisby and I went through and how perfect LikKsby is! I think of how much I love teaching, and how glad I am that I didn’t go into management like my first degree!
But there have been many times in life where I’ve taken the easy road; times in life where I’ve just followed tradition without questioning it. Sometimes it has definitely been easier to just fall into routines and follow the status quo. I think of times when you tell yourself things like “It’s okay that I’m overweight; it’s genetic” or “I can’t do this because of INSERT REASON.” There are definitely times when it is easier to just rebuild the wall than question why you’re doing it in the first place.
Reflecting over the two choices, I think it is good to have a personality that is a mix of both thought patterns. There are traditions that it is perfectly fine to not question because they are fun and harmless. It is perfectly okay to take the easy way out at times because seriously why make things harder if that causes stress? I think as long as you’re open to trying the road less taken and do so every once and again, then you’ve found the balance between.
And I think that’s a good way to live. That’s my Frost for thought. What do you think?
However, I truly believe Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart.”
That said, I will be the first to say that though I’ve been Catholic for most of my life (there was a hiatus in my 20’s), I don’t always remember what the preacher is saying at Mass. Thus, I am truly shocked that today – Monday – I am still pondering yesterday’s sermon on the Heart of the Nation Mass (don’t judge me for watching Mass on YouTube…at least I’m watching!). The priest was talking about the Pharisees and how they were determined to follow the law. He then went on to discuss how Jesus didn’t just want people to follow the law; Jesus wanted people to live the law.
Specifically he mentioned the law of “Thou shalt not kill.” You can follow this law by not murdering. Simple enough. Living the law of “Thou shalt not kill”? Not as simple. If you think about it, every time we have a negative self deprecating thought, we are killing our spirit. Likewise, every time we say something negative about someone, we are killing their self-esteem. It is so easy to make comments such as “She’s gaining weight!” or “He looks like he’s on drugs!” We (society in general) have a tendency to think that if no one hears our negative comments, then it won’t impact them.
WRONG!
Eventually, the person who is having negative comments made about them is going to find out the comments are being made, and there is a very good chance that it is going to make them feel terrible! Their self-esteem might be damaged; their spirit might be killed. If I’m following the law, I didn’t break “Thou shalt not kill.” But if I’m living it? I sure did break it!
The more I thought about this scenario, I began to realize that the idea of “following or living” isn’t just applicable to laws. The idea is applicable to everyday life. My day job – the one that puts food on the table and keeps the shelter over our heads – is teaching. Every school day, I see kids who are following the actions and words of their peers because they want to feel like they have a place. Instead of living their own lives, they get caught up with what is deemed “cool” or “acceptable”. Sometimes they even lose sight of who they are in the process.
I see this with adults too – including myself at times – who want to follow all of what they are told without question. I do this A LOT with what LilKsby’s pediatrician tells us to do to the point that it drives other people bananas! In my life, I’ve never felt like I’m purposely “following” instead of “living”, but as creatures of habit it can be easy to get caught up in just “following”. It’s not intentional. It’s just easy.
That said, a lot of my goals for 2020 are very tied to “living” and not “following”. This year, I want to be more creative. I want to get in better shape. I want to blog more. I want to read a lot of books with LilKsby. I want to spend more time with MrKsby. I want to have purple hair and get my nose pierced even if people think it is weird for someone in their 30’s to want. I want to become the person I am destined to be spiritually, emotionally, and physically. In short? I want “LIVING” and not “FOLLOWING”!
Will it be hard? Yup!
Will it have obstacles? Yup!
Will it be worth it? HELL YES!
By the way…it will also involve music because there is a little girl in me who dreamed of singing, and she’s ready to be free! Luckily, I can carry a tune!
I know this blog has been a little all over the place (let’s face it, that’s how my brain works), but I hope that it inspires you! I hope that in 2020 and every other year that you will choose “living” over “following” and be who you were put on this earth to be! I believe that if we all choose “living” over “following”, then great things can happen!
You know what is awesome about babies? They will laugh at anything! Seriously…anything! LilKsby just laughed hysterically at a made up song about pickle juice. It went like this: “Pickle juice, pickle juice, everybody wants some pickle juice, pickle juice.”
We also have a song about cleaning up that he finds quite amusing! He definitely prefers to laugh at the made up songs. A round of Smelly Cat doesn’t get so much as a half smile, but he’ll laugh like crazy if you sing about “diapees” while changing his diaper.
Silly songs aren’t the only things that make LilKsby laugh. He laughs at funny faces, funny sounds, stories, his toys, and his kittens! Mr Kisby can really make him laugh! No matter what has him laughing, his laugh and smile are contagious. They make you laugh and smile too.
It is important to laugh and smile. They are simple little things that can have a major impact on life. They can make you feel beautiful, improve someone’s day, and burn calories! Laughs and smiles are one of the simplest most powerful things we can do!
Yet somewhere along the way, it seems people forget how to laugh and smile. Personally, I do them a lot. I’m smiling right now as I type and hold LilKsby, but I feel like I’m probably the exception to the rule. So I’d like to issue a challenge to my readers. Once a day at a minimum, try to laugh and smile. At the very least, smile at someone and say, “Good morning!” to brighten their day.
I believe that if we all could be more like babies, then the world would be so full of laughter and smiles that it would be a better place! If you need a starting point for smiling, then I’ll give you this:
It is New Year’s Eve, and there is about 2 and a half hours left in 2019 (to be honest, I started this blog on the 30th in the wee hours of the morning before pumping, but that’s mom life). There is about to be a new year and decade. I’m already seeing New Year’s resolutions on social media. There are a lot of “common” resolutions such as:
I’m going to lose weight.
I’m going to eat better.
I’m going to stop cursing.
I’m going to be on my phone/social media less.
90% of the time it seems like these resolutions inevitably fail (really I don’t know because stats and research tend to bore me). If I made New Year’s resolutions, then I’m sure that I’d be in the failure group. Why? For one, because a lot of New Year’s resolutions seem to be made with a band wagon mentality. Therefore, if my resolution doesn’t actually match my purpose and passion in life, then I’m not going to follow through with committing to the resolution. For two, if I just make a resolution without planning, then I’m going to forget it before January 2.
Thus, here is my Resolution Revelation! In order for a resolution to be successful it should actually be a goal. Additionally, it will help if it is a SMART goal. In this case, SMART doesn’t mean intelligent; SMART means Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time Bound. I feel like Achievable and Relevant are key components as it is easy to become discouraged when things seem impossible or outdated. For more specifics on SMART goals Google the term. There is a lot of information out there! I had to Google the term just to remember what all the letters stood for at one in the morning when I started writing the rough draft for this blog.
To test my theory, here is a typical resolution versus a SMART goal:
Resolution – I want to lose weight.
SMART Goal – I want to lose 20 pounds averaging 1 pound per week by Memorial Day as measured by Saturday weight checks.
Do you see the difference? The first is very vague, but the second provides a plan of action. You could even add mini-goals within the SMART Goal such as losing 5 pounds by Valentine’s Day.
I also feel like the SMART Goal helps provide direction. At this point in my life, I feel that having a sense of direction – a sense of purpose – is necessary. That said, one of my SMART Goals is the following: I will blog a minimum of three times per month during 2020 as blogging helps me sort out my thoughts and provides me with a creative outlet.
For me personally, this blog is out of my comfort zone. However, they say that we often teach what we need to learn ourselves. I feel that for 2020 to be a success I needed to critically think about goal setting. This blog came from that thinking. Subscribe to my blog to see if I make my SMART goal associated with blogging!
This morning when I was looking at my blog statistics, I discovered that “Lactation Lament” is my blog that has the most views. Today, I thought I would expand on it with “Never Give Up!!!”
Why today? Because today is December 30. It also marks 5 months of being formula free and only being on breastmilk (plus now some Stage 1 food)! This is huge, and I share that so others can see the importance of never giving up! If you’ve read my first blog on this subject, then you know how easy it would have been for me to quit. However, I’m stubborn and to quote one of my business mentors, Julie Weaver, “You don’t tell a redhead what she will or will not do.” We’re spunky that way!
Breastfeeding isn’t the only time LilKsby has taught me to never give up. When he wanted to sit up, but didn’t have the core control to do so, he did baby crunches until he could sit up. Now his favorite thing to do is sit up and play with his toys! When he wanted to not have to do tummy time, LilKsby rocked himself sideways again and again until eventually he could roll over! Currently, he’s applying this never give up mentality to learning to crawl. Everyday he gets a little closer!
Imagine if all of us could have the determination of babies. What if, no matter what naysayers might try and tell us, we never gave up on our goals? What could we accomplish in life if we would just keep going? I imagine that we could conquer the world with the right attitude!
As a new decade is about to begin(raise your hand if you’re ready to party like Gatsby), I want you and myself to be like LilKsby and never give up! Whatever your goal might be, I’m here to cheer you on as you cross the finish line! I hope that our successes can inspire you (and myself) on any future endeavors!
This blog was originally handwritten on 12/23/19, and it is being typed on 12/29. Christmas may have passed, but the message is still pertinent.
Lying here awake at 4 am, I find myself staring at my husband and son. There is gifts that need to be wrapped, shopping to be done, and crafts to be made, but looking at my sweet boy, I realize how much none of that matters. I don’t feel this way because he’s a baby and won’t remember; I feel this way because we’ve already established with him traditions that are more important than any present underneath the Christmas tree.
1) Angel Tree – since before we were married, Mr Kisby and I have adopted 1 or 2 kids from the Angel Tree. We are beyond blessed even at our hardest points in life, and it is important to share those blessings. This year we shopped as a family. It felt really nice to know our family was blessing others. This year Mr Kisby and I picked our angel, and soon I hope LilKsby will feel led to pick who we bless.
2) Fellowship – Christmas is full of parties like Sushimas. At these events we see some people like once a year, yet it will seem like we haven’t been apart. I hope LilKsby will one day have these kinds of friendships.
3) Baking – growing up, my Uncle David would always make candy during the holidays. He would give it to friends, family, and people in the community as a thank you for their service. I never learned to make candy, but I can bake like a champ. Every year I make a pecan pie for my dad, something chocolate for the rest of the family, and something for our doctors and vet. I think extra thank yous are important this time of year as everyone enjoys feeling appreciated.
4) Christmas Cards – I know a lot of mail is uncommon these days which might be why receiving cards is so nice. Sending them is even better to me as it is a way of sending a little piece of love to those you care about in the world.
Now it is 4:30 am, and my sweet boy is semi awake and nursing happily. I smile to myself thinking of another baby boy being nursed by his mother in a stable. That baby saved the world; I hope mine will show the world that it “tis the gift to be giving”.
As I was putting up Christmas lights on our porch this evening, that lyric kept running through my head. Normally, Mr Kisby puts up the outdoor lights, and he makes them perfect. This year if I wanted them up, then I had to do it. So tonight – wearing a fleece onesie because that was sufficiently warm – I put the lights up on the front porch. Me who cannot draw a straight line tackles the Christmas lights! Me who has the attention span of a goldfish! It was no easy task, and at one point I left a strand of lights hanging while I went in search of candy cane yard stakes. However, though it may look haphazard, I got the lights up.
In a lot of ways this is a perfect imperfect holiday season. It’s perfect in that I’m going to get to spend a lot of time with my wonderful family (LilKsby is 7 months old today!), and I’ve finally got enough decor up to satisfy me. Although should someone volunteer to put up my nativity outside, I wouldn’t tell them no. It’s also perfect in that we are blessed with our beautiful baby boy.
Then there’s the imperfect. There’s the lay-off. There’s the fact that there are five days until Christmas, and all I have for Mr Kisby is a hug. Presents we do have are unwrapped while some are still in transit. I haven’t done any baking for others, and Christmas cards are still in the box. I feel like the list goes on and on. All of it combined is making me a little crazy because I want LilKsby’s first Christmas to be perfect!
Now here are some fundamental truths:
I know LilKsby won’t remember this Christmas or how perfect it was.
I know that all the material aspects are not the point of Christmas.
I know that I have to learn to let go of certain things as important now that there is a baby in the picture.
Do you know why I think I have a hard time with these truths? Change is scary. For me, not having Christmas perfectly together is not a change I was prepared to face. I also think this might be why I’ve had a difficult time getting in the Christmas spirit this year.
Now, as I sit holding my sleeping baby and looking at the tree, I hope that I can let go of the idea of all the things that have to be done for Christmas to be “perfect”. I need to relax, accept the imperfection, be glad for what I do have, and enjoy the holiday season.
It’s time to accept perfect imperfection and be blessed!
Have you ever heard that no two snowflakes are alike? Have you ever heard that no two people are alike? From what I can find via Google, the first one is true. From my life experiences, the second one is true. So given this information, why is it so easy to get caught up in the“Comparison Game”?
I first started thinking about this in context of LilKsby. I fully understand that certain comments are made innocently, but they got me wondering why is there such a desire to compare him to other babies? From birth it seems like he’s either been compared to me, Mr Kisby, other babies we know, or a fancy pants chart of some sort. What’s wrong with LilKsby just being himself? I love that he’s a unique little guy!
The constant comparisons were really starting to annoy me until tonight while power pumping when I had a light bulb moment. I think the comparisons bother me because I’m constantly comparing myself to those I know or read about on the Internet. Some of my “comparison game” moments include:
Breastmilk Production – LilKsby has been formula free since July 30, 2019, but I still make less than most women
Our journey to getting LilKsby
Housekeeping
Decorating for Christmas
Balancing a full time job and being a good mom
Healthy Habits
Weight Loss
Activity level in MK
Amount of sleep
How good of a teacher I am
I’m sure I could keep going, but you get the picture.
As I think of these things, I can’t help but wonder if people ever compare themselves to me. Honestly, I hope they don’t. The truth of the matter is that I’m an awesome person because of everything that is uniquely me. I’m sure not many people can make these claim to fames:
I accidentally entered a National Board Game tournament in 2014 and came in 3rd place!
I’ve lived in two places with garages, and at both of them I backed out of the them and hit the side of the garage. Same car!
I won $11 on scratch offs as a kid and bought a battery operated race car.
I’ve been the Volunteerof the Year with a local Junior Women’s Club twice.
I can’t draw a straight line, but I’m really good at sewing. I also enjoy painting, scrapbooking, and singing. Expressing myself creatively is very important!
I’m right handed on paper, but my left hand is always stronger on strength tests.
I can’t remember yesterday half the time, but I can tell you where I was when First Lady Pat Nixon died: the long defunct Radcliff water slide.
I can name all 50 states alphabetically as long as I can sing that song from elementary school.
I really don’t remember high school graduation other than it being cold and rainy, but I can tell you my kindergarten graduation involved a blow up stegosaurus and singing a song about peanut butter and jelly.
On field day in sixth grade, I came in second place in the free throw competition. First and third place were boys.
I played my dream role in high school when I got to be Emily Webb in Our Town which became one of my favorite plays in elementary school. Every show I’ve been a part of since then has just been icing on the cake!
So when I think about it, the “comparison game” is ridiculous. I may not be like every other wife, mother, daughter, teacher, or business owner, but that is what makes me wonderful! My unique talents and claims to fame make me the AMAZING person that I am. Sometimes I just need a little reminder of just how amazing I am. Don’t we all?
I hope and pray that you are being true to yourself and thriving with your own uniqueness. Be the best you that you can be!
The Great Kaysby 